She frowned at the little red dot she used to track her period. Two days late was rare for her. Hm. Maybe she’d miscalculated. She rarely did that, and her body knew better than not to be perfectly on time. So, it had to be a miscalculation, but she was too tired to go back and count.

  Two more days passed and the red dot taunted her. She’d counted at least ten times and…her period was four days late.

  She wouldn’t freak out though. This was an aberration. The stress of the celebrity wedding stuff. That was all. Her period had never been this late before, but that didn’t mean…anything. It was impossible for it to mean anything.

  On the fifth day, she convinced herself she was crazy, but after work she drove out of Marietta, to the closest drug store where no one would know her at and bought a pregnancy test. One of the fancy ones that actually said “pregnant” or “not pregnant” because she wasn’t going to be misreading any little pink lines.

  And it would say “not pregnant” because this was insane. She took it home, certain she’d get in the bathroom and this would all be moot.

  No such luck. She frowned at the box. Okay, so she’d take the test just to prove to the little niggling voice in her head that she was insane. Completely out of her mind. She read over the directions—twice for good measure—and followed them to the letter.

  She set her phone timer and waited, ignoring the flipping, dropping feeling in her stomach because there was no way she was pregnant after having sex once and with a condom. No. Way.

  The timer went off and she jumped. She blew out a breath and forced herself to look, because…this wasn’t possible. She would look over and it would say…

  Pregnant.

  Pregnant.

  That…it could not possibly be right. They’d used a condom. It was her first time! There was no way. No. Way. She angrily tossed the offensive test in the trash and stalked out of the bathroom.

  She stood in her kitchen, trying to force herself to think about dinner, about flowers, about anything that wasn’t that test. But how could she think about anything when there was a positive pregnancy test in her bathroom trash?

  She stormed back into the bathroom, read the directions three more times, then took the second test in the box. When the timer went off, she didn’t jump, because this time she’d watched the test the entire time.

  Pregnant.

  She was pregnant. With Beckett’s baby.

  Her one and only foray into doing something she shouldn’t, and she’d gotten knocked up from a one night stand by a guy who wasn’t even around anymore.

  She wanted to laugh, but it came out sounding a more like a sob.

  *

  One thing Kaitlin wasn’t, was a wallower. She may have entertained a brief freak-out, but the next two weeks were planned to the second. She made a doctor’s appointment in Bozeman, she read up on early pregnancy, and she tried not to think of how on earth she was going to tell Beckett.

  She didn’t tell anyone, though the way her mother sometimes side-eyed her at their random family dinners made Kaitlin more than a little paranoid that Mom knew.

  But she didn’t say anything, which was the Shuller way after all. She would tell them. Well, she’d have to, but she wanted the whole doctor confirmation thing first. A due date. A plan. Then she could tell people.

  After she told Beckett.

  She walked out of the doctor’s office in Bozeman with information. Tons of it. Confirmation. To dos. To don’ts. A due date.

  The plans didn’t formulate. She had no idea what was going to happen next, even when she had it in list form. How was she going to…How did she…What was…

  She sat in her car and cried again. She was so tired of crying but, damn it, this was overwhelming. And now she had no excuse between her and telling Beckett.

  Well, she had one. She didn’t have his phone number and she didn’t know exactly where he lived. Unfortunately, she knew where he worked. Unfortunately, the chances Luke would also be there were…high.

  But, she had no choice. She had let herself stray from the straight and narrow, and this was her penance. Embarrassment and discomfort, but it was what it was, because…well, there was no revoking this, and she was an adult. She was strong and financially responsible, and she could raise a child.

  She’d wanted to be a mom someday. This was a little fast-forwarded, and not at all in the way she’d planned, but she did want to be a mother. She couldn’t feel the child growing inside of her yet, but she still felt…different.

  And if she let herself think about what this all really meant, a little baby that was all hers. It was overwhelming and scary, yes, but it was exciting, too. Now, if she could only find the way and words to tell Beckett.

  She mopped up her tears and slowly drove to Shuller Restoration. Luke’s little house was behind the shop, and though it was a cute place, it was obvious almost all his money went into the business side of things.

  She checked herself in the mirror. Her eyes were a little red-rimmed, but what could be done? Someone was already emerging from the shop to greet her.

  “Hi, miss, we don’t take drive-ins, but—”

  “Oh, no, I’m not here for car stuff.” It had been a while since she’d been at Shuller. She didn’t recognize this guy, and she didn’t remember Luke mentioning hiring anyone new, but maybe she hadn’t been listening. She’d been so preoccupied.

  “Um, actually I’m looking for Beck—”

  “Kaitlin! What are you doing here?”

  She jumped about a foot as Luke came out from nowhere behind her. She whirled. “You scared the crap out of me. Where did you come from?”

  He pointed to his house. “Conference call. Quieter inside. What are you doing here?”

  She immediately felt like an idiot. How was she going to talk to Beckett with Luke lurking outside? “Oh, I had an appointment in town and I…thought I’d stop by.”

  Luke nodded to the guy who’d greeted her. “Hey, Charlie, this is my sister. You can head back inside.” The guy nodded, disappeared into the shop.

