Did he think about refusing her? He might have, but he did not and the thought fled as he wrapped her in his arms and held her closer. Leaning down, he touched his lips to hers. Softly. Gently. Barely a touch. Until she sighed and canted her head. Until she opened her mouth and invited him in.

  Iain slid his tongue against hers in the heat of her mouth and tasted her. He had not forgotten the sweetness of her. No matter their sad parting or the passage of time. She was sweet on his tongue. Her body leaned against his and he felt the feminine softness and curves against his hardness. His hand glided up and over her back until he could touch her hair. Pushing the veil she wore out of his way, he tangled his fingers into her braid, pulling most of it free. When her tongue rubbed against his, he arched into her, pressing his erection against her belly.

  He’d been wanting this since the moment he realised she was the woman in the cottage. Against all reason and all reasons, he wanted this. He wanted her.

  Pushing away the thoughts trying to force themselves in, he possessed her mouth, suckling her tongue and mimicking that act they’d never experienced together. Iain lifted his mouth a little, but she reached up and slid her hands into his hair, tugging him back.

  And he went gladly.

  Their bodies touched and he felt her press her breasts against him. She moaned and he deepened the kiss. Whether it was someone coming or just the sound of the breezes in the trees, a loud crack just outside startled them and he released her. As she reached up to repair her braid, he retrieved and handed her the veil he’d pulled free.

  ‘Glynnis.’

  Had he shocked her? Was this what she’d expected when she’d asked...nay, demanded, that he kiss her? As she faced him, all he could see were her swollen lips and the blush in her cheeks. When her gaze moved up to meet his, he wondered if her eyes would show the regrets she must feel for this encounter. She had asked for a kiss and he’d instead possessed her mouth as he’d dreamed about doing.

  ‘Iain,’ she said as their eyes met. She smiled.

  She smiled.

  As he remembered her doing in their happier times together. When she lived here and had not a care about anything. When she still had her life ahead of her. Before life and marriage. Before loss.

  ‘I am—’

  ‘I am not,’ she said. ‘But I ask your pardon if you are?’

  He laughed, for what else could he do? No woman he’d kissed had ever offered an apology...except Glynnis.

  ‘I am not asking, Glynnis.’

  She adjusted the veil and looked out into the yard, where the sun’s light was fading. When he would have stepped around her, she touched his hand.

  ‘’Twas just a kiss, Iain. I understand that there can be nothing more between us. That you will marry soon and I am not suitable for...’ She swallowed and glanced away. ‘And I return home.’ The eyes that looked at him now shimmered with a hint of tears. ‘I just wanted to share a kiss with you before...all that.’

  ‘Should we go back?’ he asked, looking to see if anyone was near the doorway.

  ‘I am not ready to return,’ she said. ‘Go on without me.’

  Iain stopped, surprised by her words and the way she spoke them. ‘If you are certain?’

  She nodded and he strode away from her, fighting the urge to go back and kiss her again. And again.

  His body, far different from that of the younger man she’d known and before he’d grown and trained, wanted her in a way he’d not felt before. What was between them before was something gentle and new, but what raced through him now was nothing like that. He looked over his shoulder and watched as she walked to her favourite place—the one where she could see without being seen—and remained there even until he’d reached the keep.

  Had that kiss affected her as it had him? His cockstand had not diminished at all and strengthened every time he thought of her or the taste of her mouth. And it continued for more time than he expected.

  As he tried to sleep that night, Robert’s words about recognising the weakness that she was echoed in his thoughts and kept him from rest.

  Chapter Eleven

  She smiled more.

  Iain noticed that the next morning. She greeted him at table as the family did and how no one else saw the blush that brought a lovely colour to her cheeks he could not explain. He made it through the meal, discussing with Robert and Struan the plans for the arrival of The Mackintosh and several other chieftains in the coming weeks, before staring at her.

