Why was she even contemplating a good fit when he’d just gone from a man to a bear and back to a man? That was some supernatural, paranormal shit right there, and if it had been real, there had to be some kind of explanation.

  “I’m just going to those stores out there.” She turned and pointed behind her. “Don’t go anywhere.”

  He didn’t seem capable of saying anything, but when he bit down on his bottom lip and studied her with huge eyes that were liquid with pain and fear, she felt it like a kick to the midsection.

  Finally thinking about the cold and about Tavish’s exposure, she took off her jacket. It meant walking over. He was crouched down and didn’t move. It wasn’t that he didn’t comprehend what that outstretched hand and jacket meant. He looked up at her warily.

  “I’m coming back,” she promised. “Here. See?” Did he think she was going to run and tell someone that he’d just turned into a bear? Without video evidence, how well would that go over? But he was alone and vulnerable, and if she brought someone who could manhandle him into submission, like cops or something, and if he was taken into custody and anyone believed her and they ran tests…

  She slipped her purse off her shoulder and took out her wallet. She slipped her credit card out of the card holder and showed it to him. “I’m just taking this. You have the rest. You have all my ID. I know it’s not irreplaceable, but it’s a real pain in the ass to do it. You have my credit cards, my insurance info, my driver’s license—everything. It’s proof I’m coming back.”

  His eyes were as big and dark as wind-whipped summer storm clouds, but only the kind that bring rain, not the ones that herald disaster.

  “Okay?”

  He looked like a man about to jump off a cliff with the churning ocean beneath. The foamy, choppy waters hiding rocks that could be there near the surface, ready to smash a body to bits.

  She waited to leave until he gave her a tight nod. She needed that affirmation from him, because despite the assurances she gave, she felt one hundred million percent unnerved and untethered from anything she’d previously known as realty.

  Chapter 9

  Tavish

  Just like the bear tearing loose had happened so fast, it all happened fast afterwards.

  He’d gained control after only a few minutes, forcing the bear back so he could resume his human form. He’d wrecked his clothes in the shift, and when his mind truly cleared, there was January, telling him it was going to be okay, letting him know he could trust her, handing over her jacket, all so very gently and sweetly. She was so kind.

  He was astounded by that kindness and goodness. Not that he didn’t know good, kind people, because he did, but he didn’t often need their help. He was strong, didn’t get sick often, was capable, didn’t have to rely on anyone, and was used to fending for himself.

  He wasn’t in this position often. Or ever.

  Only a few minutes after she left, January was back, holding out a reusable bag with a sunshine on the side. She rummaged in it when he stayed crouched down, hiding as much of himself under her coat he could, as if that would undo the past twenty minutes and could wipe her mind back to a clean slate.

  No one else had seen. Of that, he could be thankful. Very thankful. And he was.

  But he was afraid that he’d hurt January just by forcing her to know this. He hadn’t wanted her to witness it, to come and find him, but she had, and of all people, he was glad it was her. He couldn’t wish that she wasn’t with him now. He’d never felt more damaged, more broken, more fragile or vulnerable. He wasn’t used to feeling any of it.

  It felt like she was the strong one.

  When she gathered up her purse and turned around, leaving the bag on the pavement beside him, she felt strong. When she waited as he slipped into a t-shirt soft enough that it didn’t hurt his skin, always more sensitive after a fresh shift, and a pair of jeans that fit well enough even if they were a few inches short, she felt strong. He found a pair of sneakers in the bag. He hoped she’d saved the receipts. He’d pay her back for everything.

  God, why was he thinking about money?

  Was he already skipping ahead to the old clan imperative? To what they used to use back before Sam became alpha, to buy their young back from human mothers, to bribe doctors to take the young for them, to buy silence?

  He would never do that. They were supposed to be moving forward. Finding a way that involved honesty and love and not the ugliness of cash and bribes.

  “Are you okay?” It was her asking him again.

  “I should be the one asking that question.”

