‘Sounds as if he has a monied background.’

  She shrugged. ‘You didn’t, I take it?’

  ‘Too true!’

  ‘Me neither.’

  ‘So we’ve something in common,’ Robert stated. ‘And we both have reason to be proud of ourselves.’

  ‘You more than me. I may work for a big company, but you own one!’

  ‘Don’t underrate yourself, Lindsey. Your documentaries make an impact on the way people think. And that’s very important.’ He leaned closer to her. ‘I have to go to Washington for the next few days, but I’ll see you when I get back.’

  ‘I can’t promise,’ she murmured, irritated by his presumption.

  ‘I’ll keep hoping. You have to relax some time.’

  She made no comment, and he signalled for the bill.

  It wasn’t until they were in a taxi on the way to her home that he referred to her reluctance to see him.

  ‘Why don’t you like me, Lindsey?’

  ‘I—er—why do you think that?’

  ‘Your unwillingness to fix a firm date to see me again.’

  ‘I said I might be busy. But if I’m free I’ll be pleased to go out with you.’

  ‘Pleased? Can’t you do better than that?’

  ‘I don’t think you need encouragement.’

  ‘Usually I don’t,’ he confessed with fetching candour, and fell silent as the taxi stopped outside her apartment block. ‘I’ll see you to the door,’ he said, jumping out.

  ‘It isn’t necessary.’

  ‘I’m doing it out of pleasure, not necessity!’

  They reached the glass entrance, and pulling her gently round to face him, he brushed his lips across hers. His touch was soft, his mouth warm, and Lindsey found herself liking it.

  ‘I’ll call you,’ he said as he drew back and, touching her cheek lightly, returned to the waiting taxi.

  With his footsteps receding in her ears, Lindsey put her key in the lock, her body tingling with an excitement she hadn’t felt in years.

  CHAPTER SIX

  NEXT day Lindsey found herself pleasantly anticipating Robert’s call, and was disappointed when he rang to say he wouldn’t be returning from Washington till after the weekend.

  ‘Why not join me here for a few days?’ he suggested.

  ‘It’s impossible.’

  ‘Am I back of the class again?’

  ‘Of course not. But I don’t like being rushed.’

  ‘What choice do I have? I’m here for four weeks, and for half of them I’ll be on the West Coast.’

  ‘You can always write to me,’ she teased.

  ‘Oh, sure,’ he grunted. ‘Boss of Lawson and Briggs writes love-letters to married woman. I can see the headlines!’

  Speechless at the implied accusation, Lindsey quietly set the telephone back on its hook.

  An hour later three dozen yellow tea-roses arrived for her; the card accompanying it was written in flowing American script, though the message was pure Robert.

  ‘Again I’ve put my foot in it. Forgive me.’

  Lindsey carried the flowers into the outer office and dumped them on her secretary’s desk. ‘Do what you like with these. I’m also unavailable if Mr Lawson calls.’

  ‘All day?’

  ‘Every day.’

  Hardly had the words left her lips than he was on the line, and leaving her secretary mouthing excuses Lindsey returned to her office.

  It wasn’t easy to work, for her anger was still vibrant. She wasn’t being thin-skinned, she assured herself; she had every justification to be furious with Robert. His remark had been crass in the extreme. Tim wouldn’t have—oh, lord, there she went again—comparing every man with Tim.

  Of course he wouldn’t have made such a comment. After all, who’d want to compromise Tim, living contentedly in Evebury? Or had he moved back to London when Ramsden Engineering was taken over by Semperton’s? Whatever, she couldn’t imagine him behaving as crudely as Robert.

  Yet in mitigation of what Robert had said, she had to admit he was in the public eye and, as such, there would always be people more than happy to bring him down. Yet to think she might be one of them... She shook her head, disappointed by his poor judgement.

  Arriving home, she found the entrance to her apartment blocked by half a dozen baskets of flowers, all bearing cards with the same two words: ‘Forgive me’.

