Evie interrupted, p.9
Evie Interrupted, page 9
“I’ve got to go.”
I tried to pass him, but he blocked me with his body.
“What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. I just need to go. I’m sorry.”
Not sticking around to hear his response, I made a beeline for the door, leaving him in the middle of the pizzeria, dazed and confused. Rain pelted my face the entire jog to the car. I could have kicked myself for not checking my phone earlier. This proved, without a shadow of a doubt, that I couldn’t have Butler in my life in any way, shape, or form. He was too distracting. Not once did I think of checking on my mom while I was with him. What a shitty daughter! All it took was a good-looking guy and I forgot all about the most important person in my life. I’d never forgive myself if something happened to her.
Memories
It was fall break at Harvard and the first weekend I’d been back home since leaving for my first semester. I felt so different walking through the door of my childhood home. More adult. More independent. I was excited to see my parents, but since Mom had visited me at school a couple of times, this long weekend was a chance to reconnect with my girl, Maine. With me out of town, and Maine busy with her classes, we hadn’t been able to see each other except for nightly FaceTime calls.
My first night home was spent the way a lot of nights in high school were spent: watching movies, eating junk food, and talking about our dreams and latest crushes. The second night it was time to hit the town. Well, as much as two nineteen-year-old girls could hit the town. There was only one club that allowed underagers in to dance and drink nonalcoholic drinks. Maine and I got a nice buzz going at her house before Ubering our way to Plum Crazies at around 11 p.m.
We danced and flirted with cute boys all night long, getting a few of the guys to buy us just enough alcohol to maintain our buzz. I had no idea what time it was when we slipped into the booth at the IHOP. The night went by so fast, I didn’t think it could possibly be that late until I saw her walking toward me.
“Hey, Ev, is that your mom?” Maine said, confused.
“Yeah, I wonder what she’s doing here?”
I had no idea why my mother was here. By the look on her face it wasn’t to eat an endless stack of pancakes.
She stopped at our booth but didn’t make a move to sit. “Evelyne Rose Chapman, do you have any idea what time it is?”
Evie, she just three named you. Resist the urge to be a smartass.
“Time for a Rooty Tooty Fresh N’ Fruity?” I said.
“Do not get smart with me, missy.”
“Yeah, Ev. Besides your mom looks more like a crepe kind of lady. Am I right, Mrs. C?”
Mom’s enraged demeanor softened a bit. “I do enjoy a good crepe. But that’s not the point.” Her emerald eyes nailed me. “I woke up and saw that it was 2:30 a.m. I went to check on you to make sure you got home safely, and, to my horror, your bed was empty.”
“That’s because I’m here.”
“Do the two of you have any idea of all the terrible things that could have happened to you? I was scared to death.”
“You were scared about me too?” Maine said.
“Of course, I was, Maine,” Mom fumed.
“Aw, thanks. That fills my heart with so much joy,” Maine said, her eyes misting over.
Maine was an emotional drunk. Without fail, she cried at least once whenever she had had too much to drink.
“Holy shit, Ev! The two hot guys who were all into us at Plums just walked in.”
“Mom, please, I beg of you not to make a scene.”
“Well, isn’t that a wonderful response after giving me a heart attack.” Each word was soaked in sarcasm.
I had to do something quick to get us out of this place before the two hotties spotted us. Between Mom’s fury and the sloppy drunk that was my best friend, embarrassment was just around the corner.
“Mom, I’m sorry I caused you to worry. But at school I always go out late and stay out late. It’s no big deal.”
“It’s a big deal to me. Evie, if anything ever happened to you, I’d never forgive myself.”
“You can’t watch me 24/7. I mean, what did you think I was doing at school on the weekends?”
“Studying and getting the education we sent you there to get.”
I chuckled. “Certainly, you knew I was doing more than just that.”
“No, I did not.”
“Well, I have an eye opener for you—”
“Ev, hot guys at 4 o’clock, spotted us, and headed this way.”
