Grays shadow, p.35
Gray's Shadow, page 35
part #4 of Kings of Hell MC Series
Gray gave him a tight smile and went on, “My father ridiculed me too when I was younger. I bet he’d have loved it if I was more like Mike. You know what he said to me when he discovered I was a bottom? That maybe I should do that somewhere else. Take care of that need on a night out in Portland. Because, you know, this somehow reflects on him,” he said and suddenly dove his hand into the bowl of worms. He popped two into his mouth and chewed.
Shadow instantly went tense, watching Gray’s reaction, but he just swallowed the food and stared at the wall. “By ‘bottom’ you mean taking me into your body? That’s a problem? Is that why you were so angry when I talked about this with other people?”
Gray chewed on the inside of his cheek. He made an offhand comment about the worms not being all that bad, but it was clearly just his way of giving himself more time to think. “Yes. Because a real man should be in control. Taking another guy’s dick is submission, and men aren’t supposed to submit. It’s kinda convoluted. To an outsider, the club might seem like a paradise for a gay man like me. The Kings of Hell are technically all about freedom, so the guys can fuck anyone they want, and no one’s gonna judge them. But I wanted to bottom, and that crossed an unspoken line. Things have changed a bit since then, but that uneasy feeling is still ingrained in me. What if a former lover reveals private information about me? What if an enemy saw us as weak because of me, and it became a problem for my brothers?”
Shadow listened and took it all in, no matter how incredulous it sounded. If Gray was saying it, it was true. Still, he found it hard to comprehend that people would willingly impose so many unnecessary rules on each other. Then again, in a world where communication and understanding weren’t a given, perhaps keeping secrets and creating false realities offered benefits that couldn’t have been possible on the Other Side.
“I will never try to change you.”
Gray’s face became radiant, and he grabbed more worms out of the bowl before offering them to Shadow. “I know. If you didn’t start hating me after I locked you in the basement, I don’t think there’s anything that could change your mind about me.”
Shadow smiled and ate from Gray’s hand. “If I am to stay, though… will you help me fit in? Maybe not like in those videos I’ve seen, but I don’t want others to laugh at me. At first I didn’t mind, but now I see how it’s actually unpleasant. For some reason, laughing and smiling can be two very different things, but humans are like that. They like to make their lives more complicated.”
Gray kissed Shadow on the mouth while gently cupping his face. “Of course. I won’t let anything bad happen to you. And I will teach you about anything you want to know.”
Shadow leaned in and shut his eyes, savoring the scent of Gray’s flesh. “Would you teach me how to ride a bike? All of the Kings of Hell love it so much, and I want to be a part of that. I know you might not understand, but I still miss being a part of something bigger than just me.”
Gray didn’t chastise him or laugh at Shadow’s idea. He cleaned himself up and ate some more worms out of Shadow’s bowl, though Shadow guessed it was only meant for his benefit, as Gray soon returned to the fruit.
“Of course.”
Gray was about to get up when his phone beeped, and he exhaled, glancing at Shadow with a weak smile. He picked up the call and briefly explained that he was indeed perfectly fine. The voice, while muted, sounded very much like Rev, and Shadow was sorry that Gray had to talk to him so soon after the conversation they’d just had.
Gray soon hung up and sighed.
“They’ll be here tonight.”
Chapter 24
“Dear Shadow,
It has been a while since we talked, yet I have not stopped thinking about what you have said about souls. It took me some time, a few sleepless nights, and endless conversations with Beast, but I have come to the conclusion that you were right, and I was wrong. As you can imagine, it is not easy for a man to swallow his pride and admit that, but it is the only way to move forward.
I apologize for the dismissive way I have treated you and your worries about the very core of your existence among people. Maybe my soul and your shadow differ, but they both keep our beating hearts alive, and without either, we are flesh and bone without merit.
Hence, I have decided that I will no longer consider you a creature of Baal’s but your own being, as close to a human as one can be, even if you live without a soul like mine. I would like to think of us as different but equal, and once you come home, I do not wish for any bad blood to remain between us.
