Grays shadow, p.26
Gray's Shadow, page 26
part #4 of Kings of Hell MC Series
“Wait here,” Shadow said and slipped away from Gray.
Gray instinctively reached out after him but ended up staying where he was while he searched for movement in darkness so thick it made him imagine things he couldn’t possibly hear. Like the quiet breathing coming from under his feet, or the whisper of branches growing at a noticeable speed against the backdrop of the town.
A flash of light made Gray flinch. He reached for his gun but ended up with his hand on the holster, staring at Shadow’s face lit by a warm glow.
“Ta-dah!” Shadow said with a big grin.
It took Gray a couple of seconds to understand what he was looking at. The tar-black tree was growing out its branches so symmetrically it might have served as a company logo, but now its lower limbs were draped in yellow fairy lights. Just inches from the trunk was a blanket covered with pillows, and a large basket stood next to it, along with a wine bottle and glasses.
Gray stepped closer, unsure if he wasn’t hallucinating. The tunnel vision from before slowly dispersed, giving way to the colorful image of a perfect picnic. Photos of him and Shadow were clipped to the fairy lights. Just five, most likely all they’d taken together. None of the pictures were particularly romantic either, since whatever they were doing wasn’t a relationship, but in this whimsical setting, they made Gray’s heart melt. Even the one where Gray was pictured scolding Shadow for breaking his cup.
Shadow took off his jacket, and it seemed like a good idea since the tree emitted so much warmth. For all Gray knew, the plant might have been radioactive, but in the glow of the fairy lights, standing across from Shadow, he could forget that they’ve come here so that Shadow could offer Baal a chunk of his life force.
Darkness was already spreading through the murky waters of Gray’s mind, but Shadow wouldn’t stop smiling, as if the purpose of their visit didn’t bother him at all. “It’s our anniversary. One month since we met. Isn’t this rustic?”
Gray’s heart thudded in his chest like a drum meant to tell him something he’d been trying to ignore. But how could he continue sulking when Shadow was here, so eager to make every moment special?
Gentle, thoughtful in his own way, and so unselfish it broke Gray’s heart at times. It was so easy to open up to him, because Shadow didn’t grow up with the trappings society created. His mind was pure and he did what felt right.
“I… uh, I didn’t expect this,” he whispered, rubbing his right arm with the black hand.
Shadow walked up to him and put his arm around Gray’s shoulders, bringing with him the pleasantly warm scent he always exuded. “Because it’s a surprise.”
It wasn’t the first time Shadow’s imposing posture made Gray feel small, but in the light of the tiny lamps attached to the tree that was to feed on Shadow tonight, Gray felt it all the more intensely. Nobody had ever surprised him with something so cheesy. It was a scene straight out of a romantic movie, which must’ve been where Shadow had gotten the idea.
He chuckled, desperate to disperse the sudden pressure in his throat. “So you’re still after my ass.”
Shadow blinked and stepped away, his mouth slack. “I just… I want to get to know you.”
The grin melted from Gray’s face. “I’m sorry. It was just a joke. This whole thing makes me nervous,” he said, gesturing at the black tree Shadow had decorated as if it were a gazebo.
“Oh. I’m sorry. I thought it was a good spot. Very private.”
Facing Gray, Shadow couldn’t see the black branches stirring to life. At first, Gray thought his eyes deceived him, then that perhaps it was the wind, but he knew what was coming when the tree let out a searing screech and bent toward them as if it had a joint in the middle of its trunk.
He knew what was coming, and he desperately didn’t want it to happen.
He gasped, stepping closer and grabbing Shadow’s warm hand. “No. No, it’s just the tree. It’s like it’s about to bleed you,” he choked out, struggling to keep still when naked branches touched Shadow’s head like the fingers of a witch.
Shadow’s lips tightened only slightly, and he locked his gaze with Gray’s, taking a slow, deep breath. The wooden limb that tightened its grip on his head, neck and shoulders, was draped with the fairy lights, which now cast their warm glow on Shadow’s features and hair. It was a surreal image somewhere between beauty and horror. At once, Shadow’s Adam’s apple bobbed, and he rose to his toes, shoulders squaring, fingers curling into claws. His veins bulged, creating thick lines on his uncovered forearms, neck, and forehead, as if his blood pressure had suddenly risen.
