"I'd like a word with Captain Leslie, if he’s available.”

  The guy gave him a quick once-over, the question on his face clear why Brantley would need to speak to the acting Captain. He wasn’t gonna offer unless asked, and even then, he already had an excuse made up. “Wait here. I'll ask him if he can see you.”

  He waited a few minutes, thinking the guy must've forgotten about him, when finally the door opened and Captain Leslie stepped out. As soon as he saw Brantley, he let out a sigh. "I had a feeling I would see you today."

  "Is he okay?"

  Captain Leslie studied him for a few seconds, and Brantley kept eye contact. "He is. It's his father. He was found late last night local time by his wife. He had a massive heart attack, and from the little they were able to tell the captain over the phone, it doesn't look good."

  His father. Oh god. Brantley knew from his stories how close Fox still was with his parents. "Is he going to make it?"

  Captain Leslie's face was kind when he answered. "They're not sure. He's on his way back to the Netherlands now."

  "Shit," Brantley said. "Sorry for my language, Captain."

  "Nothing I haven't heard before. He left a message for you with me."

  Brantley's eyes lit up. "He did?"

  Captain Leslie put his hands in his pocket and pulled out a folded piece of paper. "Here. I didn't read it, in case you wondered."

  Brantley shrugged. "I really didn't, but thank you. I appreciate this, Captain."

  He put the paper in his own pocket. Captain Leslie lifted an eyebrow. "Aren't you going to read it?"

  "Not in front of you, Captain. No disrespect, but this feels personal to me."

  "It stopped being personal when you guys involved me as your personal messenger, don't you think?"

  He had a point there, but that still didn't mean Brantley was happy about revealing more than strictly necessary to him. In this case, he'd better give in to his request, though. He took the paper out of his pocket again and folded it open.

  "Bentley,

  I have to go, and I have no way to tell you or wake you before I do. I'm sorry. I don't have much time to write this, and even if I did, I wouldn't have the words to convey what I want to say. We need to talk, you and I. We need to figure out what this is, and where we go from here. So… Please wait for me. Wait for me to come back, so we can talk. And do other things, possibly.

  Your Silver"

  He had to fight to keep the tears from his eyes. There was a note of desperation in the words that wrapped around his heart like a cold fist. He sensed it, Fox's emotions, his frustration, his anger at not being able to fix this. It sucked that on a day where he had needed support more than anything, Fox was alone. No, they never defined themselves as boyfriends, but in reality, that's what they had been for the last weeks. And god, Brantley wanted to be there for him, but he couldn't.

  He couldn't. Right?

  He looked up at Captain Leslie, whose eyes were still fixed on him. There was an expectation there, and it clicked with Brantley. It was absolutely crazy, especially considering he'd not even finished his first month on board. And to be honest, he couldn't believe he was doing this. But he was. It wasn't even a consideration, something he needed to think about. He knew within the depths of his soul that's what he needed to do.

  "Captain Leslie, if I needed emergency relief to be there for my boyfriend, who would I make the request to?"

  The hand that landed on his shoulder was strong, and it was accompanied by a look that spoke volumes. "That would be with me. Your request is approved. I’ll let Carol know.”

  Barely twenty hours later, Brantley walked out into the arrivals hall of Amsterdam Schiphol Airport, his backpack slung over his right shoulder. It was amazing how fast you could get somewhere if you were willing to pay for it. It had cost him a good chunk of his savings, but he’d found flight connections that had brought him to Amsterdam.

  Captain Leslie had provided him with a phone number for Fox, as well as the address of the hospital where his father had been admitted. As luck would have it, it was in Amsterdam. Apparently, Fox’s father had been visiting friends when it had happened and had been rushed to the nearest emergency room. At least, those were the details Captain Leslie had sent him per email. He'd also said Fox didn't know he was coming and that he had his reasons not to tell him.

