See me, p.39
See Me, page 39
“She protected you.”
“In a manner of speaking, she managed to get the high school to allow me to graduate early. I was enrolled in college that fall. She sent me away, and Doug got to stay with her. He’s still there on the farm today,” I finished bitterly.
“You believe she sent you away to protect her son?”
“Didn’t she?” I countered. My hurt and anger seeped into my tone.
“I think she made a rational decision for all the parties.”
I considered his answer.
“You weren’t meant for the farming life. She knew, eventually, you’d go off to college. She couldn’t see her son jailed, so she sent you away to start your new life and kept him close so she could watch him.”
“I’ve never thought about it that way.” I let out a sigh. “He’s in charge of the farm now. He doesn’t have any kids, but my cousins do. Do you think that he hurts them, or was I a onetime deal, an opportunity too good to pass up?” Dear God, this was terrible…remembering it all and what it could mean.
“I’ll send Lore out tomorrow to kill him for hurting you,” Black said.
“Don’t.”
“I’ll do it myself.”
I turned in his arms so I could face him. “Please don’t.” I didn’t want another death marked on his soul and not for me.
“He hurt you.”
“I don’t want you to do that for me.”
“You think I can’t kill a human male?”
“Of course, you can.” Of that, I had no doubt. “I don’t want you to kill for me.”
“Because you will kill him yourself?” He sounded intrigued and excited at the thought.
“If I found out that he’d touched another child, then yes.” I knew immediately that I would do it.
He chuckled and traced the bones along my spine. “My woman is so bloodthirsty.”
I was quiet for a long time as I thought about his words. “I refused you…”
“I now understand,” he said in a clipped tone.
“But do you understand that I kept those memories buried for years?” My voice cracked, and I swallowed and squeezed my eyes shut, hoping to cut off the tears before they began. “I wanted to please you...to help.”
“You do, Theo. You are too generous, with your body and your…caring.”
“Raider,” I gripped his chest, my nails digging in, “I want to give you whatever you need.”
“My sweet girl, you do.” He kissed me.
That way, you won’t forget me when I’m gone.
I felt him get up and heard the shower start. He did not invite me to join him and I was too tired to ask. I closed my eyes and dozed some more.
I felt the bed depress, and his lips were on my cheek. “I’m needed at the office.”
I opened my eyes and raised my hand to run it through his still wet hair. “Do you need me to go with you?”
“I need to address what we learned yesterday.”
I started to sit up again.
“Babe, if I find that you are needed, I will call, but I think you need to rest today.”
I relaxed back against my soft pillows. “I need to go to Conal’s. I’m out of clothes and the ones I need are there.” It was hard living out of suitcases. I never seemed to have the right clean clothes when or where I needed them.
“I’ll pick you up there, later.” He kissed the side of my mouth. “It’s time that you stop keeping your things at Conal’s.”
I wasn’t ready for that conversation. It was too soon. “Lore will be disappointed when I don’t come in for training.”
“He might be on his way to Ohio.”
“No, please.” I gripped his forearm. “I want to forget that. I need to in order to move on.”
The muscle at the side of his jaw pulsed.
“Please, I-I’m begging you. Please don’t do anything.”
“I make no promises, Theo,” he said, his tone grave, “but I’ll issue no order today.”
I closed my eyes and nodded as relief made me feel dizzy. “Thank you, Laird.”
* * *
Solle was home when I arrived. She looked tired. I know that I was. “What’s up, Doc?” I tried to tease my friend.
“I’m sitting here feeling guilty about not going in today.” She had a coffee mug in front of her.
“I’m sure you aren’t the only one. Black gave me the day off.” I was in a pair of his sweats and a T-shirt. I wanted to change into my own clothes—after a long soak in the hot tub.
She sniffed the air. “Why do I smell blood?” She was now giving me a narrowed eyed look. “Did he hurt you?” She got to her feet and moved toward me.
“No,” I defended him immediately.
She sniffed the air again and softened her tone. “Perhaps, it was an accident?”
Thank God, an easy excuse. “Yes.” Although I wasn’t sure she believed me.
“What’s going on?” She switched into doctor mode.
“Things got intense.” I headed down the steps to the basement with Solle close on my heels.
She followed me outside to the deck and we uncovered the hot tub without any more conversation.
I stripped out of the too-large clothes.
Solle stopped me from getting into the bubbling water with a gentle hand on my arm. “Those look deep.”
I glanced down at my body. The marks hadn’t healed. They were bleeding in places.
“They might scar.”
I moved away from her and walked around the tub, trying to put some space between us. “Then I’ll carry his marks on my body.” I held her gaze the entire time as I entered the tub.