“It’s okay,” Shadow said despite his voice sounding as tight as his muscles seemed to be. “Just close your eyes. It will be over soon,” he said as if it was Gray who needed soothing.
But Gray wouldn’t look away. This was the reality, and he would make himself face it, no matter how painful it was.
Tiny flecks of ruby-colored light lifted from Shadow’s skin, leaving it slightly paler, almost like white marble. Gray wanted to breathe them in—not because he didn’t want the tree to have what it was due, but because he wanted to keep a little bit of Shadow with him even after he was gone. He stepped forward and held Shadow’s hands, flinching when they squeezed around his almost painfully tight.
“Does it hurt?”
“N-no,” Shadow said in a voice so strained it sounded like it might break at any moment. His fingers twitched in Gray’s grip, just before he leaned forward, as if attempting to flee the hold of the branch. His entire body shook so violently only Gray’s support saved him from falling to his knees. The tiny red slices ripped from his flesh at a rapid pace, floating into the air like a cloud of ruby dust. The lights made the particles shimmer before being absorbed by the dull blackness of the tree.
“D-don’t lie to me,” demanded Gray, swallowing the rock in his throat. He put his arms around Shadow’s trembling body and held him tightly, hating himself for being the one to expose Shadow to this horror.
And worse yet, he’d planned to push the job on Knight to save himself the discomfort of witnessing this. He was such a coward. The least he could do was be with Shadow when he needed it the most.
The last flecks of red peeling off Shadow’s skin left tiny scratches, and once they were gone, Shadow dropped to his knees so suddenly Gray couldn’t keep him upright. They both landed in the grass, hugging one another so tightly Gray thought his ribs might crack. Behind Shadow, the parasitic monster bent back into shape so rapidly the lights draped over its branches shook, making shadows dance around them in a hellish rhythm.
Gray closed his eyes and cradled Shadow close, only to realize his own body was trembling too. He should be Shadow’s rock tonight, and he wasn’t able to do even that for him.
“I’m sorry.”
Shadow took a deep breath. “It’s over.”
They stayed completely still for a while, but no matter how much Gray tried to offer Shadow all of his attention, his mind was already rattling with what awaited them in just a month. He itched for an axe in a way he had never longed for anything else. How come this beautiful, sensitive man was to be sacrificed on the altar of Baal’s plans, and he could do nothing about it? What was all his skill even worth if he couldn’t save someone so deserving?
Shadow smiled at him, but his eyes had a watered-down color that made Gray choke up all over again.
Shadow’s life had always been meant to be short. It would be gone in the blink of an eye, and yet he rarely complained and seemed so dedicated to making every moment count. He wanted to be around people and make them happy, as if he knew that only this way his existence wouldn’t end up erased from memory. He might not have been human, but why should it matter if his emotions were as intense—if not more—as everybody else’s.
Gray swallowed, barely able to look into the eyes that were no longer the intense red he’d grown to appreciate. From now on, he’d always see the proof that Shadow was to leave him soon, and that there was nothing that could be done.
Unaware of the grim nature of Gray’s thoughts, Shadow pointed to the picnic basket, still weak from the energy transfer, yet recovering fast. “Can you stay for just ten minutes? I’ve got blue cheese, and kefir.”
Fermenting and moulding food products had been an exciting discovery for him, yet most endearing was that he’d been so happy they could share some of the same foods after all.
Gray looked at the basket, then up at Shadow. He’d lost. And his brothers would be just fine without him. “No. I’ll stay,” he whispered, resting his hands on Shadow’s chest.
The bright smile was worth every ounce of embarrassment Gray would feel having to call Beast and tell him he wasn’t coming after all.
“I’m so happy.”
And if that wasn’t the purest expression of joy Gray had ever heard, he didn’t know what was. He wanted to touch it, but the phone burned in his pocket and he quickly pulled it out. A short message was enough, and he was relieved when it was back in his jeans, switched off for the evening.
