Against the water, p.1
Against the Water, page 1
‘Owen was a childhood phenom who grew into the ultimate family man. In between this transition, he took on the world, charged crazy waves, suffered a huge brain injury, and finished off with the all-time sporting comeback! Surrounded by family and friends, his life has been the ultimate roller coaster.’
Mick Fanning, three-time world champion surfer
‘Owen is one those guys that I believe operates on one speed. It’s the “let’s fucking go” speed. Sunday BBQ? Let’s fucking go. Fifteen-foot barrels onto dry reef? Let’s fucking go. Whatever it is that Owen is getting himself into, he seems to do it with little to no fear and a massive smile on his face. His infectious humour and laughter is something you’ll never get tired of. He’s an inspirational guy, to put it lightly. Owen is one special human!’
Liam Hemsworth, actor
‘Owen Wright has to be the most inspiring person I’ve ever met. I’m not only saying this with bias as his wife, but because I have never seen anyone with as much resilience, determination and natural talent as him. His story is one of a childhood prodigy, to facing a near-death experience, to Australian hero… This book will inspire and motivate anyone who has had to face adversity whilst following their dreams.’
Kita Alexander, singer-songwriter
‘In the middle of the lockdowns, Owen came to stay with us. He had the North American leg of surf tour season and the Olympics right around the corner. Owen’s work ethic was apparent right from the get-go. All the gyms were closed, so Ow went to Walmart and brought home a $50 stationary bike. It was so small and so cheap but, let me tell you, that little bike could go. He would crush ten miles every day, never missing a beat. The mental capacity it took to do that many miles on that small of a bike… That’s a true fighter’s spirit! He never once got distracted or made an excuse in a time when everybody was, including myself. So obviously, when he took the bronze at the Olympics, I wasn’t surprised. I took that little Walmart bike and powder coated it bronze. She still sits in my front yard today, like a beautiful little lawn ornament. In memory of Ow and the Olympic dream.’
Luke Rockhold, UFC middleweight champion, two-time jiu-jitsu world champion, three-time strikeforce middleweight champion
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Dedicated to:
Mum and Dad. My wife Kita and our beautiful children.
‘Long is the way and hard, that out of hell leads up to light.’
– Milton
PROLOGUE
SUNLIGHT STRIKES MY EYES, coaxing me awake. I’m curled up in a hotel bed in Chiba, east of Tokyo. Shortly, I’ll be surfing for an Olympic medal, but my waking thought is that it’s 27 July – my mother’s birthday. Should I call her now? No, I’ll wait. First, I’ll compete, because if I can make that call as an Olympic champion, it would be some gift; it would trump, ‘Hi, Mum, happy birthday – what have you got planned?’
It’s 5.05 am. I tossed and turned most of the night. But sleep and I are done with each other. I shift onto my back and close my eyes, blocking out everything except the sensation of my breathing. I want to feel so calm and ethereal that I could float out the door.
I decide to do this visualisation thing that I’m into. What I do is take myself back to an event where I surfed well. Specifically, I time-travel to March 2017 at Snapper Rocks, when I returned to the tour after getting hurt in Hawaii. I’ll tell you all about Hawaii later, but the short version is I suffered a brain injury at Banzai Pipeline that almost killed me. On my road back, Snapper Rocks was monumental for me. Now, I spend five minutes basking in the memory, including being held aloft by my sister Tyler and my brother Mikey in the moments after I’d won. They’re standing knee-deep in the ocean – I can see Mikey’s savage mullet from above – with me hoisted on their shoulders and people all around us. My left arm is thrust skywards, and I’m feeling a sense of jubilation tinged with disbelief.
Then I take a trip into the future. I’m at home in Lennox Head on the New South Wales North Coast with my family – my wife, Kita, my little boy, Vali and my baby girl, Rumi. Around my neck hangs an Olympic medal. I muse on that for a few minutes.