  When she reached up and touched her mouth when she thought no one was watching, sliding the tip of her finger along her bottom lip, he remembered the taste and feel of it. She dropped her hand to her lap for the moment had passed. He forced himself and his attention back to Robert’s conversation.

  His father’s twin sister, Arabella, was married to Brodie Mackintosh, who’d claimed his position as chieftain after a bloody and devastating fight against his cousin—and the Camerons, too. That fight began when Brodie was accused, and appeared guilty, of killing Iain’s father. Only months later and after many lives were lost, did the truth out, helped along by the only witness to the murder—Alan Cameron, Robert’s stepson.

  Iain had heard about how his uncle-by-marriage had stood at Alan’s and Robert’s backs in their fight to defeat the ruthless Gilbert Cameron. And Robert’s recent disclosures had given him a better understanding of how it had come to be.

  It was that same Mackintosh uncle who had helped Robert find and save Iain when he and Davidh’s son were taken by outlaws to be used against the Cameron chieftain. That was when and how he’d met Brodie and his Aunt Arabella. She’d recognised him almost immediately after seeing him for the first time, but had not revealed her knowledge to anyone but his own mother.

  So, Brodie Mackintosh and Robert Cameron had been allies for years and they were friends as well. Davidh’s son Malcolm, named for Iain’s father, had been fostering in Drumlui Keep with Brodie for several years now, learning the skills of a clerk. Iain smiled as he realised that Colm would most likely accompany The Mackintosh here on this visit.

  * * *

  As the impending visit grew closer, Glynnis improved so much. From being almost chairbound and never being far from Lady Elizabeth’s side, she fell back into her former duties. Each day saw her brighter and stronger and more at ease—with those around her, with him and even with herself. And more involved with everyone around her.

  Iain neither ignored her nor sought her out, but in a household and keep of this size and nature, they ended up together many times. At meals. In the yard or outbuildings. Riding along the loch. And each encounter, each day he spent time with her, he understood the true weakness she was for him.

  As she changed each day, he knew he still loved her. Oh, even before that kiss, he had wanted her. The pain of losing her and the effort it took to move on and claim his life had not diminished his feelings for her. Watching her smile and hearing her laugh warmed his heart even while she remained impossible for him.

  * * *

  As he caught up with her this day as she crossed the yard, she stopped and waited for him.

  ‘Good day to you, Iain.’ She carried a basket on her arm and her pace had been brisk until he reached her. ‘Are you going to the village?’

  ‘I was not,’ he said. ‘Are you?’ He had no plans, for he’d finished the preparations Robert had assigned him earlier and his only plan was to take a ride to the mill either this day or on the morrow.

  ‘I am seeking your mother.’

  ‘Are you well?’ He lifted his hand to shade his eyes from the sun overhead so he could see her more clearly.

  ‘I am. I have these for Coira and thought your mother could take them the next time she or Jeannie go out there.’ Glynnis held out the basket and he saw a package wrapped in cloth in it. ‘I wanted to thank her for all of her help while I was...staying in the cottage.’

  ‘I would not admit this too close to our kitchens, but Coira’s stews are the best I have ever tasted,’ he said, lowering his voice in spite of not caring if he was overheard. James’s wife had heard his compliments many, many times. Now it was her turn to laugh and he drank in the sound and joy of it. Iain could not turn his gaze away from her.

  ‘My mother will not be venturing far from the keep or village while The Mackintosh visits. Sheena is coming with Robbie and—’ Glynnis might not know about Sheena’s condition yet and he should not reveal that news. ‘I could take you to the mill, if you like?’

  She looked at the basket and at him before nodding. ‘I would like that.’

  It did not take long for them to get horses and be on their way, out through the village and on the road to the mill. He guided his mount to an easy pace and she rode at his side. As they passed the turning place in the road, the one leading off to the cottage, Glynnis shifted her gaze in that direction before riding on.

  ‘I am not the same woman who stayed at the cottage.’ Unsure if she would say more, he waited. ‘I was so lost when I arrived here.’

