3 sum, p.17
3 SUM, page 17
If you were hospitalised, you had an overlying psychiatric problem. The obese were food addicts. Fractured bones were symptomatic of self-harm. The only weaknesses allowed were short and long sight. The scales of justice were used to weigh the tablets, the syrups, and the powders. Once you were back on your feet, you were cannon fodder.
“I have a hunch,” I said. “This way, neonatal.”
There it was, just wide enough to squeeze through, a hatch with two little doors. Anais shot the padlock holding the chains on it and on us.
“How?” she asked me.
“It was once a Foundling Hospital. Illegitimate babies posted by wailing mothers. It’s a footnote in Carla Marks’ ‘Manifesto,’ you should read it more often.”
We wriggled through one by one, given a new life.
“I never thought I’d thank a shemale, but I owe you one,” said Steve to Anais.
“For Mother Nature’s sake, I’m a woman, OK?” said Anais.
We were at the back of the prison near the river, and headed down the embankment. The adrenaline kept us moving, and Steve and I had a lot of catching up to do. Anais walked ahead.
“How’s the heart?” I asked Steve.
He laughed. “They told you that?”
I nodded.
“Valery 01 ...”
“Valiant 01”
“Whatever.”
“I went to prison because I wouldn’t let up, wouldn’t let you go. I knew something was wrong, tried to find you. Guess I asked too many questions. I was arrested outside your flat.”
I hugged my best mate, but Anais was my mate.
“Where are we going?” asked Steve, exhausted.
Night was descending, the air cold.
“Maribel Arches,” said Anais.
“Then let’s take a shortcut, and go back to prison,” said Steve, folding his arms.
“There’s a secret bunker equipped for survival, and currently vacant.”
“Excuse me, Colonel, if it’s so secret, how’d you get to know?” asked Steve.
Anais looked at him, daggers drawn.
“So he told me; we are best friends,” said Steve.
“Fatale Eve left me a message,” said Anais looking at me, “thought I might need a safe place to hide.”
“Fatale ...,” said Steve.
“I’ll tell you later; she was in Russia,” I said.
“I never asked, but how did you two get on behind enemy lines?”
“We did OK,” we said together.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
We waited till nightfall and, avoiding the Thames searchlights, meandered our way along the bank. At a nondescript storm drain, we dropped to our knees. Anais was still clutching the compass, the map was in her mind; I just hoped she hadn’t lost it.
“Don’t worry about getting wet,” whispered Anais. “We’ll change at base camp.”
Base camp was the bunker beneath Maribel Arches, the underground fort designed to hold the elite should Armageddon strike.
Steve would normally have worried about his appearance, like his outfit getting soaked, and how it would hang after a wash. However, he was wearing a very unfashionable prison uniform, and we had greater concerns.
“My hair, will it get wet?” he asked.
OK, so he was still worried.
I lifted the heavy lid with my cold wrenched fingers, and we descended, careful not to slip on the rungs that hung above the abyss. The bottom was like a submarine; Anais’ torch was like the periscope.
It didn’t matter who ruled the world or your part of it, the one thing you could count on were rats. There were hundreds of them along the way. We waded along the sides, water up to our knees. I went first, brushing the scuttling vermin out of our path.
I expected Steve to crumble but he remained focused, resolute. My one regret for him was that he wouldn’t discover the joy I’d found. Of course he was happy as he was, but so was I in a way until the experiment.
At the end of the sewer was a circular steel door, a perfect fit. I figured it was as at least as thick as the vault at the National Bank. There was a keypad too, and we all hoped Anais had the right code.
Eight green lights appeared but the ninth stayed red, the gateway shut. Suddenly we all felt colder. I’d used up my nine lives too, but this cat was still licking the cream. The traffic lights went down, and Anais started again. If Steve hadn’t had a heart problem, he was about to get one.
“Last chance,” said Anais.
It was worse than meeting Queensy or Fatale, but not as bad as going under Huxley’s knife. I held Steve’s hand, and he almost kissed me when the ninth light went green, only Anais beat him to it.
I swung the vault door shut behind us, the bolts locking us in, safe but not sound. Anais pushed the plastic screen, everything behind it was a blur, and then it disappeared in a blizzard. First the powder sprayed onto us, then the hot water. Instinctively, we shut our eyes.
Our clothes and hair were gone, but we were still glad to see the robots holding towels.
“I’m Nivek, your host. This is Nala,” the yellow light on top of its head blinked, “and this is Ninor,” another flasher. ‘Thank you for complying with the fumigation.’
“Like we had a choice,” said Steve.
They were more like trashcans on wheels, but I wasn’t about to upset anyone’s feelings, not even a one armed robot.
We dried and took the dressing gowns off the hooks. Ninor was in the shower cubicle with a flamethrower, torching the rats that had jumped aboard.
“You’re right, you are a woman,” said Steve to Anais.
He didn’t mention his hair; he was still in shock.
