Stained, p.26
Stained, page 26
“He’s your brother; I want you to build a relationship with him. He loves you; he looked for you for twenty years Jazz. Ally asked you to go, I absolutely did not encourage that, it was all her idea.”
“Are you angry that I went?”
“No Jazz, I am happy you went. I want you to make friends and be happy, and live.”
“So that you can?”
“So that I can what Jazz?”
“Live. So that you can live. So that you can leave me for Harper?”
“I’ve already lost Harper. My hope is the same for you as it is for me Jazz; that we can live life and be happy. That we can allow others to care for us, and we can care for them. Friends, family, and lovers. One’s who fill our lives and hearts. I want to be your friend, Jazz.”
“She said that too.”
“Who said that, MASS?”
“No Harper. I was mean, and she told me she would like to be my friend.”
Maddox closed his eyes and took a deep breath, “Then she meant it.”
“You want to be my friend?”
“Of course I do.”
“Even after everything… you want to be my friend?”
“Jazz where is this coming from?”
“They talked about friends--- ones they missed and ones they didn’t. Which would I be to you?”
Maddox laughed, “A little of both,” he looked at her face, “You’re smiling.”
“Is that okay?”
“What did I ever do to make you think it wasn’t?”
“You don’t smile a lot.”
“I get sad a lot.”
“Because you miss Harper?”
“And my family. Jazz you need to stop talking about Harper. That makes me sad, okay?”
“Okay.”
“Jazz, your brother loves you. Be his friend too, okay?”
“I don’t know.”
“Hello LONDON!” Ally yelled when they walked on stage, “Thanks for coming out tonight we are MASS!”
As promised, Maddox walked on before their last song and the crowd blew up. Ally and the girls danced and sang, and he played the guitar. He had as much fun as they did. They called Jazz on stage, and she played piano alongside MASS’s pianist. The show was great, and at the end of the night both bands went out to a small restaurant outside the city and ate a very late dinner. They then went to a pub and danced and sang with the Juke Box. Jazz seemed far less awkward than normal. The tour was sold out all over Europe. MASS was climbing the charts. There were only two more concerts to go both in Germany: Munich and then Frankfurt.
Jazz was doing well. She and Zach were even talking more. She was alright if the conversation was not about her youth. When the subject came up, she would simply get up and walk away… not flip out like she used to. Maddox was happy, he enjoyed fewer and fewer after concert autograph signing sessions in the dressing room. He preferred going to dinner and hanging out with his friends, old and new. He no longer drank before shows-- occasionally he would hit the pipe with the crew before taking stage, but it was not always necessary. He could still not fall asleep at night without seeing her face, so he continued taking a few hits before dozing off to sleep. MASS had been contacted about taking part in a fundraiser in Zurich. Ally asked Maddox advice, and he told her it would be a great opportunity for further exposure. It was a few weeks after the tour ended and he offered her any help she needed and a place for her and the band to stay. When the tour ended at Brody’s request, Maddox went back to Liverpool to spend time with them for a few days.
Maddox walked into the entry and London and Lexington greeted him with a welcome home sign and balloons. He smiled and picked them both up and spun them in a circle. Brody and Emma hugged him, and they all went into the dining room to eat dinner.
“How long are you staying?” London asked.
“Yeah, how long?” Lexington copied her exact tone. Both blunt and to the point.
“As long as it takes for me to drive you both mad,” he laughed.
“London’s mad at you already,” Lexington smirked.
“Am not.”
“You said so, uh huh,” Lexington frowned.
“I missed him. I wasn’t mad, Lexington,” London began to turn red.
“I missed you both as well. I’m not upset, London, I have been pretty absent lately. I apologize. Will you forgive me, please?”
“Depends,” London smiled.
“What are your terms, London?”
“Never go a week without visiting again.”
“Unless I’m on tour… done.”
“Never go a day without calling.”
“Alright, unless I have a terrible cold and I cannot speak,” Maddox held his throat in jest.
“Never go a day without sending a text.”
“Unless my fingers are broken or my phone has been eaten by dreadful dragons, done.”
“When did you talk to Harper last?”
Maddox smiled sadly, “It has been a very long time.”
“Okay London, that’s enough,” Emma said softly.
“No, that’s fine. When did you last speak to her, London?”
“A week ago. I made her promise to call me once a week. She is living in Sweden now. An internship with the Who,” London took a bit of her mashed potatoes.
“The band?” Maddox was surprised.
London laughed, “No silly, the WHO, the World Health Organization. She has been here for two months,” London changed her voice mimicking Harper’s; she’s having a fabulous time. She enjoys her job a great deal.” Maddox took a drink and cleared his throat.
“How long will she be here?”
“I guess it’s a six month gig. Then she’ll graduate from Cornell. She seems pretty excited,” London smiled.
“That’s great, does she call often?”
“Yep, she’ll call right before I go to bed tonight.”
“Hmm that’s nice, London.”
Brody and Emma looked at each other with concern in their eyes and Maddox noticed, “I will not make trouble for her.”
