Touch me, p.12
Touch Me, page 12
“Have you ever met one?”
I shook my head. “Not until you. I’ve never heard of any being found. I thought it was a fairytale.”
She looked away for a moment.
It occurred to me that it must be a terrible burden to be so alone. She was the only human held in high regard inside a Lycan Pack, the lover of the leader, and alone in her oneness. “I am honored to make your acquaintance.”
“Bayla,” she gave a small snort, “not you, too.”
I grinned briefly. “I will try to control myself.”
“See that you do.” She giggled.
She was different, lighter. After everything she’d been through, tonight, she appeared joyful. “So, you had pictured different scenarios, and then you learned that seeing your rapist was going to happen.”
“You know I was a wreck but trying to hold it together.” She rolled her expressive eyes. “Whenever anybody hinted at what they thought I should do, Black shut them down. He kept telling me that, whatever I did, it was my decision.”
“That put a great deal of responsibility on your shoulders.” Sometimes, when one is healing, being given unlimited choices was a burden. It overwhelmed.
“Now, it matters very much to me what Novus thinks. My actions reflect on Black, and it is important that I am seen as an asset.”
“Politics.” I found myself frowning.
“They suck, but I agreed to all of this when I agreed to be with him.”
“Did you have a choice?” My voice sounded a little rough.
One side of her mouth tipped upward, and her expression turned a little dreamy. “I didn’t want one.”
“Before The Lady’s intervention, did you have a plan?”
Theo’s eyebrows drew together as she considered her answer. “Lore, he told me that he knew I’d do the right thing.” She glanced at the camera. “His belief in me, how he’s stood by me through everything…that has been a gift.”
I felt like she was sending me a message. Did Lore discuss me with her?
“And then, I traveled to Her plane.”
“I don’t know what that means.” She could talk with our Goddess?
“Carrying her Mark gives me special gifts. I don’t think I can say more.”
“You chose to see your attacker.”
She nodded. “I needed to show myself, you know that little part that still gets scared, that he wasn’t a huge monster who could still get to me.”
I made a humming sound in agreement.
“But She wanted to confront him.” She ran the tip of her tongue over her lips. “She wanted to grind him into dust.”
I stilled as Theodora’s voice had gone rough with emotion.
She rested her palm on her chest. “So much anger, and the need, no the drive, to do violence… It was overwhelming.”
“You felt your body being overtaken?”
She nodded.
“And now?”
“She’s gone, but something’s different.”
I wasn’t sure what to make of that answer, so I said nothing.
“Lore said something that helped.”
My throat had gone dry. “Wha…what did he say?” I tried to recall if his name had ever been mentioned so often during one of our calls.
“He asked if I felt better, which I do, and then he told me it didn’t matter what happened to get me to this point. The important thing is that I feel lighter.”
“Perhaps the simpler answer is best.” I crossed my ankles under the throw. “You must know that I have no idea what to make of your belief that the Goddess was with you. I can’t dismiss your claim because of what you are, but I have no idea how that works.”
“I know.” She chewed on her bottom lip for a moment. “There is truly little information recorded. I can only say what has happened to me. What happened in the holding room…even on my best training day…I couldn’t have begun to do that kind of damage. I know that, but I’m not sorry that my body did it to him. He deserved to hurt, to feel fear and agony.” Her voice gained strength as she finished her thought, “And he had to be ended. A Lycan who believes that he is above the law is a danger to all beings.”
That was true.
“Bayla,” her tone was sharp, “if wolves feel that intensity of violence all the time but can control it to the point of being gentle…then they really are incredible.”
She was sending me a message. “Did he tell you?”
“I asked,” she said gently. “I’d had a vision earlier…before I went to Texas.”
I swallowed hard enough I felt the scratch deep in my throat. “Who else knows?” I needed to know.
“I told Black, and Issa has guessed, but I don’t believe that she has mentioned it.”
My heart started to pound. “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to do.”
This time her smile was full of kindness. “Well, don’t look to me for any answers. I’m fumbling along, too.”
I started to chuckle, and it felt good. She was to be tied to the Packleader, and he was in love with her. She was doing just fine.
“I’m here if you need anything,” Theo said.
“I’m not sure…” What was I doing? Their Queen was offering me friendship and kinship. “Thank you.” I dropped my gaze.
“Please, don’t,” Theo said, her voice quiet.
“All of this other… Can we keep it be separate from your therapy?”
“I won’t bring your relationship up, I promise,” she said, rushing her words.
“I need to think about this… I… The power dynamic has changed.” Why had I not considered this before?
“Bayla, the dynamic is always going to be there. You can’t forget what I’ve shared, and I can’t overlook that I’ve told you things that are deeply personal.”
“There are many points that I need to consider.”
“I think Black needs to be in on this conversation.” Abruptly, she got to her feet.
“He can’t order me…” I started to say, and then immediately realized by her expression of deep disappointment that I’d misspoken.
“That’s not how it works.” She frowned at me. “I mean, he could, and if you wore the Novus brand, you would have to obey, but that isn’t the way he generally does things.” She left the frame.
In less than a minute, the couple was once again seated on the sofa. He was watching Theodora out of the corner of his eye as if he knew she’d been upset.
“We’ve hit a snag,” she told him.
“What kind of problem?” he asked reasonably.
