The long utopia, p.17
Aiden, page 17
“So, what do you want to do?”
I shrug. “Maybe dinner?”
He smiles. “Emilia Banks. Do you want me to take you on a proper date?”
I blush. “Maybe.” I laugh when he playfully tickles my legs.
“Well, what are you in the mood for on this date?”
I think for a moment. Italian sounds romantic, sushi sounds delicious but I’m really feeling something more specific. “Hmm, any good seafood restaurants around here?”
He ponders for a moment. “I’ll do you one better.” He gives me a sly dimpled smile as he grabs his phone from the nightstand.
“Hello. Yes, I’m doing great.”
He traces his fingers up and down my bare leg absentmindedly.
“Mhmm.” He nods. “I was wondering if you could prepare the jet to leave tomorrow morning. My girlfriend would love some seafood.” He winks at me.
A jet?
“Yes, I’m thinking that place we went to last summer with that huge market.”
He looks at me with his perfect, dimpled grin after hanging up. “Text Ash and tell her and Ricky to pack for the week.”
I gasp. “A week!” I exclaim, surprised. “As long as I’m back by Friday!” I squeal in excitement.
He nods.
“Where are we going?” I hold back my need to jump in his arms.
“Brazil.”
He laughs as I pounce on him.
Twenty-Two
The entire experience thus far has taken my breath away.
It’s hard to explain the beauty of the private beach house Aiden rented for us. Tucked away in the thick exotic forest against the coast of Brazil, there’s enough room for privacy but it’s still small enough to be cozy.
It’s too dark to see a clear view of the ocean but the moonlight casts a shadow on the obsidian water. I can tell it’s going to be a spectacular view when we wake up to the morning sun. The deck outside our bedroom door leads to another bed.
I smile remembering when Aiden took me for the first time on an outdoor bed.
Aiden comes up behind me, moves the hair from my shoulders, and kisses the sensitive area of my collarbone. “Do you like it?”
I flip around and stare at him in shock. “Do I like it? I love it!” I squeal, jumping into his arms.
The word ‘love’ coming from my lips makes my heart skip a beat. I hope he doesn’t hear my heart beating out of my chest. Thankfully, he doesn’t notice.
“Let’s head out and sit by the fire with Ricky and Ash!” I suggest.
He sighs, grabbing my ass. “I just want to fuck you all night.” He playfully whines as he runs a hand through his hair.
I blush, hesitantly shaking my head. “I don’t want Ash to think I’m neglecting her.”
He rolls his eyes, placing a firm hand around my neck. “You shouldn’t care what anyone else wants from you.” He bites my neck. “Only me,” He growls playfully.
I tighten my legs at his words. I love how jealous he gets over everything. It’s my biggest turn on. I know I’ll always win in the end, anyway. I plant my hands on my hips and pucker my lip out, giving him a sad expression.
“Fine!” He throws his hands in the air.
I laugh, leading Aiden outside. I win.
Ashley and Ricky are fumbling with marshmallows while Aiden throws a blanket on the ground. I sit down next to him, admiring his frame as he puts an arm around me. I fit so snugly against him, it’s the perfect fit. Ash hands me a stick with a marshmallow on the end and I lean towards the fire.
Aiden pulls me back, “I got it.” He kisses me on the cheek before taking my stick and roasting my marshmallow to perfection.
I chew the gooey sugary treat. “You act like I would fall in.”
He looks at me with amusement. “You’re my clumsy girl.” He laughs, planting another kiss on me.
“I’m not that clumsy. Plus, I’m not fragile, you don’t always have to protect me.” I don’t want to tell him I love how protective he is.
He pulls me close and whispers in my ear. “You will never be unprotected. I don’t give a fuck if I die. I’ll find you and protect you beyond this world.”
I bite my lip, looking up at him with admiration. How can he care so much for me? I want to wrap my arms around him, but I refrain out of respect for Ashley. I look over to see her gaping at us. “What?”
