Fixing her, p.15
Fixing Her, page 15
I should say or do something, anything. He’s so close. I’m good when there are walls and space between the two of us. When he’s in his office and I’m at my desk. But this? The two of us in this tiny little room—I am so not good.
“Asher,” I moan unintentionally. The feel of his body up against mine has me dizzy with lust. His name on my lips seems to be all it takes to unleash the animal in him.
Without warning, my body is spun around. Instinctively, I wrap my arms around his neck. Before my brain can catch up with the muscle memory that seems to be leading my body into absolution, I’m clinging to him like nothing has changed between us.
I’m about to back away, attempt to clear my head from his scent, which is both intoxicating me and overwhelming me simultaneously.
“This is a bad, bad idea.”
His mouth descends on mine, taking it in a way that proves my lips belong to him alone. I’m powerless to fight my body’s desire for this man.
For several long minutes our tongues dance together. We finally break apart, both panting, when the phone at my desk starts ringing. I walk out of the kitchen, determined to answer the phone and put some much-needed space between the two of us. I don’t get more than a few steps into the waiting room when I can feel him on my heels.
“Let it ring.”
I ignore him as I make my way to my desk.
“Let it ring.” His tone is demanding, but obviously, he does not know how stubborn I can be.
“Kade Construction. How can I help—” I start with my usual greeting when the phone is quickly ripped from my hands.
“We’re closed. Holiday. Try tomorrow.” He slams the phone down.
“That was rude!”
“You’re not going to use my own business to avoid me. They’ll call back tomorrow. Now come to this side of the desk.”
I shake my head from side to side like a child refusing to eat their vegetables at dinner. This is not going to end well.
“Come here.” It’s not a suggestion.
“That’s okay, I’m good over here. I’m safe over here.”
“Safe? You don’t honestly think I’d do anything you didn’t allow me to, do you? You have to know you’re always safe with me.” The desperation in his voice is killing me.
I’m doing what’s right and I’m still hurting the one man who’s done nothing but make me feel loved and cared for. I’m falling in love with this man and I’m terrified he’ll hate me for it one day. I can’t be what he deserves and every date I’m hating myself just a little more for putting him through this inevitable pain.
“Safe from myself. My resolve is weak when you’re near. You make me want things I have no right wanting. You’re going to hate me when all this boils over. One day you’ll look back on us and wish one of us had walked away.”
“Come here.” This is not a request but a gentle demand. “I want to look directly into your eyes when I tell you what I have to say so you know I mean every word.”
Slow, cautious steps take me around my worn, light wood desk that has probably sat here in this office for the past twenty plus years. I finally arrive in front of him, but I can’t bring myself to look up into his hungry, jade eyes.
“Ahem,” he coughs, bringing me out of my head.
My gaze slowly rises from the tan carpet past his sleek, brown leather shoes and up his thick thighs covered in an expensive slate gray suit. His white button-up shirt seems to be made to cling to his large biceps and a chest Adonis would be jealous of. This is not a fair fight.
I desperately want to grab him by his blue and gray striped tie and pull his mouth back to mine. But instead, I finish my slow perusal of his body. My gaze lands on his lips, still swollen from our enthusiastic make-out session. Finally, I stop and stare at his eyes, which have a glimmer of humor in them. My cheeks burn when I realize he’s been watching me check him out.
“Do I have your full attention now?” His voice is full of humor and heat.
I nod, still staring at him, our bodies just inches apart.
“I’ll repeat myself because, somehow, it still hasn’t sunk in.” He takes a step closer so there’s virtually no space between us. “I.” He kisses my exposed collarbone. “Will.” My neck. “Never.” My earlobe. “Regret.” My Cheek. “Kissing you.” His lips land where I knew they would before I even rounded the desk.
I’m lost in our kiss. I’m at war with my mind and body.