I reach for my phone. It bothers me that I’m feeling weary rather than primed. I refuse to carry negative thoughts into the surf. It’s something I know all about – I can tell you that it’s death to good surfing. I fire off a text to the surf team’s psychologist and we arrange to meet in the lobby.
Jason Patchell and I have been working together for five years. Our relationship has endured because he’s a gem of a guy who’s terrific at what he does. When he switches from regular Jason to psychologist Jason, there’s a shift in his tone that says you’re now his sole focus – you’re the only person in the world he cares about right now. The tone is kind and soothing, like a mother’s hug.
I’ve already leaned on Jason more than once this year in states near to despair. Although I qualified for the Olympics as Australia’s second-highest-ranked male surfer, I came here on a losing streak. While my surfing was passable and slowly improving, I couldn’t win a heat to save myself. You know how it is when things you could once do effortlessly are now challenging, if not impossible? That’s where I was with my surfing. My ranking was based on 2019 results, which would have been superseded except the pandemic wiped out the 2020 World Surf League (WSL) tour.
As the Games neared, I was climbing the walls. This would be surfing’s first appearance at the Olympics, and I’d be competing in front of the largest television audience in the sport’s history. I had every reason to be pessimistic, yet now I’m here, things have somehow clicked. It’s as though my expectations have sunk to the ocean floor, taking most of my agitation along with them.
I’ve already beaten several class acts, and as I’ve racked up the wins, my confidence has soared. Now, entering this final day, surfing no longer seems like a physical and mental exam, but rather something I was born to do – precisely the right delusion to take into competition.
There’s just this problem of a wretched night’s sleep.
At the hotel’s main door, Jason and I take in the rain hammering the pavement and a howling wind bending the trees – typhoon Nepartek is venting its fury. In better weather, a stroll in the dawn light would be ideal. But we settle for the comfort of a hotel couch.
‘Mate, you’re at the Olympics. Broken sleep is part of the ride,’ Jason says. ‘You don’t feel as bright-eyed as you’d like to? Well, acknowledge that and move on. Do what you need to do.’
Right, I think. And now, what I need to do are these exercises that I’ve routinised since the disaster at Pipe. Really, they’re less exercises than basic movements such as crawling, rolling over and pushing myself off the floor with my hands – moves a baby learns to do naturally. They’re the tools of a rehabilitation technique called Dynamic Neuromuscular Stabilisation, which has been part of my recovery. This morning, the WSL’s medical director, Chris Prosser, guides me through a circuit. Afterwards, as usual, I feel more in tune with my body, more capable of performing athletically.
Time to fuel up. On non-competition days, my breakfast is three eggs. Before a heat, though, I’ll have muesli, and the more nervous I am, the less I’ll eat. Today, I manage three mouthfuls.
* * *
COME MIDMORNING ON TSURIGASKA BEACH, the weather has turned wilder. The wind blowing from the north reminds me of the cyclonic conditions we get back home on the New South Wales North Coast. The rain is coming down sideways, and it’s cold – I need a jacket and long pants to ward off the chills.
The surf is the biggest I’ve seen here – big and messy. We’re going to be paddling out in a washing machine. Am I worried? Not at all. Although I’ve had my ups and downs with big waves (to say the least), I relish these conditions because when the surf’s angry like this, you’re in mother nature’s hands; you either work with her or you flounder. To score well, you need a particular set of ocean skills, which I know I have. I’ve always preferred a churning mess to lake-like conditions, where the task becomes trying to milk something out of nothing. Some guys excel at this. I don’t.
My opponent is Ítalo Ferreira, of Brazil. Ferreira’s a nuggety customer, 168 centimetres tall – a completely different body shape to mine. I’m a rangy 193 centimetres tall. Ferreira rocks some of the flashiest hairstyles on the tour and has the moves to match. I reckon he would have been hoping for small waves, because it’s on these he does some of his sharpest work and he knows they don’t suit me. As things stand, Ferreira, who was the 2019 world champion, would outperform me over the course of a year. But on a given day, mano a mano in gnarly surf, I’m a fighting chance.