It was a warm night for the time of the year, but Gray still felt little shivers running up and down his body when his gaze met Shadow’s. “Me too.”
Shadow hugged Gray tight and pulled him to the blanket. He pointed to a large bag farther away. “I even brought comforters in case it got cold.”
Death was knocking at his door, and yet here Shadow was. Smiling. Opening a bottle of wine. His long black hair wasn’t going gray from stress. He didn’t fear for the future and only cared that Gray was with him.
When Shadow had confessed that he wasn’t attracted to anyone but Gray, it seemed scary. Unnatural. But now that they faced one another, alone, under the tree that would ultimately take Shadow away, Gray couldn’t help the regret bleeding his heart.
His life had been a sequence of romantic disappointments. And now, when he met someone who’d been literally created to complement him and him only—his shadow—their relationship had no future.
“How did you manage to get all this here?”
Shadow handed Gray a glass of red wine, and Gray could only imagine which one of Nao’s Pinterest boards had given him the idea for this anniversary picnic.
“Jake helped me bring it over.” He opened the wicker basket, but then scowled, picking up a piece of paper. “No! I had a donut for you. It was heart-shaped. I can’t believe it! It was supposed to be perfect.” With a bitter scowl twisting his face, he showed Gray the familiar handwriting. “Look, Knight ate it, and left a note saying he’s sorry. I don’t care about his apology. I’ve got no donut.”
Gray watched him, lips open to the cool air. Every time he inhaled, it turned into a hot cloud inside his chest. He touched Shadow’s arm. “Don’t worry. We have enough food even without it.”
“It’s just… not something a friend should do.” Shadow stared into the basket with a deep frown.
Gray slid his arm around Shadow’s waist and pressed his cheek to his shoulder. The aroma of hair product couldn’t overpower the natural scent of Shadow’s body, which radiated heat so intense Gray found himself leaning even closer at a sudden gust of wind.
“It’s fine. It’s the thought that counts,” he whispered close to Shadow’s ear.
Shadow’s attention was instantly back on him, and he rubbed Gray’s nose with his own. “Thank you for staying.”
Gray doubted he would ever meet someone as emotionally open as Shadow. It was as if he were ready to take any blow if it allowed him to be closer to the man he wanted.
Heat curled at the pit of his stomach as the gentle touch caused little sparks to trail lower and tease Gray’s lips. He quickly took a large sip of wine to keep his mouth busy. “You’re like a wild child, you know.”
“What’s that?” Shadow smiled, and his heavy arm over Gray’s shoulders was a pleasant reminder that if he only chose to, Gray could have Shadow. He held all the cards. And yet it felt that Shadow was the one who would rattle Gray’s heart if given the opportunity.
He had more wine, but its sour taste somehow only exaggerated the pleasant scent that Shadow always carried with him. They sat so close together, their thighs touching, arms resting on one another’s bodies. It would only take one gesture to reframe this situation.
“It’s a child that’s been raised without people. Like Tarzan. You’re so… different from anyone I’ve ever met,” Gray whispered, staring into the eyes that glowed a faint red.
“In a good way? I’m really sorry about the donut.” Shadow wouldn’t even blink, focused on Gray and Gray only. When he licked his lips, it wasn’t hard to guess what had to be on his mind.
Gray hesitated, swirling the wine in the glass when his hand trembled slightly. He didn’t know what to do with it on the uneven surface, so he kept holding it even when the pull in his chest became too painful to bear.
“It’s already perfect. Stop thinking about the donut.”
Shadow pressed his forehead to Gray’s. “Okay. I’d rather think about you anyway.”
Gray swallowed hard, and his breath became shallower when he raised his face until his nose aligned with Shadow’s. Smooth long hair tickled his check. “Yeah, let’s just think about me now.”
Shadow put his drink in the grass and didn’t seem to care when it tipped over. He rested his fingers against Gray’s cheek and gently rubbed them all the way to the jaw. “Can we cuddle?”