As I have learned throughout the last year, there are still many things in the world beyond our understanding, and your presence in itself has taught me to not judge so hastily.
Sincerely,
Laurent Mercier”
Shadow had read the letter over a dozen times in the past three days, each time happier about its contents. He’d been sure that the one person who would never accept him was Laurent, and yet, he’d been able to change even that stubborn man’s mind. If that was possible, anything was.
Stealing the Pigeon Heart—possible.
Convincing Rev that he would make his son happy—definitely so.
And most important of all, staying with Gray after the next new moon—within his grasp as long as he did his job right tonight.
“He’s on your bike again,” Joker said, taking Shadow’s focus off the letter.
They were so close to the Pigeon Heart now that when the wind blew from the right direction, Shadow could feel its aroma at the back of his nose. With the daylight slowly dying, the lights of Lowe Estate came on, making it more visible from the hilltop where the Kings of Hell had gathered in a thatch of trees.
Gray looked up from above the sandwich he was eating. “I know.”
Joker’s lips quirked, as if that hadn’t been the answer he’d expected. “You’ll let him wear your cut next?
Gray’s gaze met Shadow’s, and he exhaled, watching the other men present while he chewed his food. He only spoke once he swallowed what he had in his mouth. “No.”
Knight, who stretched out his legs in the grass, resting before the job, shrugged. “I have nothing against Shadow, you know that, but I wouldn’t let Elliot ride my bike the way you let him back at Magpie’s.”
“I wouldn’t let Elliot ride my bike either.”
Joker snorted. “Yeah, that boy has a death wish behind the wheel.”
Knight scowled, his shoulders tensing. “Does he?”
Gray swallowed another bite of food. “In any case, the cut is only for members, but my bike’s mine, and if I say Shadow can ride it, then he can.”
Shadow smiled and tucked Laurent’s letter into an inner pocket of his jacket. “I need to learn for the future.”
Beast shook his head, standing with his back to them and staring into the darkening sky. “Why? You wanna prospect?”
Gray had told Shadow a lot about the club, its hierarchy and history. Since some of the details he’d mentioned were technically a secret, Shadow was navigating a minefield whenever he was around the other Kings, trying not to accidentally reveal that he knew about things he shouldn’t.
It had been almost four days since the club members who would take part in the heist had arrived in NYC, and he noticed a change in their behavior toward him since Gray acknowledged the nature of their relationship.
The recognition had Shadow hungry for more. Maybe with time, the men Gray called brothers could become Shadow’s family too?
“Yes, I would like to prospect for the Kings of Hell.” Shadow straightened up on the bike but wasn’t sure what to make of the silence that followed.
Beast turned around slowly. He didn’t have eyebrows, but the skin on his forehead wrinkled in a way that suggested surprise.
Jake was the one to speak first. “It’s a huge commitment, you can’t just say that if you don’t mean it.”
Vars put his hand on Jake’s shoulder, frowning at Shadow. “That’s right, Jake here waited years for his chance to become a member.”
“Just think about it. He would be an asset,” Gray said and smiled at Shadow, licking his fingers clean once he finished the sandwich.
“We will see how you do tonight,” Beast said, which was another little change, because not that long ago he used to rather discuss Shadow with others than speak to him directly. “If we agreed to this, you would be a hangaround first so that you could see if this is what you want to get into.”
Joker laughed. “What other future does he have? It’s not like he has any life skills.”
Gray stood, brushing dirt off his jeans. “He can rip people’s heads off and remain unseen. What special skills do you have?” he asked, casually returning to Shadow’s side.
Jake snorted. “Buuurn.”
Joker rolled his eyes. “I can make a mean chilli.”
It was meant as a witty comeback, but Shadow could sense Joker’s discomfort. He put his arms around Gray and rested his chin on his shoulder with a happy sigh. “Don’t worry, Joker, you’re still young.”