  “I-I don’t know. I think we should get back to the truck.”

  “It won’t happen again. I promise, it won’t happen again.” Could he promise that? He felt monumentally fucked up at the moment. Normally, yes, he could promise, but what the hell had just happened to him?

  She bit down on her bottom lip. The trembling started then, even when he set her coat back on her shoulders and zipped it up when she didn’t do it herself. Even when he took her elbow and guided her out of the alley and down the sidewalk. She seemed shell-shocked, like it had taken half an hour to set in, but now it was taking over.

  He got her into the truck, safely nestled in the passenger seat.

  If anything happened beyond his control, he’d bail. He’d keep her safe above anything. January hadn’t run. He owed it to her to do the same.

  He reached over and touched her. She was trembling. She didn’t lean away from him, though. She didn’t bolt. She just sat there, dazed and shaking. She was terrified. He got it. He’d scared the heck out of himself. He was a more mature shifter. His bear didn’t pull stunts like that. He didn’t just come out like that. He’d never had anything like that happen before. He’d lived in the city for a year. He’d felt a bit wary about going to dinner tonight, but only because he hadn’t been here in a while. He was excited, and he was wary about that too. He didn’t want to get hopeful. He had no idea what he was doing, and now this.

  His bear thought he was in danger, and he wanted to protect him.

  Or had he wanted to protect January?

  “I one hundred percent didn’t want you to find out like that.” That was a vast and epic understatement.

  A weird warmth washed over him. It wasn’t a comfortable feeling. More like sitting in a sauna for too long and not being able to breathe feeling, but at the same time enjoying the warmth and the way the sweating purified the body.

  Out of nowhere, she burst out forcefully, “How the flying fuck are you a bear?” She shook her head right as he was trying to find the words to explain. How had Sam and Trace done this? Had they just gone for it? Thaddius was lucky with his mate. Glendy already knew about shifters. Her ex-husband was a member of the new clan that had bought his clan’s extra land and now lived there. The clan they were all trying to skirt around and get along with at the same time.

  “I—”

  “Because if that didn’t happen, my family’s right. I’m going into some kind of crisis and I’m not okay.”

  “January.” He took a chance and grazed her arm with his fingers. She shivered, but didn’t slap him away or scuttle back. He set his hand on the middle console, but he had her attention. The fear blazing in her eyes unnerved him. He’d do anything to make it go away. “I really am a bear. And a man. It’s complicated.”

  “You’re right it’s fucking complicated. Holy fucking fuck, and I hate that word, but fuck! You can’t just change into a bear. That’s like… that’s like—”

  “Shifters. We’re called shifters.”

  Her nostrils flared and she snorted. And then she laughed. “This is crazy. That’s not real.”

  “I’m real. I’m a bear and a man. There are wolves, too, but we try not to have contact with them. They’re kind of unpleasant, at least historically. We like to fly under the radar and go undetected. They do too, but they hide right in plain sight. We like to hide as far from sight as possible. In Greenacre.”

  “What? All of you? The whole town?”

  “Not the whole town.” Shit. Here was he giving up secrets when he didn’t even know if he could trust January with them. This was exactly what everyone in Greenacre who was against opening up was afraid of. She could out them. Set them up. Expose them somehow. She’d need video evidence, but what if she snuck back into the village and got it somehow? He couldn’t guard against everything, and all those cameras, would they be enough? But deep down he knew she’d never do that, never, ever hurt anyone. “Just most of the town.”

  “You mean at the clinic?”

  “Not Josephine. She’s Trace’s mate, but she’s fully human.”

  “But Trace and Kier?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You seem so… not normal. You’re too big to be normal. Oh my god, that’s why you look the way you do. So big. So burly. So jacked.” She dropped her eyes, suddenly awkward.

  Of all things, she was embarrassed about noticing their physical size? Tavish saw the flush on her cheeks, and again there was a rush of something inside him and that weird warmth. He tried to shake it off. “That’s certainly part of it.”

