She closed the video-call window without waiting for his good-bye and sprinted down the stairs. Who could it be? Julie had a key and normally let herself in without knocking or ringing the doorbell. Could it be…? No. Too much time had passed, and the texts from Ming had stopped several months ago.

  Perry’s anger, after a few sessions with her new therapist, had burned out, and she realized now that she should have given Ming a chance to explain. She didn’t really believe Ming had intentionally used her. Their relationship had been brief but deep. What was more, Ming’s podcast was also silent. Neither had taken advantage of the subscriber boost from the vlog. She should go to Ming and talk things out, if she would still speak to her. It was just…well, she was too ashamed and didn’t know what she should say. Still, a small flame of hope flickered in her chest as she opened the door.

  “Mrs. Mayberry, hi.”

  “Hello, dear. I think one of your pups got out, and he’s been sitting here whining to be let in.”

  “I don’t still—” Perry stopped mid-sentence when she looked down to see what was bumping against her leg. “Tucker!”

  “He’s such a fine little dog, and I was afraid he might run into the street and get hit by a car.”

  Mrs. Mayberry prattled on as Perry scooped him into her arms and he licked her face. She’d missed him so much her eyes filled with tears as she returned his licks with kisses to his head.

  “Oh, dear. I didn’t mean to upset you by mentioning the street,” Mrs. Mayberry said, apparently flustered by Perry’s tears. “He appears to be fine. I don’t think any harm came to him.”

  Perry wiped at her face, even though Tucker had already licked her tears away. “I’m sorry. Actually, I was just fostering the dogs. Tucker has a great new home with a wonderful owner who lives about ten blocks from here. He must have gotten out, became confused, and came here instead of going to his new home. I’m so glad he didn’t get hit on the way here. I’ll give his owner a call to come get him.”

  Mrs. Mayberry gave her an odd look. “I’m sure she’s very nice, but it looks to me like you two belong together.” She fluttered her hand in the air, dismissing the thought. “Don’t pay any mind to me. I’m just prattling on. You have a good day now.”

  Perry took Tucker inside and put him down on the couch next to her, but he crawled back into her lap, pressing himself against her chest in a doggie hug. She couldn’t resist putting her arms around him again and holding him tight while she kissed the top of his head. He relaxed against her. He was wearing a new collar with his name stitched into it, and a blue tag that dangled next to his rabies license was engraved with Gigi’s phone number.

  She sniffed and cleared her throat. Gigi must be frantic looking for him. “SHA, call—” She recited the phone number.

  “Calling.”

  It rang only twice before Gigi answered. “Hello?”

  “Hi, Gigi. This is Perry Chandler. Tucker just showed up at my house.”

  “Great. I’m glad you were home. I’ll be right over.”

  “Wait. I didn’t give you the address.”

  “Do you live at 3232 Brightleaf?”

  “Uh, yeah. Yes, I do. How did you know?”

  “I’ll explain when I get there. See you in a few minutes.”

  Tucker pressed harder into Perry’s chest at the sound of Gigi’s voice.

  “It’s okay, Tuck. She’ll be here shortly.”

  But Gigi arrived carrying more than his leash. When Perry answered the doorbell, Tucker still in her arms, she found his food, bed, and a box of dog toys on the stoop, and Gigi was wrestling his wire crate out of her trunk.

  “What’s all this?” she asked when Gigi set the crate next to Tucker’s other things.

  Gigi reached out to scratch Tucker’s chest, and he licked her hand. “This smart little fellow obviously has chosen you, so I’m returning him. I don’t want the adoption fee back or anything.”

  “I don’t understand. I was sure you were a good match for him.”

  Gigi sighed but smiled. “I am, and we’ve become good friends, but he’d already chosen you.”

  “But—”

  “He’s really smart. I think that when we saw you near the dog park, he remembered the way from the park to here. This is the third time I’ve retrieved him from this porch, so I figured this had to be your address.”

  “I didn’t know.”