Gray rested his face on Shadow’s pec without a word, his arms sliding around the firm body as if that was where they belonged. He would allow himself to forget about the impending future for once, and just enjoy the moment Shadow had so carefully crafted for them. There was no awkwardness or empty pauses to their conversation. Once Gray gave himself the permission to just be here, receptive to Shadow, there was nothing to draw his attention beyond the boundaries of their picnic blanket.
The menu was quite extensive, though Gray noticed that all the food was what Gray generally deemed acceptable, as if Shadow hadn’t wanted to spoil the moment with bugs crunching between his teeth. Gray appreciated his effort.
Time in Shadow’s company passed all too quickly, and the stars moved along on the sky, uncaring that Gray wanted to stop them altogether and spend the night with Shadow, without worrying about what was to come in a month’s time.
What counted was the warmth of Shadow’s arms, his scent, the excited way in which he told stories about the most menial tasks he’d accomplished. All of that combined into such divine, lazy comfort, that Gray made the decision he’d avoided for far too long.
All it took was for Gray to change the angle of his neck, and then his lips were on Shadow’s, silencing the never-ending flow of words. His mouth exploded with sensation, as if he wasn’t teasing the tip of Shadow’s tongue but dipping his in popping candy. Emotion hit Gray’s brain like a line of cocaine, leaving him somewhat lightheaded
Shadow’s fingers were soft yet confident on Gray’s skin. His big body shivered wherever their skin connected. Capable of ripping people’s heads off, yet he was putty for Gray to mold.
Gray opened his lips with a gasp, shocked by the intensity of the tremors breaking out all over his body. Did it feel the same for Shadow? He wasn’t sure if he should ask, but he let his hands roam, slowly moving his leg over Shadow’s in a way that would allow him to sit closer with ease. “I think… we should do more than cuddle,” he whispered, sliding his hand up Shadow’s throat until he was cupping the handsome face.
Shadow watched Gray intently, his eyes peeling away layers Gray forgot he had. “Like this?” He kissed Gray again, this time deepening the connection slightly, and touching parts of Gray that were far too tender to show the world.
The kiss was gentle and sweet, nothing like the frantic attempt of Shadow’s first night with Gray. He was giving Gray space, and while his desire to take things further was obvious in the little shudders shaking Shadow’s flesh and the quickened breathing, he remained cautious.
Gray moved both his hands to Shadow’s face, holding it gently as he slowly coaxed Shadow’s tongue into his mouth. They moved on the blanket, in sync despite Shadow having so little experience, and Gray didn’t even know whether it was him who pulled Shadow to lie between his thighs or if it had been Shadow who settled on top.
It didn’t matter anymore.
Shadow let out a deep grunt when he pressed his erection against Gray. Because of course, he was excited. He always was around Gray. It happened every night when they slept tangled up in each other, to the point of Gray getting almost used to it. Almost. Because he still remembered how Shadow’s cock felt on his tongue.
“Would you let me… tune in with you?” Shadow asked and squeezed the fingers of the hand he’d given to Gray. It hadn’t seemed like much at the time, since Shadow had three arms left even after offering Gray one, but having known Shadow for a month, Gray had no doubt Shadow would have given him anything.
Literally anything.
Like no one else in the world.
Gray swallowed, staring back into the red eyes. He was standing on the edge of a cliff, and this was the moment of his final decision, but how could he be reasonable about it when the view was clouded by lusty thoughts? A buzz at the back of his mind kept warning him of the dangers of crossing that barrier, but Gray no longer listened. He wanted to be here. He wanted his Shadow.
“Do you mean… sex?” he asked in the tightest whisper.
Shadow shook his head, nuzzling Gray’s cheek. “I want to deepen our connection. I want to bond, to entwine and never let go. I want to mix with you. My blood and yours.”
Gray swallowed, trying not to show his surprise too much. Was this another romantic gesture Shadow had seen in a movie? Too many episodes of Vampire Diaries?
Still, he couldn’t help excitement pulling at his most tender feelings. “Okay.”
Shadow’s wide smile made Gray’s heart skip a beat, but he was instantly taken aback when the teeth turned black, as if infused with what Shadow was made of.
