Perfect timing, p.10
Perfect Timing, page 10
Lynn moved quickly, and Maggie’s lips landed on her cheek. “I can’t go back to that place in my life,” she whispered into her ear. “You have no idea how hard it was for me to get past it. I’m happy with my life now.”
“I know.” Maggie let her hand drop to her side, backed up, blinked a few times, and glanced across the room to keep her eyes from welling. “You’re married to Pam now, and she’s wonderful.”
“I’m not married to Pam.” Lynn blew out a breath. “She’s very happily married to someone else.”
“What?” Maggie snapped her eyes back to Lynn. “I thought the two of you were a solid couple.”
“I let you believe that because I thought it would be easier for you to let go.”
“Are you fucking kidding me?” Maggie spun around and paced across the room. “Do you have any idea how knotted up I’ve been since I got here because I thought you were in love with someone else?” It had been the most miserable few weeks of her life. She couldn’t even enjoy the news that Lynn wasn’t involved with Pam because she was so angry right now.
“You just assumed and I let you.” Lynn chewed on her bottom lip. “I shouldn’t have, but when I realized what had happened, I thought it would be best to just go with it.”
“And here I thought you didn’t want anything to do with me because you’d fallen in love with someone else.” She blew out a breath. “I guess I know where I stand now.” It seemed Lynn didn’t want to be with her, period. No other reason than that.
“Friends, Maggie. Can we just be that for now?”
“Yeah, sure. Friends. I can do that.” She wanted to say so much more but couldn’t. She would only push Lynn further away. “So work is the extent of your willingness to see me?” Now that she knew Lynn was free, it would be gut-wrenching at best to see her and not be able to touch her, like trying to hold lightning in a bottle, but she had no choice.
Lynn nodded. “Yeah. That and softball. If it makes you feel any better, I’m not interested in anything more than that with anyone. I like my life the way it is now. Uncomplicated.”
Softball would be only once every few weeks. “Well, thanks for finally letting me know.” She couldn’t remember how many people she’d commented to about Pam and Lynn, trying to gain more information, but it was enough to make everyone think she was crazy for sure, since absolutely nothing was going on between them. She’d probably started a whole lot of rumors that Pam had to contain. Her wife must be either really understanding or totally pissed off by now.
* * *
As the day continued, this newfound information had Maggie stewing herself into a ridiculous frenzy. She was angry that Lynn had let her go on believing she was involved with Pam, yet thrilled that she wasn’t in a relationship. Also, Lynn hadn’t given her a firm no on the future, hadn’t said something between them was out of the question.
The tablet slapped against the counter when Maggie dropped it. “They’re not married.”
“Who?” Russell asked.
“Lynn and Pam.”
“Not to each other.” From the smile on Russell’s face, it was clear that he enjoyed delivering the news. Maggie really liked him but was realizing he could be a real ass sometimes.
“Did you know that too?” she asked, giving Stacy her attention.
“Not until the other day. Russell got pulled in to assist with one of Pam’s surgeries. He had to get her wife on the phone during the procedure to let her know she was running late.”
“Her wife’s a pediatrician and has a practice in the physicians’ building.” Russell chimed in again before he headed off to see another patient.
Stacy moved closer and whispered, “I also heard Lynn is divorced from the head of surgery, but I don’t know if she’s involved with anyone else.”
“She’s not.” She closed her eyes and thought about what she’d said to Pam the morning after she’d gotten drunk and what she’d overheard her and Lynn saying outside the room. Pam was telling her that she needed to tell her the truth, that they weren’t involved. “This is so embarrassing. Everyone must think I’m crazy.”
“No worries. We’ve all been there, right? I mean I was there just last week with Russell.” Stacy rubbed her back. “At least now you have a shot.”
Did she really? This whole time, she’d thought Pam and Lynn were involved. Lynn hadn’t told her differently. She’d just let Maggie go on believing it was true. Why? Was the thought of being with Maggie so terrible?