“Mom, ple-e-e-ase,” I begged, my gaze flitting between her and the guys getting closer by the second.
“You have ten minutes. I’ll be waiting in the car. Evelyne, we will have a lengthy discussion before you head back to school,” she said then turned and marched out the door.
My lungs deflated with relief.
Present
As I drove home a thousand possible scenarios flashed through my mind, none of them good. I knew it was a stupid idea to go out today and leave Maine in charge. Mom needed me. She was comfortable with me. She trusted me. I knew her moods and her signals. I should have listened to my gut and stayed with her.
In what felt like one continuous movement, I pulled into the driveway and ran up the front steps into the house. The first odd thing I noticed was that Linus wasn’t at the door to greet me. My heart pounded against my chest. The only time he didn’t come to the door was when Mom was sick. He stuck to her side as if he were glued there when she wasn’t feeling well.
Suddenly a loud high-pitched shriek came from the family room. I tossed my purse on the kitchen counter and rushed down the steps to find Maine sitting next to my mom on the sofa painting her fingernails and Linus laying contently at the other end of the sofa sleeping.
Looking up, Maine seemed surprised to see me. “Hey, how was your date?”
“What’s going on?” I said, almost out of breath.
“We’re having a spa day. She got excited when she saw the color. Miss Evelyne, show Evie your red nails. Red-iance. Isn’t that a clever name?”
Mom raised both hands and wiggled her fingers showing off her brightly colored nails. It was then that I noticed her hair was washed and curled and she had makeup on.
“Did something happen? Is something wrong?”
Maine’s dark brows furrowed. “No. What’s the matter with you?”
“The one-hundred-fifty texts you sent me.”
“That’s an over exaggeration.”
“Maybe a little, but there were a lot,” I snapped.
“Um…did you read any of them?”
“I was so freaked out that something bad had happened that I came flying home.”
“First, everything is simply fine. Thanks for the lack of faith you have in me, by the way. Second, if you had taken a minute to look at the texts you would have seen how much fun me and your mom were having. I sent pictures every half hour just like I promised.”
With a huff, I plopped down in the overstuffed chair feeling both a sense of relief and guilt that I doubted my best friend. “I’m sorry.”
Maine twisted the nail polish bottle closed. “You should be, but since I’m such a wonderful friend, I will forgive you.”
“I will forgive you,” Mom mimicked.
“So, how’d things go with the hottie?” Maine asked.
Laughter bubbled up and out of Mom. Lately, there have been times when she found a random word to be funny.
“Mom, you think hottie is funny?”
“Yeah.” She grinned.
I turned my focus back on Maine. “Things went terrible.”
Maine cringed. “Did he turn out to be a fuck-head?”
“Fuck-head,” Mom parroted back.
“Great you have my mother cussing like a sailor,” I scolded.
“I can’t help it if she wants to be like me. So, was he a…” Maine glanced at Mom then back to me, and whispered, “Fuck-head?”
“No, he was not.”
“A slob?”
“No.”
“Ill-mannered? I hate a guy who picks at things.” Her nose scrunched together.
“No.”
“Halitosis? Unrelenting flatulence?”
“No and no.”
“I’m running out of possibilities. You gotta help me out.”
“Butler was a perfect gentleman with impeccable manners and hygiene. He’s sweet, thoughtful, funny, down-to-earth—”
“Then what’s the problem?” Maine said.
“Uh…he’s sweet, thoughtful, down-to-earth…”
“Ev, last time I checked those were good things.”
“They’re still good. Too good,” I said pinching the bridge of my nose.
“Did you retain nothing I told you before you left? Butler is your escape. Your no-strings-attached fun.”
“I can’t do the casual hookup…not with him anyway.”
“How on earth can you tell? You’ve only spent a few hours with the guy.”