  “That’s why it was strange when Josephine was talking about how you do outdoorsy stuff to get so in shape.”

  “Was it strange?”

  “I got some vibes.”

  “Oh. I see.”

  “I don’t see. I don’t see how this can be possible.”

  “If you want, we can talk in a bit. I could drive around for a while. It might give the shock a chance to wear off.”

  “No, that would just give me time to formulate a thousand questions and overwhelm you.”

  “I wouldn’t mind.”

  “I’d mind asking.”

  “There aren’t any rude questions.”

  She started breathing heavily. “Are you going to do something to me now that I know. Because I’m also getting vibes that I shouldn’t know.”

  “No! I’m not going to do anything to you! No one is ever going to hurt you.” That last part came out nearly as a growl and he needed to back off. Back way the heck off. The last thing she needed right now was a protective alpha male going into alpha male mode thinking of someone or something harming her in any way.

  Maybe it helped, because she took a deep breath and seemed calmer. “I believe you. So… how? When? Where?”

  “We don’t know how we came to be or where we came from. Most recently, within the past hundred and fifty years, Scotland. Our ancestors came here to escape persecution. They settled in the woods. Not just here, but all over North America. There was a lot of land that could be bought, remote areas. It made more sense than moving further into Europe—plus there’s a native bear population, so chance sightings wouldn’t cause as much of a commotion as they would in parts of Europe.”

  “That would explain your name.”

  “Yes. Very Scottish. As to how we became what we are, I’m not sure about that either. We obviously can’t, or wouldn’t want to expose ourselves to human scientists, so we don’t have a lot of those answers. We have our stories, but they’re origin stories made up to be passed down. They’re fascinating, but they’re not concrete and wouldn’t hold up in a lab. That’s our worst fear. Labs.”

  “I understand.” She was so soft. Her eyes went liquid. “I couldn’t imagine.”

  “We’re just like people, but we heal faster. We get sick less often, though diseases are still a threat. We have faster reflexes, we’re built bigger and tougher.”

  “So, if they got your DNA, the whole super soldier thing could be a reality?”

  “We don’t want to find out.” He shuddered involuntarily.

  January amazed him. She reached out this time and brushed her fingers over his. “I won’t tell anyone. Not because I’m scared of someone coming for me, but because I would never, ever want to see anyone be treated like an animal. Even animals, it’s not okay. Any living being should be free of pain and torture and not subjugated and enslaved. I know that sometimes it’s for the study of disease and treatment and that’s how they justify it with animals, but it hurts my heart to think of the suffering and pain. On a human being… no. Just no.”

  “Hey.” His heart hurt seeing her think about that. She wore her pain and sadness so clearly. He reached out with his other and brushed away the tears that were starting to trickle down her cheeks. “Please don’t cry.”

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t even know I was.”

  “It’s okay. It’s all going to be okay. We’re just like a subtype of humans. Like a species that branched off and evolved over time. That would be my guess.”

  “Like different types of cats?”

  “I’m not sure about that.”

  She giggled. “You’re not a Siamese versus a sphynx or a dachshund versus a dalmatian?”

  “Maybe. No one really knows. We’ve learned how to adapt and hide in plain sight. Out in Greenacre, we try to make sure that we know how to survive in a mostly human world. We raise our shifter young to be able to control their bear. No, not control. That’s the wrong word. More like be at peace with one another. Harmony.”

  “Things like what happened tonight don’t happen?”

  “Not to me they don’t.” But it had, and he was still shaken by it.

  “Are you okay?’ She asked, and he could hear the concern in her voice.

  “Me?”

  “You look really shaken up. And in that alley, you were so scared. You were upset. That bear wasn’t wild and feral. It was wounded and terrified. I was scared, but more in shock, and that’s why I didn’t run. But when you shifted back, I couldn’t run. I needed to make sure you were okay. It wasn’t sick curiosity that kept me there. It was just you, Tavish. It was what I felt. I don’t even know how to describe it.”

