She glimpsed Maggie in the hallway and raced to accidentally bump into her on purpose. “So I heard Carrie was in town last weekend while I was gone. Did you two have a good time?” Lynn asked.

  “Yep, except she hogs all the sheets and wants to cuddle all night.”

  “What?”

  “You don’t have to worry about my bad influence. She’s still as straight as they come.”

  “I wasn’t worried, and I’ve never considered you a bad influence on Carrie. In fact, I’ve always thought you were good for her.”

  “Really?”

  She smiled. “Yeah, really. A good influence for both of us.”

  “Well, then maybe you and I should spend more time together.” Maggie lifted an eyebrow and gave her a sexy smile. “I could change your thoughts on that subject if you’d give me a chance.”

  “I’m sure you could.” Lynn was frozen for a moment, realizing the conversation was changing into banter that both excited and terrified her. “We already spend a lot of time together.”

  Maggie leaned near and whispered in her ear. “I mean fun stuff away from here. Carrie mentioned that you and I live in the same apartment complex. Maybe I could come by your place after work?”

  A jolt shot through her as she considered this new development of their living proximity. “Really? I had no idea.”

  “Yep. Second floor, apartment fifteen.” Maggie remained close as she spoke.

  Lynn could smell the subtle scent of lemon and sage body lotion that she remembered and took in a deep breath. She hated to admit it, but she’d missed everything about Maggie—her beautiful, light-blue eyes, her silky, blond hair, her quick wit. And her laughter. But she’d missed her positive attitude the most. With a little twist of her tongue, Maggie could turn any bad situation into something better. Her optimism had brought a shining light into Lynn’s life so long ago when she’d first come home with Carrie. Having any kind of relationship with Maggie had been so far out of reach then, Lynn had never thought she’d have the opportunity to be close to her, yet here she was right back in her life again, closer than she’d ever imagined. Possibly closer than she should be.

  Something caught Lynn’s eye, and she forced her stare from Maggie’s vibrant blue eyes to glance over Maggie’s shoulder. Beth stood not far away in the hallway, watching them intently. Lynn suppressed the shudder that ran through her. It always amazed Lynn how the vision of Beth dressed in a suit perfectly tailored to her figure could make all sensible thoughts jumble in her head. She never debated the fact that Beth was a striking woman physically—six feet tall with short, silvery hair that had morphed from blond in her late thirties, trimmed neatly on her neck, cobalt-blue eyes, and a smile that could melt Lynn in an instant. Just one look from Beth always made her body do things she, to this day, couldn’t prevent. None of that made up for Beth’s inability to form an emotional connection, something Lynn needed for her own well-being and couldn’t live without.

  She immediately stiffened and squared her shoulders. Maggie seemed to notice her sudden discomfort and swung around to see what she was staring at.

  Beth strode closer, nodded, and said, “Lynn, Maggie,” in her monotone doctor voice that Lynn remembered hearing when Beth wasn’t happy about something. Lynn shrugged it off. She didn’t answer to Beth anymore and had nothing to feel guilty about. She was allowed to enjoy herself at work.

  “Hi, Dr. Monroe. It’s good to see you.” Maggie offered her hand, and even though Beth’s stare was intimidating, she made clear eye contact. They quickly shook hands, and Maggie focused back on Lynn, touched her shoulder, and smiled. “I’ll see you around the floor,” she said without hesitation, then turned and rushed off in the other direction, not giving Beth another look.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked.

  “Is that really the question that begs for an answer in this situation?” Beth asked, raising an eyebrow.

  The back of Lynn’s neck burned with heat. She’d known Beth wouldn’t let the contact, although minimal, go without comment. “We’re not married anymore, Beth. I don’t have to explain my actions to you.” She didn’t have to justify them either.

  Beth pulled her eyebrows together. “She’s Carrie’s best friend, and you were overtly flirting with her.”

  “She’s an intern at this hospital, and I was not flirting.” She wasn’t, was she? It was just an everyday conversation about Carrie. She’d tried to stop the banter.

