The secrets they keep, p.16
The Secrets They Keep, page 16
“Let me guess.” She smiled at him as he held the front door open for her. “Poker.”
He nodded, laughing. “That was my game.”
“Do you still go?”
“I haven’t been for a few months at least.” On the way to her car, he began walking the other way. “Hey, I’m driving this time.”
“Alright.” She followed him down a short row of cars. “So why did you stop?”
“Wasn’t really enjoying it. It helped for a bit. Gave me something to do…”
He was lonely.
“Now I just prefer a game of hold ‘em or whatever when I’m with friends. At least then, you can’t be as upset when you lose,” he said, laughing.
“Because someone you like gets the money, instead of the casino?” She smiled, squinting through the sun as they reached his car.
“Pretty much.”
They smiled at each other as she reached for the door handle, but as their eyes locked, she couldn’t find it. She felt around for a moment, caught in his gaze, until she broke eye contact and opened the door.
Snap out of it, Grace. Focus on the work.
“Not being able to conceive a child together,” she said. “Poor financial management is an understatement. Failing business. Suspecting his wife of being unfaithful, and possibly having cheated on her himself. And those are just the ones we know about.”
“You know what I keep thinking about?”
She turned to him as he pulled out of the parking lot.
“That note he left in the limo for Kurt and Doreen. It sounded positive, if not realistic. Not a hint of bitterness. He was happy for them, even through his own shit. He even thought his own life was about to get better after talking with Kurt.”
Grace turned to look out her window. “He didn’t see it coming.”
But someone did. Someone wanted him dead and sought out that specific moment to kill him.
“All those guests who could have come out at any time,” Grace muttered. “It had to have been important to do it then. We’re missing something.”
As they continued in the direction of the casino, she imagined Cory sitting alone in his car.
No heat.
No one seeming to care where he was or that he was alone.
But he still had hope. At least up until that point.
Someone had you right where they wanted you, and I’m going to find out who.
Chapter Twenty One
Madigan’s boots tapped one after the other against the paved path, walking toward the gazebo in Tall Pines Park. The gazebo, barely visible through the fog that rolled in late that morning after she left her self-defence class, had been the only public place she could think to meet Luke.
Of course it’s foggy, dark, and gray.
She checked over her shoulder for Luke, but with the park still empty, she forced herself on.
Can’t meet a random stranger in broad daylight. No. Too easy.
As she approached the gazebo steps, she dragged her feet.
He’s not here yet. Still time to go back. And what? Hide at home until it’s time for work?
She climbed the steps and swung one leg over the picnic table bench, straddling it, facing the entrance. Cars zoomed by from the street across the field, but no children’s laughter echoed from the jungle gym. No birds sang among the trees.
The quiet hung in the air like the dampness that carried the fog, chilling her bones. Footsteps slapped against the paved path.
Okay, just see what he knows, but don’t tell him much.
“Hey,” Luke said, emerging from the fog with a smile. “This is creepy, isn’t it? Couldn’t have met at a café?”
He’s kind of funny.
Relief washed over her, knowing they shared similar thoughts, as he climbed the steps and sat across the table.
“I’m surprised you contacted me.”
“Yeah, well, I have a problem I need dealt with. If John sent you, you must be able to help somehow.”
“I’m glad you’ve come to your senses. I’d like to get this over with too, because whatever this is, you’re in dangerous territory.”
Madigan swung her other leg over the bench and folded her hands in front of her on the table. “I need to find someone.”
“Okay…”
“It’s a man. I’m pretty sure he works for Mickey Clarke.”
Luke rubbed his hand over his mouth and across his scruff. “That could be a lot of men. Can you narrow it down for me?”
“If I could, I wouldn’t need your help.”
He scratched his neck, revealing the beginning of what she assumed was a full sleeve of tattoos on his right arm. “Why are you looking for him?”
“It’s not relevant. All you need to know is that this is a guy who would carry out some dirty work. Someone who’d take care of things for Mickey—no questions asked.”
“Doesn’t narrow it down much more.”
“He’d be a bit taller than you. A bit more built too.”
“That helps, but I’m still not sure how we’re supposed to find someone when you don’t even know who they are.”
I’m not getting anywhere with him. This was a bad idea.
She lifted her leg back out from under the table.
“Hey—”
“I thought John sent you to me because you could help, but if you can’t, there’s no point…” She swung her other leg over.
“If you’re looking for someone who can help you with something, I can help. No matter what it is. You don’t need to go looking for Mickey’s goons.”
She shoved her hands in her jacket pockets and squinted down at him. “What exactly is it that you owe John?”
“He’s been there for me. When things went to shit with Mickey, he was there. I got out because he took over my spot.”
“Dealing?”
He cocked his head to the side and nodded once. “You don’t just get out from under Mickey’s thumb. Doesn’t happen. But John made it happen for me. I owe him a large debt. That’s why I’m telling you—whatever it is—just tell me, and I’ll do it.”