She shakes her head and laughs, grabbing Ricky’s hand. “I just never imagined Aiden being so gentle with anyone.”
Aiden throws a handful of sand in her direction.
She dodges it by throwing a blanket up. “Nice try loser.” She sticks her tongue out.
I laugh.
Ricky clears his throat. “So, the bar–”
Aiden cuts him off with a hand and smile. “No work talk. We’re here for the girls. You too, Ricky, you deserve a vacation. You’re a hard worker and I’m thankful for you.” Aiden stiffens as though surprised by his own words.
Ricky beams, grateful to have the support and recognition. “Thanks, man.”
Aiden opens a beer for me, and I take a sip. I don’t care for the taste but after a few, it grows on me. With a nice buzz, I sit by Ashley on the blanket. I had to pull myself from Aiden’s grip, but once I tickled him in front of Ricky and Ash, he practically pushed me to her. So serious in front of other people, but I like it. He’s only playful with me.
Her eyes are a little glazed like mine. We laugh as the guys tackle each other on the dark sand. All is perfect. The four of us here, enjoying life. The threat of everything is back at home. Security lurks in the shadows, but I try and forget why they’re here.
“I never tell you enough how much you mean to me.” I tell Ashley with as much seriousness as my tipsy voice will allow.
“Aww, Em! I love you so much!” She wraps me in a tight drunken hug.
We watch Aiden take Ricky down for the fifth time. Aiden doesn’t tire, but Ricky does.
After a few hours of us talking about life and our plans for the week, Aiden tosses me over his shoulder and carries me caveman style to the room.
I playfully hit him, but he doesn’t feel it. “Put me down, caveman!” I yell drunkenly.
Ashley laughs behind us as they stumble in the sand back towards the house.
He pounds his chest with one hand. “You. Woman. Me. Man.” He jokes in a deep voice.
That night, I drift off into sleep with a peaceful trance that I haven’t felt in a while.
Happy. Secure. Safe. All in Aiden’s arms.
* * *
The next days are spent in bliss as we jet ski along the coastline and eat local food from the seafood market. All I wanted was a nice, normal date with Aiden. Look at what he’s done for me.
How did I get so lucky?
All the negatives aside, my life has changed for the better since he’s come into my life. I was a shell, a naive girl who didn’t know herself. I’m still learning, but he’s taught me my worth and showed me confidence. He’s brought back my drive to follow my passions. Yes, he’s protective. Yes, he’s possessive of me but that’s what I want and need in a man. Especially someone as powerful as him, as sweet as him, as sexy as him.
Aiden and I walk hand in hand down the busy streets of Brazil where the locals have set up booths along the cobblestone streets. I stumble over a smooth, protruding rock at the same moment as a girl bumps into me. Aiden peers at us critically from where the girl and I lay in a heap on the ground, our legs tangled.
She apologizes profusely as I shake my head, laughing at our equal clumsiness.
“It’s totally fine!”
Thankful she speaks English because I don’t speak a lick of Portuguese.
Aiden relaxes and laughs.
As the couple walks away, I hear her boyfriend laugh as he guides her through the crowded pathway. “Scar, be careful!” He jokes, helping to adjust her dress.
I spot a yellow dress at one of the colorful booths. It looks to be handstitched, made with talented hands. Aiden follows my admiring gaze and asks the woman at the counter for one in my size. I want to argue about spending more money on me.
He looks at the dress and whispers, “That would look fucking amazing on you.” His fingers graze my bare shoulders.
Even in the hot Brazilian sun, chills wreck my body.
We head to a zipline park after. My terror grows as we rise above the tall trees of the Amazon Rainforest. I had been confident, but while standing at the edge as a man buckled me into a harness tight, I got nervous.
Aiden stepped up possessively and double-checked his work. When Howard came around and checked it a third time, I rolled my eyes.
“Guys! I’m not going to fly out,” I joke.
Aiden crosses his arms in warning before smiling when the man releases the rope.
