Solus, p.16
Solus, page 16
part #2 of Walking Shadows Series
Ali gapes at her in shocked fury although I already knew this truth. Sparing us all is the commotion that nearly tears the door off its hinges. In comes Stan followed by Dez and Mara. Relief floods my veins at the sight of my medical pack clenched in Mara's fists. Dez nudges Stan in further with the barrel of his gun.
“What's the meaning of this?” Dwyer demands.
“This is unlawful!” Stan cries. “They've threatened me, kidnapped me, and they cannot do this. I will not be forced to save a captive!”
Ahoshka sweeps her gaze over the situation. “Heal him.” With that she leaves, Dwyer in her wake but before he leaves he catches my eye and gives me a nod. I offer a smile in return.
“You're gonna have to help us,” Mara braces me. “Even with a gun at his back I don't trust this snake.”
I receive another swig of tea and clear my throat already calming under the tea's ministrations. “In my bag there's a case of pills...blue cap. I need two.” Accidentally allowing a breath to dip too deep I wince where it stretches my cracked rib or ribs. Not sure yet. “Bottle with green words for wounds. Bandages.” I look at Ali. “Someone check my ribs.”
Dez shoves Stan's shoulder. “Well, doc. That'd be your job I believe. Just know for every scream of pain you cause him I'll give you a bruise to match.”
“If I'm checking for breaks or fractures then he's inevitably going to scream,” Stan reasons quickly.
“Then you better figure out some sort of magic technique.”
With exaggerated caution Stan cuts away my shirt and begins to gently probe my ribs as I clench my teeth against the pain that lashes through me as he touches the breaks.
“At least three broken,” Stan reports. A professional manner settles over him despite himself and he carefully inspects the rest of my body. “Fractured arm,” he murmurs. “Concussion...fractured shin...everything else is merely skin deep.” Straightening and shifting out of the way he instructs, “Finish flushing his open wounds then put whatever that bottle cream stuff is on him then I'll bind his breaks.”
“Mara, the pills,” I remind her.
“Who invented this stupid thing?? It's impossible to get open! Can I smash it?”
“Push down then twist to the left.”
“...oh.” She shakes out two pills and places them on my tongue one at a time. “Stupid Houdini box,” she mutters.
Ali has already taken on the task of gently spreading the medicinal cream over my skin pausing each time I wince. The pills will kill any infection and help dull the pain while the cream quickens the healing of my wounds but even so I'll be struggling until my bones stitch back together.
Once she's finished it's Stan's turn again and he binds my torso and arm with surprising efficiency.
“Thank you,” I tell him as he turns to go.
“Anyone can heal with a magic bag of cure-alls,” he replies.
I just give him a quirk of my lips, almost a smile, almost a laugh. Even when the world wants me dead I'll never stop smiling, if only because it infuriates it so.
The days blur by as I ease in and out of consciousness. Ali remains by my side, ever the diligent nurse. And when she's not there Dez takes her place swapping jokes and telling stories. At some point during my recovery Khala came with a horde of the kids. It was nice to see them but they had no sense of quiet and my brain fell into one hell of a headache afterwards. In fact a surprising string of visitors stopped by once in a while whether to simply check if I still breathed, or to tell me they missed school, or to slip me some food. Ahoshka insisted I remain on captive rations, in other words strips of dried venison and tortillas, but spring had arrived and secret cloths folded around berries or cheese often found their way by my side when I woke.
I savor the taste of a blackberry when a hurricane blasts through the front door. “Hello Mara,” I smile as I lick my fingers.
“Are you done healing yet?” she demands to know.
Almost every day she's stormed in here with a similar question and each day she storms back out annoyed by my answer.
“Not yet. But I'm walking now so that's something.”
Mara's cold eye rakes me up and down before snorting unimpressed. “You limp and shuffle. I hardly call that walking.”
“Sorry the world turns too slowly for you.”
“I have another complaint,” she snaps leveling a finger at my chest. “Jonah keeps giving you our berries. Tell him to quit.”