  He believed her.

  Was this what mates were? Was this the start of it? The bond that he felt? The pull to her? The strange sensations that kept coursing through his body? The way he couldn’t make himself say no? How he wanted to keep coming back even when he didn’t understand the why of it? Was the insane desire to protect the woman who was meant to be his what brought out the bear? He had so many questions himself, that he didn’t have the answers for. He’d never had to deal with that before. It seemed a far stretch to even consider that word or concept, but was that what was happening? Was that why January hadn’t run? Was that why she was sitting here, trying to understand him now? It couldn’t just be physical attraction or chemistry. Curiosity, maybe, but that didn’t feel right.

  Sam and Trace talked all the time about how it felt fated to have met their mates. How nothing could drive them apart and they’d do anything to protect them. It wasn’t all physical, alpha male behavior. It wasn’t just animalistic instinct. It so much more, almost a paranormal sensation.

  He should have listened more carefully to what they were saying instead of thinking it was mushy mush he was never going to have to worry about.

  “I think…” He needed to stop before he scared her more, and he’d already given January a lifetime’s worth of scares. “I think that you might be my mate.”

  Chapter 10

  January

  As soon as January drove into Greenacre, the cut on her leg, which was well on its way to healing flawlessly, started to tingle.

  Other spots tingled too, but she ignored the ones she didn’t want to admit to and focused on the ones that warned her of danger.

  She was pulling up to a stranger’s cabin in the middle of just about nowhere. She’d never met this person, or his wife. Tavish had assured her they were good people. He’d also talked about clans, the clan leader, or alpha, and the fact that since his bear had done the unthinkable and shifted right in the thick of the city, he needed to tell Sam.

  It would be better if she was there too, not because he needed someone to corroborate his story or a witness to Sam potentially taking off his head and punishing him within an inch of his life, but because he wanted her to be there.

  He’d said all of that after he’d put it out there that they might be mates. At her incredulous expression and barely stifled gasp at that word, Tavish had backtracked fast, explaining about some of the shifters with mates and how that worked for them. January was still ruminating over the idea that she could be his mate—she couldn’t deny that there was some pull she felt towards him—had felt it the moment she first saw him despite being in pain. But the whole idea seemed crazy, she barely knew him and she certainly wasn’t looking for another relationship right now, no matter what Tavish’s senses were telling him or what her out of control hormones were telling her. Maybe talking to these people might make things a bit clearer, because try as she might her whole damn life still felt like an episode of some wild sci-fi show.

  Greenacre, even in winter, was a source of loveliness that made January’s chest ache with its beauty as she skirted past main street, following Tavish’s directions from the evening before. He’d made her recite them after he gave them to her, unwilling to write them down, but satisfied that she’d committed them to memory before he drove her back to June and Greg’s house.

  She took a right, glancing up at the towering pine trees. Some of them still had their needles and were fresh and green against a slate grey sky. Others bore naked branches, the tree long dead but still watching over the town—the kind of tree that stood sentinel for generations. Against it all, she could see the jagged peaks of mist-shrouded mountains not so far in the distance. It was another reminder that she’d travelled an hour out of Seattle. She was an hour away from help if she needed it.

  These people could be luring her into anything. What if they didn’t let her leave? She pushed that thought out of her mind, when she’d seen Tavish change into a bear and back into a man, she’d had no sense of danger. If anything, she had the distinct impression in that scenario he saw her as the danger rather than vice versa.

  A hot rush of emotion joined those tingles. She didn’t know if it was anger, fear or something else. Mates. This was what she got for letting June talk her into a date. A single, simple date. It should have been fun. Instead, it ended in an alley and then a pickup truck, talking about shifters and other such unbelievable things and essentially blowing apart her beliefs about the world. Oh yeah and then it devolved real quick into this man thinking she could be his mate.

 

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