“Maybe, but now I need a plan.”
Stacy rubbed her hands together. “I was hoping you wouldn’t give up.”
“She only wants to be friends.”
Stacy’s eyebrows flew up. “Did she say that?”
She nodded. “Won’t spend any time with me outside of work except for softball.”
“Is she involved with someone else?”
“No. She says she’s happy with it that way, doesn’t want to complicate her life.”
“I say, you prove her wrong. Make her want to complicate it, make her want to complicate it with you.”
Maggie leaned against the counter and smiled. “You look so sweet on the outside, but you’re a devious rule breaker, aren’t you?”
“Any chance I get when it doesn’t involve my own love life.” She slid the tablet back into its slot. “I’m hungry. Let’s grab a snack and do a little plotting.”
* * *
Maggie soaked in the air-conditioning while the sunlight beamed through her windshield as she sat in her car in the softball-field parking lot. Stacy’s plotting made her realize that every decision wasn’t created in stone. The sculptor could chisel away at an incomplete sculpture and create something completely new.
Maggie would find a way to change her visibility in Lynn’s life. She would do just as Stacy suggested and be the best complication Lynn could ever imagine. She’d started by checking the softball schedule to see when and where Lynn’s team played, which just happened to be tonight. She planned to be at each of them. She wasn’t about to fade into the black death of friendship.
“Are you playing today?” Andi’s dark ponytail swung as she looked at the field and then back at Maggie.
“No. Just here to watch.” As she headed to the bleachers, Maggie watched Andi run into the dugout and caught a glimpse of Lynn watching her. She waved, and Lynn waved back before she sat down on the bench.
The ballgame was a blur, and by the time Maggie arrived at the pizza place, the table was packed. Andi saw her enter and waved her down to the end where she was sitting with her group of friends. She stood up and prompted the girl next to her to move to the chair at the end of the table. Andi had already decided where Maggie sat, without any input from her, which was fine. At least someone wanted her company. It wasn’t like Lynn had saved her a seat. Maggie took the chair Andi offered between her and one of her friends and introduced her to them all. Bev, Jamie, Rhonda, and Rita. She recited the names in her head, but she was distracted and knew the names would be lost in her memory by the end of the night. She could forget names, but not the way Lynn looked in her softball gear tonight. Her baseball pants were just tight enough to let Maggie’s imagination run wild about what was underneath. She had perfect form as she vaulted from a squat, arm muscles flexing as she fired the ball back to the pitcher.
“Beer?” Andi asked.
“Sure.” Maggie tried her best not to turn her head and glance at Lynn.
Andi filled the last empty mug with beer from the pitcher and slid it in front of her. Maggie took a gulp and let the cold brew cool her. The field had been hot today, and sitting in the stands had been almost unbearable. She could only imagine how hot it had been in the dugout. Women who oozed the pungent scent of sports surrounded her, and that was okay. She loved being part of a team sport, and that odor came with it.
The game had been pretty one-sided. Bat Intentions was good, with a combination of doctors, nurses, and paramedics on the team. All the women varied in size, which gave them great hitters and fast runners. Their normal pitcher, The Heater, as Andi had referred to her before, was there tonight. She was also known as Heather, Pam’s wife, which was very apparent from the way they interacted.
“You’re on the Heavy Hitters, right?” Andi asked.
She nodded.
“So what brought you to the game tonight?”
She glanced down at the other end of the long table, where Lynn, Pam, and Heather were seated.
“Oh, that’s right. You’re a friend of the doc’s.”
“I’d call her more of a mentor. She’s been good to me.” She was interested in Andi but having a hard time keeping her eyes from drifting toward Lynn. “So, what made you want to become a paramedic?”
“My dad was a firefighter, and I always admired the way he helped people even when he was off duty.”
“So you’re a firefighter and a paramedic?”
“No, just a paramedic. Having the courage to run into a burning building is impressive, but I could never do it on a regular basis. So I left that part to my dad.”