  Gigi laid her hand on Perry’s arm. “You’ll break his little heart if you don’t keep him. But if you can’t, Ming needs to find him a home with somebody who doesn’t live in this neighborhood. No matter how much he likes me, he’s going to keep running away to come back to you because we live so near each other. I’m sorry. He’s a really fine little guy. It’s going to be hard to replace him, but I’ve got a few leads on puppies from a group that rescues Jack Russell terriers.”

  Perry stood flummoxed as she watched Gigi get into her car and leave. She looked over at Mrs. Mayberry, who was conveniently weeding her flowerbed.

  “You’ll break his little heart if you don’t keep him,” she said without looking up.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Ming stood next to the chair where Mee-maw sat and watched while the Shoshoni shaman chanted and waved a smoking bundle of sage in and around the greenhouses.

  Her seedlings still were not flourishing despite consulting with Collin and precisely monitoring water, sunshine, and fertilizer for each group of plants. So, when the ninety-six-year-old Cutter matriarch showed up personally with a Shoshoni shaman to purify the new greenhouses, she consented. What could it hurt?

  She was caught off guard again when her uncle drove up with her own grandmother in his passenger seat.

  “Hey. What a nice surprise. You should have told me you were coming.” Ming helped her grandmother from the car. “I would have prepared something special for lunch.”

  “We brought lunch with us, sweetie, and we’ve got plenty for everyone. I wanted to see this farm that’s kept you so busy you keep missing our usual restaurant date.”

  Ming led them over to where Mee-maw sat. “Mrs. Cutter, this is my grandmother, Song Lee, and my uncle, Frank Lee.”

  Mee-maw rose gingerly from her chair, tugged her mask down briefly so they could see her face, and nodded, rather than accepting Uncle Frank’s offered handshake. “Song. What a beautiful name. Pleased to meet you. Sorry for not taking your hand, but at my age, I have to be careful about germs. I’m Leone Cutter, but I’m just Mee-maw to everyone around here. Or you can call me Leone.”

  “We’re pleased to meet you, too,” Song said, pulling up the colorful scarf around her neck to cover her lower face. “Frank, will you get my chair out of the trunk, please.”

  “I’ve got several more just inside the barn, Grandmother.” Ming pointed to the old barn, freshly painted and equipped with a new set of solar panels. “Can you get them, Uncle Frank?”

  “Sure thing.” He pulled a mask from his pocket, then headed for the barn.

  He returned quickly with the chairs, and everybody, including Ming, sat to watch.

  The shaman wore jeans, a plaid flannel shirt, and work boots, but a white feather was braided into his shoulder-length, glossy black hair, and several strings of various beads hung around his neck. He chanted in a language Ming didn’t recognize as he fanned the sage around the doors of the greenhouses.

  “Can you explain to me what’s happening here?” Song directed the question to Ming, but Mee-maw answered.

  “Ming’s plants aren’t thriving like they should, even though she’s doing everything right. Joseph is a Shoshoni shaman. He’s making sure there aren’t any spirits that are uncertain about your granddaughter being here.”

  Song nodded. “Ming, I need a small rug from your house.”

  “Grandmother, you don’t need—”

  Song shot her a hard look that instantly silenced her.

  “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

  When Ming returned, her grandmother took the rug and approached Joseph. She couldn’t hear what they were saying, but after a brief conversation, Song spread the rug on the ground in front of the greenhouses and carefully lowered herself into a lotus position. She closed her eyes and became very still.

  “Your grandmother is a shaman among your people?” Mee-maw asked.

  Ming choked back a laugh. “She was born here in California and, as far as I know, has never traveled outside the United States. She goes to a Unitarian church because she likes the social activities they offer, but I’ve never known her to be very religious.”

  “Maybe you don’t know her as well as you think. She has a strong spirit. I could feel it the minute they drove onto this property.” She smiled at Frank and shrugged. “Your uncle, not so much. Men seldom have the strength of spirit that blesses many women. It’s not their fault. They are warriors and protectors, which requires strong focus and closes their minds to other things.”