  Could she? She was still uncertain, wondering whether his sharp comment had been the result of having had his fingers burned by some wily woman in the past. She hadn’t thought of that till now, but it made sense.

  Unlocking her door, she carried the flowers inside. It was a good thing she didn’t have to arrange them in vases! She couldn’t help smiling at the thought, and at the same time was aware of her hurt lifting.

  Hardly had she brought in the last basket when Robert rang.

  ‘At least you’re willing to speak to me,’ he said without preamble.

  ‘You don’t deserve it.’

  ‘Right. It was crass of me. But there was a reason I—’

  ‘You once had your fingers burned?’

  ‘Not mine. A close friend, and it destroyed him. But it still doesn’t excuse what I said to you. Hell! It’s frustrating apologising on the telephone. Are you sure you can’t fly down even for one evening?’

  Lindsey was tempted but resisted it. ‘Angus dislikes being left alone all night.’

  Angus, hearing his name, emitted a loud scream to show he was impatient for his dinner.

  ‘What’s that noise?’ Robert demanded.

  ‘A Siamese request for liver and a saucer of milk.’

  ‘You mean you really do have a cat? I thought you were joking.’

  ‘I never joke about Angus,’ Lindsey said in hurt tones. ‘He’s very sensitive.’

  ‘I wish you cared as much for my feelings. I don’t fancy a cat as a rival!’

  ‘Don’t flatter yourself!’

  He chuckled. ‘If I can alter my schedule, I’ll come back Sunday. If not, have dinner with me Monday?’

  She agreed without looking at her diary, but when Sunday came and went with no courtesy call to say he couldn’t make it, she wished she had not promised to see him the next night. What was there about the man that got under her skin? she wondered for the tenth time. He wasn’t the type who usually appealed to her. Could that be the attraction? That he was so different from Tim that she wouldn’t be tempted to compare them?

  Irritated, yet sad as thoughts of Tim conjured up the past, she poured herself a glass of wine to lighten her mood. She had heard no news of him since they had parted, not even in letters from her friends. But of course her friends hadn’t been his, and would think they were doing her a favour by not mentioning him.

  At midnight, as she was getting into bed, Robert telephoned.

  ‘Sorry I couldn’t make it tonight. It was impossible to get away.’

  ‘It doesn’t matter.’

  ‘I’m sorry you said that. It mattered to me. Is it still on for tomorrow?’

  ‘Why should you think it isn’t?’

  ‘Because you’re an unpredictable young woman,’ he said, and hung up.

  It wasn’t true she was unpredictable, she thought as she turned off the light. Trouble was, Robert was used to getting his own way and resented wasting time on the preliminaries. In the past four years many men had tried to get her into bed, and several times she had almost succumbed, but memory of Tim had prevented her entering a new relationship. Only now had she begun to tire of her bachelor girl existence, and long to love and be loved.

  Languidly, she closed her eyes and drifted into sleep, thinking of Robert’s dark, sensual looks and powerful body. But it was of Tim she dreamed, his light brown hair kissed gold by the sun, his hands gentle upon her skin, his mouth warm and demanding on hers. Filled with desire, her legs parted to give him entry, but he floated away and she ran after him, crying herself into wakefulness.

  For a brief second she remained locked in her dream, then she turned on her side and burst into tears; not the bitter tears of the first days of their parting, but tears for the loss of innocence, for the naïve girl who had believed in the sanctity of marriage vows and lasting love.

  Monday evening brought Robert and dinner at another chic restaurant. As if to show he trusted her, his account of his meetings with various senators and top executives was amusingly indiscreet, and he did not make the mistake of saying it was ‘off the record’.

  Next day he left for the West Coast, and she confidently waited to hear from him, but five days lapsed before she did, and she was disconcerted by her pleasure at hearing his deep, slow voice.

  ‘I went unexpectedly on a trek to Colorado,’ he announced. ‘It was a stag party with everyone trying to prove they were one of the boys.’

  ‘Were you?’

  ‘Right down to the shorts and sneakers!’ Hearing her laugh, he caught her mood. ‘Missed me?’