  ‘Your stay there and at the keep now seems a success.’ Iain eased the reins back in his hands to slow his horse’s gait to an even walk. ‘Have you found what you were seeking?’

  ‘A respite. A chance to recover before returning to my father’s house. Lady Elizabeth was gracious in spite of the risks she took in arranging it.’ At his raised eyebrow, she smiled. ‘Oh, Robert told me himself of his opposition to it,’ Glynnis said. ‘Well, when he discovered my presence and that you had discovered me.’

  ‘Glynnis, Robert—’

  ‘All is well, Iain,’ she interrupted him. ‘He explained his reasons and they made sense. He is chieftain and must see to the priorities of his clan before anything else. I understand.’

  ‘’Twas about us,’ he admitted. It was clear that they were the only two who had not discussed the awkward situation.

  ‘Aye.’ She met his gaze. ‘And, as I explained to him, there is no “us” and we are simply old friends meeting once more.’

  As he stared at her mouth, remembering that kiss, it was hard to convince himself of that. The blush rising in her fair cheeks revealed she was remembering it, too. The attraction and pleasure in that caress of her mouth that remained in his memories made it hard to believe it was between old friends.

  ‘Ah, the kiss,’ she whispered. ‘Had you not been curious, Iain? Had you not wanted to see if our memories matched the truth of it?’

  ‘The truth of it?’

  ‘The feelings of youth. The kisses we shared those years ago.’

  ‘That kiss was nothing like I remembered.’ Even now, his body reacted in a way it never had with her before when he was that younger man to whom she referred.

  ‘In some ways, it could not be. We are different from the naive, young people who believed that love could be enough.’ A layer of resignation flowed through her words. ‘I just needed to know if...’

  ‘If?’ He held his horse steady beneath him, waiting on her words. She shrugged and gave him a sad smile.

  ‘It matters not now,’ she said. Staring off down the road, she adjusted the way she sat and shook her reins, urging her horse to move.

  She did not ride hard, but she kept the horse’s pace fast enough that they could not speak as they rode. When they came to the mill and the nearby miller’s house, Glynnis gave no sign of being worried about anything. A smile close to the gracious ones she was known for now lay on her face as James walked to them. His son took hold of her horse and helped her down as Iain slid off his.

  James directed her to Coira in their cottage and Iain remained there to talk with the miller about the repairs and how the new timbers had settled in over the weeks since being placed. Glynnis reached the open door and knocked on the frame of it, but before she entered, there was a moment when she paused. He watched as she closed her eyes briefly and leaned her head down before she stepped within.

  As though she was preparing for something challenging. Girding her loins for some battle within? All he could think on as she crossed the threshold was her unasked question.

  What had she needed to know?

  If what?

  * * *

  It would hurt, she knew that when she’d planned the gift and made the decision to bring it here herself. The last time she was in Coira and James’s cottage, their bairn was not. Or she was napping in the other chamber. Either way, Glynnis had not been forced to see one so young. Though she’d seen others’ weeuns in the village and even in the keep, it did not hurt as much now as it had the first time she’d encountered children. But she took a moment to prepare herself before entering the always bustling cottage. Chances were wee Alice would be here. And as she suspected, Coira was sat by the hearth, with her youngest bairn at her breast, stirring a pot of some stew or soup that smelled delicious.

  Impossibly, her own breasts tingled as she heard the sound of the bairn suckling at her mother’s. But she’d never had the chance. She swallowed against the tightness in her throat as Coira greeted her.

  ‘My lady, come ye in.’ Coira stood and waved for Glynnis to take a seat at the table. ‘Do ye wish some water or I could—’

  ‘Nay, Coira. Do not interrupt what you are doing there.’ As her mother moved, the bairn released her hold and gave Glynnis a milky smile.