  “I disagree, and that little display I just witnessed leads me to believe she may be more than just an intern to you.” Beth narrowed her eyes.

  Lynn put her hands on her hips. She didn’t have the time or desire to discuss her feelings about Maggie with Beth. “Listen. Whatever is going on in my personal life, whether it’s with Maggie or anyone else, is none of your business.” She looked Beth up and down. “Why are you dressed like that?”

  “I just met with the hospital board about the CEO position.”

  “You’re thinking of moving out of surgery?”

  “Possibly. It would mean a considerable raise and give me some of my life back.”

  “You did lose a lot of that,” she said softly, wondering if things would have turned out differently for them if Beth had made different choices earlier in her career.

  Beth touched her on the cheek. “Maybe I could get some of it back?”

  She covered Beth’s hand with hers, closed her eyes briefly, and took in a breath to settle herself. “Not that part.” She shook her head. “Not from me.” Beth had made many promises in the past that she’d never kept, and Lynn couldn’t depend on anything from her. Especially not future promises that had always gone unfulfilled.

  Beth removed her hand and remained silent for a moment. “You can’t blame me for trying.” She gave her a soft smile.

  She could blame her, but she wouldn’t today. “No, I guess I can’t.” That was a line she would never cross again. Lynn had severed any emotional connection she’d had with Beth long ago, and she wouldn’t act on the physical attraction ever again. Beth had no idea how hard it was for her to stay once she’d made up her mind to leave their marriage the first time. The last year of their relationship had been nothing more than existence for Lynn. Once Beth had moved home again, all the effort she’d been expending to be more present in the relationship had stopped. Beth had gone back to being the person she truly was, a person who should’ve never had a family and honestly didn’t deserve one.

  Beth began spending more and more time at the hospital, and Lynn went back to work being a full-time nurse. Lynn had cultivated her own set of friends at the hospital outside of those she and Beth were usually friendly with and soon realized nothing had changed in their life together. It wasn’t long before Lynn knew she couldn’t continue being second best to Beth’s career. It was like someone had flipped a switch within her, and everything she’d ever felt for Beth suddenly vanished. She was finally free.

  “Just remember that intern won’t have any more time for you than I did.” Beth raised an eyebrow and smirked.

  The heat on the back of her neck flamed again. Lynn wanted to smack that know-it-all look right off her face, but she’d be damned if she’d give her the satisfaction. “Go back to surgery, Beth. There’s nothing in this department for you.”

  Beth’s expression changed, and she seemed sad, almost sullen, like Lynn had taken away her favorite teddy bear. Maybe she really did regret her choices in life. She touched Lynn on the shoulder lightly before she strode toward the elevator but then turned back momentarily. “Wish me luck?”

  She shook her head. “No. I won’t do that. As I recall, you never thought luck had anything to do with the things that mattered.” It was all about dedication and skill.

  “True.” Beth smiled slightly and turned and walked down the hallway.

  Lynn suddenly felt sick to her stomach. She remembered everything about their life together clearly—the homework, the events, the horrible nights when Carrie was sick that she thought she’d never get through. She’d done it all alone, without a single bit of help from Beth. Doctors did miraculous things for other families, but not all of them took the time to do the same for their own.

  Lynn had been the one to make all the sacrifices when Carrie had come into their lives. She’d loved her as though she were her own child. She hadn’t been given a choice of whether to take her and raise her. The irresponsibility of her own sister had brought Carrie into their lives. She was a gift born from tragedy, and Lynn cherished the beautiful girl she’d been given. Nothing would ever change that fact.

  * * *

  From the corner of her eye, Maggie watched Lynn and Beth interact. She wasn’t sure what that vise-grip handshake from Beth was about, but she wasn’t about to lose eye contact with her during it, no matter how much it hurt. She wasn’t Beth’s surgical lead or even on her service, but the woman was intimidating as hell, and Maggie wouldn’t let Lynn know that she made her nervous under any circumstances. Beth would have to do a lot more than crush the bones in her hand to make her give in to any intimidation.