  After a few minutes, Joseph extinguished his sage and lowered himself to the ground near Song’s left elbow, mimicking Song’s position. Song rested her hands on her knees with palms turned skyward, whereas Joseph turned his down over his knees.

  “I hope this doesn’t take much longer. I’m starving,” Frank grumbled. “Are you sure she hasn’t fallen asleep?”

  “Hush, Uncle Frank. It’s not going to hurt you to have lunch thirty minutes later than usual.” Ming loved the grumpy old curmudgeon, because under his crusty exterior was a soft sweetheart she had always been able to charm to do her bidding.

  “I might pass out from hunger. I have low blood sugar, you know.”

  She ignored his typical complaint because Joseph was standing again and offering a hand to help her grandmother up.

  “Well?” Ming asked when they approached.

  “Let’s go unpack lunch. We brought plenty, if Joseph and Leone would like to stay.”

  “We would be delighted, if Joseph doesn’t have to be somewhere.”

  “I never turn down a free meal,” he said.

  Molly clearly agreed, following them to the terrace because Song would slip her a few morsels when Ming wasn’t watching.

  They feasted on cups of broccoli-and-cheddar soup, shrimp salad, and chicken pot stickers, in case anyone was allergic to shellfish, but Ming lost her patience before dessert.

  “Do you two have any insights about why my plants aren’t growing very well?”

  Joseph looked contemplative as he sipped from his glass of water. “The spirits are happy you are here. The sky and earth welcome you and are not blocking your plants from growing.”

  “So, what’s the problem?”

  Joseph didn’t answer but looked to Song, who reached for Ming’s hand and clasped it.

  “You are, sweetie.”

  “I am?”

  “I could feel it the moment I got out of the car. I’ve known you all your life, and I’ve never seen you so sad and out of balance. Maybe this move seemed like a good idea but wasn’t the fix you were hoping it’d be. I feel like you’ve made a wrong turn off your life path. Have you been taking time to meditate?”

  “Yes, every morning.” Ming stared at her lap, willing herself not to cry. “You’re wrong. I am on the right path.”

  “Then something else is wrong, and until you are able to center yourself, those little plants will wilt from your distress. What is it, baby girl? You’ve always talked to me about everything. Don’t be bashful. We all can feel your hurt. Well, maybe not Frank, but the rest of us can.”

  “I can too,” Frank said, his deep, gravelly voice gentle. “I hate seeing you so sad. It’s not a good look on you.”

  Tears dropped onto her lap, their concern overwhelming her. Molly pawed at her leg, and she reached down to lift the dog into her lap. She was surprised to find Molly lighter than she’d expected. Had she lost weight? Was she also wilting under Ming’s sadness? She clutched her to her chest, and Molly licked her arm. “I screwed up, and Perry doesn’t want to see me anymore.”

  “The woman Ben said was out here with you the night before we signed the papers to sell you this place?” Mee-maw asked.

  Ming nodded.

  “Who? Why haven’t I met her?” Song’s words were disapproving, but her eyes held pain.

  “Did this girl break your heart?” Frank asked. “I’ll take care of her. I know people who can do it.”

  Song slapped his arm. “You do not.”

  Joseph was nodding. “This makes sense now. I understand why I see a half-person when I look at you.” He made a series of signs that had Mee-maw nodding in agreement. Then he went to his battered hatchback and began to rummage among some boxes in the back of it.

  Song moved closer and stroked Ming’s hair. The gesture had comforted her through many childhood hurts. Molly gave her arm a few more licks.

  “Your feelings for this Perry must be very deep for you to hold them so close that you hadn’t even told me about her.”

  Ming nodded, drying her tears with her napkin. “I think…I think I fell in love with her.” She finally looked up into her grandmother’s eyes. “I did. I do…love her. But I did something…not intentionally…and she feels I betrayed her. I didn’t understand then, but what I did dredged up a very deep sorrow from her childhood. Now, she won’t even talk to me so I can explain.”

