Chasing the dragon, p.1
Chasing the Dragon, page 1
part #1 of The Blue Lights Series
Chasing The Dragon
T.a McKay
Chasing The Dragon
Copyright © T.a. McKay, 2019
ALL RIGHTS RESERVED
Cover art by Black Jazz Design
Formatting by T.a. McKay
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or used factiously and any resemblance to actual people, dead or alive, businesses, establishments, locales or events is entirely coincidental. Any reference to real events, businesses or organizations is intended only to give the fiction a sense of realism and authenticity.
All right reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means – electronic, mechanical, photographic (photocopying), recording or otherwise – without prior permission in writing from the author.
Pirating an author’s work is a crime and will be treated as such.
To Claudia and Mildred…
this one is for you.
Contents
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Epilogue
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Also by T.a McKay
Prologue
Dawson
The ceiling above me spins as I lie in the middle of the floor and stare at it. That last hit was stronger than I anticipated, and it’s literally knocked me on my arse. I can’t remember what I was doing before I ended up down here, but my brain is past trying to work. Hands are touching my stomach, and they’re becoming a nuisance, but I can’t get my own hands to move to I can stop them. So, I simply lie there, letting warmth fill my whole body. Getting high is the only time I feel warm these days, but it’s taking more drugs to reach that feeling, and as much as that should be a warning sign, I continue to fill my body with the only relief I’ve found.
“Dawson, you still with us?”
I screw my face up when I hear someone speaking because I don’t remember anyone else being here with me. Being so relaxed makes it a struggle to open my eyes, but I manage, and when I look above me, I see Lenny leaning over me, his hard cock resting against my hip. What the hell is going on? It takes me far too long to work out what’s happening, and before I get fully there, Jamieson calls cut. It’s only hearing his voice that brings me back to the now, and when it does, I try to muster up the energy to get back where I need to be. I smile at Lenny, my finger brushing over his thigh, but he never loses the concerned look on his face. Why does he look so worried when I feel fucking great? He should take a hit too, maybe it will make him smile. I reach up with my other hand to touch his face, but in reality, the hand doesn’t move from the floor.
“Dawson?”
My name is repeated, but this time Lenny’s mouth doesn’t move. How did he manage that? I’m about to ask him to do it again when he moves out the way, and the space above me is filled with Jamieson’s kind face. He has a matching concerned look, but I’m struggling to think about it. I get lost in Jamieson’s eyes, and I just want to spend the whole day looking into them. He might be my boss, but he settles my mind almost as much as the junk does. I’m so fucking glad I came to work for him. It might still be selling my body for money, but this is a slightly classier way to do it. I can’t get caught by the police again, or I’m going to end up in jail for a long time, and there will be no coming back from that.
Jamieson runs a finger over my face, and I groan in pleasure when tingles spread over my skin. My head spins as I close my eyes, and I feel like I’m floating away, the warmth blanketing me from the whole world. I relax into the sensation and let the floating take over. The world vanishes from around me, and I take a deep breath, finally relaxing after far too long. The last few months have become a living nightmare, and it’s only in these moments that I get to escape the torment. I crave when there’s no need to admit what I have to do to Billy to keep a roof over my head. There’s no shame or disgust for the things I put my body through so I’m not put out on the street, and I can forget how it feels to lie there and let someone use me. Joining the company to film porn should have been the lowest point in my life, but I soon found out that it was one of my best decisions since I left home. Jamieson is professional, and he genuinely cares about us, making sure we are fed and protected while filming. The thing he can’t protect me from is my life when I walk outside his front door. As soon as the lock clicks behind me, my safe cocoon collapses down on me, and I have to return to reality. And that reality is really fucking hard and scary. That means I use drugs to hide away from all that, relishing the seconds of peace as they pass.
“Dawson?” My name is said with a bit more panic, but it doesn’t make me open my eyes. When a hand on my shoulder shakes me, I know I can’t hide any longer.
I attempt to open my eyes, but they feel so fucking heavy. I struggle against the pull, but there’s no fighting it, the bright warmth is really fucking hard to resist. So I give in and float away, letting the worried voices and the hands on my body disappear as I finally feel at peace. This is how I imagined heaven. No fear and no more hurting, and as I drift away, I know I’m smiling.
Chapter One
Dawson
“You are so fucking sexy. I can’t wait to be buried inside you.” The words are moaned into my ear as Ty rubs his cock along my crack. Some people may think that creating scenes is intimate, but the fact that he needs to speak loud enough for the cameras to pick up, it loses some of the romance. Add in the other people in the room, and the multiple cameras pointed at us, and it can be challenging to keep a boner, even when you have a hot guy rubbing against you in a really fucking sexy way.
