Goodbye caution, p.6
Goodbye Caution, page 6
“Oh, Becca, that’s wonderful!” Susan, a frequent, longtime guest, clasps her hands.
“Yeah. I think so.” I can’t stop grinning.
“Look at her! She’s glowing!” adds Denise, another longtimer and Susan’s best friend.
“Shit, I’d be glowing too and walking around like I’d been on a goddamn horse for a week—if you know what I mean.” Side-mouthed Shelley strikes again.
Her friend Cathy gasps and smacks her arm. “Shelley!”
“That’s okay, Cathy. Really,” I say with a laugh. And the inquisition begins.
“How long?”
I tell them we’re pretty new.
“Is he the one?”
I’m having fun finding out, I say.
“How often are you having fun finding out?” Shelley asks. “And how long does it last?” Cathy smacks her again. I bite my smile back and wave the words away.
“The details might be more than your imagination can take, Shelley.”
“I wouldn’t say that. My imagination can take a lot. So if you’re ever in the market for a new best friend to talk to about all your sexcapades with him—” she puts her hand up to her ear like it’s a phone and mouths call me.
“Shelley! How does your husband handle you?” I grin.
“He doesn’t. That’s why I was interested in your boyfriend handling me ... well, I’m still interested.” Side-mouthed. She whistles and starts fanning herself as Grayson strolls into the room, winks at me, and gives me a kiss.
“Hello, darling. Are you hens still at it in here?”
“Grayson, you can’t call my guests hens,” I hiss through my teeth.
“Sorry, I’m British,” he says to the ladies. “That usually works for an excuse,” he whispers against my ear.
“Oh my God! He’s fucking British, too? Girl, you hit the jackpot,” Shelley says.
“Honestly, Shelley!” Cathy sounds pissed now.
“Ka-ching!” I say loudly and smile up at Grayson. He laughs and kisses me again. “You know, if things don’t work out between us—” his smile disappears at my quiet words. “Shelley over there just might be the woman for you.”
“Really?” His eyebrows shoot up.
“Yes. She would love to be handled by you. She’d love to lay you out and, if she had you, she would be glowing and walking around like she’s been on a horse for an entire week!” I say with a matter-of-fact look.
“What are you two talking about over there?” Shelley asks impatiently.
“Hold on there, doll!” Grayson smiles as he looks over at her. “She’s telling me what she has planned for me tonight. I, in return, am going to explain to her all the many different ways I plan on shagging her.” He winks. “Give us a moment, love, and I’ll be over there to see who the ‘Big Boy’ in your life is!” I look away, tears in my eyes from trying the hardest I’ve ever tried not to laugh.
“You know, sweetheart, I think I was wrong. Shelley is definitely the one for me. I’m sorry. Really, I am. She’s just what I’ve been looking for. Hair dyed Raggedy-Ann red, kept short and tightly curled ... bedazzled blue track suit ... and, are those? Oh, yes! Orthopedic shoes! She must keep nothing on but those and the glasses hanging from the chain around her neck while I’m shagging her! She’ll have to be on top ... yes ... what a glorious sight to behold—her glasses slapping her liver-spotted titties as she rides me into the sunset.” That’s it. I can’t hold back anymore. The laughter explodes out and I can’t even breathe. Oh no! I’m going to pee myself!
“Excuse me!” I shout, and run to the ladies’ room.
“That’s what happens, ladies, when I talk to her about shagging—it sends her right into nervous giggles. Now, who is your “Big Boy,” Shelley?” I hear Grayson from the bathroom. I absolutely cannot remember the last time I’ve laughed this hard. Seriously, two seconds from wetting myself!
I hear the door open.
“Mom, are you okay?” Morgan asks.
“Yes, sweetie. How was your riding lesson?”
“Fine. What’s so funny?”
“Oh, Grayson made me laugh ... it was big-people stuff, so ask me again in eight years,” I add quickly.
“Oh, well, it’s good to hear you laugh like that, Mommy. I like Grayson. Can he be your boyfriend?” She sounds hopeful.
“Yes.” I flush and open the stall door. “He can and he is and I’m so glad you approve. You know, you helped me make that decision.” I wash my hands and hug her.
“Yay! When are you getting married?”