Already I could tell this accommodation wasn’t for your average tranny. The carpets were better than the ones at the Red Star, there were mirrored lifts, and was that a cocktail bar ahead?
If this was a bunker, Steve was a muscled heterosexual stud like the ones screwing the babes in my forbidden magazines. That seemed like another life, and it was. This place was a palace.
Nivek, the talking wheeled robot with a steel skin, offered to show us around. He was bigger than the other two, and the boss. Even with robots, size mattered.
“Later,” I said, “we’re beat.”
“Then may I show you to your rooms?”
“Lead the way,” said Steve.
“Is anyone sharing a room?” asked my metallic friend.
“Yes,” I replied, “us two.”
I squeezed Anais’ hand, and Steve looked upset.
“Oh don’t worry, Steven, you won’t get lost,” said Anais.
Room, that’s how Nivek described it. Apartment would have been more accurate.
“So this is how the other half live,” I said to Anais.
“Trust me soldier, not even I have seen this much opulence.”
When she called me soldier I knew exactly what she wanted, needed. And I was in no mood to hold back.
“You’re getting better with age,” said Anais on the bed. She was brushing her hair.
“Practice makes perfect,” I said.
“Well, don’t stop practising just yet.”
“I can’t stop now, never will.”
“Then maybe you are perfect,” she said. “What was that scream?”
“Steve, he’s just discovered he’s bald.”
We slept holding each other tight, not wanting to let each other go.
Chapter Forty
The phone rang. We looked at each other, too nervous to answer, but it persisted. I picked it up, it was Steve.
“Hi guys,” he said. “Nivek’s preparing breakfast, you interested?”
Oh, we were interested; we needed to replace the calories lost last night.
Breakfast was an understatement for the poached salmon, croquet potatoes and salad that Nala and Ninor served us. There were napkins to match the lace tablecloth, tea, coffee, and orange juice. Bless him, Nala even pulled out Anais’ chair. This was forbidden for males of any flavour, as was holding a door open for a woman; it was seen as condescending, patronising, and demeaning. But this chap was a robot, so I guess it didn’t matter. Anais seemed pleased anyway. And if she was happy, then so was I. I wasn’t sure about our new friends, but Anais at least had a killer body.
There were no grounds to walk in hand in hand after breakfast, but there was plenty to explore. Steve went back to his room, for another shower.
“It’s enormous,” said Anais as we strolled the main corridor.
“Thank you, that’s what they said at the University.”
“I’m talking about this bunker, if that’s what it is.”
“You think it’s something else?”
“Aren’t you curious about all the round windows?”
There was nothing but earth behind them. The glass was thick, the seals airtight.
“You mean like a ship?”
“Exactly.”
“Well, I guess we’re close to the Thames.”
“I don’t think a water voyage is intended.”
“Space?” I asked.
“Why not? You know of the Council’s concern regarding a bankrupt planet.”
“So go to a new one?”
“But as far as I know every rocket ship needs an engine and a pilot.”
“At your service,” said Nivek, behind us.
“You’ve been there all the time?” I asked.
It was hard to be cross with a robot, and I hated to say it but he was kind of cute. His voice was non-threatening. In fact, quite the opposite; his intonation was friendly, cordial, inviting. The engineers had done a great job. OK, he had wheels not feet, but all the floors were flat, and there were elevators not escalators.
“So we’re in one giant rocket ship?” Anais asked him.
He was shorter than us too, which helped. I didn’t want Anais looking up to anyone else, even a robot.
“Yes,” he replied.
Did he sound proud? Was that possible?
“Passengers?” asked Anais.
“Two hundred women.”
“No men?” I asked.
“Men? Don’t you mean crossdressers, trannys, and shemales?” said Nivek.
I didn’t know robots could laugh.
“No men,” he finally said.
“Interesting,” said Anais.
“Why wouldn’t they need men?” I asked. Maybe I was being naive.
“Perhaps the ship carries semen but not sailors,” said Anais.
Nivek was doing it again, chuckling.
“How far?” she asked Nivek.
“Three hundred earth years,” he replied.
“Cryo,” we all said together, and I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
“Point me to the engines,” Anais ordered Nivek. “And sweety,” she draped her arm around him, and I had that knot back in my stomach, “this new world, what’s it called?”
“Eve.”
Now why wasn’t I surprised?
Fortunately, we were getting the impression he couldn’t refuse his human masters, whoever they were, and he pointed us down a corridor with his one metallic arm before wheeling off.
“Only the very best for this voyage,” said Anais.
“A new world, but who rules, whose rules?”
“The Council’s, of course.”
“But only for women?” I asked.
“What else would you expect?”
Well, at least we had sorted that out.
The seats were lettered on each side with a wide corridor between them. I tried seat FU and immediately felt it heat up. The leg rest was rubbing the blood up my calves, and something in the headrest was massaging my temples. I felt sleepy, relaxed, and loved - by a chair. Anais had Nivek and I had FU. I could actually deal with that.