I push back, and it causes a deep grunt to leave Ty’s throat. I smile over my shoulder, making sure the camera can pick up the gleam in my eye. Doing this isn’t actually about the sex itself, it’s about selling a story to the people who are watching. They want to see a connection between the lovers, they crave that moment when you look at your partner with lust and want. That’s when the viewer imagines it’s them you’re looking at, and it makes them watch over and over again, and that’s what pays my rent. Ty’s big hand on the back of my neck makes me tense, and he eases his grip slightly, probably worried that he’s being too rough. He isn’t though, it’s just the memory of being in this situation a few days ago that has me wanting to flee. I force my body to relax, to remember that it’s Ty that’s touching me, no one else. His finger starts to absently rub the skin as his erection prods against me, begging for entry. “I’m gonna fuck you so hard.” He leans over my back and bites my shoulder just as Jamieson shouts cut.
I let my head drop to the bed as Ty moves from his position to get a condom on. I stay in place to make the scene look connected, but I relax as the minute’s tick by. Closing my eyes, I listen to the gentle whispers of the others as they go about their business. When I first started at Jamieson’s company, I was a bit nervous with how many people would be in the room while I was doing a scene. In truth, it turned out to only be Jamieson and Deacon, and it’s clearly just a job for them. Not once have I ever felt uncomfortable or uneasy when the two of them enter the room, and even though they are probably looking at me now, I feel relaxed enough to lie here with everything on show. Deacon goes home to a wife every night, and Jamieson, well I honestly don’t know. He’s a mystery to me, and one that I would love to solve just once. At the thought of him, I open my eyes, letting them track him across the room. He’s standing talking to Ty as Ty puts a condom on, his large hand rubbing his dick to keep it hard. I don’t know what’s being said, but Ty laughs loudly before Jamieson turns to look at me, and as soon as our eyes connect, I feel a twitch in my dick.
He gives me a small gentle smile as Ty continues to speak to him, and I close my eyes to hide the effect he has on me. The guy is a stone-cold fox, and I don’t think I’m the only model he hires that would give their left nut for one night with him. He’s probably about thirty-seven, so pretty young, but he has an almost full head of grey hair that makes him look so fucking hot. Actually, his hair isn’t really grey, it would probably be considered silver since it seems to reflect the sunlight. All I know is it looks fucking amazing on him, and he can make me want to shoot my load from a simple smile. It makes performing a lot easier and helps when the Viagra won’t. When I don’t feel like I can finish, I just open my eyes a crack and concentrate on Jamieson, his intense stare as he analyses the scene revving my engine and pushing me over the edge.
A hand on my back makes me jump slightly, and Ty smooths over the skin to soothe me. The action makes me relax like I always do when T y touches me. He’s such a great guy, and even though we are both getting paid for this, he would never do anything that I didn’t want. For now, we need to get back into position so that the viewer won’t notice the edit point, so I rise up onto my hands until I think I’m back in the original spot, and when I open my eyes, Jamieson is kneeling right next to me. He gives me that winning smile again, and I can feel my insides quiver.
“You okay?” His voice is like soft velvet stroking over my body, and it takes everything in me not to swoon into a puddle on the bed.
“Yeah.”
He smiles again and reaches out to push a piece of hair out of my eye. Most people might think it’s creepy that Jamieson is so hands-on in this type of situation, but I find it calming. I don’t know if he acts this way with the other models, but I like it when he does it to me. There has never been anyone that’s looked out for me in my life, and the simple interactions with Jamieson make me feel important. “That’s good. I was just saying to Ty that I want him to go gentle. Still let the build-up happen naturally, but I want it softer, sweeter. All his scenes are hard and fast, I want this with you to be more like a love scene.”
I’m a little confused at the change of pace. At the pre-scene meeting, we’d discussed the direction that we would go in, and no part of it was slow and soft. I trust Jamieson though, and since he’s the boss at the end of the day, I just nod and get ready to do as I’m told. He doesn’t say anything else, but his eyes stay connected with mine as he stands. It’s only when Deacon asks him a question about lighting that he turns away, and the loss of eye contact hurts a little.
Holy fuck Dawson, get a grip. It’s one thing to be hot for your boss, it’s another thing altogether to be so mushy about him that there’s a chance you might be sick. This isn’t some hallmark movie where the successful hot businessman is going to fall for the down on his luck druggie. No, this is more the kind of movie where the porn star is found dead in a park because some dealer wanted more than money.