At the pace we’re going, probably tomorrow.
“Oh, honey, that’s not something to rush into.” I kiss her head. “C’mon, let’s go rescue Grayson from all of those ladies out there.” I grab her hand and open the door.
“Yeah, especially Shelley. She’s got the hots for him.” She sighs and rolls her eyes.
“Ah—there are my girls!” Grayson announces as we walk into the lounge. “Enjoy the rest of your stay, ladies.” He waves goodbye to them before stepping between us and grabbing both of our hands. My heart swells. “What would you like to do, Morgy girl?” He swings her arm wildly, making her laugh.
“There’s a new Disney movie I want to see.” She looks unsure. He lets go of my hand and pulls out his iPhone.
“What’s the name of the theater, sweetheart?” he asks, and she tells him.
Just as we cross the threshold to the store, Hazel hangs up the phone and looks up from the counter. “Becca, Claudia can’t come in today. She’s not feeling well,” she says.
“Oh, that figures!” Morgan pouts.
“What figures?” Grayson squats down as he continues to search.
“We can’t go now.”
“No, that’s not what I heard. I don’t work here. Do you work here, Morgy? Are you on the schedule?” He raises an eyebrow. “Ha! Look at that! Is this the movie?” She nods. “Good, say bye to Mum and Aunt Hazel.” He chucks her under her chin.
“Really?” Her eyes are wide with excitement.
“Mum?” He looks up at me with raised brows.
“Yes. Get your coat and go to the bathroom!” I have to yell because she’s taken off already. I turn to Grayson and wrap my arms around his neck. “Thank you,” I say, and give him a soft peck on the lips.
Morgan comes running back, clutching her coat, and pulls at Grayson’s sweater. He looks down at her, and she starts to hand him the keys to my truck—but then pulls her hand away.
“Actually, I’ll go wait in the truck while you smooch with my mother.” And with that, she runs out, leaving us to our laughter.
“I think I’m just as crazy about that kid as I am her mother,” Grayson says. He pulls me close.
“She’s crazy about you, too. Completely thrilled that we’re together. This is really nice of you to do. Thank you.”
“No ‘baby’ at the end of that?”
“Oh, I think I’ll be saying that word a lot tonight while I’m praying.” I smile mischievously.
“Huh?”
I pull his head down. “Oh God, baby,” I whisper in his ear. I wink and turn to walk away. “Shag you later, Gracie!” His eyelids were doing Morse code again.
The next three hours are typical of those at the end of a crop weekend: last-minute purchases, helping croppers pack, and loading cars. The rooms are already filled with skiers and foliage hunters. The fireplace crackles in the main hall, and we have cookies and fresh coffee and tea ready for the newbies. Dishes from lunch are done and put away, and the store is closed. Charlie should be coming in at any moment to see what I’ve cooked for dinner, and I know he’ll be happy to see his favorite: German meatballs, mashed potatoes, and creamed corn. It’s a nice, comforting Sunday supper for fall.
I’m just waiting for Grayson and Morgan to get home. Wow ... I love that, Grayson and Morgan coming home from being out together because they both wanted to be with each other. They texted earlier and said they were having a great time.
I feel like I’ve had a week to think about everything, which I guess makes sense, since Grayson and I seem to operate on dog years. Three hours is like a week to us! I really hope he knows that I meant what I said before he left. I did say it playfully, but I wouldn’t have said it if I didn’t mean it.
George was the last man I was intimate with. And most of the time, it was forced and painful. Becca, shut up! Stop thinking about that asshole! Think about Grayson—lovely Grayson. Yes, it felt amazing today ... everything, even when he had trouble stopping. I want my body to remember intimacy like that. I want to free myself from George once and for all.
“Honey—we’re home!” Grayson and Morgan shout at the same time.
“In the kitchen!” I yell back.
“Mommy!” Morgan comes running in, her arms loaded with bags.
“Morgan, what is all of this?” I’m floored at the sight of it all.
“Hi, sweetheart.” Gray follows her in and wraps me in a hug. “Don’t be mad,” he begs.
“Look, Mom!” Morgan demands my attention. I watch as she shows me a total of fifteen—I think—outfits: two dresses, hair stuff, a cowgirl hat, cowboy boots, a riding hat, riding pants, riding boots, and a charm bracelet with a heart and her birthstone (amethyst), my birthstone (aquamarine), and a garnet.