I scream as I race down and over the treetops, going way too fast. I manage to calm myself after a few minutes to enjoy the view. The lush forest beneath me, and the sounds of animals. The skyline dominated everything. It was unreal.
I grin as Ashley lands on the platform after me. Her normally perfect hair is a tangled mess, which I braided for her while waiting for the guys. Aiden and Ricky are full of adrenaline after the zip line. I don’t blame them. It was exhilarating but I’m exhausted and hungry after a long day of fun, Ash too.
It was an amazing thing to see Aiden, who is normally high strung, relax and enjoy himself.
We lay under the stars on the outdoor bed back at the beach house after dinner. A perfect breeze rolls over us. Aiden’s sharp features are illuminated by the brazilin moon.
My heart pounds inside my chest. I’ve never felt this way about anyone. I know I told Ian I loved him, but I had no fucking idea what I was talking about. I didn’t understand the gravity of the words then, but now I do.
I’ve wanted to tell him this entire trip, but I kept chickening out. I know all too well how short life is, what if something happens to one of us? I’ll regret every day not telling him how I felt.
How can I live with myself if he doesn’t know?
I take a deep breath, hoping to steal some of the confidence he always has.
Aiden
I lift Emma’s chin, knowing she has something to say.
She takes a quick anxious breath and whispers, “I love you.”
I pretend I didn’t hear her over the raging storm. We’re protected under the patio as we lay on the outdoor bed. The rain creates a dramatic moment as I run my fingers through her soft hair.
Fuck.
“Aiden, did you hear me?” She asks quietly.
Her heart pounds against my chest.
Please, Emilia. Please don’t say it again. I silently plead with my eyes.
She takes a long deep breath. “I love you, Aiden Scott.” Her eyes hold her words.
I look away from the intensity of her gaze. She sniffles when I don’t respond.
Say something, Aiden. Fucking something. She needs me. She needs me to hold her. But, how can I?
I can feel her holding back her tears beside me. She’s so fragile right now I’m scared she will break if I touch her. Thunder roars and the air is thick. It envelopes and traps me, closing me in.
Lightning burst through the sky, illuminating her broken expression.
I need to get the fuck out of here before I suffocate.
I slide out of the bed and throw my clothes on. Her wide eyes follow my quick movements. I pace between the patio and our room, gathering a few things in a haste.
She sits on the bed, her delicate hands wiping the tears from her face. “I’m sorry, Aiden. I di–”
I cut her off with a single hand, not wanting to embarrass her further. “Emilia, please, just drop it okay?”
Her face contorts, a look of betrayal on her delicate features. “I didn’t ask you to say it back. But don’t ask me to pretend I don’t love you.” Her voice cracks at the end.
It’s like she said it once, and it’s all she can say now. Like the flood gates are open.
Fuck, I’m so fucked up. I shouldn’t be here.
She deserves more than me. She deserves more than a man who doesn’t know what to do when a girl, so innocent and sweet, says I love you to him.
I hastily shake my head, and grab my keys, exiting the beach house from the back, passing her broken face on the way out.
Rain pounds down on me as I climb in the rental car.
I’ve got to get the fuck out of here.
* * *
I hope to find an empty bar. I was wrong.
Too many people fill the space, enjoying their vacations. The open tiki-style bar sits on the sand, with a small elevated deck for the bar stools. A large canopy covers the area, preventing the beating rain from falling on me. The bartender sets down a glass, giving me a knowing look. His accent is thick as he talks while pouring my whiskey.
I breathe in the salty ocean breeze blowing through the bar as I calm myself. I stare into my glass and admire the ice as it melts in the warm air. The rain patters continuously, drawing me into a memory.
I’m standing in the foyer of my grandma’s house, dressed in a pair of Spiderman pajamas. The rain falls in sheets outside as I beg Mom not to leave.
“Please.” My lip quivers. Only eight years old, I’m afraid of storms.
Mom shakes her head, smoothing out her dress and fixes her lipstick in the mirror.
“Where are you going, Mommy?”
