Badlands next generation.., p.22
Badlands: Next Generation Collection, page 22
I watched him place his duffel back on the edge of the bed and drank in every ridge and line framing his eight-pack, droplets of water still between a few of the crevices.
“When you’re done eye fucking the body I bust my ass for, lotion my back.”
Before I could snap out a retort, a blue bottle was launched through the air.
My hands instinctively shot up and caught it just before the damn thing smacked my face.
“You are such an asshole.” I laughed and flipped the lotion upside down, giving a firm tap to the bottom.
“I know, but I’m an asshole who knows how to make you smile, and that’s all that matters.”
“Oh, shut up and get over here.”
I spread my legs and patted the space between them, indicating he should sit. He raised his brows and I knew some smartass remark was seconds away from spilling out of his mouth.
“You say that next sentence and you can have Greer rub this on when he comes back.”
He held up his hands defensively. “I was only going to say that if you want me, you need to ask much nicer than that. Maybe add in a real sweet pretty please.”
I rubbed my brow, biting my inner cheek so I wouldn’t laugh. “Satanas, Malik.”
He cocked his head to the side and leaned down, bracing his hands on the edge of the bed. A few damp strands of obsidian hair fell onto his forehead.
“I used to think this whole devil worship thing was super fucking weird, but I gotta admit, having a best friend who’s all satanic and shit kinda turns me on.”
I opened my mouth, and then snapped it closed. Best friend? Those two words both thrilled me and made my gut twist into a painful knot. I focused on the beginning part of his statement, shoving the latter into a box to sort through later.
“The man who has a snake tattooed on his neck and belongs to a gang named Venom is calling my religion weird?”
He stood up and turned his head, forcing me to look at the tattoo of a snake wrapped around the letter V. I’d never tell him I thought the insignia was hot. At least, not right this minute. He did not need any more steroids for his ego, especially from me.
“This tat got me more pussy than I knew what to do with.”
“Got is past tense…”
“I know. I’ve got my sights set on something else now. Something I know will be a lot more satisfying.” His accompanying smile revealed straight white teeth.
I wasn’t sure what that meant exactly, but I had no desire to understand.
“Please spare me the details of your extracurricular activities.”
He leaned down again, this time to climb onto the bed and make his way between my legs. When he was nearly nose to nose with me he stopped. “Why? You jealous?” he taunted with a slight smirk.
Was I jealous? No. Was I possessive? Hell yes. I wanted to annihilate any woman who even smiled at him in a sexually suggestive manner. But, friends.
“What exactly am I supposed to be jealous of, Malik?”
His delectable lips flattened into a straight line, slow blinking eyes stared directly into mine. Instead of instinctively leaning back, I physically locked my body in place.
After weeks together and countless moments spent alone, I still wasn’t over how good he looked.
Maliki was ridiculously beautiful, and twice as twisted. The combination made for a lethal cocktail I was craving to inebriate me.
He gave a slight shake of his head and broke our staring contest as he settled himself, turning so his back was facing my front and his waist was lightly pressing against my apex.
I silently squeezed a blob of coconut lotion into my palm, and then began gently rubbing it into his smooth, sun-kissed skin.
The quiet stretched on but it wasn’t awkward. If anything, it was natural and almost homely. There were many facets when it came to this unorthodox relationship of ours.
Admittedly, I didn’t have many friends of the opposite sex, but I knew this wasn’t a typical boy-girl comradeship.
Our lives were constant battles of hardship and carefully placing one foot in front of the other to ensure our survival. That never stopped him from being able to make me smile.
We held hands and shared a bed, flirted non-stop, and told each other morbid truths we’d never told the others. So, I guess I could see the best-friend thing if it weren’t for the fact that we pussy footed around the obvious.
For all that we shared, I had never spoken a word about him taking up one of the darkest corners of my mind. He didn’t know the way he intrigued my demons and called to the monster that dwelled inside my head.
I kept them safely hidden from everyone else for fear they would try to exorcise them. I hated them with every inch of my soul, which is precisely why I needed them even more.
I think that’s what made tonight strange in more ways than one. The ache between my thighs and the way my fingers lingered on his skin for longer than they needed to should have set off alarm bells in my head. It was stronger than it had been in quite some time. I brushed aside my stirrings of desire as simply needing to get laid.
I once had few inhibitions when it came to sex, but he hadn’t attempted to fuck me again, and the last person who touched my body before that made sure I knew fucking me was like fucking a corpse.
All the self-confidence in the world couldn’t stop me from feeling the stinging humiliation that followed those words. Maliki keeping his hands to himself wasn’t helping me feel better.
As to why I was touching him longer than necessary? Simple: I loved touching him.
But we were just friends.
I would keep repeating those two words until I made myself understand that’s all we’d ever be. I was okay with that, because I knew what I risked losing.
Denial was one hell of a drug.
Maliki’s ability to pull me from a chaotic downward spiral directly to a state of tranquility with merely a look or a few softly spoken words was an obvious sign that he was my recovery. Regrettably, I was unable to accept that.