  ‘Very much.’

  His silence showed she had taken him by surprise. ‘I’ve so much to say to you, I don’t know where to begin,’ he said finally. ‘It will have to wait till I see you.’ In his predictably abrupt fashion, he hung up.

  Lindsay smiled, aware of a burgeoning excitement at the prospect of seeing him. Seven more days until he returned. It was a pity she couldn’t occupy herself with work, but the summer season was under way and no further documentaries were planned till October. During this time she usually took a well-earned break, but in her present mood she was uncertain where to go. A trip to England was a no-no, for Robert would think she was chasing him!

  The following day she went to see her travel agent, returning home still undecided between three months on a ranch in Montana or discovering her artistic soul in Sante Fe!

  After a leisurely bath, Santa Fe beckoned invitingly, and preparing for it she donned a colourful jade-green nightgown and matching négligé—last year’s Christmas present from Phil and Belle—let her hair fall in a riot of curls to her shoulders, instead of blowdrying it into its usual sleek style, and settled on the sofa with Angus purring on her stomach.

  A ring at the doorbell startled her to her feet, and she tiptoed into the vestibule to peer through the peephole. Robert! A rush of desire, as pleasant as it was unexpected, ran through her as she undid the safety chain and lock.

  In a dark grey suit, he was larger than she remembered him. He dwarfed the small hall and she stepped back, smiling. Neither of them spoke for a moment, then he pulled her into his arms and began kissing her: fierce, demanding kisses that required submission rather than response.

  ‘I’ve wanted to do that from the moment I set eyes on you,’ he muttered thickly upon her mouth, and kissed her again.

  This time his lips were gentler and she kissed him back, enjoying the feel of his mouth, the warmth of being close to his body. But as his tongue edged between her lips she pulled away and led him into the sitting-room.

  ‘Surprised to see me?’ he asked.

  ‘Very.’

  ‘I couldn’t stay away. I have to return tomorrow, but—’

  ‘You came back for one night?’

  ‘The way I feel I’d have come for one hour!’ He wrapped his arms around her. ‘I want you so much...’

  His hands curved round her buttocks and pressed her close to him as he kissed her eyelids, the soft skin behind her ears, the delicate line of her shoulder. His head lowered to her breasts and she could not restrain a nervous shiver; it was years since a man had kissed her this intimately, and she couldn’t abandon herself to Robert’s touch. With a little cry she pushed him away.

  ‘Why?’ he questioned.

  ‘Would you believe I’m scared?’ She moved to the sofa, but stopped abruptly. ‘What a hostess I am! May I offer you a drink?’

  ‘Coffee would be better. I can’t face any more alcohol.’

  He remained in the living room while she went to make it, and when she returned with it several moments later she was amused to see he was fast asleep. Setting down the cup on the table beside him, she moved closed to him. He had taken off his jacket, and his shirt clung to his skin, drawing her gaze to the muscles clearly visible beneath the material.

  As if aware of being watched, he opened his eyes, then quickly sat up straight. ‘Forgive me. I usually go out like a light when I fly, but this time I had a lot on my mind. You,’ he explained, catching her hand and drawing her down to sit beside him.

  ‘Why not have a proper sleep for an hour?’ she suggested, annoyed with herself for still feeling nervous with him. ‘You look as if you need it.’

  ‘I need other things more,’ he groaned, pulling her into his arms and caressing her breasts.

  Lindsey willed herself to respond but failed. She was conscious of Robert’s fingers gently sliding across her nipples, and though they hardened at his touch the only urge she felt was to push him away.

  ‘Robert, don’t.’

  His arms dropped to his sides and his features grew hard. ‘Is there someone else!’

  ‘No. No one. It’s what I said before. I’m scared.’

  ‘Why? You’re not a frightened virgin.’

  ‘There’s been...’ She paused, moistening her lips. ‘There’s been no man since my—since my husband and I separated.’

  He did not attempt to hide his astonishment, and as he absorbed what she had said, a furrow lined his brow. ‘Is it because you’re still in love with him, or are you afraid of being hurt again?’

