Activated, p.34
Activated, page 34
“It’ll be good,” I finally say, when I can talk again. “How long is the deal with NASA?”
“It’s a five-year contract, but I think I’ll like it. Once I get used to reporting to an authority.” He smirks. “I could always outsmart them, but I don’t think I will this time.”
“It’s good for you,” I say, “to finally be part of a team.”
He looks out the window at a barren tree in the courtyard, his numbers surely tracing every branch. “You remember the kids in Tunisia?” he asks.
“Of course,” I say. “How could I forget them?”
“I need to do this for them. For my mom, too. For so long I hid because I was afraid. Not anymore. After these five years, I could do anything. I could build up Tunisia’s Space Program…help Dr. Salonen…the ISC. Maybe even Cesare.” He laughs. “The possibilities are endless.”
“You’re going to light up the sky, Noble.” I stare at him, an ache in my heart. “I’ll be sure to visit.”
He looks down, his frequency skipping. “So is that a ‘no’ to my offer?” He brushes my hand with his fingers, exhaling deeply.
Run away with me.
There’s a sad smile on his lips because even if I say nothing, the numbers are clear to both of us.
He squeezes my hand. “I see.”
“A part of me wishes I could,” I say. The child in me yearns for it. A once well-loved dream tears a piece out of my heart—to run away with Noble and never look back. But that thirteen-year-old girl didn’t know what her future held. “When we were younger, you meant everything to me, Mandel. If you hadn’t been there when I was growing up, I don’t know what I would’ve done. But we’re not kids anymore…”
We lock eyes and equations rock between us. Now that we’ve stopped trying to figure each other out, our numbers interact with each other like life-long friends. It’s comforting. I know he’ll always hold a special place in my heart.
His grip tightens. “I don’t like it but you’re right, Digits,” he says quietly. “We’re not kids anymore, which maybe I didn’t even realize until yesterday. You kept me afloat for years. But after my parents…my dad—” he grits his teeth, “—contacted me, I finally understood that I needed to heal in ways I’d put off. I also need to make choices for my family now. I wouldn’t even be here without you, so thank you for finding me and believing in me.”
He snags me into a hug, and I hold him so tightly I think I won’t ever be able to let go. His voice, his skin, his cardamom scent settles into my memory, in a place I’ll keep safe. His lightning has struck me hard, forever leaving an impact on my life.
He clears his throat. “I’m sorry for messing things up with Kai,” he says, pulling back and tucking a strand of my blonde hair behind my ears. “You know numbers. They don’t always add up. After I realized how much you both cared for each other, it was too late. He’s a good guy. If you’re not with me, I want you to be with him. He did save my life. But if things don’t work out...” He smiles shyly, then turns serious. “I’m sure your calculations caught this, but Terra Liberata won’t be easy for him from here on out. They’ll be rooting out moles.”
I nod, soberly.
K2 buzzes at me. “I’ve got to get to the airport.” I take one last long look at him, numbers zipping over his features that will forever be ingrained in my mind. “I’m always going to love you, Mandel. I won’t ever forget you.”
His frequency spikes. “You’re acting like this is goodbye or something,” he says. “I don’t believe in goodbyes. Not with you.”
“What are you saying? You know something I don’t?” I search his face for some kind of numerical clue, but he just smiles.
“Don’t I always?” he says. “You know what the odds are. I just may see you sooner than you think.” He stands and walks me to the door.
I sniffle, as he wraps me into another hug. Our embrace is full of emotion and energy—as if everything we ever wanted to give to each other as children is wrapped up in it.
My heart is a strange mix of hopeful and sad. Noble gave his parents a second chance. We had a second chance. Now I’m wondering if Kai will ever give me a second chance.
We take one last look at each other. “See you later, Mandel.”
“See you later, Digits.”
Just like winter comes to an end and spring buds on trees, the boy of fractals, lightning, and snowflakes is once again in my past.
