Grays shadow, p.33
Gray's Shadow, page 33
part #4 of Kings of Hell MC Series
“You piece of shit. You take your hands away from my son. If you don’t, I swear I’m going to personally cut off your dick and feed it to you!”
Shadow crossed his legs with a frown. He’d grown to understand why a dick was such a private matter to humans, and he liked it where it was. “Err, I… I’m not doing anything bad. I’m taking care of his body while he sleeps.”
Rev took a raspy breath. “Look, you fucking idiot, he is only interested in you because he’s lonely. You know yourself that you’re not a real man.”
All of Shadow’s good mood drizzled to the carpet. If he were talking to Rev face to face, he might have been unable to hold back from lashing out, but he was left squeezing the phone. “We have a connection you cannot understand. I may not have had a childhood, or a family, but I am a real human man.”
Rev laughed. “Sure, sure. You’re five weeks old. A real human. Give me a break. You will never understand how to be human because you didn’t live like one. You are a monster, and if you must know, you give everyone the creeps. You’re just a toy to him. A way to pass the time before he meets a real man, not some pussy who fucking draws butterflies with chalk like a little girl! Or cries when he’s upset.”
Shadow sank in the armchair as he looked back at Gray’s serene face with a growing tightness in his throat. He hadn’t drawn butterflies. They were moths. Was there really something wrong with him?
“I’m human enough!” he growled and hung up, too frustrated to talk anymore since Rev never had anything nice to say to him anyway.
“I’m human enough…” he whispered to himself, even though the longer he thought about this the less he believed his own words. The bikers often laughed at things he did, and even Gray had warned him about talking about his troubles with coming. Would he never really be what Gray needed? If he and Gray were to be together for so much longer than just a month, would Gray see the cracks in Shadow’s facade sooner or later? How would Shadow ever live up to be the ‘real man’ Gray needed if he didn’t know what that entailed?
He pressed a button on the remote the way Magpie had showed him and said, “How to be a real man?”
The screen popped up with dozens of videos to choose from. There. He would learn.
The first video featured two brothers, both of whom had Beast’s physique. Many of the things he learned from the film were unclear and suggested that men have somehow changed for the worse over time. The authors then suggested a video presenting the female perspective on the same topic, and Shadow followed their advice, watching that one next.
The videos were an instructive rabbit hole into which Shadow fell for hours, and the longer he watched, the more he feared that Rev might actually be right about him. He’d been doing things wrong all along. Gray had been kind enough not to point it out most times, but the truth was right there on the screen.
Shadow did not qualify as a modern man.
But with the advice from these strangers, he would learn.
*
Shadow recognized that Gray was waking up from the way his fingers stirred under the blanket. He instantly stopped practicing his new gait and climbed on the bed, leaning over Gray with a sense of anticipation burning inside him. Finally, after five days of constant sleep, his lover was back to meet the new improved Shadow .The heartbeat was no longer sluggish, and when Shadow moved higher up his lover’s body, he could even sense Gray’s breath coming more rapidly.
And then, Gray’s eyes opened, revealing the most beautiful color there was—two twin ponds of green and brown, with a black island in the middle, which shrunk slightly as the eyelids moved up, uncovering more of the eyes.
Shadow stroked Gray’s arm and wanted to smile, but then remembered that men with brooding expressions were considered more attractive, so he just nodded.
“Feeling better?”
Gray blinked, his brows gathering into a slight frown as he took in the bedroom before settling his gaze on Shadow. “Hey… is everything okay?”
“Yes, I’ve been taking your calls, and all is being taken care of. Your wound’s been healing nicely.” He leaned down and gave Gray a kiss.
Gray’s fingers rubbed Shadow’s side. “Wow, are you my new personal assistant? How long have I been out?”
“Almost five days now. We’ve arranged that you would call the club once you’re up. I’ve been putting salve on your wound, but I’ve restrained myself from touching you inappropriately.” Because he was a good man, and good men didn’t take advantage of someone who was unconscious.