That thought has me turning to stare at the bed, all the pleasant feelings from a moment before vanishing quickly. I close my eyes and focus on getting finished for the day. I have enough junk at home to get another hit, and since my rent is due and I don’t have enough, it will be easier to get high before Billy gets home and demands payment. What happens when I tell him I don’t have all his money is entirely his decision, and I’d rather be high no matter what. His reaction won’t be good, it’s more a question of how bad it will be and how long will it hurt. I often wonder why I still live there, then I get to the end of the month, and I’m short of money, and I realise that I really have no other choice. Billy might take payment in other ways, but at least I still have a bed to sleep in at night.
I’m flipped onto my back, and the squeal that leaves me is totally real. I was so stuck in my head that I didn’t realise that Ty had been speaking to me. I suddenly wonder how long I’d been zoning out. That’s not a great thing to do while we are filming, but since Jamieson hasn’t told us to stop, I’m hoping it means it wasn’t as long as I think. Ty smiles down at me before dropping his lips to my neck. This isn’t my first scene with Ty, and he knows that I don’t kiss anyone. He never pushes the issue, which is nice, but he uses his lips a lot on my skin which makes my cock happy. Ty’s lips are soft and tender, and if I did allow kissing, he would be the one that I gave in to. I don’t have time to think more about it before he slips his hands behind my knees and presses my legs to my thighs, telling me it’s time to perform.
* * *
“Dawson, can I see you a minute?”
I nearly make it out the front door before Jamieson calls to me, and I’m tempted to keep walking and pretend I don’t hear him, even though he’s standing at his office door. He doesn’t even wait for a response before he heads back into his office. With a little sigh, I follow him, knowing I don’t actually have a choice in the matter. When I walk in through the door, he’s sitting on the edge of his desk, his long legs stretched out in front of him, and his feet crossed. I let my eyes linger on his muscly thighs briefly before I look up at him and smile. “What’s up?”
He nods towards the chair in front of him, and as much as I want to stay standing, I automatically sit where he tells me to. “I just wanted to check in and see how you’re doing.”
Rolling my eyes would be considered rude, so I concentrate on keeping my face neutral. Jamieson has been checking up on me since the day I ended up in the back of an ambulance after taking a hit. It was a bad idea to get high before coming to work, and since that day, things have been a little awkward. Jamieson has always cared about my welfare by making sure I’m fed, but since he saw me in that state, he has been forcing the issue more. “I’m good.” Saying as little as possible is always the best bet when it comes to Jamieson because he always sees beneath the words and to the truth of my feelings.
“Things okay at home?”
My stomach churns at the thought of going back to Billy’s house, but I hide it behind what I hope is a genuine smile. The last thing I need is for Jamieson to know how fucking pathetic my life is. “Yeah, great.” I get up from the chair, desperate to get out of this office and get high. My hospital visit scared me, and it cut my using down, but I’m getting back into old habits, and that means I want to get home to get high. I lie to myself that I could give up at any time, I just don’t want to. “I have to get going. There’s something I need to do tonight, and I don’t want to be late.”
Jamieson doesn’t look convinced, but he nods. “As long as everything is okay.”
“It is.” I lie. I turn to leave, but his hand on my arm stills me instantly. I spend my life being touched by people, mostly strangers, and I’ve become mainly numb to the whole thing. Except when it comes to Jamieson. The simplest brush of his skin against mine can ignite fireworks through my entire body, so to have his hand on my forearm, it’s making me slightly stupid. My chest starts to ache, and only then I realise that I’m holding my breath. I let out a stuttered exhale, trying to hide the reaction from Jamieson. When I feel like I have myself under control, I turn my head and look at him.
“Dawson, I’m always here. No matter what’s going on, you can talk to me. About anything.” His fingers tighten slightly before he drops his hand away.
My arm still tingles, but I ignore it. I need to get out of here before I do something stupid like tell him how shit everything is, how I just want someone to take away all the hurt and pain. I can’t let anyone in like that, and with that in mind, I simply nod before I leave his office, letting the door close with a gentle thud. The walk home is going to be long and cold, but I hope it will clear my mind, leaving my head empty.
Unfortunately, I’m still thinking about Jamieson as I close my bedroom door behind me. It takes nearly an hour to walk home after a shoot, and it usually wouldn’t bother me as much as it did today. I knew it would be cold, but the first of the snow started when I was only halfway home, and now I feel like all my important extremities are going to fall off, especially since I can’t afford a thicker jacket than my leather one. Every time I go past the shops in town, I stare at the warm jackets in the windows, but unless I can get one out unnoticed under my clothes, I just need to make do with what I have. I head straight to my little walk in wardrobe and with shaking fingers start to get undressed. I drop the soaking clothes on the floor, not wanting to waste time by picking them up. I need to get in a shower before the risk of something falling off becomes a real thing. Since I’m still home alone, I leave my room and head to the shared bathroom completely naked, not even stopping to grab new clothes.