Out we go, with 30 minutes to show our wares. In pro surfing, your final score is the aggregate of your two highest-scoring waves, as determined by a five-person judging panel. My lack of sleep is forgotten. I’m ready.
Ferreira enters a wave-catching frenzy. His strategy is to grab as many as possible with the aim of jagging at least a couple of solid returns early and forcing me to play catch-up. Mostly, he’s getting piddling scores in the 2s and 3s (out of 10), but he does pull off a whopping aerial to earn a 6.67, which combines with another 6+ wave to ensure he’ll
In the chop, I take a couple of falls before finding my rhythm. Like Ferreira, I record two 6+ scores, but as the clock is winding down, I’m losing. I resist the urge to rush or press, and not for a second do I count myself out, but try as I might, I can’t muster a heat-stealing ride. The scoreboard flashes its grim verdict:
Ferreira: 13.17
Wright: 12.47
It’s Ferreira who’ll be surfing for the gold medal; my next date will be the battle for bronze.
I’m met back on the sand by my teammate, Julian Wilson (Jules).
‘Devo,’ I say.
‘Yeah, it looked like you were just trying too hard,’ Jules says.
Now, that’s a line surfers use a lot. As a gesture of commiseration, it’s standard. But I’m not ready to hear any feedback. And I’m not sure Jules’ feedback is fair. I know he’s referring to those falls I took; he’s implying I made mistakes out there. But had I?
Australia’s head coach, Bede Durbidge, and Jason the psychologist join me. The bronze-medal heat is only about an hour away, so Bede and Jason want me to let go of this defeat and zero in on the next task. But I can’t do that yet. Though innocently meant, Jules’ comment has unsettled me.
‘I need to see the footage,’ I tell Bede, who’s filmed the heat. ‘I can’t move on until I’ve had a look.’
Bede fiddles with his camera, fast-forwarding to the waves in question. The three of us stand there on the beach in the rain and wind, huddled over the backscreen. I need to know, did I really try too hard or was I simply undone by wild surf? This is not about ego or self-flagellation; it’s about settling on the right approach to my next heat. Should I go out there with the same pressure on the accelerator, or ease back?
I watch the footage with a racing heart. I see myself on the lip of the first wave. I’ve done everything right, but the wave is so unruly that it spits me out like a lump of gristle. I watch the second wave. I see myself doing exactly what I should have done in the wind and chop, which is to be conservative and turn under the lip, but again this wave is an amorphous brute that drops me like a bad habit.
I did okay, I realise. In terms of mentality – bold but sensible – I got it right. And I should, I resolve, surf the same way when I head back out. In my mind, the loss to Ferreira and Jules’ comment are history.
‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘Shut the camera.’
‘Great,’ says Jason. ‘Put a line through it. We’re moving forward.’
* * *
THERE’S A MEDAL TO be won. Suddenly, that is the only thing that matters; its colour is immaterial. My opponent will be another Brazilian, Gabriel Medina. Almost four years younger than me, this guy’s a two-time world champion who’s in absurdly good form. While winning was a memory for me when I landed in Japan, Medina’s been cleaning up wherever he goes. Besides Kelly Slater, he’s also the fiercest and most cunning competitor in boardshorts. In this contest, I’m the gigantic underdog.
Medina and I have a backstory. After he won the Rip Curl Search in San Francisco in 2011 at the age of seventeen, I joined the celebration that night with a bunch of boisterous Brazilians. Although I couldn’t understand much of what they were saying, I wanted to be there as a show of respect to a fellow competitor and champion in the making. At one point, late in the night, Gaby turned to me.
‘Owen?’
‘Hey, mate.’
‘You won’t remember this, but when I was twelve there was a junior world title event near Maresias Beach in São Sebastião where I grew up. You were competing and you broke your board in the surf.’
‘Yeah, that’s right,’ I said. ‘How do you remember that?’