“As you wish.” She stripped and joined me in the rapidly warming water.
We settled ourselves on the benches, I rested my head back and closed my eyes.
“You used the word intense.”
I opened my eyes and sat up straighter. Of course, she wouldn’t let this go.
Her brown eyes had turned almost black. “In what way?”
I tried to ease into my explanation. “He warned me that he was…in a dark place.”
“He kept you with him?” she said, her voice rising.
“I insisted, Solle.” I hoped that would calm her down, hearing it was my choice. “It was all me.”
“Why?” She gave me a look that communicated I’d made a crazy decision. She then sighed deeply and frowned. “You don’t have to tell me, I already know.”
I jutted my chin. “He was going to end up with another.”
“And you couldn’t handle that?”
“Of course not,” I said hotly.
“You love him,” she stated with finality.
I refused to use that word or even think it. I looked away and stared out at their yard. I needed to talk about this, but I was having trouble finding the courage. Saying it would make it truer, more real. “I shouldn’t.”
“I don’t believe that.” She moved closer to me and gripped my hand. “You two are meant to be together.”
“It won’t last,” I reminded her and myself. “It can’t.”
“Does that…make you not want to be with him?”
Oh, Christ. I knew the answer. I responded honestly. “No, I need him, like…like I need air.” It felt good to be able to say it aloud.
She let out a relieved bark of laughter. “That bad, huh?” She flashed me a huge smile.
I smiled, and then I grew serious. I was going to share my greatest fear. “I don’t want him to forget me,” I whispered the words, “you know, over time…he might. You might.”
“Oh.” Solle looked away suddenly. Her face screwed up, and she blinked quickly several times. “Oh, honey.” She pulled me into her arms, hugging me close. “We won’t…can’t… None of us ever will.”
Forty-Four
Raider Black
I didn’t know what to do with all the information Theo had revealed last night. My wolf wanted to head to Ohio and not return until Uncle Doug had paid for his treachery.
Lore had stopped in my office earlier. “How is she?”
His concern for my female didn’t upset my wolf. He and the Seer had bonded in a way that I understood, Conal and I shared the same ties. He would protect her with his life and she trusted him completely. “She’s exhausted.”
“We are truly blessed. She may become stronger than the Lady Octavia.” He dropped his chin.
The new ability to retrieve memories would be a very helpful tool.
“Her gift is growing rapidly,” Lore murmured.
Our gazes met, and I knew it was a warning. “We will do everything to help her.” I would monitor her closely. If the time ever came that I felt her powers were a threat, that the Pack was in danger, I would terminate her as it was my duty. My Theo would never want to injure an innocent.
“I will do my part. You have my word, Laird.” He was loyal to Novus, but Theo was important to him. The wolf could be in Ohio tomorrow and he would kill the uncle without a thought, upon my order. In fact, he would rush if he knew what had been done to Theo.
However, giving the termination order might cause her more pain at this time. She had already been through so much. I had not promised to never kill the man, so I had time.
Two hours later, Conal stuck his head in my door. “I’m getting nothing done. I’m heading home.”
I dropped my tablet onto my desk. “Can I catch a ride?”
Our females were sitting on the sectional sofa in the basement, watching a TV show on the big screen. They looked relaxed and comfortable. Conal immediately went to his mate, sat down, drew her onto his lap, and kissed her.
Theo pushed to her feet and grasped her wrist. “Laird.”
I moved to her and pulled her into my arms. “You okay?”
“I’m fine. I’ve done nothing all day but rest.”
I let her go so I could study her eyes. “But you’re good?” I meant physically and emotionally.
She looked to the side instead of answering me immediately.
“Need to talk,” I told our friends and started to walk toward the steps, taking her with me.
“Okay.” She started to giggle. “Don’t be so pushy.”
We climbed the two flights to her room.
“Wouldn’t that be pulley?” I quipped. “Since I was pulling you along?” I dropped onto her bed and leaned back on my elbows.
“Quite the jokester today, I see.” She smiled and leaned against the dresser.
I noticed she hadn’t packed her things as I’d mentioned this morning. I wasn’t irritated. It might be fun trying to convince her, but I wanted to know the reason why. “I meant what I said this morning.”
She gripped her hands in front of her. “About that…”
“I want you with me, Theo.”
“I don’t know what that means.” Her blue eyes were huge as she whispered those words.
I held out my hand to her and she took it automatically. I pulled her down beside me. “It means that I want to go to sleep with you in my arms every night and wake to your body burrowed into mine every morning.”
“It’s too soon.” Her blue eyes were huge.
“Are you mine?” I felt a trickle of sweat run down my back. I was nervous about her answer.