  Beth’s surgical skills had always impressed her, but her personal skills left a lot to be desired. Maggie had sworn she’d never be like that: never send an intern to deliver news that begged for more questions or leave a patient worried about anything she said and definitely never let the woman she loved wonder if she was the most important aspect of her life. When Maggie had a family in the future, her wife and kids would have no doubt about the way she felt about them. She loved medicine, but she didn’t intend to let it overshadow her happiness. Maggie wanted it all—the white picket fence, the wife, the kids, and the career.

  What am I thinking? She shook her head. She was getting way ahead of herself. Kids were a long way off, and she was barely into her first year of residency. She had many long days and nights ahead of her. Not nearly enough spare time to start a relationship, let alone a family. Lynn immediately popped into her head, and she thought maybe she could make room for someone in her life.

  Stacy dropped a tablet in front of her. “Can you look at this and give me a diagnosis?”

  Maggie shrugged out of her thoughts and picked up the tablet. “Sure. What’s going on?”

  “Fifteen years old, heart rate’s up, and she’s presenting like she has the flu, but without fever now.”

  “But she had fever before?”

  “Yep. The mother said it spiked at 102 three days ago.”

  “Light sensitivity?”

  Stacy shook her head.

  “So, what are you thinking?” she asked as she handed the tablet back to Stacy.

  “Probably mono.”

  “That’s what I’d look for. Doesn’t present as meningitis. Did you get the blood work back?”

  “No. Just sent it off a few minutes ago.”

  “You didn’t really need my consult, did you?”

  Stacy smiled. “I saw you talking to Lynn and her ex. What was that about?”

  “Just trying to show me who’s boss.”

  “Did it work?”

  “Fuck, no.” She flattened her lips. “If anything, it made me even more determined to stay present.”

  “Good choice,” Stacy said with a grin. “What’s your next move?”

  “Not sure, but it’ll happen soon. You coming?”

  “Nope. I have another date.”

  “Wow. That’s really working out for you.”

  “Seems to be. Good luck tonight.” Stacy spun around and waved over her shoulder.

  Maggie gripped the counter and took in a breath as she glimpsed Beth leaving Lynn in the hallway. Another factor she’d have to deal with if she continued down this path. Lynn was a spectacular woman, and it seemed everyone knew it.

  Chapter Eleven

  After being on her feet for a good ten hours straight, Maggie had ducked into the doctor’s lounge to take a quick break because her feet were killing her. With them resting on the coffee table in front of her, she’d just cleared the images of the trauma from her mind when she heard the door open and then felt the couch cushion sink as someone sat next to her. She opened one eye slightly to see who had disturbed her zen and found Stacy staring at her.

  “Great. You’re awake.”

  “I am now.”

  Air whooshed out of a bag of potato chips as Stacy opened it. After taking a few, she held the bag out to Maggie.

  “Thanks. I’m starving.” She couldn’t remember the last time she’d eaten. Maybe breakfast? The trauma had come in around lunchtime, and she hadn’t stopped for anything until now.

  “I just wanted to tell you how impressed I was with your triage and diagnosis out there earlier.”

  “You didn’t do so badly yourself. How’d the surgery go?”

  “It was awesome.” Stacy twisted to face her and pulled her leg up underneath her on the couch. “We found a liver laceration while we were in there, and Dr. Cozzi let me stitch it up.” Again, Stacy held out the small bag of chips she was eating from, and Maggie took a few more. The salt would do her good. “Is it weird that I’m so happy about that?”

  Maggie chuckled. “Kinda, but I know what you mean.” And she did. In order for any of the interns to get the education they needed and the satisfaction of performing well, someone had to get injured.

  “You’re going to love the surgical rotation.”

  “I’m sure I will, but I plan to go into general pediatrics, not trauma or surgery. I don’t want a crazy schedule like that. I want a life.”

  “Well, you’re not going to get much of that until you finish your internship and residency.” Stacy looked at her like a lightbulb had gone off in her head. “Hey, maybe we can start a practice together. You handle the everyday stuff and I handle the surgery.”