Gray’s brows lowered over his eyes. “Err… I sure hope so. Why do you feel the need to inform me about this?” he asked and slowly rose into a sitting position, pushing hair away from his eyes.
Shadow’s shoulders slumped. He wanted to communicate that he’d been treating Gray with respect, but going by Gray’s expression, it was better to shut up about it. “Just thought you’d want to know.” He stroked Gray’s hip, relieved to see his lover moving again.
Gray cleared his throat and reached for the bottle of water standing on the bedside table. “Why—Jesus Christ, what is this place?” he asked, staring at the cascade of artificial flowers descending down the wall.
“You don’t remember? I brought you here. It’s one of Mr. Magpie’s rooms in his building.”
Shadow ran his fingers over Gray’s slightly greasy hair. Even like this he seemed so perfect Shadow could eat him up and suck the marrow out of his bones.
Gray chuckled and leaned into him with a soft smile. “I should have assumed as much. That man has a really strange taste. This place looks like tunnel of love.”
Shadow nuzzled Gray’s cheek, eager to give him a hug. “What’s that? I like the sound of it.”
Gray stretched and, after the briefest hug, slid out of bed and lazily made his way toward the tub. “It’s a carnival ride for couples.”
“We should do that. Because we’re a couple. Right? We are a couple?”
Shadow followed him all the way to the swan-shaped tub, eager to see Gray naked, and just as he’d hoped, Gray turned on the water.
He looked back at Shadow, letting his hand linger on the porcelain wing of the swan. “It could be fun, yeah. As long as you promise not to tell the guys,” he said before pulling off his T-shirt.
The wound had already closed, and only a raised, discolored scar remained of the injury that had given Shadow such a fright five days ago.
“Because it will be private?” Shadow stroked Gray’s shoulders, all too eager for connection after days of forced separation. All he needed to do, according to the advice he’d watched, was act confident.
Gray smirked as he took off his remaining clothes. “Yes. They wouldn’t get it.”
“Did you dream about me?” Shadow pulled Gray into an embrace, but Gray gently pushed back and got into the tub instead. Since when was a swan more interesting than him?
A smirk quirked Gray’s lips as he sat in the shallow water and took hold of the showerhead. “Maybe…”
Shadow’s instinct was to follow, to touch, to kiss, but apparently it could put off a lover if a man ‘tried too hard’, so he leaned against the side of the tub instead, just taking in all of the beauty in front of him.
“You did.”
“I did. And in those dreams, I might have touched you too,” Gray said in a playful tone before dousing his hair with warm water. The stream foamed up as it dripped down his arms and muscular chest, spraying off the perky nipples.
Excitement was always an undercurrent in Shadow’s body when he was around Gray, but it was heating up as quickly as the water inside the tub. He ran his hand over Gray’s strong thigh, already dreaming of lying between Gray’s legs, with his cock deep inside that beloved body.
“Does nothing hurt anymore? We could make those dreams a reality very soon.”
Gray splashed water at him and laughed, pouring shampoo on his head. “I’m too weak now. Must. Eat. First.”
Shadow stalled, thrown off his game. It didn’t feel natural to force the issue, but then again he’d listened to a lot of advice about being persistent.
“Are you sure it can’t wait?” Shadow slid his fingers between Gray’s legs, gasping when the flesh twitched under his touch.
Gray chuckled, massaging the red gel into his hair until it turned into thick foam. “I haven’t eaten in days. I feel like my stomach is the size of a peanut.”
Shadow sighed and backed off, but then straightened up when he realized there were other ways to prove his masculinity. “Would you like to have dinner with me?”
Gray’s eyes glinted. “Sure. We’re in the middle of Manhattan. Plenty to choose from. Maybe we could go to this cronut place for dessert. I want to try something fancy.”
Shadow made a broad gesture with his hand. “Anything you like. I can afford it.”
Gray poured water down the back of his head, washing the soap out. “Oh… don’t worry. I have cash.”
Shadow frowned. Would nothing go according to plan? Was Gray trying to undermine Shadow’s masculinity in a way some of the videos warned? “No, I will pay. I want to treat you.”