Madigan bit at her inner lip, staring past Luke into the fog behind him.
I’m running out of options…
“If you really want to help me, you won’t ask any more questions.”
“Fine,” he said, holding his hands up as he had the night before.
He didn’t stop then. He won’t now, but he wants me to think he will.
“Listen, you haven’t been real clear with me, but offhand, I know two guys who fit the description. These are two guys I never wanted to see. Had to see one every weekend for a drop off and pick up. The other, I only met once.” He stared down at the wooden gazebo floor, pursing his lips.
Remembering the time he met this mystery man?
“Tell me about them,” she said, leaning back to sit on the railing.
“The one I worked closely with is Blaze,” he said. “He was my contact once I was in deep. Tall guy. Dark hair. Muscle man. He worked with John too.”
Blaze is not on my list.
“And he’d do things for Mickey?”
“Anything he wanted him to. But, depending on what you mean by that, he mostly just sticks to the drugs side of Mickey’s operation, unless he’s personally accompanying him places. Like a bodyguard.”
Tall, built. It fits.
“Does he work at the clubs?”
“As a front, yeah, but in actuality, not really. This guy—did you meet him at Wild Card?”
“I said no questions.”
He shrugged.
“And the other guy?”
“The other guy’s taller than me too, but not by as much. He doesn’t work at the clubs, and he’s almost never at them either. He does Mickey’s other work.”
“Like?”
“There’s a lot I don’t know, but that’s one of the guys he sends to collect on debts. To frighten people into submission. To handle his illegal dealings. Like I said, I met him once, and he’s not someone I ever want to see again.”
“What’s his name?”
“They call him Mr. Magic.”
“Really? Why?”
“Because whoever he’s sent to see? He makes them disappear.”
Tingles ran down her spine.
Definitely not on my list.
“Believe me when I say you don’t want to meet either of these guys, so if you have already, it’s best to just stay away. John wouldn’t want you near them either, so I’m guessing he doesn’t know you’re looking for this kind of trouble.”
I have their names. I don’t need him anymore.
She stood and trod toward the steps.
But it would help to know where to find them.
“So I’m right. He doesn’t know.” Luke followed her down the steps. “He can’t be here, but I am, so I can tell you, whoever it is you’re looking for—you should stop.”
“You don’t know me, but know this—I’m not going to stop until I find him.”
Luke stopped and shoved his hands in his pockets as she turned back.
“So you’ll leave me to it?” she asked, surprised.
“I saw you at the bar,” he said, “and I followed you to your bike. I followed you here too.”
She shook her head. “What gives you the right? John didn’t tell you to stalk me—”
“Do you know what I see when I look at you?” he asked, giving her a once over. “I see a frightened girl, slinking through the shadows…”
How dare he…
“… afraid of her own shadow, really.” He pressed his lips together and shrugged. “Always looking over her shoulder.”
Her chest heaved, and her cheeks grew hot.
“You’re afraid to be alone. I could see it when you turned down that dark street the other night. I saw it just now, as you approached the gazebo.”
Why is he saying this to me? Why does he think he can say this to me?
Her lips trembled, and as they parted, she drew in a short breath. He stared her down, his dark eyes piercing through her.
“Stop,” she whispered as tears blurred her vision.
“But the saddest thing is, you’re afraid even in a crowded room full of people. So defensive last night—so presumptuous of others’ motives—you thought the guy who approached you wanted your company instead of the chair beside you.” He shook his head, frowning and staring right into her eyes. “Whoever hurt you—whoever made you this way—they deserve to be put through the hell you’re going through.”
Tears slid down her hot cheeks, cooling her skin, and she brushed them away as her heart raced.
I want to repay them the hell they’ve put me through. The fear they’ve made me feel.
There was no pity in his eyes anymore. No sadness. A steely look of concern had replaced any other emotion as he took a step toward her.
“But in the state you’re in, you can’t go after them,” he said. “Not alone. If you do, what you’re going through now won’t begin to compare to what they’ll put you through if they get to you first. If they know you’re watching them.”
Madigan sniffled and stared at the ground with her hands in her pockets.
There’s nothing left to lose.
“I want to find them,” she muttered.
“Okay, well, then I’ll help you.”
She looked up at him. “I don’t want you following me anymore.”
He nodded.
“I mean it,” she sneered.
“Fine, as long as you understand the risks. Both of these men have gone to great lengths to hurt people. One of them has killed before. They are snakes, willing to bite anyone in their way, and if we aren’t careful—even if we are—we could die.”
I’m not really living anyway.
“I get the risks,” she said right away.
“You’re desperate, and that doesn’t do anyone any good. Get real with yourself. With what you want. If you think you can move on without whatever it is you want to do when you find them, and I hope you can, you won’t see me again. If you decide you want to do this—call me at two.”
“This afternoon?”