  He caught an Uber from the airport to the hospital, which took much longer than he had expected due to insane traffic. He'd done a little research while on the plane, gladly paying for the twenty dollars so he'd have Wi-Fi on board, and while he'd read that traffic was congested in the Netherlands, things were much worse than he had expected. Hell, this was New York City level of traffic, and it took forever until they reached the hospital.

  The good news was that the Uber driver—whose English was pretty decent—seemed to sense that Brantley wasn't in the mood to chat. Brantley appreciated the soft background noise of the radio, leaning his head against his arm as he looked out the window where remarkably flat green pastures with grazing cows quickly made place for a city landscape.

  The Uber dropped him off near the front entrance. He had to take a deep breath before he stepped into the hospital. The idea that Fox wasn't aware he was coming was scary as fuck. What if he would get upset with Brantley? What if he wasn't welcome here? What if he had horribly overstepped the nonexisting boundaries of their nonexisting relationship?

  All of these were real possibilities, and yet, even knowing the risks, he had still decided to come. All he had to do was imagine himself in Fox's place, pretend for a second he would get a similar call about his parents. God, he'd want Fox by his side. That thought, that image of him being there for Brantley had the roles been reversed had made him decide on the spot that this was what he had to do.

  But now that the time had come, his stomach swirled with nerves that he'd miscalculated horribly. Not that there was anything he could do about it now. He hadn't come all this way to chicken out. His mind made up, he straightened his shoulders and walked into the hospital, where he found a friendly blonde lady behind the information desk who explained in heavily accented English where the CCU was.

  CCU stood for Coronary Care Unit, he had discovered online. The hospital website had described it as the intensive care unit for cardiac patients. Brantley had been amazed to discover most of their website had an English translation as well. Thank fuck for that, because he’d tried to read Dutch and hadn’t been able to understand much of it.

  He made his way to the fifth floor, where a multilingual sign informed him visiting hours were between eleven and twelve and from four until seven thirty PM. He checked his watch. Excellent timing on his part, as it was a few minutes before eleven. In the waiting room, several people had gathered already, and he found a spot to sit down.

  It was maybe a minute later when he heard his voice, and even though Fox was speaking Dutch, Brantley immediately recognized it. He jumped up from his chair and walked into the hallway, where he came face-to-face with Fox who was talking to a woman who looked so much like him, she had to be his sister.

  Fox froze in his tracks when he spotted Brantley, his mouth dropping open slightly in what would've been comical under any other circumstance. Brantley's stomach churned, twisted, somersaulted as he awaited Fox's reaction. But then Fox closed the distance between them and fell into Brantley's arms, burying his face against his shoulder.

  Brantley wrapped his arms around him and pulled him close, dropping his backpack to the floor in the process. He held him tight, his hand finding Fox's neck and rubbing him there gently while his other hand was wrapped around his waist.

  "I can't believe you are here," Fox whispered, his voice hoarse with emotions. "You're like a vision."

  Any lingering doubt about whether he'd made the right call vanished. "I'm here," Brantley said. "I'm here for you, baby."

  It was maybe two, three minutes later that Fox finally let go of him, and then all the questions came. "How did you get here? How did you even know where to go? How did you manage to get leave on such short notice?"

  Brantley fixed Fox's hair, which had been a little disheveled. "Captain Leslie. He granted me emergency leave and told me where I could find you."

  Fox drew in a quick breath. "He was okay with it?"

  Brantley shrugged. "I don't think he was happy about it, but he was more than willing to let me go so I could be with you."

  "I can't tell you how much it means to me that you're here. Brantley, I…"

  Brantley saw him struggle for words. "It's okay. You don't have to say anything right now. I'm here, and that's all that matters. How's your dad doing?"

  Fox had always looked virile and strong to Brantley, but now he showed every year of his age in his eyes, the dark circles around them, the deep worry lines on his forehead.

  "He's not doing well," Fox said softly. "He had a massive heart attack, and they immediately had to go in to repair the damage. He hasn't regained consciousness yet, which is not a good sign."