My arms wrap around his waist and I can’t help but grab a handful of the ass I’ve been staring at for the past few weeks. I’ve wanted to feel this firm ass in my hands every time I see him walk past my desk on the way to his office.
A groan rumbles deep in his throat right before he pulls my arms up around his neck and proceeds to lift me up by my ass. My legs instinctively wrap around him, and while somewhere in my brain I register we’re walking down the short hall to his office, I’m too lost in our passionate kisses to protest.
The back of my legs meet his large oak desk and he pulls away. He loosens his tie as he makes his way to the door of his office and closes it. Not a second later, the lock clicks into place.
“Someone could come in the front.” I bring up a point I’m honestly not sure would stop me from following through with what we’ve both been wanting for weeks.
“Guys are all on site and you manage the calendar. When was the last time someone came in here without an appointment?”
I don’t respond. My heavy breathing and eager eyes are all he needs to march back over to where I’m standing and lift me until I’m sitting on top of his very well-organized desk.
In the past few weeks, I’ve made fun of him numerous times for his neat-freak tendencies. Right now, with my bare thighs on his wood desk, I’m beyond grateful he doesn’t have a million papers and knick-knacks littering it.
As if we’re both thinking about convenient things, he moans out as he slides his body between my thighs, “Thank fuck for spring weather and short dresses.”
I’m so lost in the feel of his palms running the length of my legs. They’ve resumed their position around his waist. With his hands on me, I can’t even put two words together to respond.
“When you put this little dress on this morning, did you think of how hard the sight of you in it would make me? Did you imagine me touching your exposed thighs? Did you picture my mouth leaving wet kisses along your bare neck?”
“No,” I rasp out. “We’re just supposed to be friends.”
“We can’t just be friends. I don’t want to date my friends. I don’t want to wake up next to my friends in the morning. And I definitely don’t want to know how they’d feel fully seated on my cock.”
“Fuck.” I can’t help the excitement and desperation in my voice.
“That’s the plan, babe. This should be sweet and slow and in a bed. You deserve that. But unless you tell me to stop, I don’t think I can. I need you here, now, desperately.”
His fingers are teasing the edge of my pink cotton panties. Just slowly, delicately rubbing where the elastic meets my skin. I feel a need inside me, eager to grab his hand and push it under the lace edge. I want him to feel how wet I am for him. How hot he has me.
I take my arms from around his neck to pull off the tie he already loosened. He slowly strokes just shy of where I want his fingers to continue. Staring into my eyes, he watches as I pull his shirt out of his pants and start unbuttoning it from the top down.
I’m halfway down when without warning his hand enters my panties and two fingers drive their way inside of me.
“Ahhhh,” I cry out, my eyes closing as I focus on the feel of his fingers slowly entering and exiting me.
“You’re so tight. You’re going to feel so good wrapped around my cock. So fucking good.”
His words spur me back into action. With my head buried in his neck, my fingers get back to work unbuttoning his shirt. When I reach the final one, he slowly pulls his hand out and I moan out in frustration.
It only takes a few seconds for him to let the shirt drop from his shoulders. He removes his belt before his mouth descends back on mine and his fingers return to the edge of my underwear.
Only this time, instead of sliding inside he urges me to lift. With my ass slightly off the desk, he grabs my panties and methodically pulls them down my legs.
I don’t have a second to process my bare ass on the edge of his desk before he’s unbuttoned his pants. I think he’s going to pull his cock out, but instead he drops to his knees in front of me.
My head is spinning. He’s inches from where I want him most. He looks up and for just a second, we make eye contact before he finally puts me out of my misery. Leaning forward, he takes a long, languid lick.
“Holy shit. Holy shit. Holy shit.” I can’t stop myself from panting over and over again.
“I’ve thought about how you’d taste for too long. As soon I had your mouth on mine in Pete’s, I knew it would be good. But you, you’re fucking fantastic. I could feast on you for every meal.”
Wow, Asher Kade can talk dirty. I knew he had a bit of a dirty mouth, but with each increasingly scandalous word he utters, I’m getting more and more turned on.