‘I fetched half the board from the water and gave it back to you.’
‘Wow! That was you? Thank you.’
For me, it’s a piece of history that’s still nice to think about. I’m sure it helped bond us. Outside of the tour, Medina and I check in on each other and catch up when we can. He’s great with Vali. He knows how to make the little fellow laugh, and guys who can make kids laugh are nearly always nice guys.
Medina is a good guy. But this isn’t tiddlywinks, and like I told you, he plays to win. Which I’m about to be reminded of.
When Bede and I enter the change room, Medina is sitting with his coach right underneath my locker. Believe me, this is no absentminded mistake. They know exactly what they’re doing: invading our space, daring us to respond. Pure gamesmanship. Bede and I have three options. We can move over to the other side of the room where they should be; we can tell them to fuck off; or we can hold our ground. Wordlessly, we settle on option three.
I stand next to Medina and start getting changed. I’m towering over him because I’m quite a bit taller. Bede gets in on the caper, too, talking louder than usual – and deeper unless I’m mistaken. To you, this might all sound a bit juvenile, but what’s really going on is that Medina is letting me know that our friendship is out the window – suspended, at least – for the next hour or so. And you know what? I like this little macho head game he’s initiated. It’s putting me in a headspace where all I want to do is get out there and compete like the devil and absolutely flog these guys.
I leave the change room and jog up the stairs to the pavilion’s first floor, from where I can get a clearer idea of the conditions. Surfers will do this whenever we can, especially when the ocean’s wild. At ground level, all you can see is whitewash, but from higher ground, you can identify where the waves are breaking and the pockets to put yourself in. While I’m up here, I hop on a stationary bike and roll my legs over.
The truth is, I’m feeling the pressure like a rhino on my back. There’s no escaping that I’m the surf team’s last hope to bring something home from Japan more tangible than memories. On the women’s side, Sally Fitzgibbons had been among the favourites until a local charger, Amuro Tsuzuki, stunned her in the quarterfinals. It feels like yesterday that Sal and I were a pair of big-dreaming grommets from the New South Wales South Coast, who surfed together as teenagers and became mates. When she dissolved into tears after losing and told reporters, ‘It hurts so bad,’ I knew everything I needed to know about how I’d be feeling if I left here empty-handed.
Why are my nerves so intense? And is it just nerves or something else: fear? Not of physical harm but of losing? Previously, I coped with anxiety at events by telling myself that this is all about me – my ambition, my opportunities, my self-respect – and that very few people care whether I win or lose. But that won’t work this time. It feels like all the giants of Australian surfing, past and present, are watching, willing me to prevail.
Perched here on this bike, I accept my fate. Onto my shoulders has fallen a task, the outcome of which matters. And these, surely, are the moments we live for – to have something mean so much that you’re freaking out. Feel the fear, I tell myself. Stare the Olympic beast in the face. Stare it down. Stare it down now, and then, once you’re out there, forget it. Fall back on the knowledge that you’ve been surfing for twenty-five years.
I have these words that I say to myself before I compete: I trust in my best. And another phrase: connected warrior. That means being connected to the ocean, to my feelings, to the moment, but not helplessly – actively. Yes, I’m in tune with the universe, if you like, but I’m also a warrior. And a ferocious one.
* * *
SHOW TIME. THE ANNOUNCER introduces me. Although the wind is still gusting, the sun has peeked out from behind dark clouds. By now, I’m in a serious mood, maybe too serious. As well as being a warrior, I like to carry a sense of joy into competition. So, I use my right hand to simulate the action of a jellyfish’s sting. The Australian surf team has recently acquired a new moniker: we’re the Irukandjis, named after the lethal species of jellyfish in the waters off northern Australia. We like to think we’re ‘Deadly in the Water’ – this team claim makes us smile and, in my case, hopefully relax.
As I’m running up the beach towards my preferred entry point, I sense someone beside me. What on earth? More mind games from Medina? No, it’s Jules.