  Brantley reached for his hand, lacing their fingers together. "I'm so sorry."

  "Fokke, are you going to introduce me to your boyfriend?" the woman asked, and Brantley was glad he recognized Fox's real Dutch surname, because the way she pronounced it really did make it sound like the F-bomb. She'd spoken English but had still pronounced his real name in Dutch.

  Fox turned around, holding on to Brantley's hand. "Brantley, this is my sister Froukje. Sis, this is Brantley, my..." He looked at Brantley, who had the distinct pleasure of seeing Captain Silver Fox blush fiercely.

  "I'm his boyfriend, but it seems he has a little trouble saying the word," he said to Fox's sister, whose name he had no idea how to spell, let alone pronounce after hearing it just once. "But it's a pleasure to meet you, even if other circumstances could have been better."

  "Boyfriend, huh?" she said, extending her hand. "That little detail you forgot to mention when you told me about him."

  The latter was, of course, aimed at Fox, who smiled sheepishly. "Oops?"

  "Let's just say it's a fairly recent thing," Brantley said, shaking her hand. "And he didn't know I was coming."

  "I already thought so. But thank you. I'm sure it means a lot to Fokke that you are here."

  “My brother is with my mom right now. She’s not doing so well after what happened to my dad. Froukje and I were just about to go in and see him," Fox said to Brantley.

  Brantley recalled the other information on the sign near the entrance, especially the part that said patients were only allowed two visitors at a time. "You two go visit with your father. I'll wait here."

  "Are you sure?" Fox asked. "I feel bad about leaving you alone when you just arrived."

  Brantley leaned in for a soft kiss. "I'm sure. Go with your sister. I'll wait for you."

  He hadn't quoted Fox's letter on purpose, but the man's eyes softened. "Thank you. Thank you for coming. Thank you for waiting."

  Brantley smiled at him. "I'll wait as long as you need me to."

  16

  He'd never seen his father this pale, this fragile. As Fox sat by his side, holding his hand, he was struck by his dad's humanity. In his eyes, his dad had always been so strong. Bigger than life. And despite working hard, he'd taken good care of himself. He'd been in excellent shape, didn't smoke, drank in moderation, and as far as Fox knew, he'd been in good health. To see him now like this, it was a harsh reminder that life could turn in an instant.

  "So," Froukje said in Dutch. "You have a boyfriend."

  "You lied to him. I never told you about him."

  Froukje rolled her eyes at him, something she'd always been good at. "And how do you think that would've made him feel, knowing you never even mentioned him? I didn't want him to feel like he didn't matter, not after he flew halfway across the world to be with you. Which, by the way, is a really romantic thing to do, in case you didn't realize it."

  Fox leaned back in the uncomfortable chair next to his dad's bed, holding on to the frail hand that had the scary IV needle in it. Best not to think too much about that. He'd always been slightly scared of needles, much to the amusement of his sister, who was an OR nurse.

  "Trust me, I'm well aware of the importance of his presence here. More than you know."

  Froukje, who sat on the other side of the bed, met his eyes over their dad's sleeping body. "Why didn't you tell me about him?"

  Fox sighed. "Because our relationship is super complicated, and it wasn't smart to say anything to anyone."

  Froukje frowned. "Why would you have to be hush-hush? I thought you were out at work. And I've only seen him for a few minutes, but it seems to me he's pretty comfortable with who he is as well."

  Fox dragged a hand through his hair, smiling as he remembered how Brantley had fixed it minutes before. "He's a crew member."

  Froukje's mouth dropped open a little before she caught herself. "Holy fuck, are you serious?"

  Fox sent her an irritated look. "As if I would joke about something like that."

  "Oh my God, I can't believe you've violated the rules. You, my brother, who has always been such a stickler for rules."