“We didn’t think you would, Maddox.”
“Then what is with the look?” Maddox was getting frustrated.
“This, right here is your home. You need to be happy here.”
“I am.”
Maddox ate in silence. When everyone was finished he and London cleared the table and washed dishes, with a little help from Lexington.
Maddox was in London’s bedroom waiting to read to her when her phone rang. She was still in the bathroom, so he answered it. “Hello.”
“Oh I’m sorry I must have the wrong number.”
“Harper?”
“Who is this?” her voice had softened.
“It’s Maddox, Harper. London is in the bathroom.”
“Okay I’ll call her another…”
“No, please stay on the phone… she’ll be here any minute. She would be upset if she didn’t hear from you.”
“Ok.”
They sat in silence for what seemed like ages.
Maddox cleared his throat, “How have you been?”
“Fine.” Her answer was quick and short.
“Good, that’s very good to hear.”
“Why?”
“Why is it good that you’re fine?”
“Never mind.”
“No, I think I can handle answering that question.”
“I would prefer you didn’t.”
“Harper, please don’t be angry at me anymore.”
“I’m not, I just feel like this is a waste of time.”
“Well we sort of are wasting time aren’t we?” Maddox smiled, and she heard it in his voice. She did not reply or hang up, “Harper, Jazz is getting better.”
“That’s great Maddox.”
“Yes I think so as well. She is actually pleasant to be around.”
“Well I’m happy for both of you.”
“Why then did you say it like that?”
“Please let London know I called. She can call me back any…”
“What just happened, Harper?”
“Maddox, nothing just happened, okay? Absolutely nothing. I am happy for you both. I don’t know what more you want me to say.”
“Anything Harper… say anything. It’s just really good to hear your voice.” Again she did not answer.
“I’ll stop talking now again I am,” the phone went dead, “Are you there Harper? Harper are you…” Maddox looked at the phone and read call ended, “FUCK!”
“That’s a bad word,” London walked in and bounced on the bed.
“Sorry.”
“She is mad at you?”
“Yes.”
“You will be okay, Maddox. Just give it time.”
“I certainly don’t deserve her kindness or yours.”
“Of course you do. I love you.”
“I love you more,” Maddox smiled at her.
“Not true,” he tickled her and she laughed, “Not possible!” he tickled her more, “NOT EVEN CLOSE!”
Brody walked in and chuckled, “Lexington is asleep, or was.”
Maddox sat up and smiled, “Sorry, Dad.”
Brody hugged them both and walked out the door. London grabbed her phone and dialed it. She held the phone to her ear and held Maddox’s hand.
“Hello,” Harper answered.
“Do you have a cold?”
“Well hello, London.”
“Sorry I missed your call I was in the bathroom.”
“That’s alright, how was your week?”
“It’s better now.”
“Why is that?”
“Well my brother is here, and I am on the phone with you. I’m just happy.”
“I am glad you are happy.”
“Cool. So the holidays are coming up. You live close now; can you come to Thanksgiving and Christmas?”
“I won't be able to for Thanksgiving. I have a fundraiser the day before. I am pretty sure I’ll be tired.”
“What kind of fundraiser?”
“Raising money for WHO, a concert actually.”
“Oh that’s sounds like fun. Who’s playing?” London looked at Maddox and raised her eyebrows.
“I am not in charge of that, but I don’t think it’s anyone really popular.”
“So that’s next week?”
“Yes.”
“We should plan something for Christmas.”
“We will see okay? If not, maybe something when I am done here.”
“When will you be done with your internship?”
“The beginning of March. And then I have to find a real job,” Harper laughed.
“I bet you will be good at whatever you do.”
“Aw thanks London-- you are very sweet.”
“So are you. I miss you.”
“I miss you as much.”
“I love you.”
“I love you as much.”
Maddox laid in his room looking at the ceiling, wishing he did not pick today to try the whole sobriety thing. He knew Emma and Brody had not restocked the wine cellar since the last time he was home, and he sure as hell was not going to lie around trying to fall asleep when he knew it would not happen. He jumped out of bed and threw on his sweatshirt and a pair of jeans. He grabbed his keys and snuck down the stairs and out the back door. He drove down to the waterfront and hopped out of his car and locked it with the remote. And walked to the spot he had first performed with T. He sat with his hood up and drank a glass of wine and watched some street performers. They were pretty good. He had a few more glasses, and the group took a break.
“Hey man, are you Maddox Hines?” the guitarist asked Maddox.
“Yeah, but not tonight. Tonight I am just like you,” Maddox shook his hand.
“Cool, wanna go catch a buzz?”
“Sounds wonderful,” Maddox drank his glass and stood up and followed him.
Maddox woke to someone tapping on his car window. He sat up confused and high as the moon. He unrolled the window and laughed. “Mr. Hines, can you please step out of the car?”
“I sure can try, what is the problem officer?”
“Your car in the ditch for starters.”
“Oh shit, I must have fallen asleep.”
The officer put him in the back of the car, and Maddox laughed, “Silly question but are you taking me back home?”