She doesn’t answer my question, she ruffles my hair with a smile. “Stay with Grandma, sweetie. I’ll be back in the morning. I’ll make you pancakes!” She promises.
“Just stay,” I beg. I can tell by her outfit and curled hair that she’s going to see Dad. But every time she does, he’s mean to her and makes her cry.
She leans down and plants a big kiss on my cheek. Her hair smells like honey and her red lipstick leaves a stain on my cheek.
“I love you” is the last thing she says to me, before leaving…forever.
I slip the bartender a stack of bills and tell him to keep the drinks coming. I down my glass of whiskey and pull out a cigarette. I fumble for a lighter but a flame in front of my face catches my attention. I lean forward and light my cigarette on the small red-hot flame. My eyes pan to the manicured nails holding the hot pink lighter, trailing further to see a head of red hair, staring at me with glossy eyes.
“Having a bad night?”
I shake my head.
With a cock of her head, she brings her bottom lip between her teeth. “I can help, you know,” She offers, grazing her fingers across the top of her breast. “My name’s Brandi.” She steps between my legs and places her hands on my shirt, her fingers trail across my skin.
I grab her wrist before she goes too far. “Don’t touch me.” I scowl, but she isn’t fazed. Drunk, I guess.
A quick movement behind her catches my eye and I peek over her shoulder to find Emilia staring at us with a blank expression.
Fuck.
Her hair is wet, and her dress is soaked and tight against her skin from the rain. There are too many guys for her to be in here like that.
Did she fucking walk here?
I turn to see Howard sitting beside another rental car underneath an awning smoking a cigarette.
I stand and shove the red head away. She fumbles but catches herself.
Em shakes her head before looking around. Her eyes land on a group of rowdy guys chugging beers.
I laugh, knowing I must be drunk because she walks up to them.
She looks at me once more, hate burning in her brown eyes as a sly smile takes over her features.
I sit back down on the barstool and wait.
She walks up to one of them. He’s tall and his drunken eyes graze over her body. I refrain from smashing his head on the table for a few minutes. I clench my fist instead.
“Ouch!” The red head squeals.
I look down at my hand entrapping her wrist.
How did she even get back over here?
“Shut the fuck up.” I move her out of my sight, so I can see what the fuck Emilia thinks she’s doing.
A round of shots arrives at the table where Emilia is. She downs two, then looks back at me and smiles. It’s comical to watch her try to piss me off intentionally. Doesn’t she know what’ll happen when I get ahold of her?
I snap when a brown-haired guy places his hand on the small of her back. I take a few long strides to Emilia, clamping a hand around her wrist.
One of the drunk guys sizes me up.
I square my shoulders and narrow my eyes at him, satisfied when he shakes his head and turns back to his friends. Smart.
The brown-haired fuck isn’t as smart.
He scowls as he looks at my hand on Emma’s wrist. “Hey man, I think she’s a bit occupied.”
He goes to remove my hand.
Remove my fucking hand from her.
I laugh. “I would advise you against that,” I warn.
He hesitates before climbing off the barstool and stands in front of me.
I roll my eyes and wait. Just waiting for him to try something.
“Fuck–”
I drop him with a swift punch to the jaw before he can utter one more word to me. How dare he disrespect me in front of my girl. My girl who’s in so much fucking trouble right now. With her wrist in my hand, I drag her out to the rental car.
I’m glad we rented an Escalade. There’s plenty of room for me to punish the absolute fuck out of this girl.
I open the back door and slide us both into the backseat. I pin her body against the soft cushions, fury raging through me.
“You’re going to let another man touch you?” I growl. “In front of me, Emilia?” My eyes are wild as I look for an answer in hers.
The fact that she looks so calm makes me angrier.
“I swear to god I’ll walk back in there and fucking kill all of them Em.” I spit and she smiles, she fucking smiles at me.
She’s driving me fucking mad.
“Get over my fucking knee,” I order.
She shakes her head.
Cute.
“Now. Fucking now. You want to be a bad girl; I’ll punish you like one.” I growl.