With long, slow strokes, he works me to the brink of orgasm. It’s excruciating. It’s fantastic. He’s teasing me, and he knows it. I’m about to pull him up and have him end this torturous pleasure when he sucks my clit into his mouth.
One gentle suck is all it takes for me to come embarrassingly fast. I throw my head back and squeeze my eyes shut as the orgasm rolls through my body.
Once the quakes stop, I open my eyes to the most amazing sight I’ve ever seen. Facing away from me, he removes his pants and places them on the chair near the desk.
I’m gifted with the vision that’s his tanned back and ass. In all its nude glory. A girl could come from this sight alone. His toned, muscled thighs and beautifully broad shoulders are almost too much for me to handle. I stare, memorizing this sight for all the lonely nights I’ll have when this ends.
It only takes a second for him to remove the rest of his clothes. When he turns back to me, I’m graced with the sight of him holding his very large and very hard cock firm in hand.
I lick my lips at the sight of his wet tip, but he has other plans. My dress is pulled over my head and my bra unclasped. I let it fall down my arms and land on the floor. I’m sitting completely naked across his giant desk. I’ve never felt sexier in my entire life.
“You’re stunning. You’ve always taken my breath away. Even back in school, when you were so innocent and shy, you were still the most gorgeous girl I’d ever seen.
“But seeing you right now, spread across my desk, open and ready for my cock, glowing from an orgasm by my mouth, you’ve never been more beautiful.”
H-O-L-Y shit. He’s slowly stroking himself. I’ve felt him in my hands, yet the full sight of him, naked and turned on, is still a wonder to me. He’s perfection.
I lean forward to kiss him and his cock brushes against my sex. I get instant tremors from his skin on mine. He’s hovering just outside of me. Nothing is keeping him from plunging deep into me.
“Stop, sorry.” I look up at him, holding himself above me, as desperate for me as I am for him. He’s just inches away from being inside me. Everything in me wants him to surge forward. “Condom?”
“Yes. Yes, I’ll be right back. There’s one in my wallet.”
I feel his absence immediately as he steps back to grab his wallet from his pants.
Self-doubt starts to sober me, pulling me out of my lust fueled daze. All I can think about are my stretch marks and the extra weight I’ve put on since getting pregnant.
I don’t even notice his return until the sound of his voice shakes me out of my insecure trance. Looking at him, I know I don’t deserve him.
“Haven’t given another woman a second glance since I first saw you come down those stairs at the Simms’,” he tells me, reading my mind as he sets the condom packet on the edge of the desk. “Hell, haven’t been with anyone since I came back home at all.”
I have no right to feel possessive over him. He’s not mine to keep. This is a giant mistake. I’m risking my job, my happiness, everything. And the worst part is, knowing he’s going to hate me when everything is over.
But when it comes to this amazing man I’m powerless to fight this intense pull we have over each other.
When he returns, he’s sheathed himself. This is really going to happen. I’m going to have sex with Asher fucking Kade.
He grabs my hips and pulls me closer to the edge of the desk. It doesn’t take but a second before he thrusts inside of me, planting himself to the root. There was no teasing, no hesitation, no slow glides in. We’re both too far gone to be patient.
Never in my twenty-six years have I felt so complete, so full. We both stay like that, frozen, just taking in this perfect feeling.
I lean back atop the desk, on my elbows. Both of us seem incapable of looking away from where we’re finally joined. His pace slows as we both take in the sight before us.
“Look at us. Look how perfect we are together.” He slowly starts to pull out. I groan in frustration.
“Fuck, you feel so fucking perfect. Nothing could ever be as good as this.” He’s sliding back into me at a torturous drawn-out pace. Too slow. “Tell me you feel this, babe. Tell me it feels this good for you, too.”
“Yessss!” I all but scream.