  "Are you sure you're not confusing me with Frits?" he asked, referring to their brother. "He's the one who's followed every rule and made the crazy career in the Air Force."

  She shook her head. "Nope, I was talking about you. Maybe I shouldn't have said rules. They’re more principles for you, and you've always been so strict with yourself about sticking to them. It's something I always admired in you, but it worried me a little as well."

  "Why would that worry you? Aren't principles a good thing?"

  "They are if one knows when to bend them a little. So what made you decide to break your own rules or principles or whatever for him? I mean, he's super cute and all, but I've never known you to go for looks alone."

  He smiled at her, already forgiving her for the critical remark about his principles. It's how they rolled in his family. They always told the truth. Dutch direct, they called him, but it was only a fraction of what his family was used to with each other.

  "He just flew halfway across the world to be with me. What more do you need to know about him than that?"

  "But you had no idea he would come. Why not?"

  "Because I didn't ask him to. He works for me, Froukje. When you called me with the news about Dad, it was three in the morning. I couldn't wake him without arousing suspicion from anyone else, since he has a cabinmate. I left a message for him with my co-captain, and luckily, he got that message. I never expected him to fly in, though. That was all him."

  She studied him for a few seconds. "It's a wonderful thing to do."

  "He is kind of wonderful."

  "So he's the one."

  "The one?”

  "The one who will make you question if it's worth it, the life you chose."

  Leave it to his sister to get to the core immediately. She always had been exceptionally talented at pressing where it hurt the most.

  "Yeah," he said softly. "He's the one."

  "And? What's your answer to that question?"

  He let out a sigh that felt as if it was coming from his soul. "I don't know. I don't know if he and I even have a chance, considering the fact that I'm his boss and what we're doing could get us both fired. Even aside from that, I don't know what we are. We haven't had much opportunity to define ourselves. That whole boyfriend label? That was the first time either of us even dropped the word."

  "But you're in love with him."

  Froukje said it as a statement, not as a question. "As I said, it's complicated, and I have no idea what we are."

  She let go of their dad's other hand, then got up from her chair and walked around to position herself on the bed close to Fox. "He flew around the world to be with you. You broke all your principles for him. I don't know how much more obvious it could be that the two of you are in love with each other."

  She couldn't have shocked him more if she'd slapped him in the face. Not so much because of her statements, since she'd said the same right before, though she had been talking about Fox alone then. No, it was her simple line of reasoning that struck a chord with Fox.

  Would he have violated his principles for anyone else? He'd never done so, had never even been tempted in all those years. Until Brantley had come along. He was risking everything for him, and he would do it all over again if he had the choice.

  And she was right, the fact that Brantley had asked for an emergency leave, had made himself vulnerable to Brody, even risking getting fired, just so he could be with Fox… It spoke volumes. Then there was the sleepy statement he’d made where he’d spoken those words that Fox had kept playing in his head, not daring to believe they were true.

  His sister was right. They were in love with each other. Holy crap.

  When Fox walked out of the CCU, he looked even more tired than before. Brantley didn’t even need to ask how his dad was, because he could see it on his face.

  “You need some sleep,” he told Fox. “You look like crap.”

  Fox smiled despite everything. “That’s a very Dutch thing to say.”

  “Glad to hear it. Now, is there a place you can go to rest?”

  Fox nodded. “I’m staying in a hotel nearby.”

  Hand in hand they walked to the parking lot where Fox’s rented car was parked. It was the tiniest car Brantley had ever been in, a cute-as-a-bug little Fiat that he would never dare to drive in the US out of fear of getting squashed by some pickup truck. Fox drove it easily, zipping in and out of the busy traffic with the ease of someone who was familiar with the area. The hotel was only a few minutes away, and they made it quickly.

  He’d rented a suite again, Brantley saw as they stepped in. “You like your space, huh?”

  Fox shrugged. “I spend so much of my time in cramped spaces that once onshore, I need some room to move. It’s money well spent.”

 

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