“You want to know the reason why I didn’t read any of your texts? Because within minutes of being with Butler I completely lost track of time and never once thought about checking my phone.” Tears welled up behind my eyes. “I didn’t once think about Mom.”
“You didn’t commit a crime, Evie.”
“Then why do I feel so guilty? I don’t even know this guy and within less than five minutes I got lost in him.”
“That’s not such a bad thing. We all need a diversion from real life sometimes. Get Liza to watch your Mom more and I’ll help whenever possible.”
“You’re sweet and thank you. But I have to watch expenses. As time goes by, she’ll get worse and will need more care. With the cost of medicine, the respite group, and what I pay Liza now, I can’t afford to add more hours.”
“What about your dad? Can’t he chip in?” Maine turned and patted Mom’s knee. “He owes her after what he did.”
“He’s got a new family to provide for now.” Bitterness dripped from each word. “He felt that giving her the house was enough. Besides, Daddy Dearest and I haven’t been on the best speaking terms ever since he walked out.”
“What a dick,” Maine said.
“That’s my dad.”
“Dick dad,” Mom mumbled.
Maine and I exchanged knowing looks before bursting out in laughter.
Holding up her hands and wiggling her fingers again, Mom sang, “Dick dad.”
Another burst of laughter filled the room. It was moments like this, when pure joy radiated off of Mom that I hung onto. The goofiness and laughter gave me hope that my mom still dwelled somewhere inside. That her spirit hadn’t been completely eradicated by FTD. I realized I was fooling myself, so I didn’t overthink it. I just enjoyed her smile and laughter. If I gave up hope, I might as well have given up everything.
Memories
The second the front door cracked open I heard the blood-curdling screams. The grocery bags and purse I was carrying dropped to the floor as I sprinted into the kitchen. I found my parents at opposite ends of the room. My gaze first landed on Dad, his palms flat on the kitchen island, his head slumped down.
“Evie, thank God you’re here! This man…I don’t know this man,” Mom said, with a wild panicked look in her eyes.
Her beautiful red hair was sticking out all over the place as if she had put her finger in a light socket and the electricity coursed through her strands. Her disheveled shirt and pants were covered by an equally askew robe. Wrapping her arms snuggly around herself, she side stepped farther into the corner. That’s when I saw the large wet spot soaked into her terrycloth robe.
“Mom, it’s okay. This man is your husband. My dad.”
She looked over at Dad’s exhausted figure. Fear riddled her face as she tried desperately to recognize the love of her life. Her already furrowed brows tightened. “My husband?”
“You met in college. You called him your cute nerd.” I smiled, hoping my words would jog her memory.
She stood frozen, blankly staring between me and Dad. The moment was surreal. Standing there with my parents, I felt like a mediator. Mom and Dad fit together perfectly, each filling in the other’s gaps. They never argued, at least not in front of me, and they could be loose with the in-house PDA. To see them like this broke my heart.
“It’s not going to do any good, Evie,” Dad mumbled.
“Give it a minute. She just needs a little more time to clear her head.”
Dad lifted his gaze to mine. His tired dark eyes filled with defeat and pain.
Two years had passed since Mom’s diagnosis. It was unbelievable how fast the months were going by, and how fast Mom was declining. Dad took a short sabbatical from teaching, so he could be home in the beginning. He thought about hiring someone to come take care of Mom, but the social worker suggested we delay that as long as possible. Eventually, Mom would need round-the-clock care, so any money we could save now would be earmarked for the future. It had been hard watching Mom deteriorate; she was fading away with each passing day. But I knew in my soul that her essence, the intrinsic quality that made her who she was, still lived inside her.
“No amount of time will help her remember who I am or what we were to each other,” he gritted out.
“You’re exhausted. I’ll get her cleaned up while you take a break.”
Cautiously, I approached Mom. Up to this point she hadn’t shown any fear or aggression toward me, but with dementia anything could change in a flash. Holding out my hand, I said, “Mom, how about we go put some other clothes on and brush your hair.”