I bark out a laugh but I shouldn't be surprised. “Here take the rest of these,” I offer extending the juice-soaked bundle towards her.
A brief flash of glee flashes in her eye as she snatches the cloth before scowling. “One berry? One berry? You're the worst,” she groans throwing the sticky cloth at my face after tossing that last remaining treat into her sharp mouth.
I catch the cloth and hold my hands up in surrender. “Sorry, sis. I'm just so weak and feeble I need every morsel I can get.”
“Weak my ass,” she scoffs.
I laugh despite the throb it causes in my ribs.
“You still owe me an explanation,” Mara accuses with no small amount of petulance in her tone.
“It doesn't feel good to turn people into puppets, Mara. And bloodshed isn't my sport.”
“Nope. Next.”
“What?”
“That's not why you lay down and took it. Because that's exactly what you did. You curled up on that floor as they bled you out and broke your bones and you just took it. You were tortured by Lucas Helmsworth and you escaped with more snark than a victim ought to. But five underfed captives get their hands on you and they break you? Tell me why you let them do that, Bones.”
“I didn't let them—”
“If you're going to lie to me then you can kiss that shotgun of yours goodbye.”
A small current of anger heats my veins. “What the hell do you want from me, Mara? Huh? What do you want me to say?”
“The truth!”
“That's what you want? That's really what you want to hear?”
“YES.”
“Fine! Because I thought I deserved it. You don't go through what I've gone through without a bit of damage, okay? They surprised me with the first hit and yeah for a moment my instinct was to fight back and yeah I could've destroyed every one of them. But I didn't. Because I hesitated and when they knocked me to the ground I suddenly realized that maybe I belonged there.
“Not all of those captives were criminals, not all of them deserve a jail sentence. But did I care? No, not really. Instead I looked out for myself and lo and behold I charmed my way into the Cai and despite still being marked as a captive I knew I wasn't one where it counted and that destroyed the others to see. Because why not them? Why was I the favorite? Why do I get a name and a voice and kindness and to be treated like a damn human? Why me?? I was supposed to be on their side and to know that I had powers that could have freed us if I wanted to... They were hurt and they lashed out and yeah I laid there and took it. I let them beat my body and guess what, I'm not mad at them. I pity them their fate and I wrestle with guilt for what I should've been to them on day one: a light.”
My breathing beats heavy and a wildness has overtaken my vision as I keep Mara hostage with my outburst. “I'm not a good person, Mara. And for once I wanted to be held accountable for that. To feel the punishment for it.”
It's clear she wants to argue but instead she bites her tongue. “You didn't deserve what they did to you. And if you're no good then what the hell does that make me?” Shock slithers down my spine at the hurt and fear in her voice. Tears begin to slide down her reddened cheeks as she continues. “You want to be family? Well family doesn't give up just because they're having a bad day. Family asks for help, they lean on each other in good times and bad, they go to them when they're worried that they see more monster than human when they look in the mirror.
“No one ever mentions my dad but he killed himself. He left us because it was a rough winter and our food stores were low and he thought we'd be better off without one more mouth to feed, especially one that failed to provide for his family. Well guess what, Bones. He didn't deserve to die and we didn't deserve to be abandoned. My mom still hasn't recovered and it was seven years ago!
“You talk about family? Well if you're going to be as weak and self-pitying as my father was then you can get the hell out of mine. It isn't real anyway.”
With that she storms out of the house, a sob caught in her throat, and I'm left standing there my body and heart aching but for once no words clutter my thoughts. I stand in utter silence for I don't know how long but eventually the sun begins to dim and Ali returns home. Without saying a word she takes one look at me and wraps me in a hug knowing I need the comfort more than I care about the pain.
Try as I might I can never fully escape the past. It's what created me, twisted me, spat me out in the woods for these people to collect. All I've wished for was a place to belong, but how can I belong anywhere until I accept who I truly am? And despite what I told Mara I know it's not wholly bad. I just wish I was because it would make sorting out the mess of my soul so much easier.