“You could have killed yourself or someone else tonight.”
“I honestly drank a couple glasses of wine and I probably should not be telling you this, but off the record I took a couple hits of some pot. This has never happened before.”
“Was it your own?”
“Nah.”
“That’s pretty stupid.”
“I know.”
The police officer called a tow truck and they waited on the side of the road. “Maddox, I’m going to take you home. I don’t feel real good about this either, you can’t do shit like this. You could have killed someone. I’m going to say you swerved to miss an animal. This is your one get out of jail free card. I swear to the Lord himself if I hear of this happening again I’ll make sure you don’t get away with it.”
Maddox woke the next morning to Brody pacing at the foot of his bed. “Good morning,” Maddox sat up and rubbed his eyes.
“It’s noon, Maddox!” Brody was trying to keep his cool. “You are all over the news.”
“Okay, I can explain.”
“Do not bullshit me!”
“I won’t.”
Maddox told Brody exactly what had happened; leaving out that the kid was in a band. He knew his father’s temper, and he knew if he were to tell him Brody would end up in jail.
When he walked down the stairs London looked up and then turned away from him and walked outside.
He followed her. “You’re mad at me?”
“Were you drinking?” Maddox brows knit together, and he let out a frustrated breath. “You said you loved me right?” he nodded, “You lied and I do not want to talk to you anymore.” London walked towards the house, and he grabbed her arm.
“I do love you, London.”
“Do you remember hearing about my daddy, Maddox? He loved me enough to stop doing this kind of thing. But I sure remember how bad it hurt when he was doing it. It felt like SHIT, Maddox!”
“Shit is a bad word, London,” Maddox forced a smile.
“I don’t care. Why don’t you just leave if you don’t love us enough to be here? Just leave!”
London ran in the house crying, and Maddox stood outside feeling as if he may do the same.
Emma grabbed London’s arm when she ran in, “What just happened out there?”
“I told him he was like Daddy was, and that he doesn’t love us, and that he should leave!”
Brody dropped the plate he was holding, and Emma looked at him, “Go Brody.”
“London he is not like daddy okay? He has had a really bad start to life but he is getting better,” Emma held her as she cried.
“No, he is not getting better, he is just here less! He doesn’t love us, he loves her!”
“London, I want you to really think about how you would feel if he left right now okay?”
“I would feel the same as I always do! Scared he won’t come back! Scared he will get hurt or die like everyone else!”
Emma pulled her tight and held her as she sobbed.
Brody and Maddox had heard everything she had said. Maddox had not moved from the place she had left him standing.
“I think I need help, Dad,” Maddox whispered.
“I’ll do whatever you need,” Brody wrapped his arm around his shoulder and they stood looking at the garden listening to London cry.
Harper sat in the bay window of her third floor apartment overlooking the lake in Geneva, Switzerland. It was a quiet and practical place to live. She was half a mile from the train station that took her to work every morning. She was about 200 yards from a lake that she often sat by on weekend mornings feeding the ducks. The apartment itself was completely white with a spacious open floor plan. It came furnished and had around the clock security and staff that was willing to take care of anything she asked of them, which was not much. She was sure her father paid them dearly for it each month.
She wrapped her gray cardigan around herself in response to the chill in the air and laughed to herself when she realized it was outside, not in her apartment. At times she was annoyed by the luxurious living conditions she was surrounded by and wished her parents had given into the flat she desperately wanted in the heart of the city. In light of recent findings, she was happy they did not allow it. The quiet calm and peace of this place was what she needed now, and she knew it. A place to sit and look over the lake. A place she did not look down on the streets and see lovers strolling arm in arm. A place to get over Maddox so she could be the person she needed to be for the next phase of her life. Talking to London was normally so comforting. She looked forward to hearing her talk about Lexington and her schooling. The love in her voice was like a hundred hugs. But two days after the last conversation she was already getting nervous about her weekly call. Her only distraction would come in the form of her unexpected new closest friend and confidant Blake James.
Harper had taken her internship in Switzerland with complete confidence that she would not know anyone. She was looking forward to it. She would be working for an organization that helped fund some of the programs her family had run since before she was born. It was not what she had planned for her future to be, not even close, but things had changed. She knew she would need them more than ever, and as much as she needed them, both her parents would need to be very involved with the next phase in her life. When she walked into the meeting room that morning weeks ago she was not feeling well. She was homesick and disgusted by the photos and reports popping up all over the internet about Maddox and the band members of MASS. They were inseparable. Every night at a different restaurant or club with photos of Maddox laughing and smiling with them. The blondes name was Ally; she knew it because she had read it. She and Maddox seemed very close. Even Jazz seemed to like her. When she saw the picture of the two of them in Germany singing at a pub and later dancing close, she knew he was falling for her just like he had fallen for Harper. She looked up when the head of the internship program introduced their newest doctor, Blake James. He did not look at her. He introduced himself and talked about his schooling and then about the foundation he had worked for every summer that had lead him to leave his surgical rotation in order to pursue what he was passionate about. When they broke for lunch, she found him.