“You know that I am.”
We both knew this was an important moment.
“Then be with me, Theodora,” I urged her by wrapping my arm around her waist.
“Raider, what if…she decides that she’s ready?”
I knew she was talking about my contracted mate. “You please me. I want you. I will have you,” I said, making sure she heard the certainty in my voice.
“And then what? Have you thought about that?”
“I will not be denied because of something that may not happen for centuries.” She started to reply, but I cut her off. “I have you now, Theo. I want you to be with me. I want this, us.” The admission was unplanned, but it was true. “I need you.” And then I said the word I’d never said as Laird. Not to a single soul. “Please?”
One beat, two, three, and then she smiled, tremulously. “Yes.”
My heart skipped then pounded inside my chest. “You’ll move in?”
“Yes, I’ll move in.”
“And…” I prompted. I wanted to hear her promise.
“I’ll be with you.”
“You please me, Theo.” I kissed her.
“I want to Raider, for as long as I can.”
I was happy for the first time in…forever. When I’d been given the charter for Novus, I’d felt a deep sense of satisfaction, but this was totally different. I felt light and hopeful. She’d made me that way, my beautiful Seer, my Theo. Mine.
* * *
The End for Now.
* * *
Feel Me-- Book 2 in the Novus Pack Series is in the works.
Playlist For See Me
Chapter 1 In the End by Linkin Park
Chapter 2 More Human Than Human by White Zombie
Chapter 3 Man in the Box by Alice in Chains
Chapter 4 Take Me to the River by The Talking Heads
Chapter 5 Paradise City by Gun ‘N Roses
Chapter 6 Smells Like Teen Spirit by Nirvana
Chapter 7 Voo Doo by Godsmack
Jesus Just Left Chicago by ZZ Top
Chapter 8 Rocky Mountain Way by Joe Walsh
Chapter 9 Seven Nation Army by The White Stripes
Chapter 10 Truly Madly Deeply by Savage Garden
Chapter 11 Black Sheep by Gin Wigmore
Chapter 12 Suit and Jacket by Judah & The Lion
Chapter 13 Here is Gone by The Goo Goo Dolls
Chapter 14 Burning House by Cam
Chapter 15 Tennessee Whiskey by Chris Stapleton
Cowboy by Kid Rock
Chapter 16 Set Fire to the Rain by Adele
Chapter 17 Bodies by Drowning Pool
Chapter 18 Impossible by Shontelle
Chapter 19 Whole Lotta Love by Led Zeppelin
Chapter 20 Only Happy When It Rains by Garbage
Chapter 21 Dust in the Wind by Kansas
Chapter 22 Madness by Muse
Chapter 23 Primetime by Janelle Monae
Chapter 24 Here Comes the Hotstepper by Ini Komoze
Chapter 25 Word Up by Cameo
Chapter 26 Battle Flag by Lo Fidelity Allstars
Closer by Nine Inch Nails
Chapter 27 Ride On by AC/DC
Chapter 28 Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day
Chapter 29 I hate u, I love u by gnash
Chapter 30 Big Empty by Stone Temple Pilots
Chapter 31 Stronger by Kanye West
Chapter 32 Sweet Jane by Cowboy Junkies
Chapter 33 Rolling in the Deep by the Glee Cast
Chapter 34 Pony by Ginuwine
Chapter 35 People are Strange by Echo and The Bunnymen
Chapter 36 Best of You by the Foo Fighters
Chapter 37 Have a Little Faith in Me by Jake Worthington
Chapter 38 I Go Through by O.A.R.
Chapter 39 Million Reasons by Lady Gaga
Chapter 40 I Know You Want Me by Pitbull
Chapter 41 Rise Up by Andra Day
Chapter 42 Hurt by Johnny Cash
Chapter 43 I Can’t Make You Love Me (Live) by Adele
Chapter 44 Stay With Me (The Voice Performance) by Maiya Sykes
About the Author
M. Jayne doesn’t know what she wants to be when and if she ever grows up. She’s worked retail, recorded hearings in a Federal Courtroom, worked behind the scenes with security at a casino and currently she is living her dream writing Romance.
She plots and plans from her farm in central Indiana that she shares with her husband and two mastiffs, Ginger and Duncan Keith. When she isn’t creating she can be found watching sports, searching for the perfect mascara and reading. She also loves questionable TV- Any Real Housewives, The Steve Wilkos Show and Live PD. Plus she is addicted to the TMZ app on her phone.
M. Jayne loves to meet readers. She attends many conferences and signings. Please take a moment and introduce yourself and tell her what you are reading.
M. Jayne, See Me