I continued massaging the lotion into his flesh, taking my time when I got to the top part of his shoulder where a shaded sleeve began, wrapping around his entire right arm. Aside from the Venom insignia on his neck, it was the only other place he had ink.
Feeling the sudden need to break the silence, I cleared my throat. “You did a terrible job drying off. That’s what I was staring at, not eye fucking you.”
He chuckled softly. “Nyx, if you didn’t eye fuck me, I’d be offended, but since you wanna be a girl about it, I’ll pretend to believe you weren’t thinking dirty things about me.”
His words needled too close to being true for me to find the amusement in them. I shook my head and gently pushed between his shoulder blades. He didn’t go anywhere, but it had been worth a try.
“You can get up now. You’re done. And while you’re at it, put a shirt on so I can control these filthy thoughts of mine.”
The muscles in his back flexed as he twisted to look at me, a cocky grin in place. “I’d rather you share those thoughts. We can compare notes afterward.”
“Get up!” I shoved him again, this time successfully making his body slide from between my legs. I recapped the lotion and wiped the last bit on my jeans, passing the bottle off when he stood and reached for it.
“You tired?” he asked, tossing it towards his duffel.
“Nope,” I lied. I was always ready to meet the sandman on the other side, but I hated what was waiting for me in my dreams every time I arrived.
Maliki hummed in response and rounded to the opposite side of the bed.
“Switch me spots.”
“What?”
“Swap places with me,” he clarified.
“Um…okay.”
I slid down a bit, and he claimed the spot I’d just been sitting in.
He spread his legs and gave me an expectant look when I hesitated to climb between them. Wondering where he was going with this, I shrugged and took up the same position he’d just been in.
At first, nothing happened, and I began to think he was screwing with me. His deep exhale swiftly had me changing my mind. It was as if an immeasurable amount of stress expelled from him with that one breath.
I related to it so much that my heart constricted in my chest. This was what none of the others would understand about us.
It’s why I’d never tell him to stop doing whatever it was he was doing in these motels, even though I desperately wanted to know. As nice as moments like this were, it didn’t change the fact that we were both all types of screwed up.
We all were, but Malik and I were on an entirely different spectrum. Our pain was worse. The betrayal cut deeper because it came from people we stupidly thought we’d loved, but had never loved us.
I was just getting acquainted with death, and darkness had gradually been becoming his constant companion. The domino effect of events the last few weeks forced us to embrace them fully, whether we were ready or not—and neither of us had been.
This was the result of life hitting us harder than we expected and testing to see if we were strong enough to get back up. He was struggling to cope, but until he let me all the way in, I could do nothing more than be there when he needed me to.
I knew this because I was struggling, too. I was lost in a sea of chaos and beginning to feel battered by the waves. The only difference between the two of us was that my demons and I were becoming the best of friends, and he was still waging war with his.
I wasn’t going to demand he tell me why his jeans had blood on them because I knew he would when he was ready. And I didn’t protest when his arms slipped around my waist and pulled me further into him.
He stretched one arm out and turned the light off, shutting us in the dark, and then he laid me down, my back flush against his naked chest.
The bed squeaked and dipped as he settled behind me, resting one hand on my hip. He didn’t try to press his cock into my ass or feel me up, he simply held me and we took comfort from one another—just like we had a million times before.
“This never gets old,” he murmured after another stretch of silence.
I made a sound of agreement and closed my eyes.
This was nice. It was peace and solitude minus the loneliness. He was warmth and small moments of peace. I couldn’t risk losing this any more than I could stop myself from comparing him to the man who fell short of how incredible he was in every single way.
“Not tired, huh?” I heard sometime later, feeling cool breath on my cheek seconds before I fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Four
quattuor
I pulled my fresh T over my head, and then popped my toothbrush out of my mouth so I could spit.
In the mirror, I had a perfect view of Nyx still slumbering in bed. I knew she was tired. She’d eventually learn I could see past all her bullshit.
One flower-inked arm was slung over her eyes, long silky hair fanned out beneath her head like a dark halo. She was fucking mesmerizing.
Every inch of her was captivating.
I’d never been this close to a woman that looked like her—in all fairness, that was because no one was on her level. I had only fucked her twice. That was testament to how much I liked this girl.
On top of her being the most divine thing I’d come across in this wasteland, her personality was dope—even when she was being a cold-hearted bitch.
She had a few odd habits of her own that I was positive she wasn’t aware of. Some that would freak an average man the fuck out. I found them interesting, to say the least.
Nyx was the first woman I’d been cool with on this level. I was tight with Trix, of course, but she was into the same kind of chicks I was.
I had no issues with Adelaide, but she was in love with my brother, and he was madly obsessed with her.
Last night, I’d gone from gutting a bitch to making it my mission that Nyx would smile—all in the span of five minutes. That summed me up pretty well as a person. I wasn’t soft, and I didn’t do sweet—not unless it was about her.
Hearing a light knock on the door, I hurriedly rinsed my mouth and toothbrush, placing the travel cap back on it before I went to see what he wanted—he being Zane. The sky had changed from black to blue thirty minutes ago, but he would have gotten up hours before then.