Anais shouted me to the front, towards the one isolated chair. The letters were HRH, Her Royal Highness, and this time a name, ‘Queen Vespertina.’ Dominance corrupted, complete dominance corrupted completely.
I couldn’t even drive a car, never mind understand one, but Anais seemed impressed with the flashing lights and smooth conical valves in the engine room. She was hotter than a star but her intelligence was starting to dull my passion, at least until she screamed out my name. But what would I do if she shouted out ‘Nivek’?
Chapter Forty-One
Steve was frothing down the phone with excitement; he couldn’t wait to see the film. His stretch inside had brought out his fighting side, and he wanted our leader brought to account.
We sat in the plush red seats of the cinema, and Nivek was wearing a tray of chilled choc ices around his waist.
“Ladies and gentleman,” I announced, “‘The Betrayal’ starring, well just you wait and see.”
I pointed at Nala, who started the show, but thankfully without flashing. There were ten rows, and I sat with my arm around Anais on the back. Steve was on the edge of his seat at the front.
“Valiant, please, we’ll miss the film,” said Anais, shrugging off my lips.
The room was gloomy, the lights low. Vespertina and her companion were even smoking; though only one of them was smoking hot, it was Venelope.
It could have been a subterfuge, they could have been cleverly disguised actors, but only Vespertina could discuss the Femocratic missile program in detail. And, if you still had doubts then another bomb was about to go off, Venelope had delivered our entire defence plans to the enemy. The Undiagnosed would overrun us, giving Vespertina reason in madness to go nuclear. So that’s what Queensy had meant when she said, “Enjoy life, there’s not much of it left.”
“I’d better prepare the ship,” said Nivek.
But we were in no doubt we had the evidence to hang Vespertina out to dry, if we had time.
We watched everything unfurl on the TV screens. There was no misinformation; the Home Guard were needed. Steve was anxious, nervous, and it was impossible to send him away. We were curled up on our sofa, leaving the robots to recharge their batteries. I was starting to wonder why they only had one arm, until I saw the masses of Undiagnosed troops charging forwards bearing arms, supported by tanks and air cover. They’d made it to the French coast.
We couldn’t stop the onslaught, but maybe we could prevent the planet disintegrating.
Steve picked up the remote and turned off the pandemonium. I sat silent, dejected but excited. They had created me to help women, now I just might save the entire human race.
Chapter Forty-Two
We were dining in the restaurant on Nivek’s piece-de-resistance: sautéed beef pasta with new potatoes. Crème brûlée was for dessert.
“The potatoes are out of this world, Nivek,” said Steve.
“They soon might be,” said Anais.
I kissed Anais on the cheek; it could be my last chance.
“Get a cabin, guys,” said Steve.
I’d explained beef to Steve; he now had his head around it, as well as his mouth.
“I hope they’ve got a big freezer on board,” he said.
“Why not livestock?” said Anais.
She had a point.
“And plenty of seed,” I said.
Nivek had attended our wardrobes, now he would attend to our curiosity. “Let me show you,” he said.
We followed his wheels to the storehouses: rows upon rows of titanium shelving with labelled seeds, tied in sacks behind the secure screens. Every plant, flower, shrub, tree, and herb you could think of was there. Then there were the suspended animals, fish, and birds; frozen in baths of life sustaining cryo milk.
Nivek took us to the library, and the maps of Eve. Water filled oceans, there were pastures aplenty, oxygen, and gravity for depravity. It really was the new Garden of Eve, and this time Adam and his snake weren’t invited. We toasted our health with several bottles of champagne; one wasn’t going to crash on the side of the ship just yet.
The following day and night I didn’t move out of bed. That wasn’t to say I didn’t put Anais through her paces. And I had Nivek make a copy of my favourite movie, robot arm delivered to my door. I was getting attached to the wheeled guy; I wanted to call him Ni, or Vek, but it just didn’t sound right. Tomorrow would be the grandest state funeral to ever hit the Femocracy. The shored-up defences were holding, but the State needed a distraction. If we had anything to do with it, they would certainly get that.
Chapter Forty-Three
Nivek was waving us goodbye with his solitary arm. I wasn’t sure if he’d miss us or if he cared. But the longer I knew him, the harder it became to think him as just a tin can. We were all operating to a program in the Femocracy; women were programmed from birth, men at birth.
Nivek knew of another way inside the behemoth rocket ship, and for every entrance there was an exit. We’d entered through the rocket launcher, a way in if the streets were overrun by the enemy.
The lift doors closed, and we looked at one another, apprehensive. There were two buttons, a rocket ship, and a two headed woman. We were going up, and hopefully not down. Nivek had reluctantly opened the armoury, and we were armed to the chattering teeth. We stepped into the Council’s temple, where no man had been before.
Footsteps, and we dived under the clothing; the room was full of it. When they passed we all grinned, surrounded by mountains of vintage bras.