Eventually I let Ali go and we sit at her and Dez's kitchen table picking at our food. “I don't know what you said to her, but I haven't seen Mara cry since her dad died. I don't think anyone has,” Ali says softly.
I rub unshed tears from my eyes and hang my head in shame. “I told her what she didn't want to hear,” is all I say.
Allowing the subject to drop for now she brings up another pressing issue. “Tomorrow is the Feast of the First Hunt to celebrate the beginning of the hunting season. I'll be gone for three days.”
Numbly I nod. “Don't worry about me, I'll be fine.”
“Dez is gonna stay with you,” she announces.
“Dez? Why? Doesn't he want to join the big hunt?”
“He's half blind in one eye so he's actually not that great a shot,” she admits. “But also he volunteered. Wants to make sure you survive I guess.”
“I'm not an invalid,” I snort.
“Yeah, we know,” she nods. “I just think Dez feels he owes you a debt.”
“If he wants to go then he should go.”
Just then Dez strides inside sniffing like a hungry squirrel. “I can't wait until we have fresh meat again,” he moans despite happily breaking apart a dried tortilla and dipping it in the salsa.
“I told Bones you're staying with him during the First Hunt,” Ali informs him.
“Yeah, Dez, if you want to go then don't worry about me. I'm fine,” I add.
“Oh I see, there's only room for one hero in this Clan, eh? Is that it?”
I laugh. “Never call me that.”
Dez throws his boots onto the table only for Ali to knock them right back down with a scowl. “Well I have news for you, buddy, not everyone here is on board with you keeping air in your lungs yet. And no offense but you move like a slug. A kid could take you out.”
“Well that's an exaggeration,” I accuse.
“Ha! You wish. Should we bring in Jonah and find out?” Leaning forwards he claps me on the shoulder. “Look man, let me do this.”
I shrug my shoulders in defeat. “Alright, hey if you want to stay here and play nursemaid instead of riding off into the woods like a badass Hunter then fine.”
“Oh very funny,” he complains while Ali snickers. “Don't taunt the hand that feeds,” he threatens in jest.
CHAPTER
28
Clanking pots, snatches of song, barked orders, whinnying horses, and laughing children drag me from my sleep and I rub my eyes against the early morning light piercing through the windows. I let out a groan as my body tries to entice me into falling back to sleep.
“Up and at 'em, Bones!” Dez calls jovially as he hurries into the main room where my cot is shoved against a chipped wall.
Ali walks out next stretching her arms as she searches for a snack. “Ugh, Dez, put a shirt on. No one wants to see that.”
“On the contrary, I think even Bones enjoys the view,” he grins while flexing his arms.
“Think again,” I yawn with a wince. “Besides, do you really want your sister to enjoy the view?”
Dez wrinkles his nose. “Gross. You're right.”
“Here,” Ali calls tossing us each a tortilla pressed around melted cheese. “We gotta go.”
I catch the snack with my good arm and take a delicious bite. “Go where?” I groan still tempted to fall back against my bed and sleep until the sun sets or better yet until my ribs cease throbbing.
“It's the First Hunt,” Dez reminds me snatching a shirt off the floor and tossing it on.
“And that requires an all day affair? We can't just wave goodbye and be done with it?”
Right as Ali reaches for the door it bangs open and Jonah rushes in. “Why are you still sleeping??” he demands. “We have to practice!” Thrusting a guitar into my hands he fixes me with a stern look. “Meet us by the stream in five seconds.” And with that he takes off.
My brow furrows in confusion as I look between Dez and Ali. “Do you know what's going on?”
“Nope,” Dez shrugs. “But I do know that you're already late.”
“As if anyone can go anywhere in five seconds,” I mutter as I slide boots over my socks and stumble out the door.
Once I reach the stream I see a gaggle of kids but limp right past them and risk the slight burn in my wrists as I splash the cool water on my face and drag my fingers through my bedhead.
Feeling a bit more alert I face them down while leaning on the guitar like a fancy cane. “So, what are you up to?”