  ‘Ah, she was done, my lady,’ Coira said, as she tucked her blouse back in place and tugged the end of her plaid over her shoulder.’ She put the bairn down and the little lass wobbled away, chasing a ball into a corner. ‘Are ye sure ye dinna want something to drink?’

  Glynnis put the basket on the table as she sat down. ‘Only if you are getting something for yourself, Coira. I did not wish to make work for you.’

  Coira crossed the cottage with an efficiency of movement, never wasting a step or an open hand. Soon, she’d poured two cups of ale and joined Glynnis, scooping up her daughter as she did. As she watched, the woman untied the lass’s braids, ran her fingers through her hair and retied them.

  ‘What brings ye out here?’ Coira asked. After setting the girl back on her feet, she drank deeply of the cup.

  ‘I brought these,’ Glynnis said, easing the basket across the table to her. ‘As a way to thank you for your many kindnesses, Coira. I ken the lady asked you to do it, but you helped me when I needed it most and I will always be grateful.’

  Glynnis remembered little from that day, but the memories of the waves of ungodly pain remained with her. And, as she offered a quick prayer up to the Almighty, she was glad that that had not happened again since. Coira reached over slowly and patted Glynnis’s hand before lifting the wrapped bundle from the basket and tugging the string free of it.

  ‘Oh, my lady! These are so lovely. And so thoughtful of ye. My thanks.’ Coira took each one out and exclaimed over them—about the fine stitching or the colour or the soft fabric Glynnis had found at Achnacarry to make them from. But the grief that was never far away must have shown in her eyes when Coira met her gaze. ‘So ye hiv lost a bairn?’

  Glynnis could only whisper the word. ‘Aye.’

  ‘’Tis the way of things, my lady. Far too many are lost too early. My James and I hiv lost three.’ Coira rose. ‘But we hiv been blessed with our five.’ Coira moved her hand in the sign of the Cross and turned to fetch the pitcher. ‘Ye are young, my lady. There is still more time for ye.’

  There would never be children for her. All the midwives and healers consulted had agreed. The last pregnancy had damaged her too much to get pregnant again. Glynnis would never carry a bairn.

  At some noise, she looked up and saw Iain watching her from the doorway. His gaze was a knowing one, for he’d heard at least part of their conversation, and she could not tolerate it. Blinking several times, she smiled at Coira.

  ‘I am glad you like them.’

  ‘Iain, did ye ken what Lady Glynnis made for wee Alice?’ Coira asked as she spotted him, too. Holding up one of the garments so he could see it, she smiled. ‘Such lovely work.’

  He walked towards them, followed by the miller, and made some comments that she did not hear. James waited for Coira to show him each piece she’d made before turning to thank her. He lifted Alice into his arms and carried her closer as he did so.

  ‘’Tweren’t expecting such a gift, my lady,’ he said. ‘We thank ye.’

  Without warning, the bairn lunged forward out of his arms towards her and Glynnis could only catch the bairn to keep her from falling. Alice laughed as bairns her age did, so pleased with herself, and Glynnis searched deep within for all her control to withstand the irresistible urge to wrap the lass up in her arms and never let her go. But the little one broke the spell by turning back to her father and lurching now in his direction.

  ‘She wi’ do this for hours if we let her, my lady,’ James said in a voice filled with love and pride. ‘Here now, wee lassie, go to yer mam.’

  Coira took hold of Alice and the bairn seemed to accept her game was over. It was all Glynnis could do not to snatch the child back. This was not her child. Her empty womb and arms would always be just that. Her racing heart would not calm nor would her irrational need to hold that little one again. Until he spoke, she’d forgotten Iain was there.

  ‘Lady? Do not forget that Lady Elizabeth waits on your return.’

  Lady Elizabeth? She’d made no such arrangements. Glynnis turned to Iain and saw the lie on his face.

  He knew.

  He knew she suffered and he was giving her a way out.

  ‘I had forgotten,’ she said to the couple. ‘We must return to Achnacarry.’

 

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