“Yours, I presume?” I arch my brow at Grayson. He looks at me sheepishly. “I just took her shopping a few weeks ago. Morgan, you shouldn’t have done this.”
“In her defense, we ran into her nemesis, Ashley,” he says, and points his nose up in the air. “She’s a terrible little brat!”
“Grayson!”
“Sorry, love, but it’s true. We went into the specialty shop for me to get a pair of riding boots and there she was, little Miss Snobby Snobbikins. She saw Morgan and baited her. ‘Oh, Daddy, you’re the best daddy in the world! Thank you for my boots, Daddy! Maybe I should give my old boots to a girl who doesn’t have a daddy. Morgan, my daddy has bought me these new boots, so I’d like to give you my old ones.’” I’m trying to hold my composure, but he’s imitating a little girl’s voice—in his British accent. “So I grabbed the clerk and brought him to Morgan and asked him to please measure my daughter’s feet for a pair of Richmond Ladies’ Field Boots. Well, Ashley’s jaw was on the floor!” He smirks.
“My boots cost a hundred dollars more than hers!” Morgan jumps up and down excitedly. Christ, those boots cost a car payment ... a three-hundred-and-fifty-dollar car payment!
“Grayson, this is not the kind of behavior I want to teach my daughter!” I snap.
“And then once we got started ... we couldn’t stop,” he adds, this time with less excitement.
“Sounds like very familiar behavior to me!”
“Mom, please don’t be mad at Daddy.”
“What?”
“Sorry. I’ve been calling him that for the past hour at the mall. I meant Grayson.” She looks down and plays with her charm bracelet.
“I just need a moment.” I head out of the kitchen and up to my room. I’ve barely sat down on my bed when Grayson walks in.
“Grayson, this is not just about you and me. Morgan’s been saying she wants you to be her father since last night. Then today you go and announce to the world that you are.” I start to cry.
“Well ... really ... only to a shop in a small New Hampshire town, not the whole world, darling.” He sits next to me and rubs my back.
“And you’ve met the biggest small mouth in this small town. Everyone will know tomorrow that Morgan has a British daddy, and when somebody calls her out on it, she’s going to feel like absolute shit!” I’m sobbing now. “What if we don’t work out? It would shatter her world, Gray.”
“We are going to work out, sweetheart. I love you. I love her, too. I’ve never felt anything like it. I took great pride in calling her my daughter today, and I loved hearing her call me ‘daddy.’ It was the most beautiful sound I’ve ever heard—though I may change my mind when I hear your ‘oh God, baby’ later.” And there it is ... I’m laughing again. “C’mon, sweetheart, don’t do this. Morgan was so excited! And she made me do something I’ve never done before.”
“What’s that—go broke?” I smirk.
“Oh, no, long time before that happens. No, I was taking a sip of my bevvie, not hurting a fly, and she asks me when we’re gonna get crackin’ on a sibling for her. Well, down the wrong pipe it went, then back up and out my nostrils—I about choked to death. I was a complete mess! And you know what she did?” I shake my head. “Exactly what you’re doing right now. She had herself a good laugh!”
I stop to lean in and kiss him.
“C’mon, let’s go help her unload her stuff in her room.” I pat him on the knee and get up. “How much do I owe you for it?” Goodbye, college fund.
“At least ten ‘oh God, baby’s. By the way, what time does Morgan go to bed?” He pulls me to him.
“Eight.” The butterflies in my belly burst into their contemporary dance piece.
“Hmm. Eight it is.” He kisses me before we head out the door.
I can hear Morgan crying to Hazel as we approach her room at the bottom of the stairs. I open her door.
“Please don’t break up with Grayson, Mommy. I’ll take everything back.” She runs to me and gives me a hug. Hazel shakes her finger at Grayson.
“I’m not breaking up with him and you don’t have to return your gifts.” I kiss her head.
“Really?”
“Really.” I wipe her tears away. “C’mon, let’s go have dinner.”
Charlie and Grayson get on great at dinner, which I can tell pleases Hazel. Afterward, I go to Morgan’s room to help her pick out a new outfit for tomorrow. The prices appall me! I scold Morgan for letting him spend so much. She gets ready for bed and says her prayers, reminding me that I will be saying my “prayers” very soon as well.