“It's the First Hunt!”
“Mm so people keep saying,” I nod. “So?”
“So we want to sing our song,” Jonah pipes up. “We never got to do it last time...”
Yeah, I remember. Hard to forget Tomi clocking me in the face. I shrug with an indulgent smile. “Alright, then let's get to work. I bet you don't even remember the words.”
It actually takes me a moment to remember the tune just right and I have to grit my teeth as my stiff injuries adjust to the motions but soon we're in full rehearsal, some of the kids taking it incredibly seriously while others sing only half the words and while rolling in the grass. We might never go professional but one thing's for sure, they're damn cute to watch.
Eventually we wander back into the heart of the small town where the season's Hunters have their bodies painted by the Clan Elders with inks and dyes made from bloodroot, black walnut, cochineal, and henna (all of which I learned is either harvested, traded for, or carefully cultivated by Khala herself) topped off with a ceremonial streak of coal dust across the eyes. My spirits lift at the mismatched tables dragged outside from homes and placed together in a long line being covered in food. The only thing missing is...
“My nose doesn't smell meat,” I accuse to no one in particular.
“There's no meat served on the day of the First Hunt. We don't eat any meat actually until the Hunters return and we cook their catch.”
I spin in recognition of that voice and before she can stab me I wrap Mara tight in my arms hugging her until she ought to complain about the shortage of oxygen in her lungs but she doesn't. Instead her arms hesitantly pat my back and I'm about to let her be when suddenly her nails dig in and her skinny arms turn into a vice. Minutes go by, people stare, but we just hold each other tight. My body threatens to scream against the pain but the need for this moment battles it back.
“Oh good! You're friends again!” Jonah claps happily.
Mara snorts against my chest and my huff of laughter ruffles the top of her head.
Releasing her I keep hold of her shoulders and meet her eye. “I'm sorry, Mara.”
Stiffly she nods. “Me too.”
I had a whole speech prepared but in this moment all the words flee my brain. I dig into my pocket and pull out my surprise. Handing her a band of blue and golden-brown woven cloth I stumble, “I made this for you. And I made one for Jonah too.”
“Awesome!” Jonah shouts snatching the matching bracelet from my fingers. Slipping it on he abandons us to show it off to his friends.
Mara spins the gift with her pointer fingers in a ceaseless rotation. “Where'd you get the fabric?”
Placing my hands in my pockets I slouch into a shrug with a mischievous smirk. “Let's just say Dez might be missing a pair of underwear.”
A bonafide cackle jumps from her throat. “That is so gross,” she grins sliding it onto her wrist. “Did you make any more?”
A flush creeps up my neck and I suddenly seem fascinated by my boot scuffing the dirt. “Uh well, yeah I have another one but I just,” I shrug helplessly, “I wasn't really sure I should wear it or you can give it to someone else, like your mom maybe. Whatever you want, it's just a spare.”
“Nah, you should wear it,” Mara decides while twirling a knife between her fingers. “Later, Bones.”
“Your warpaint looks fierce enough to stop a rabbit's heart at the sight,” I shout.
Without even glancing over her shoulder she calls, “I know,” and I can hear the proud grin in her voice.
I watch her prowl away heading towards Jonah whom she grabs by the shirt and drags to the table. My eyes catch Dez waving and I grab the empty seat next to him.
“I don't think captives are supposed to be a part of this,” I tell him not honestly caring what the others might say.
“Sit down,” Dez rolls his eyes.
“Alright but I'm blaming you if I get yelled at.”
“You're really freaking people out,” Dez informs me.
“Why?” I ask a bit defensively. “Are they still hung up on my weird abilities? I haven't mind-controlled a single person since Ash—”
“Your powers? Nah, that's old news,” Dez waves away. “I'm talking about Mara. Since you showed up they've seen her smile, cry, laugh, and hug someone without hitting them for it.”
“Come on,” I shove his shoulder playfully. “She's a normal person, you're just being an ass.”