Gray looked at him from behind a curtain of wet hair. “Um… that’s nice of you, but you don’t have money.”
“I do.” He’d made sure to prepare for this in advance.
Gray was quick with washing the rest of his body, his attention clearly focused on Shadow. “Where is the money from? You don’t work.”
Shadow crossed his arms. “Here and there. Don’t worry your pretty head about it.”
The showerhead almost dropped from Gray’s hand. He frowned at Shadow, but it wasn’t clear if it was a good or bad frown. “What did you say?”
Shadow sensed the apprehension hanging in the air, so he treaded carefully. “That I will take care of you. Like a real man. With money.”
Gray switched off the water and rose in the tub, facing Shadow in all his naked glory. “I have my own money. It doesn’t really matter.”
Shadow pursed his lips. He’d been living off Gray’s resources for over a month, so no wonder Rev considered Shadow an inappropriate partner for his son.
“Why don’t you just let me treat you? They’ve got a restaurant in this building. With steak. And you like steak.”
Gray stepped out of the tub and grabbed a fluffy towel from a copper stand. “Oh. I thought we could use this opportunity and go to that bug restaurant, since we don’t have those in Brecon. Wouldn’t you rather do that?”
Of course he would. But Gray had been disgusted with the idea of eating insects. Second by second, distress grew in Shadow’s body like blood-red strawberries in the sun. “I want it to be nice for you.”
Gray wrapped the towel around his hips, hiding his beautiful buttocks and cock. His hair seemed longer when wet, and it clung to his skin in a way that made Shadow wish he could replace it with his tongue. “I want it to be nice for you too. You’ve taken care of me for five days. I think you deserve a treat.” He cleared his throat and put his hands on Shadow’s shoulders, squeezing gently. “So how did you get cash? Did Magpie offer you a gig?”
“N-no. I found it.”
“Where?”
“In people’s wallets.”
Gray licked his lips, but not in a sexy way. He looked worried, and once again, Shadow didn’t know what it was that he’d done wrong.
“We’re guests here. You can’t steal from friends!”
Shadow raised his arms. “But they had lots of it! I’m trying to be the kind of man you need. Why are you not letting me?”
Gray pressed his lips tightly together before suddenly meeting Shadow’s gaze and stepping into his personal space. “What kind of man do I need then?”
Shadow stood his ground, but his stomach twisted with panic. He wouldn’t be punished, would he? “A… real man,” he mumbled in the end.
“I heard you. What do you think that means?”
How was he supposed to explain it when he was still only grasping the concept himself? “You’re the human, you should know.” A real man didn’t show weakness.
Gray stepped back, which set off in alarm inside Shadow. “Did something happen? You’re not acting like yourself. Where did all this come from?”
All Shadow wanted from Gray now was a hug, but he had to show that he wasn’t affected. So he crossed his arms, bracing himself against any outside force. “Your father thinks I don’t live up to human standards. But he’s wrong. I know what I’m doing. Just because I’ve only been here for five weeks doesn’t mean I’m less of a man than everyone else.”
Gray stared at him, his expression going softer by the minute. “I’m sorry,” he said before stepping forward and tightly enfolding Shadow in his arms.
Shadow stilled at first, but then couldn’t help himself anymore and hugged Gray back. “What for?”
Gray exhaled and rubbed Shadow’s arms in gentle strokes. He remained silent for a while, then turned his head to press a kiss to Shadow’s jaw and spoke. “You don’t have to listen to him or anybody else. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
The tension in Shadow’s stomach began to melt as if the kiss was the first warmth of Spring. “I want to try to be the best person for you, but it’s hard, because humans seem to have rules for everything. I’ve watched so many videos about it, but it’s still confusing. I’m trying, but it might take time until I’m any good at it, okay?”
Gray pulled back, his eyes shut, hands resting on Shadow’s chest. “Why would you do that? I wouldn’t get this close with just anyone, but I wanted to with you. Isn’t that enough for you? Why would the opinion of other people matter anyway?”