  “Sounds to me like she doesn’t deserve you,” Frank said.

  “She’s very hurt, and I can’t fix it.”

  Molly snorted and shook her head so hard her ears flapped. Apparently, she didn’t agree.

  Joseph returned and placed a pill bottle filled with leaves on the table in front of her. “You’ve been moving very fast recently to remove many toxic things in your life. Maybe too fast and were not careful in sorting the bad from the good. You should act soon before the river of life carries this love truly out of reach, and you spoil this piece of earth entrusted to you.”

  “I don’t know what to do,” Ming said. “Her best friend said I should wait and let Perry come to me, but she hasn’t. It’s been weeks, and I’m wondering if the friend was jealous of our relationship and intentionally gave me bad advice.”

  “Use all of these leaves to make a tea and drink it one hour before sundown,” Joseph said. “Then go to your ridge and meditate on all the good times with her and review every step that led to your parting. Ask the sun to burn away the righteousness you still carry as justification for your actions. When the sun sets, go to the lake and bare yourself to wash away the ashes. Then you will know what to do. Go to the ridge the next night and take the largest lantern you have—it’s too dangerous to make a fire—to illuminate the path between the two of you and call to her. She will come.”

  Frank harrumphed. “Or you can just go bang on her door until she gives in and listens to what you have to say.” Song and Mee-maw pinned him with double-barrel glares, and he threw his hands up. “But what do I know?” He stood and gathered some dishes to take inside, pausing to bend down and kiss Ming’s cheek. “Just do something. I hate seeing you so sad.”

  Ming reached up to squeeze his forearm, acknowledging his affection and effort to help. He went inside with the dishes, and she turned back to Joseph. “I’m a naturopathic doctor.” She held up the bottle of leaves. “What’s in this?”

  He smiled. “Today you are not a doctor. You are my patient. It’s a Shoshoni remedy I won’t share with you now, but perhaps after we know each other better, we can trade our secrets.”

  She studied him.

  “You must get past your distrust of everything,” Song said. “It’s always held you back. You are always on guard, expecting people to react badly to you being gay or make assumptions about your beautiful Asian features. Sometimes, their words or actions are unintentional, like you say yours were. You have to give them a chance to understand, just like you want Perry to understand you didn’t realize your mistake until it was too late.”

  This wasn’t the first life lesson her grandmother had explained to her, and it wouldn’t be the last.

  “My apologies, Joseph. I meant no disrespect. Only voicing my curiosity. I’ll follow your instructions and look forward to learning anything you can teach me.”

  * * *

  Ming drank Joseph’s tea even though she was suspicious that it included something akin to smoking peyote or consuming some other mild hallucinogenic. Then, as her body began to relax, she closed her eyes to remember her moments with Perry.

  She recalled Perry at the outdoor restaurant, animated and motioning with her hands as she told her about a lizard the dogs had brought inside and chased all over her bedroom. She remembered Tucker listening intently as Perry explained her business problem to him as if he could understand, then playfully scratched and tickled him when voicing the problem helped her realize the solution. She could almost feel Perry’s soft skin and hard nipples as they made love. And she cried with the memory of Perry’s eyes as they lay together postorgasm, and she’d seen more than lust and affection. She’d seen love.

  She replayed in her mind every moment of that wretched vlog. She recalled Perry’s face when she walked onto the stage. She easily recalled her shocked expression but now saw more. Hurt. Disbelief. She recognized how cavalier her chat with Rayna appeared as trust drained from Perry’s eyes and her expression turned hard as stone.

  The sun slowly set, but she stayed seated on the ridge until her tears dried and the full moon rose, lighting her path to the lake. She stripped nude to walk into the warm water, letting it wash away her shame.

  Then what she should do next came to her like the stars popping into the midnight sky.

  * * *

  She slept only a few hours before rising refreshed to type the script for the podcast she was about to air. Five minutes until airtime, she closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, praying to any spiritual being that would listen. Please let Perry hear me.

 

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