My night is over. My morning is dawning. There’s a new path stretched out in front of me full of obstacles. It won’t be easy, but at least it’s bathed in light.
Chapter 77
HELSINKI INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT, VANTAA, FINLAND
GOODBYES ARE HARD.
Walking on smooth parquet floors past large windows in one of the cleanest and quietest airports I’ve seen, Rafael and Cesare, Chan, and my father and I come to a crossroads—three separate gates at the airport: one to Italy, one to China, and one to America. We’ll all leave on different airplanes, back to our lives, not really knowing when we’ll see each other again. Not even numbers can make this world smaller.
I approach Rafael first.
“Mila,” he leans in, kissing my cheeks. Then he pulls back, his green eyes more hopeful than I’ve ever seen them. We stare at each other. What do you say after meeting like this? It was fun to see you again? I’m glad you didn’t die in the bloodbath?
Rafael smiles. “Thank you. For everything. It’s a new season. I feel it. But I never want you to be more than a phone call away, va bene? Next time answer your phone the first time.” He winks.
“Va bene. Ho capito.” I squeeze his hand.
“Your Italian is getting so good,” he says. “Next time come to Italy, okay?”
I think about Palermo and wonder where Kai is. “Maybe.” Then I recognize the look of anticipation on his face and laugh. “Is your girlfriend waiting for you on the other side?” I touch my cheekbone where Kai used that salve to heal it and remember Palermo’s offer to cure his girlfriend. My mind fills with new calculations.
Rafael cracks a smile. “She is,” he says. “Miracle number two.”
“Then I’ll keep it short,” I say. “We’ll see each other again. Arriverderci.”
“Mi raccomando,” he says. “If you ever need anything, I’m here.” He kisses my cheeks once more and walks over to his father.
Cesare has been hanging back, waiting to say his goodbye. His face is bandaged, and he probably still has a concussion—but he refused to stay in the hospital.
“I like seeing him happy,” he says, as Rafael goes over to talk to my dad and Chan. “Thank God, his girlfriend is still waiting for him. After China, I thought he’d never get over you.” He huffs a laugh.
“I’m happy for him, too,” I say. “And for you.” The man in front of me looks completely different from four days ago, and radically different since I met him in China.
“Mila. The girl with a thousand secrets. I’d reckon my son gave you an appropriate name.” He laughs. “Thank you for believing me. You, Kai, your father. Sometimes the process of becoming who we’re meant to be takes a while. And those who give us a second chance help us get there.”
“You turned out okay. I thought I was helping you because of your son. But now I see Rafael got a lot of the qualities I admire in him from you.” I pause, thinking about all the ways he’s helped Agent Ramos already. “So what are you going to do with your new boss status?”
He pulls on his belt. “I’m going to put those men to honest work. I’ll show them who we are and what we can really accomplish. If my grandfather’s legacy taught me anything, it’s that a little determination pays off. Who knows, maybe I’ll get Scale Tech to fund Noble’s designs. I do own quite a few shares in that company.” He furrows his brow. “I better learn more about it. Whatever it is, it’s time to give back.”
It reminds me of his call to Palermo’s men in the warehouse. “That was some speech you gave back at Scale Tech. You believe those words, don’t you?”
“Eh,” he grunts. His eyes drift to a distant memory. “Seeds that were planted long ago finally sprouted. I almost didn’t believe they were still inside me.”
“Where did all that talk in your speech come from?” I ask him, searching his face.
He shrugs it off like it’s no big deal. “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”
“Try me.” I already have my own ideas.
He takes a deep breath, his shoulders relaxing. The moment he speaks fire courses through me.
“One day in the Pratt when King was busy, an old man spoke to me. Said something I’ll never forget. ‘You have the heart of a leader. So why have you become a slave?’ Then he looked at me and said, ‘Son, pure gold doesn’t fear the fire.’”
Chapter 78
MY LAST AND hardest goodbye is with Chan.