Swinging the door open, I stepped out and pulled it shut behind me, making sure I didn’t wake Nyx.
“Never thought I’d see the day you fully handed your balls over,” Zane said amusedly.
I glanced over to where he was leaning against the brick exterior of the motel. “Is that why you have those teeth marks on the side of your neck? Addy take your balls, Z?”
He grinned and brought his hand up to touch the dark spot, suddenly looking prideful as fuck. “She got a little pissed off last night, but my balls are still firmly intact and her ass looks twice as bad.”
I shook my head at him and chuckled. With Zane, there could be a million different reasons Addy went Cujo on him. Those two were a match and gasoline that had yet to fully combine; when they did, shit was bound to explode.
“Outside of you mauling your girl’s ass, did you get anything from the bartender?”
He pulled a joint from behind his ear and a lighter from his jean pocket, sparking it up before replying.
“Yup.” He took a hit, held it, exhaled and then passed it to me. “We head to Dartmoor as soon as everyone is up. After that, we can loop back to V3, regroup and restock on diesel and food. Maybe by then we’ll have some fuckin clue as to what we need to do next.”
I took a pull from the joint and nodded. “You gonna tell me what’s in Dartmoor?”
“I was getting to that. We’re going to find a guy named Buddy. He’s a panhandler who supposedly pawned off a man with shoulder length hair and a redhead with an accent.”
“Darrian and Ace.”
We’d wondered what the fuck had happened to him when he was snatched during our infamous showdown a few weeks ago.
“Yeah, and if either of them were with these Stag fucks, they might have heard or seen something that can help us pinpoint where they’re hiding out and lead us to the kids. Although, I’m not too sure they’ll be all that young anymore.”
I took another hit from the joint and passed it back. He was right; the chances of them being in perfect physical health was debatable. Mentally, it was highly unlikely.
I’d seen Adelaide’s baby sister the day we got her back just as clearly as the rest of our group did. The bruises on her thighs painted a clear picture of what had happened to her.
We couldn’t be sure that Demon, Lilith, and Samael were even still alive.
There was still way too much we didn’t know where the Stags were concerned—like why they took them in the first place or what it was they truly wanted, because one thing for certain, it was not Butcher or Gwen, and I didn’t know what three teenagers could give them, either. What I did know was that for the sake of everyone involved, not a single one of those kids had better be dead.
“Have you spoken to Lucifuge?”
“He’s the one who sent me the directions to Dartmoor. For once, I think he’s actually focused on the same thing we are.”
That didn’t surprise me. Luce was a lot of things, and I didn’t trust his ass, but there was no disputing that he was fiercely protective of his friends and family.
He was one of the key reasons Addy and Zane were openly able to be together. Their relationship was thoroughly weaved into the details of our factions’ alliance. The one I was still wrapping my head around.
Most already knew better than to fuck with the devil’s daughter, but for someone to come at the Savage princess and the Venom queen? That was suicidal. If one of her psychotic ass family members didn’t take them out, one of ours would—exactly what Luce had wanted, his sister heavily protected, which led me to believe he was up to something.
“Maliki,” Zane said, tone turning serious, “how bad is it?”
I turned his question over in my head, wondering how to respond. I didn’t lie to Z.
At times, I bullshitted my way around certain topics, but we never lied to one another. Keeping secrets from the one person who had always had your back was a dumbass move.
“I think I’m breaking.” Four words he would understand perfectly. Four simple words that let him know the demons were no longer contained inside my head, that they were now manifesting in my blood.
Every second of every day, they grew a little stronger, and I was feeling fucking hopeless. I couldn’t tell if I was still sane when my issues were leaking from my brain and into reality. I put on an act so no one knew, but it was only a matter of time before they met the man I’d been trying to hide.
A man who did shit he was ashamed of to take off the edge. A man who was beginning to hate the sight of himself.
Zane nodded as if confirming something. “I’m going to tell you what I told you once before, way back when we were sleeping on thin sheets over concrete in a subway station.”
“And what’s that?”
He snubbed out the joint and turned his stocky body so that we were facing one another.
“Let yourself break. Stop trying to fight it. Stop trying to change who you’ve always been. No amount of drugs or alcohol is going to take this away. It comes with being part of this degenerate generation.” He placed a hand on my shoulder. “No matter how bad it’s gotten, it isn’t going to stop you being from my brother, or that girl in there from needing you.”
Dropping his arm, he looked across the parking lot where Greer was leaving some random room.
“Mi amigos!” he called to us, spreading his hands out.
“This fucking guy.” Zane laughed, the heavy veil draped over us temporarily lifting.
“Wake your girl up; I’ll fill this asshole in and have him wake Trix. You know how that goes.”
I didn’t bother correcting him. He’d been calling Nyx my girl before she and I had ever had a full blown conversation.
Grinning when he called Greer a dumbass loud enough for me to hear, I held onto the fleeting feeling of being able to breathe without the self-loathing clawing at my insides.