  When Kaitlin turned back to her brother, he was frowning. “Were you asking about Beckett?”

  “No. No. Of course not.” She forced a bright smile. “I came to see you.”

  His disbelieving, frowny expression didn’t change.

  “But I, uh, don’t see Beckett. Haven’t you made up with him yet?”

  The frown deepened, everything about him angry and suspicious. Ugh, she was a terrible actress for someone who had spent most of her life pretending.

  “Why are you so interested in Beckett?”

  “I’m not especially interested. I just…care. That you didn’t screw up your oldest friendship.”

  “I didn’t screw it up.”

  She blew out a breath. How was she going to do this?

  “He quit,” Luke muttered.

  “What?” He wasn’t even here. He didn’t have a job. Oh…what on earth had happened? Would he even be in town anymore? What if he’d left Montana? How would she find him? Tell him? She swallowed down her panic, trying to hear Luke over the thundering in her ears.

  “He quit. He made a mistake and he decided to quit instead of man up and fix it.” Luke started stalking back toward his house, the implication she should follow.

  She couldn’t get her feet to work. That couldn’t be…right. It couldn’t be. Beckett had always loved working on cars, and she remembered how excited he and Luke were when they’d started this little business. It had been nothing then, and they’d built it together.

  Finally she got her feet to move and she started following Luke. “When?”

  Luke stopped, turned. “About a month ago.”

  Oh, crap. No. No, no, no.

  “I’m in the process of buying him out.”

  “What?” she screeched.

  “Oh, calm down. You never even liked Beckett.” He stalked inside, and after a moment of being rooted to her spot in the yard, she followed.

  Once she stepped inside, he shut the door. Ominously. Like he was locking her up, which was silly, but she wasn’t sure she’d put anything past Luke and the expression on his face.

  “Why are you here? What’s really going on?”

  “Nothing. I just can’t believe…” She couldn’t even be subtle anymore. She had to find him. A month ago? Like…a few days after they’d… Oh, no. “I need you to give me his address.”

  “Like hell. Why would I give you his address?”

  “No reason that is any of your business.”

  “Kaitlin.”

  She matched his wide-legged stance, his stern big brother tone. “Luke.”

  “Please tell me you didn’t…”

  “Tell you I didn’t what?” she asked with an arch of her eyebrow.

  “Melanie said…she said she thought she saw you leaving Grey’s with Beckett the night of Sierra’s wedding. But that’s impossible, right? Because you, my darling, practical sister wouldn’t do that. You would have gone home. Straight home.” He grabbed her by the shoulders and gave her a little shake. “Right?”

  “It doesn’t matter.”

  His hands squeezed. “It matters,” he said darkly.

  “Tell me where he lives, Luke.”

  “Over my dead body.”

  She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and counted to ten. She had to think. She had to be sneaky. She had to outright lie if it got her what she wanted. She opened her eyes, determined to come up with some story to get Luke to tell her Beckett’s address.

  Which was when she saw Luke’s cell on the little table in the living room he’d turned into an office so he could have quiet but still see the road and the shop from the front window. Her organized, anal brother would most definitely have Beckett’s address in that little phone of his.

  “Okay, fine.” Casually, she walked into the room and plopped herself on the chair, being very careful not to look at or draw attention to the phone. “Aren’t you going to offer me a drink or a meal?”

  “Will you tell me what’s going on if I do?”

  She nodded solemnly.

  “Fine. I’ve got pop, and some of those chips you like if you’re hungry.”

  “Perfect. Why don’t you bring them out here?” When he opened his mouth to protest, presumably because he’d never eat anywhere near his precious work papers, Kaitlin pressed on. “The Beckett explanation thing is work related.”

  His eyebrows scrunched together. Probably since that made no sense, but he shrugged and headed to the back of the house and the kitchen.

  Wasting no time, Kaitlin dove for Luke’s phone. Luckily, he wasn’t paranoid enough to ever change his passcode and she had a very good memory. Tap, tap, tap, tap and she was in. She scrolled through the contacts, quick with unsteady hands and a too hard beating heart, took a pic of the screen with her own phone. “You know what, forget the snack, Luke,” she yelled, already one hand on the door. “Gotta go!”

  “Wait. What? Are you—”

  She didn’t hear the rest of what he said because she’d scurried out of the house, the door shutting behind her. She didn’t run, still a little concerned about the fragility of growing another human being inside of her, but she hurried.

  She got to her car. Luke’s cursing echoed through the yard, but she slid inside and shoved her key in the ignition before he started into a run. She pulled out of the drive as quickly as safety allowed and offered Luke a little wave as she drove away, heart still pounding.

  The pounding probably wouldn’t stop any time soon, because next up on this day of super crazy stress was facing the father of her baby.

  Chapter Nine

  ‡

  Beckett was almost completely packed. He still wasn’t sure which job he was going to take next. There was the guy in California who wanted his old Model T restored, and Beckett was dying to get his hands on a car that old, but there was a guy in Virginia who was offering more money for a ’64 Ford pick-up job.