Two private guards wait to escort him to his plane and will accompany him all the way back home. PSS and Agent Ramos promised him extra security, for Kai’s sake, until they know Chan is safe from Palermo and Terra Liberata. But even now, threats linger in the air, an undercurrent of something I don’t like.
I approach him, every line in his face a map of where he’s been and who he is. A father, a businessman, a friend. A protector. My heart lurches. Truly, what makes a man great is the love that is inside of him. I miss him already.
“Dad, can you give us a minute?” I ask. He nods and wanders over to the coffee stand with Tank and Miles.
“Little Phoenix.” He rests his hand on my shoulder.
“Thank you for everything, Chan.” My eyes fill with tears. “We couldn’t have done this without you.”
He tips his head and snorts a laugh. “Whenever you need me to make a lot of money and take all of your credit, I’m here for it.” He smirks.
I don’t remember him ever being this funny. Dr. Ling has certainly brightened up his life. And I love it.
“Well, I hope you don’t mind. The bodyguards will watch you for the next few months. Cesare warned me there may be repercussions for all of us.”
“If there are repercussions, I trust you will solve those too. I’m not afraid.” He gets serious. “We make a good team, Little Phoenix. We always have. One day, maybe Kai will return and see that too.”
I pull him further off to the side. The bodyguards form a barrier for us from the crowd. “I need you to know something. Kai was here in Helsinki. And in the Arctic. His assignment is with Palermo and Terra Liberata.” My voice is low, my numbers revealing no one is listening.
He nods. There is no surprise on his face. “I know.”
“You did?” I gasp. “How?”
“A father always feels his son.” Chan hums. “I also knew that everyone was trying very hard to cover something up. I’m smart enough to know when to stay on track. How else have I become successful?”
I smile. Chan’s right. He easily picked up on things back in China, whether he said anything or not.
I bite my lip. “There’s more. Kai didn’t leave me for the undercover job because he wanted it. He was actually going to turn it down. I forced his hand. I broke off our relationship so that he could take the job without the guilt of leaving me behind. I thought I was doing the right thing for him. I was wrong.”
“Ehh,” he sighs, bobbing his head. “It makes sense why he was so upset when he left. He was brokenhearted.”
“I am in love with Kai,” I say, my face flooding with heat as I admit this to Chan. This time I don’t care. “I don’t want to lose him. Right now, he, um, doesn’t trust me very much. I don’t know if I can win him back.” I don’t add that he’s in even more danger because of me.
He tips his head. “Chan men don’t get over our girls so easily. He’s more like me than you know.” He pauses. “Thank you for telling me.”
“You’re not upset?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “Moli used to say—and I am sure Red copied her—Even the darkest storm can’t stop the sun from rising. What is there will shine again,” he says. “You of all people know mistakes can be redeemed.”
“Then, with your permission,” I ask. “I’d like to win him back.”
He looks at me suspiciously. “What will you do?”
“Not sure yet,” I say, even though an idea is already brewing in my head. No one will like it, but it’s all I’ve got. It’s time I start making decisions with Kai.
“I’d ask you to promise me not to do anything rash, but it’d be like asking you not to breathe.” He laughs. “I wouldn’t mind if you brought him home. In one piece.” Then, as if Red were speaking through him, he smiles with deep understanding in his eyes. “You have my blessing.”
Chapter 79
RIVERS RESIDENCE, WEST SEATTLE, WASHINGTON
Two weeks after Finland…
"RAYNE CARTER IS alive.”
Marigold and my father, who are sitting on the couch in front of me, go silent. We were having a pleasant time discussing Red’s journal—I’ve been memorizing every lesson, every word, along with Kai’s book of poems, even if it wrecks me—when I drop the news.
For two weeks, I’ve debated how to tell her, but I also needed to confirm it. After my research, there’s no mistake. Every number and shred of evidence confirms it. Not only is she alive, she’s with Kai and working for Palermo.
I turn away from the window where a set of gray waves rolls up on our sandy stretch of beach, and focus on Marigold, whose dark eyes are now wide. “I saw her in Finland.”