That’s all the motivation he needs to start driving into me like a man possessed. He sets a relentless pace. If I thought I was thankful for him going to the gym every day before, I was kidding myself. I had no idea how much I’d appreciate his dedication to keeping fit until I learned about his unyielding endurance.
“I’m so fucking close. Tell me what to do to get you there.”
I’ve already had one orgasm on his mouth, but he’s dead set on me having another on his cock.
“Touch me, please, touch me.” I’m shamelessly begging, though he doesn’t need it.
Before I can even get the words out his thumb is strumming my clit like it’s an instrument only he knows how to properly play. It takes only a few strokes before my orgasm consumes me. My release spurs on his. A guttural groan escapes his mouth. As I come down, I feel him pulse inside of me.
When both our orgasms subside, he leans in and places the sweetest of kisses on my lips.
Fuck. What did I just do?
I’VE JUST RETURNED FROM PRE-SCHOOL and I’m ready to start work. I needed a little time to decide where to go from here. Working from home just makes sense. I rushed out yesterday once logic crept back in. I made a flimsy excuse about having forgotten Ellie’s lunch and left until I knew he’d be gone for a meeting.
I’m a complete coward.
Asher: Cookout is at one on Sunday. You still coming?
Crap. I was supposed to have until Monday. Being with him was too much, too intense. I’m not sure how we can go forward from here. I can’t just keep running away. There’s something here, between us. I’m just not ready to accept it, yet.
Me: Can I think about it? I don’t want things to be uncomfortable for anyone.
Before I can elaborate in text, my cell starts ringing. I can’t send it to voicemail, like the avoider I usually am. He already knows I’m on it. After three rings, I act like the adult I am and hit accept.
“Hi,” I say timidly, my heart in my throat as I answer.
“Why are you avoiding me?”
“It’s hard to know what to do. I care so much for you. But I’m terrified when you learn everything about me you won’t want me. I’m constantly pushing you away, and it kills me because it’s the right thing to do.”
My heart is breaking knowing I’m hurting him. My words say I need space, but when he’s near my body says come closer. And my stupid traitorous heart. My heart really wants to give in to the sweet man so relentlessly pursuing me
“I get you’re overwhelmed by us, and yes, there is an us. We can go as slow as you need. But I think we both know we can’t be just friends. There’s an elemental pull between us, and I think you know it. We’re destined to be more.”
“I’m starting to understand I’m too weak to fight this, even if logic tells me it’s an awful idea. But we need to talk about a lot of things first. I don’t want you going into this without completely understanding what life with me entails. It’s messy and complicated, and I wouldn’t blame you if you regret getting involved. I won’t be mad at you if it’s too much.”
Relief floods me at saying the words out loud, but my stomach is still in knots. It’s killing me waiting for what comes next.
“I want to be with you. Just you and no one else. If I need to be a patient man for that to happen then a patient man I will be. Now, are you working at the bar tomorrow?”
“Yeah, but before we talk everything over, I need a night to think. I promise not to back away. I won’t keep running from this.”
“How about you come to Mom and Pop’s Sunday with Leigh and Ellie? We’ll have fun, eat some good food. You can meet my parents under the guise of being my friend and the new office manager. That way there’s no pressure. I’ll do my best to only touch you when no one’s looking.
“Then afterward, I’ll come over to your place and once Peanut is asleep, you and I can talk over all your concerns.
“And, Tempie”—his voice gets low, desire coating it—“when all is said and done, I’m gonna take you in a proper bed like you deserve.”
I’m terrified but ready for this leap. We’ve been dancing around this for far too long. I’m overwhelmed with hope and dread mixing together inside me.
“Okay, we’ll be at the cookout. I’m looking forward to it.” I’m smiling because even though I’m on the verge of an anxiety ridden meltdown, I can’t lie and say I’m not desperately eager to see him and meet his parents.
“Don’t forget Ellie’s swimsuit,” he reminds me. “I won’t complain if you want to bring a little suit for yourself, too.”