  Either way, he was letting the lease on this place run out next month and he was getting out of Montana, period. Good on him for being frugal enough the past year to make this possible. He could travel wherever he wanted until the money from Luke buying him out came through.

  Work on whatever he wanted. He was in charge of his own life, and though he’d been on his own for a while now, this was the first time he felt like he was acting instead of reacting.

  Right. Leaving Montana has nothing to do with Kaitlin or Luke.

  Okay, so maybe a little reacting, but not the way he used to. Not drowning himself in bad. No, he was moving on without drowning his sorrows. Adulting at its finest.

  He was shoving the random crap leftover from box packing into a duffel bag when a knock sounded on the door. It was probably the obnoxious guy across the hall who was always asking him for car repairs. For free of course. Neighbor discount and all that.

  Beckett rolled his eyes and jerked the door open. His heart stopped.

  “Hi,” Kaitlin offered, lifting her arm in awkward wave.

  “What are you doing here?” He had no idea how the words sounded—demanding or desperate or casual—because he couldn’t hear himself over the hammering of his heart in his ears.

  Was he talking? Breathing? Hallucinating?

  “I…have to talk to you.”

  He cleared his throat, hoping to clear his head with it. He couldn’t think of any reason she’d be here. “Luke’s okay, isn’t he?”

  She nodded as she stepped inside. “Everyone’s okay.”

  “All right. So…” So what? She smelled like hell if he knew, her. She looked…the same. Her hair was pulled back, she wasn’t wearing makeup, her clothes were bland and shapeless. There was no reason he should be thinking of ripping them off her.

  You will not be rebellion a second time. Hopefully if he silently said that to himself enough times it would remain true, because if she was going to set out to seduce him again…

  He’d have to relive the moment in Java again, and he sincerely did not want to do that.

  She cleared her throat, clutching her hands together. Everything about her screamed nerves and discomfort, only it wasn’t like the wedding where she had misery and determination behind it.

  “You’re…moving?” she asked, looking around the room. “Where?”

  It was almost…accusatory, and that pissed him off. “Far away from Montana, sweetheart. Now, do you have something you wanted to say? Because I have things to do.”

  “Why…are you leaving Montana?”

  His jaw tensed so hard it hurt, radiated down his neck and into his heart. Yeah, jaw pain, not the note of disappointment in her voice. She did not care if he was leaving, and he would not let himself think she would.

  “Nothing left for me here.”

  “Luke said you quit. I…I’m sorry.”

  “For what?”

  She rubbed fingers against her temples and blew out a breath, but it was the way she flattened her other palm over her stomach that reminded him of something years ago.

  He pushed that reminder away. Last thing he wanted to think about right now. “Tell me why you’re here.”

  She nodded, another breath in and out. “All right. I’m…I’m just going to say it.” Her head was bobbing, a never ending nod.

  He waited.

  And waited.

  Swallowing down the sick nerves when her hand never left her stomach, instead it moved in a slow circle.

  No. No, this wasn’t…happening. Surely not again. Twice in one lifetime was kind of overkill, wasn’t it? Of course this was the lifetime of Beckett Larson. At this point, was anything overkill?

  “I’m pregnant.”

  He let the words land like the little bombs they were. She was pregnant. He wasn’t stupid enough to ask if it was his. He’d made this mistake before a long time ago.

  “I know it’s a shock, especially since we used protection, and I want you to know I don’t expect anything from you, but I wanted to be fair. I thought you should…know.”

  I don’t expect anything from you.

  Why was that far more of a slap in the face than a surprise pregnancy?

  I can’t tell my parents it was you.

  Twice in one life time. He’d helped create a life and in the same breath he was changed, he was told he wasn’t good enough to take responsibility.

  In the end, it hadn’t mattered with Janelle. She’d lost the baby before she’d even made it to her first appointment, before she’d even had the courage to tell her parents, and he’d only known that because she sent him a note.

  Please stay away from me. You’ve put me through enough.

  He hadn’t wanted to believe it was his fault, but she’d gone through senior year pale and quiet and always, always making sure to keep as far away from his as possible.

  And he’d never known what to do with all those feelings. Seventeen and finding out he was going to be a father. Thinking for three or four days, he’d created a life he’d never get to be part of, only to find out that life had winked out before it had been allowed to become much more than a fuzzy possibility.

  Beckett looked at Kaitlin, panic and a sick kind of fear clutching his gut. That wasn’t going to happen here. He was an adult, and he wasn’t going to colossally mess this one up. Not any more than he already had.

  “You’ve been to the doctor?”

  She blinked at him as if that was the last thing she expected him to say. “Yes. Just.”

  “And everything is…” He swallowed because he knew the grief would be different this time, the blame. It would all be so much more now that he really understood.

  “Everything is normal. It was mainly just…introductory, I guess. But they confirmed the positive test and…all that.” She stepped toward him, as if she was going to touch him. Reassuringly. But she stopped short. “You don’t have to… That is, I can handle this on my own. I don’t want you to feel obligated. It was an accident, and I was the one who…well, kind of forced the issue. You shouldn’t feel…trapped by this.”

 

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13