I explain everything from the tunnels to Kai driving away with her to the hyper-fast acting medicine that Kai used on Noble and me. Blood drains from Marigold’s face and her frequency fractures into multiple oscillations crashing in the room. Yet, she remains the usual strong woman I know. Only this time I see her squeeze my father’s arm until her hand goes white.
A motherly flicker of pain and love burns behind her eyes—a theme of my last few weeks. When I finish, Marigold bites back her emotion. She offers no solution, no ideas. She needs to process. I do too.
There are so many complex pieces wrapped into Rayne—Kai, Palermo, PSS, and the fact that Marigold once viewed her as a daughter, perhaps not unlike the way she’s looked at my sisters and me lately. A part of me wonders if that will change now.
Marigold scoots over and gives me a tight hug. I almost choke up. I wasn’t expecting her to share her feelings with me. I only started calling her Marigold outside the PSS office seven days ago. Still, her arms are a comfort.
“Thank you, Josephine,” she says, her voice low and quiet. Then she stands, grabbing her thick gray overcoat. “I’m going to take a walk on the beach for a few minutes. Be back soon.” She excuses herself and slips out the back porch sliding door.
My dad waits a minute until she’s out of view then turns to me. “You know, honey,” my dad says. “It won’t kill you to tell us these things earlier.”
I chew on the inside of my lip as I take the mug of tea back into my hands. He’s right, but there was much more than Rayne Carter spinning in my head. Since watching Kai drive away with her, my mind hasn’t stopped calculating.
A fire flickers in the hearth. I stare at it, the smell of pine and pitch bringing back memories of the sauna in the Arctic.
My father picks up on the fact that I don’t want to talk about Rayne anymore. He shifts his legs and pours me more tea. “So, what happened with Kai and Noble?” he asks eagerly. He’s waited patiently for me to broach the subject, but I could tell it was hard for him. “I figured you’d tell me by now… I’m dying over here.”
“Sorry, Dad,” I say, patting his knee. “You were right. I needed to find someone who was going my direction, someone I can face anything with, and I did.” I pause, thinking about Kai’s frequency wrapped up in mine in the warehouse. I feel him, like that whale under the boat. No matter where I go, I’ll never escape him. “Kai’s the one—”
“Yes! I knew it!” He pumps and swings his elbow into his side, then regains his composure. “Sorry. I just got excited. I really like Noble, but I missed Kai…Um, go on. So, you guys are getting back together?”
“Not exactly.” I set my cup down. “He’s really upset about what I did.”
My father wrinkles his brow. “About you breaking up with him?”
“Not that part.” I bite my lip, a sour look sliding onto my face. “I also drugged him.”
“What?” he shrieks. “Jo!”
I shrug. “It seemed like a good idea at the time. Long story.” I shake my head. “He doesn’t trust me anymore. So, it’s over.” I don’t mention the plans rumbling in the back of my mind to change that.
Dad is wide-eyed like he clearly agrees with Kai on the whole “drugging” him matter, but then he pulls my hands to his. “No, honey. I know when two people have deep feelings for one another. They don’t call me the love doctor for nothing. He’ll come around. You’ll get back together one day.”
One day. Not a specific enough number for me.
I smile at him anyway. “Thanks, Dad, I know you’re just being hopeful, but it might take more than that. Whatever comes next is going to be a challenge. I feel it.”
K2 alerts me of a call from China. I jump up, snapping my purse to dig out my phone. My weekly chat with Chan is back on.
“Sorry, Dad. I need to take this. He doesn’t have a lot of time today.” I answer the phone. “Zao. Morning. You’re up early.” I stop abruptly. “Oh, hi, Dr. Ling.” Her voice is lined with panic. “Slow down. What’s going on?”
My smile fades. Blood starts racing through my veins. I harden my voice to stop it from trembling. “Where is he?” I close my eyes. I’d wondered when this would happen. Repercussions.