“Still, handling medical situations on the fly in all kinds of conditions is impressive as well.”
“Not really.” Andi shrugged. “It’s just what I do.”
Maggie smiled at her humbleness. “What’s your favorite part of the job?”
“Honestly?”
“Of course.”
“Having the ability to help someone.”
“I know what you mean about the helping-people part, but doing it anywhere sounds stressful.”
Andi chuckled. “It was at first. I was terrified. But after a lot of practice I got used to it, and now it’s kind of second nature.”
“Well, Andi, I have to say I admire you for that.”
Andi’s cheeks reddened, and she looked away before she took a drink of her beer.
“I’ll be right back.” Maggie went to the bathroom and was surprised when Lynn met her at the door as she came out.
“Andi seems to like you. You should take advantage of that possibility,” Lynn said softly as she propped her shoulder against the wall in the small hallway.
She leaned against the wall as well and stared into Lynn’s eyes. “Should I?”
Judging by Lynn’s body language, she didn’t seem too certain of her advice.
“Why not? She’s cute, sweet, and around your age.”
“Really?” She rolled her eyes and shook her head. “I don’t need a matchmaker, Lynn.” She pushed off the wall. “I’m not looking for relationship advice from anyone—especially you. If you think Andi’s so special, why don’t you hang out with her for a while.”
“Calm down.” Lynn glanced over her shoulder. “Why are you so angry?”
“I don’t want to calm down. You have no idea how hard this is for me.”
Lynn’s eyebrows flew up. “I have a pretty good idea.”
“Then stop trying to push me into something with someone else.” She raced past her to the door and left the place as quickly as she could. Once she was outside she braced herself against the building. How horrible of her. What would Andi think of her leaving like that, without even saying good-bye? She didn’t have anything against her. In fact, Andi had been nothing but super-sweet to her the whole evening. She’d just made up her mind to go back inside and tell her she was leaving, when Andi came out the door.
“Lynn said you left. Are you okay?”
“I’ve been better.” She sighed. “Listen. I really like you, Andi, and you may not have anything else in mind for us besides friendship, but I have to let you know that my heart isn’t open to anything but that right now.”
Andi scrunched her eyebrows. “Bad breakup?”
“No. It’s something that never really got started, and I can’t let it go just yet.”
Andi rolled her lips in and shook her head. “Friends it is.” She hooked her thumb over her shoulder toward the door. “You want to come back in and have another beer?”
“Thanks, but I’m just going to take off.”
“Okay. I’ll walk you to your car.”
“You don’t have to do that.”
“Yeah, I do. It’s getting dark, and you’re kind of tiny.”
Maggie chuckled, and they walked the short distance to her car. It was getting dark, but Maggie wasn’t really that tiny. Well, maybe compared to Andi. She stopped in front of the silver Honda Civic. “This is me.”
“Will I see you at the next game?” Andi opened her arms in front of her.
“Count on it.” She moved into Andi’s arms, and Andi gave her a long hug. Once she was in her car, she watched Andi go back inside and cursed herself for not being able to move on. Lynn was right. Andi was cute and sweet, and from her reaction a few minutes ago, it seemed she was interested. But Maggie just couldn’t follow that path until the other one ran its course.
Chapter Twelve
Maggie was late, the game was almost over, but it had been a hell of a week at work. Having Lynn purposely avoid her the past few days had topped it off. It was probably for the best, considering the conversation they’d had after the last baseball game, but she had committed to being present and in Lynn’s line of sight whether she liked it or not, and that was exactly what she planned to do.
After the way Maggie had left the previous game’s after-pizza get-together, she hadn’t expected the frantic wave Andi gave her as she strolled toward the field. Andi had been very sweet about the whole situation. She sprinted out of the dugout and met Maggie halfway, swept her into a hug, and squeezed her.
“How are you doing today, champ?” Andi asked with a huge smile as she dropped her to the ground.