Instead of accepting that compliment, Joker scowled and started walking their way with his arms spread. “Are you fucking kidding me? If you wanna prospect, learn about respecting the patched members first, you six-week-old adult!”
Vars grabbed Joker and pulled on his arm. “Chill, brother, we’ve got more important things to deal with tonight. This spat can wait until our world isn’t at risk of burning to a crisp.”
Joker gave Vars a half-hearted shove. “Just saying that Gray is more of a cradle-snatcher than his dad.”
Gray’s lips thinned, but he didn’t say anything. At least Rev wasn’t around to hear this.
“I think we should get going,” Beast said eventually, and Shadow realized that he was right. Unlike humans, Shadow could perfectly see in the dark, but the colors around them changed, and despite the still-bright hue of the sky, their surroundings had dimmed.
Knight rose and stretched before approaching his bike. “Okay, I’ll be on the move. Wait for my signal,” he said, putting on his helmet.
Three days ago, Knight had approached a young woman who worked at the property. In the casual setting of the bar, he managed to charm her despite a disguise that involved a fake beard. After hours of flirting, Knight had convinced her that he was an electrician in need of a job, which ended up with her offering him one. There were some little niggles with the wiring at the Lowe Estate, and Knight dealt with those like any other professional. Except that he also made sure to have a look at the monitoring system and had discreetly corrupted the standby power system. The generator and batteries were only intended for emergency use, so no one would notice anything amiss for as long as normal power supply continued.
He would now cut off the property from outside sources of electricity, and that would give them at least fifteen minutes, maybe half-an-hour before anyone became too worried about what would seem like a case of power outage.
The plan was simple enough. Once the electricity was off, Jake would create a diversion, so that Shadow could get the Pigeon Heart out of the safe without being noticed. But since Shadow couldn’t leave his body too far behind and the property was so vast, someone needed to take care of his physical form within its bounds.
Joker was to remain on the lookout for police and other threats, and as soon as Knight rode off to the transmission tower, which supplied the energy to the Lowe Estate, everyone else donned their ski masks and gloves, and descended toward the property. Shadow had the ability of being able to see in the dark, so he walked first, leading all the others to the fence they needed to cross.
Fragrant wind tousled Shadow’s hair and snuck under his clothes, stabbing him with chill, but Gray’s hand on his back provided enough warmth for him to ignore the discomfort and continue leading the march downhill. Shadow evaded large obstructions with ease, and while at one point Vars ended up stumbling over some rock, they reached the wall surrounding the estate fairly quickly.
This wasn’t the first time Shadow got to see Jake transforming into a gargoyle, but watching the darkness emerge out of him and form a thick skin of rock hard muscle was still impressive. Like a moth emerging from its cocoon, the gargoyle spread his wings, towering over them and shaking his head as if he needed to adjust to his form.
Vars patted Jake’s arm and smiled. “Good boy. Getting easier every time, huh?”
Jake let out a raspy laugh and licked the outstretched hand. Moments later, Vars’s cell phone buzzed, and he discreetly checked the message, so that the screen wasn’t visible in the dark.
“It’s Knight,” he said, and in the same moment, the darkness around them became even dimmer when the lights that created a pale glow on the sky above the Lowe Estate went out as planned.
“Let’s go,” Beast said and patted Shadow on the back, which was so surprising Shadow forgot what he was doing for a moment. He had one of Jake’s massive arms wrapping around his waist to remind him.
Jake grabbed Beast with his other arm, while Gray crawled on Jake’s back and held on to the twisted horns on the gargoyle’s head.
“Remember what we practiced, Jake. Think about the wind and keep yourself steady,” Vars said and patted Jake’s side, but there was little time for encouragement and well-wishing. Nobody could guarantee how long the power would remain off, so there was no time to waste.
The giant wings flapped, ballooning with air, and then Shadow felt himself being torn away from the ground. He took a deep breath, suddenly aware that his earthly life, which he was ready to fight for, was hanging by a thread. That if Jake made a mistake and dropped him, his body wouldn’t survive the fall.