Without saying a word, she willingly took my hand, allowing me to guide her down the hallway to her bedroom. Once she was cleaned up and dressed, I led her to the family room, got her settled in her favorite chair, and turned on the TV. I met Dad back in the kitchen, sitting at the table with a shot glass full of whiskey. I resisted the urge to inform him that it was only noon. He never drank to excess, but the frequency was increasing. He was struggling, holding in his thoughts and fears.
His gaze stayed down as I took the chair across from him. He took a small sip of the amber liquid. Since my dad wasn’t much of a talker, I had grown comfortable over the years sitting in the silence. But today the hairs on the back of my arms and neck tingled with unease.
He inhaled a slow breath as if he were trying to fill himself with courage before speaking. A few more long seconds passed before his gaze met mine. “Evie…” He held my gaze for only a millisecond before his chin dipped to his chest. “You know talking isn’t exactly my strong point.”
“It’s okay. With you returning to work soon, and grad school starting, we might need to look at hiring someone for a few hours a week. I scheduled all but one of my classes at night. We could get someone to fill in here for a few hours while I’m in class. I know it will be rough, but once we settle into a schedule it will be easier.”
I stared at the top of his balding head for what felt like a lifetime. Dad had always been an enigma to me. It wasn’t that he was a bad father, we just never truly connected on anything. While Mom got right in there no matter what the activity was, Dad would watch from the sidelines. He still had my love and respect.
His throaty voice rumbled across the table.
“Did you say something?” I asked.
Lifting his head, he mumbled, “I can’t do this, Evie.”
Reaching across the table, I placed my hand on top of his. “I know it’s been hard. But once we hire someone, and I’ll be here during the day—”
For the first time I could remember, Dad looked me directly in the eye. “I can’t do us anymore.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I can’t watch her disappear. She doesn’t know who I am any longer. You saw the look in her eyes. She’s scared to death of me.”
My blood heated as tears formed behind my eyes. “What are you trying to tell me, Dad?”
“I’m a stranger to her, Evie.”
“Not all the time.” My bottom lip quivered.
“I’m miserable. Your mother was always the strong one. She had a zest for life, never letting anything or anyone stop her. She was always radiant, but never more so than when she was teaching, working on a project, or taking care of you. I remember the day you were born, and they brought you over to us…after so many miscarriages…to see Evelyne beam with you in her arms took my breath away.”
Tears trickled down his sallow complexion.
“Is there someone else?” I choked out.
His eyes narrowed with anger. “No! How could you think such a thing?”
“Gee, I don’t know, Dad. I guess it has something to do with you telling me you’re not in love with Mom. So, nothing is out of the realm of possibilities.”
“I loved Evelyne when she was Evelyne.”
My blood had reached a rolling boil. “She doesn’t know what she’s doing. She can’t help herself.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know she can’t.”
“So that’s it? You’re back on the sidelines,” I said, feeling the shock wear off and the numbness set in.
“I don’t want the house or the joint savings account. It’s a substantial amount of money. Use it to take care of her.”
Venom shot from my mouth. “Way to be a man, Dad.”
“I’ve agonized over my decision. I know Evelyne better than anyone in the world. She’d want me to be happy. Evie, she won’t even know I’ve left.”
“But I will. What about me? Have you given any thought as to how this affects me? My plans…my life?”
His face flushed with embarrassment. “You don’t know how sorry I am, Evie. This is tearing me apart.”
I stared in disbelief as an internal switch flipped. The man sitting across from me was no longer my dad. He was the man who abandoned my mother in her time of greatest need.
I squared my shoulders and narrowed my eyes. “Boo-fucking-hoo. You’ve got one hour to pack your shit and get the fuck out of my mother’s house.”
I pushed away from the table and went to be with Mom. With each step I felt my hopes, dreams, and aspirations vanish. My life had been permanently interrupted.