“Good night, baby. I love you.” I turn her light off.
“Wait,” Grayson says as he enters her room and turns the light back on. He gives Morgan a kiss. “Good night, little sweetheart.”
“Good night.” Pause. “Daddy,” she whispers. He kisses her again and meets me at the doorway. I turn off the light and shut her door. Grayson grabs my hand and leads me up the stairs. My knees feel like Jell-O. I’m so nervous. I’m okay. I’m okay.
“I ran your bath and brought you up a glass of wine, sweetheart.” He kisses my hand. Again, he should’ve brought me the bottle.
“Thank you.” We get into my room and Bocelli is already on. How sweet. He shows me to the bathroom, which is full of lit candles. It smells like vanilla and lavender.
“I’d like to bathe with you.” He pulls his shirt off.
“Um ... okay.” I’m so wracked with nerves. He hands me my wine, but I barely get a sip before he takes it from me and turns me around. I feel my hair fall around my face.
“Arms up,” he says into my ear, then kisses it. Up they go, along with my shirt. He rubs my shoulders and plants soft kisses on my neck. I feel my bra unclasp. His hands slip under the straps and he guides it down ‘til it falls to the floor. A jolt of electricity shoots to my groin as he runs his fingers up my forearms and shoulders, down my back, around to my stomach, and then up again to cup my breasts. His thumbs tease my nipples until they peak. I moan lightly and rest my body back against his chest. I can feel him growing behind me.
“You okay?” He sounds breathy, like he’s trying to keep his voice steady.
“Uh-huh.” That’s all I can manage. He lowers his hands to my jeans. I hear them unzip. He squats and tugs at them, and I step out. He bites lovingly at my bum before he pulls my panties down and bites me again. All Sybils are on deck, pole dancing in slutty lingerie. He stands up and turns me around.
“God, you’re beautiful,” he gasps. I bite my bottom lip and reach for his jeans. He takes a sharp breath in through his teeth as I trace my finger across the hem, then unzip and pull them down. I kiss him across his chest and tease his nipples the way he teased mine. I can hear the air rush in and out of his nose, the soft sounds escaping his throat, and feel the rapid rise and fall of his ribs. I travel down his chest and stomach with my mouth, playfully biting him along the way. “Becca.” He pulls me away from his happy trail, then grabs my hand and guides me into the tub. I submerge fully into the hot, scented water, never breaking eye contact. My eyes finally wander away from his as he unveils his manhood.
Apparently Rocco should no longer be the focus of my “Big Boy” page.
Grayson climbs in behind me. He moves my hair to one side, allowing his mouth access to my neck. I reach for my hair tie and pull my hair back up in a messy bun.
“I like it down,” he protests weakly.
“I’ll let it down when we get out. It’ll be too much to dry.” I look over my shoulder at him. He nods and offers me a shy half smile, then grabs a washcloth and soaks it. He brings it above my shoulders and wrings it out over them. I squirt some body wash on the cloth when he offers it to me, and he lathers it up and softly massages my shoulders. I close my eyes and relish in his touch, the hot bath, the candles, and the soft music in the background. Gray pulls me back to rest against his chest. He holds my right arm out, running the washcloth down the length of it. Then the left arm. He continues with my breasts and my stomach, and then he lifts my right leg up to run the cloth down it. He places my leg over his before he moves on to the left. I turn my face into his neck as he descends between my legs with it, meticulously washing—driving me mad. He ditches the cloth as he raises his right knee to part my legs more. His mouth covers mine, his tongue sliding across the slit of my lips, willing them to part. My right hand reaches up and I grab a fistful of his hair, pulling him harder to me as I allow his tongue’s intrusion. His fingers tickle the skin of my inner right thigh as they glide down it, into the water and over my sex.
“Stop,” he mutters against my mouth. His left hand grasps the inside of my left thigh to prevent my wriggling as he circles my clitoris, his fingers dancing against me. I turn my face into his neck again and bite gently, trying to keep my breath steady as his finger slides down toward my entrance. The anticipation is making me dizzy with want. I bite at his neck again and push my hips up slightly to encourage him.