His words hit harder than Shadow expected, so he hugged Gray tightly. “Because I don’t want to lose you. He was so mean to me, and I’ve had all this time to think and panic while you slept. And here I am, whining, when that’s one of the things a man shouldn’t do.”
Gray let out a long exhale and cuddled Shadow even more firmly, pulling him to his warm, naked flesh. “I like you the way you are. I did even before we shared blood, okay? You’re not like most men around me. And I like that.”
Shadow took a deep breath, sliding his hands over Gray’s back. Nothing calmed him down as much as the skin-to-skin touch. “Thank you.”
Gray’s breath tickled his ear, so warm and tempting, like information about the inner body heat of his lover. Gray’s smooth hand moved up and down his jaw, gently massaging the sensitive skin until the touch made Shadow incredibly receptive.
They stood so close now he could sense the tiniest shift of scent on Gray’s neck and shoulder, and it was becoming sweeter, muskier.
“Soo… how hungry are you?” Shadow murmured, unable to take his hands off the human who understood him so well. “There’s some fruit, and some things in the fridge.” He still didn’t mention the crispy worms because it had been a turn-off for Gray every time the topic of delicious bugs came up.
Gray sniggered and clasped his hands on Shadow’s hips, getting to his toes to bump his nose next to Shadow’s. “I could maybe have a little snack in bed now and eat more later. What do you think?”
Shadow was quick to steal a kiss, but then slid his hands all the way down to Gray’s buttocks. “Yes. In bed. I will bring everything.”
Gray smiled at him and rubbed his face against Shadow’s chest. “Mm, I love how you smell. Be quick,” he said before stepping back toward the huge bed.
Shadow could only have moved quicker if he’d left the human body behind, but there was no need to be that fast. Or was there? The sooner Gray was fed, the sooner they would have sex.
Shadow got to the fridge, pulled all the food he could grab onto a tray, and took a bowl of fruit with his third hand on the way back to the bed. “I’ve got bananas. You love those, right?” He smiled, relieved to see Gray healthy and awake. His whole world revolved around this man, and he loved every second of it.
Gray snorted and reached for the penis-shaped fruit with a naughty glint in his eyes. There was something about the way he opened the skin while looking straight at Shadow that made the air feel dense even in the huge room. Shadow didn’t waste time and started undressing.
“You haven’t yet seen how much I like them.”
Shadow stopped breathing altogether when he sat on the bed opposite Gray once he was naked. He wouldn’t dare blink, mesmerized by how relaxed and comfortable Gray was when they were alone.
Gray put the tip of the banana against his lovely, pink lips, and Shadow couldn’t help but reimagine the fruit as his own cock. “Do you promise to stop with this ‘real man’ nonsense, then?”
Shadow nodded, already stroking Gray’s knee, but it was when the banana disappeared into Gray’s mouth that Shadow’s excitement skyrocketed, and his cock twitched.
Time and time again, Gray slid the fruit in and out of his mouth, never taking his eyes off Shadow. When the banana poked at Gray’s cheek from the inside, Shadow let out a needy whimper.
Gray chuckled and finally bit off a chunk of the fruit and chewed on it while opening the towel with his free hand. Shadow had seen his cock rising underneath it earlier, but now that it was free, it stood up in a pretty arch.
“Come here. We can both take care of each other,” Gray said, tapping Shadow’s knee with his toes.
“You don’t need to eat more? You sure?” Shadow grabbed a jar of peanut butter since he’d seen Gray eat it before, but he was quick to lean forward and cover Gray with his body. He pushed Gray to his back and when they kissed, for once, the aftertaste of the banana didn’t bother him at all. Maybe anything eaten off Gray would be tasty?
Gray chuckled and looped his legs behind Shadow’s. “Maybe you’re right. I’m sure you don’t want me dropping dead from exhaustion,” Gray said, unscrewing the jar.
“Don’t say that!” Shadow pressed his face into Gray’s neck, sighing with relief at the taste of warm, fragrant skin that still smelled a bit of soap. He rocked his hips against Gray, and the joy of their cocks sliding together was better than getting a hot bath in the dark while eating cockroach wings.