But there was nothing he could do. He took a rapid gulp of air when a sudden gust of the wind pushed Jake lower, bringing Shadow’s legs that bit closer to the tangles of razor wire on top of the tall fence. Beast’s weight must have been greater than his, leaving the flight even less balanced, so Shadow did the only thing he could and curled his knees to his chest as they floated above the sharp teeth of the wire. But despite his shoes missing the trap by mere inches, all he could think of was Gray having to balance on top of the gargoyle as they started a rapid descent toward the other side of the wall.
The second Jake planted his feet on the ground with a dull thud, the momentum made Shadow fall over, face first into the wet grass, but there was no time to ponder his aching nose when Gray patted his back and urged him to lead the way through the gardens.
Jake created wind with his webbed wings, and flew off to create a diversion, but in a time when cell phones could be used to inform the outside world of any problems, the power outage would only last so long.
The vast grounds were like a dark lake, dotted by a handful of bright spots that betrayed the locations they should avoid. Knowing they would be sitting ducks on the golf course, Shadow made his way between bushes and trees on the border between the grassy landscape and gardens.
The sky was cloudy tonight, which kept excessive moonlight at bay, but they still tried to hide between the plants and decorative sculptures whenever possible. Their task remained easy for the first few moments, because there were so many trees in this part of the property, but once the relatively wild woodland made way for structured bushes and flowerbeds, more caution was needed.
They were about to cross a broad alley between a collection of sculpted plants and a fountain when Gray pulled Shadow back behind the shrubbery.
The sound of tyres scratching against gravel became so obvious Shadow swore at himself that he’d been so intent on looking around that he forgot to listen.
Crouched next to Beast, Shadow’s whole body burned with heat. Only now, on the property that held the ruby, the whole idea of the heist became reality. This wasn’t a game. If they managed to get the Pigeon Heart, the door to a future with Gray would open for him. Tonight would only be a step toward that door, but even that was so much better than sitting on their asses and waiting for the next new moon to come.
The man in a small golf cart passed them at an agonizingly slow pace, directing a bright ray from his flashlight from one side of the alley to the other.
“Yeah, the generator’s fucked. I’ll go and have a look, but I’m no professional. If he wants it working, he should have had it checked every few months,” the man in the cart complained to someone over a phone-like device built into the vehicle. He started yet another sentence, but broke off, stopping the cart. “Ripped off… What do you mean ripped out the tree? What the hell is going on there?” he asked when a round of gunfire echoed in the distance.
Gray slid from behind Shadow’s back before he could be stopped and approached the cart—the single source of light—barely making any noise. In one hand he held the same kind of dart he’d used on the train, and before the guard could even spot him, the needle sank into his flesh. The briefest struggle followed, and then—silence.
Beast helped Gray drag the man out of the cart. They left him in the bushes, and waved at Shadow to join them in the vehicle.
A male voice crackled from the small handset on the console. “The fuck is this thing?” Gray turned the device off before Shadow could get seriously nervous about the other guards noticing something was amiss with their colleague. The gunfire continued, and Shadow couldn’t help but wonder if the gargoyle was bulletproof like him.
“Jake will be okay,” Beast said and sat in the driver’s seat of the cart. His shoulders were so wide Gray didn’t even try to join him in the front and moved to rest alongside Shadow instead.
Gray’s gloved hand rested on Shadow’s, and he smiled from behind the mask, as if sensing the apprehension Shadow was trying to hide. So many things could go wrong, but Shadow needed to trust his lover’s judgment if they were to stay together past the deadline imposed on his life by Baal.
The cart wasn’t the fastest mode of transport in Shadow’s experience—it moved at a snail’s pace when compared to Gray’s bike—but they no longer looked like intruders sneaking through the gardens and could use the broad lanes on their way to Lowe’s house. The cart drove past several smaller buildings, some of which resembled tiny cottages, but when they neared the main building, where small lights could be seen through the windows, Gray squeezed Shadow’s hand.