He nodded and started walking back the other way down the path.
“What happens at two?” she called.
“You get your wish,” he called without looking back.
Her heart thudded in her ears as he disappeared through the fog and she walked back to her bike.
I need a long drive along Bones Bay. Time to think.
She snapped her helmet on and got on the bike, resting her weight on the seat.
I’m a mess. He called me on it.
Blaze?
Mr. Magic?
She revved her engine and started off down the street toward the bay.
I don’t trust myself anymore, but I need to. I need to if I want to find my attacker.
Luke said he’ll make my wish come true. He’ll show me where to find Blaze and Mr. Magic.
What happens after that? I don’t want it to happen to me again. I don’t want it to happen to anyone else.
What do I really want though?
The answer came easy and clear as she turned onto the next street, with a clear view of the coast.
I want him to pay for what he did.
I want to see the fear in his eyes.
After her trip to South Bend to find an old friend who had disappeared, despite her efforts, she had missed certain clues leading to the answers she needed.
Because I take things too personally. That’s my weakness.
She had turned into the person Luke described because her mission had become an obsession. Taken over her life, because she’d given those traumatic memories that power.
The only reason the truth about what happened to Valerie Hall and Angela Cole had been discovered.
Because I took it personally. Or, maybe, because I took it personally, I derived perseverance from passion. Adrenaline from fear.
It’s my strength and weakness.
That’s what Ames said in not so many words after all that happened in South Bend.
Maybe if I talk to her, she’ll help me again. She knows what it’s like to hunt someone down. To want them to pay for their crimes.
As she reached the coast, she parked her bike and took her cell phone from her bag as waves crashed up onto the shore.
I hope she answers.
She tapped the name Ames and pressed the phone to her ear as it rang.
“Hello?”
“Hey, it's me.”
“How’re you doing? How’s Grace and Buster?”
It’s good to hear your voice.
Tears welled up in her eyes.
“They're good. Both good.” Madigan cleared her throat. “How are you?”
“Same old, same old. Everything okay? You seem... distracted.”
She sniffled her tears away and turned from the road toward the coast. The breeze from the shoreline swept across her face, and a flood of emotions wrestled beneath her surface.
Everything is not okay.
“Things have just been tough lately, you know? I wanted to call, and I want to... run something by you...”
“Of course. What’s up?”
“I know we haven't talked about what happened in South Bend much, but I have a question about the night you went to Dean's alone. You knew it was dangerous. You knew you were on your own. No one to help you. Why did you go?”
The waves rocked up onto the shore during the brief pause in conversation.
Will it be because she didn’t care about the consequences, or because she was confident in herself?
“Because it was the only way I could think to clear your name and find the truth. In that moment, honestly, even Angie left my mind. My sole purpose was to save you. Why do you ask?”
She pressed her lips together, fighting back tears again.
It’s been a while since I’ve felt cared for in that way by anyone but Grace. But it doesn’t help in my situation much…unless…
“What if it had just been your neck on the line? Do you think you'd have gone?”
“Yes,” she answered right away. “If it meant finding the truth and saving myself.”
That’s what I’m trying to do. What it comes down to is, I’m lost, and I’m trying to find my way back. To save myself from what this has done to me and what I’ve become.
I need the truth.
“Do you remember the man I told you about?” Madigan asked, leaning against her bike. “The one who attacked me? I might have a chance at finding him. A real chance. But it’s dangerous.”
“Then be careful and don’t get caught.”
She smiled as strands of dark hair blew across her face.
Of course she’d encourage me. That’s why I called her.
“I wish I had you here. On the other hand, from what I know and what I’ve heard, I’m glad you’re not tangled up in this with me this time.”
“You know if you need me, I’d hop on a plane in a heartbeat. But remember, you don’t need me. You don’t need Grace. You need to trust yourself and your instincts. They won’t steer you wrong.”
I know I need to find myself again and feel good about that, but I can’t do it when he’s out there somewhere. He could come back and hurt me or someone else. I know deep down I can’t live like that.
“I really needed to hear that,” Madigan said with a sigh, shaking her head. “I’ve been a mess lately. I’m glad you can’t see me like this.”
She cleared her throat again and ran her fingers through her hair, brushing it all away from her face, letting the cool breeze calm her.
“You good?” Ames asked. “Need me to come up there and kick some Canadian ass?”
“Oh man, that's tempting,” Madigan laughed. “Trust me. But you're right. I have to do this alone, just like you did. For truth. To save myself.”
“I believe in you. Danger and fear are what your attacker is betting on. Show him who you really are and that you’re not scared, and you’ll have the upper hand.”
But I am scared.
“Fake it ‘til I make it, I guess.” Madigan muttered. “Thank you. Take care, Ames.”
“Be careful, and give ‘em hell.”
Madigan grinned as she ended the call and scanned the coastline before her.
I don’t need to wait until two. I have my answer now.