  ‘I’m not sure I can sustain a relationship,’ she replied, not answering either question, and hoping he wouldn’t notice.

  ‘Don’t give me that! You’re an intelligent, subtle and caring woman who’s simply scared of making another mistake.’

  ‘OK, so I’m scared.’

  ‘But you have to get over it. You can’t live like a nun for the rest of your life.’

  ‘I know. And when you walked in earlier, I thought I...but I can’t.’

  She forced herself to meet his eyes, seeing only compassion in them. She hadn’t expected it, particularly when he had flown from one side of this vast country to the other for the very thing she was busy denying him!

  ‘If you were legally free you’d find it easier to forget the past,’ Robert stated. ‘Get a divorce and marry me, Lindsey. We’re right for each other.’

  The unexpectedness of his proposal took her breath away. She knew he wanted her, but had never imagined he had marriage in mind.

  ‘I wasn’t anticipating this, Robert.’

  ‘You can still give me an answer.’

  ‘I can’t. We barely know each other.’

  ‘I know you’re the woman I want as my wife. I’m not giving up on you, Lindsey. You were meant to be mine.’

  She studied him, her head thrown back, her long white throat an alluring line. ‘Part of your goods and chattels?’

  ‘You should know me better than that. Our marriage will be a partnership. In fact I have excellent TV contacts that—’

  ‘So have I,’ she cut in. ‘I’ve been offered my own show in England many times.’

  ‘Then accept the offer and come home.’

  ‘Has anyone ever likened you to a bulldozer?’ she questioned drily.

  ‘Many times. But it’s got me where I am today, so I’m not about to change the way I behave. Anyway, it will help me get you,’ he added confidently.

  Lindsey remembered this as she paced the empty apartment after he had left. Robert’s proposal had forced her to think of her future and what part he could play in it, but unfortunately Tim’s image kept intruding. His silence these past four years spoke for itself, and she was crazy to go on harbouring the hope that they might get back together. She should close the door on the past and look forward.

  But was it forward with Robert? As his wife, she would have the best of both worlds: her career, and a personal life as exciting and interesting. So what was holding her back? Why didn’t she jump at his proposal?

  It was an answer she had to find. Until she did, happiness would always elude her.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  LINDSEY still hadn’t made up her mind about Robert when she saw him off at Kennedy Airport, though she felt unusually lost as he hugged her close.

  ‘I’m not letting you go now I’ve found you,’ he warned her, his brown eyes gazing piercingly into her green ones.

  ‘I won’t hold you to that,’ she teased. ‘One should always discount what a man says when he’s drunk or saying goodbye!’

  ‘I’m one man you should never discount,’ he stated. ‘I want you to come to England and give yourself a chance with me. You can’t go on living in limbo.’

  ‘That’s one thing you’ve made me realise.’ She rested against him. How unpredictable she was! Now that he was leaving, the idea of his making love to her excited her. ‘Robert, I—’

  ‘You’ve no reason to remain here,’ he cut in. ‘Come back to England.’

  ‘If I do, you’ll see it as a commitment.’

  ‘I promise I won’t.’ He released her. ‘Look, you have almost four months free before you start work again, and you told me last night you don’t know what to do with yourself, so why not come and work for me?’

  ‘Work for you?’ She was astonished. ‘Doing what?’

  ‘Helping me with my research on environmental pollution.’

  ‘I never knew you were interested in that.’

  ‘I have been for years. I put ten per cent of my company profits into it. And right now there’s a mass of information that needs sorting out. Anthea—my assistant on the project—can’t cope with it all.’

  ‘Are you sure you aren’t trying to create a job for me?’

  ‘Certainly not. It’s there, waiting for someone to take it. It will give you a chance to see what a tyrant I can be,’ he joked. ‘Think it over, Lindsey. It might even make a documentary for you—the way business people in different countries are tackling pollution. If we wait for governments to do something, our planet will be ruined before they get through the red tape.’

 

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