  Maggie chuckled. “You’re getting way ahead of me, Stace. Let’s get to fourth year and then discuss it.” Stacy was an amazing doctor, with her quick hands and great instincts. There would be worse doctors to go into practice with, but Maggie didn’t want to limit her options just yet. She didn’t know if Baltimore would be the right place for her if it meant having to get used to seeing Lynn living a life without her.

  Lynn stuck her head in the room and glanced around the room.

  “Hey, guess what, Lynn? Mags and I are going into practice together when we’re done here.”

  Lynn’s smile lit up the room, as usual. “That sounds awesome.”

  “Right? I’m going to handle surgery, and Mags will handle the kids in the office.” The excitement in Stacy’s voice was ridiculous, seeing as how that would happen, if it happened, at least four years from now.

  Lynn focused her gaze on Maggie. “No surgery for you, Maggie?”

  “Nope. I don’t want to spend all my time at the hospital.” Maggie was dedicated to the patient side of care. She wanted to make a difference in kids’ lives by interacting and getting to know them as they grew from infancy through adolescence and then on to adulthood. That was the magic of pediatrics that enchanted Maggie. You didn’t have a whole lot of continuity like that in surgery.

  “Oh.” Lynn hesitated like she was processing the information and then seemed to brush it away. “Have either of you seen Dr. Coz?” she asked. The experienced nurses never referred to the doctors by their full name. They either shortened it to the most common syllables or came up with some sort of nickname that fit their personality. Doctors came and went, but nurses usually stayed, and most of them had been there longer than any of the doctors. Lynn had probably used the respectful doctor prefix only because she was talking to first-year interns.

  “Haven’t seen him since the trauma came in earlier.” The coffee table screeched against the floor when Maggie pulled her legs from it and stood. “Anything I can do to help?” She wouldn’t pass up a chance to impress Lynn, no matter how big or small it might be.

  “No, but thanks. I just need clarification on post-op care for the boy he took up to surgery earlier from the car accident.”

  “I can help,” Stacy said as she popped off the couch and went to Lynn. “I assisted.” She took the tablet from Lynn’s hand, made a few extra notes, and handed it back. “How’s that?”

  Maggie crossed the room to the refrigerator, grabbed a soda, opened it, and took a sip as she watched Lynn interact with Stacy.

  “Great. Thanks,” Lynn said and glanced at Maggie.

  A few minutes of silence passed, and Stacy seemed to notice the tension between them. “How about I check on him really quick?”

  “Uh…Okay, thanks.” Lynn handed her the tablet, and Stacy rushed out of the room. “No surgery, really?”

  “No. I like kids. I want to interact with them.”

  “Beth always found surgery so exhilarating. I’m surprised you don’t.”

  “I’m nothing like Beth.” She set her soda on the coffee table and shortened the distance between them. “Don’t you know that by now?”

  “I haven’t seen you in so long, Maggie. I don’t really know much about you at all now.”

  Maggie moved closer and touched Lynn’s hand with her fingers. “We can change that.”

  “You’re so young, Maggie. You have a whole lifetime of people and experiences ahead of you.”

  “Don’t do that.” She shook her head but kept eye contact. “Dismiss me like I’m a child. I’ve known who I want to be since I was ten. And as for who I want to experience my life with, I’ve known that since the day I met you in the garden behind your house.” Maggie touched her cheek. “I still remember the clothes you were wearing and the way the wind tousled your hair. That sweet smile and pink cheeks that the sun kissed softly. Your beautiful, welcoming, green eyes.”

  Lynn closed her eyes as she leaned her face into Maggie’s hand and placed her hand on top of it. “That was long ago, Maggie.”

  “Seems like just yesterday to me.” Maggie’s heart pounded against her ribs as she stroked Lynn’s cheek with her thumb, absorbing the softness of her skin. “I want that back.” She’d held her feelings in long enough, and it felt good to let go. They were so close now, Maggie could feel Lynn’s breath on her lips. All it would take was one more inch to put them together, and Maggie took it.

 

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