“I’m better now.” She couldn’t stop the grin from taking over her face. “I should schedule a hug from you every day.”
“That’s what I like to hear.” Andi pointed to the bleachers behind the dugout. “The game’s almost over, but we’re going for pizza after.”
“That’s why I’m here.” And to keep herself present in Lynn’s mind. Maggie glanced into the dugout. She’d never seen this particular look on Lynn’s face before and thought it best not to explore it right now. Unintentionally, she was stirring up the jealousy demons in Lynn, and it felt good to know she really did care. She waved and headed up the bleachers, finding a seat so she could watch the last inning of the game.
When she arrived at the restaurant, she didn’t hesitate to enter, and even though she spotted an empty seat next to Lynn, she chose to take one with Andi and her friends. She needed a safe zone right now. The pizza had already been ordered, and a mug of beer was waiting for her in front of the empty chair next to Andi, who immediately stood and pulled out the chair for her. She kind of liked being pampered.
Maggie enjoyed the weird stories about what happened to Andi and her friends on ambulance calls, and after her third slice of pizza, she was afraid she might explode. She heard laughter from the other end of the table and saw that Pam had gotten up from her chair and was mixing with others still seated on her side of the table. When she made her way to the end where Maggie was sitting, Pam leaned down, patted her shoulder, and whispered in her ear. “You seem to be having fun, and you’re doing a hell of a good job of keeping someone’s interest.”
“I am having fun.” She glanced to the other end of the table to find Lynn watching them. “That’s good to hear, but it’s not my intent.”
“Why don’t you come join us for a few minutes?” Pam asked.
She smiled. “I really am having a good time at this end of the table, so maybe next game?”
“You’re playing with fire, girl. I hope you can juggle it.” Pam chuckled as she walked around the table and back to her seat.
Maggie forced herself not to look that way. She didn’t want to drop everything she was doing and everyone she was with when someone sparked an interest romantically. Even if it was Lynn. She wasn’t lying to Pam or herself. She really did like Andi and her friends Bev, Jamie, Rhonda, and Rita. They were beautiful people who made her feel comfortable without any strings attached. She felt part of something and hadn’t had anything close to that feeling since she’d entered medical school. Even though other students had taken the journey with her, it was a solitary adventure, and the loneliness could be unbearable at times. She’d been invited in and wanted to be part of this softball tribe.
“The doc?” Andi scrunched up her nose. “Really? You know she’s married to The Heater.” The Heater was Heather’s nickname because she could fire a fastball pitch harder than anyone else in the league.
“You don’t think I should go after her?” Maggie said with a chuckle.
Andi smiled widely. “She’d be a challenge, but hey. If that’s who you’re stuck on, go for it.”
Maggie laughed out loud. “You’re such a team player. You know that?”
Andi shrugged. “I do what I can.”
“Although Pam is all-around adorable, it’s not her.”
Andi glanced over her shoulder. “Ooh. It’s the nurse.” She stared down the table.
Maggie couldn’t stop herself from glancing over her shoulder as well. Pam had taken her seat next to Lynn and was whispering in her ear. When Lynn looked Maggie’s way and stared back at her, the disappointment on her face was clear, and Maggie didn’t know how to feel. Hadn’t Lynn told her more than once she only wanted to be friends? Did being available whenever Lynn wanted her company constitute friendship? Maybe all this being-present stuff was actually working. She forced herself to stay seated and focused on Andi again. It was bad of her, but Maggie found the feeling very satisfying in an odd sort of way. Lynn must’ve expected her to jump up and run to her like a little puppy dog.
“Whoa,” Andi said. “Something’s clearly going on between you two.”
She let out a sigh. “Only in my mind. A one-sided romance does not a couple make.”
“From the look you just got and the daggers I’m feeling now, I don’t think it’s all one-sided.” Andi leaned back in her chair and smiled. “You want to talk about it?” She was the sweetest person ever. She’d totally backed off romantically, and here she was wanting to help with whatever she had going on with Lynn.