I cleared my throat. “I would be more comfortable if Lorenzo could join this conversation.” My voice was confident, but I was shocked at that because, on the inside, I was shaking. What was I doing?
Fifteen
Raider Black
Back 2 Good by Matchbox Twenty
I sensed that Theo was uneasy but not upset, and I saw no evidence that she had been crying. I took my seat on the sofa and was surprised to hear Bayla request Lore’s presence. Obviously, their talk had taken a different turn. I used my cell to text the guard.
While we waited for Lore’s arrival, I wrapped my arm around Theo, and she smiled up at me. She wasn’t displaying any signs that she was deeply troubled by what had happened yesterday. I was unsure if that was good or bad.
“I’m okay,” she whispered.
“Good.” I gave her a small squeeze.
The door opened, and Lore walked through, unhurried.
I motioned for him to sit on the other side of Theo. “Bayla, can you see us, or do I need to reposition the laptop?”
“You all are in the frame.”
“Let us begin.” I settled back into my place beside Theo, and I liked that her body was against mine. “Dr. Joseph requested that you join us, Lore.”
I thought I detected a small smile on his face as he spoke to the laptop, “Good evening, Bayla.”
“Lorenzo.” She immediately looked down at her notes, and her cheeks pinkened slightly.
Theo took over. “Bayla knows that we know about you two. I told her that I figured it out and told Black.”
Lore nodded once.
“I think,” Theo paused and glanced up at me, “Bayla just realized that we are interconnected, and I fear that she might feel like she needs to stop working with me.”
Before I could respond, Lore took over. “That will not happen.”
I watched the doctor tilt her head minutely, and her eyes flashed. “You don’t get to decide.”
“Well, that didn’t go well.” I couldn’t help but grin a little. I crossed my foot over my knee and pretended to ignore Theo’s cautioning look. “Why don’t we restart?”
I waited until Bayla’s gaze returned to the screen. “Dr. Joseph, I am pleased to learn that you are the Intended Mate of one of Novus’s most valued members. Lore has worked tirelessly for our people. His devotion to Theo as her Personal Guard speaks much to his character. He is selfless and honorable.”
Theo’s hand moved to rest on my thigh.
Lore’s voice rumbled, “Thank you, Laird.”
“I’ve never heard of a Witch paired with a Lycan,” Bayla said, blinking.
I gave a slight shrug. “It is not my place to question The Lady’s plans. Novus welcomes you.”
“Thank you.” She dipped her chin.
“We owe you much for your work with Theo,” I continued.
“She worked very hard and had great support.”
“I would like to see you continue with Theo.”
“So would I,” Theo added.
Bayla sat straighter. “I have concerns.” Then she let out an audible sigh.
I thought about the tone I would use before speaking. “You are helping my mate.” I waited a beat. “That also puts you in an esteemed position with Novus.” I wanted her to understand that she, too, was honored and respected.
“That is true.” Lore was sitting very stiffly as if he was ready to react to a yet undefined threat.
“Learning about our world takes time.” I chose my words very carefully. “As the leader of Novus, I will not interfere, unless you request that I do so.”
Again, a blush spread across her cheeks.
“You are welcome on Novus Land.”
Her eyes widened. She understood that I was offering her acceptance in our world. “There is much to be discussed.”
“And with great care,” Lore cautioned.
“I can’t leave my life and disappear.” The very self-confident and cool doctor sounded upset.
“If it is necessary, I give you my assurance that you will be free to leave Novus Land.” That seemed to be an odd concern, but then I did not know Bayla very well, or her situation.
“Lorenzo can tell you about other…things,” she added quietly.
“Noted.” I did not have a good feeling about the unnamed “things.”
Theo leaned toward the screen. “I understand why you might have worries. When you mate with Lore, you will have to swear allegiance to Novus, so that makes Black your big boss. In a way, I’m kind of Lore’s boss, but to be honest, they both boss me around most of the time.” Theo shrugged as if she made the best of it. “My position with Novus is, well, it isn’t really defined.” She glanced up at me. “I don’t think of myself as having status or power, but I am protective of those I feel are mine.” She then glanced at Lore. “Being tied to him, I don’t think that will affect our sessions. I mean, Solle’s my medical doctor and my best friend. I trust you as I do her.”
“We have much to consider,” Lore said, “and now it seems there is more. I would suggest that nothing changes until there is a need to act.”
I was never one to not take advantage of good timing. “I think that is sound advice. Doctor, what do you say?”
“I can agree to that.” Bayla did not look pleased. She’d been told that she was now tied to Novus, would remain as Theo’s therapist, and was a member of our family.
“Very good.” I thought it wise to end the call.
* * *
I shut the door to our rooms behind us and followed Theo into our bedroom.
She pulled her sweater over her head. “That wasn’t too weird, was it?”
“For him, no, for her, I would guess, yes.” I stepped forward to assist with her undressing.
After unhooking her bra, I palmed her breasts.
“He’s being very patient.”
“Bayla seems to be a force. Perhaps, he is deciding his best approach.” I played with her nipples, pulling the hard points while she unfastened her jeans.
“I imagine when he was doing his spy stuff, he had to study his subjects, but he’s been alone for so long…” She pushed her jeans down her legs then kicked them off.
“I don’t want to talk about them right now.” I kissed her.
Her hands were busy pulling up my shirt. “I know it isn’t really my business.”
I gripped the collar, pulled it over my head, and dropped it to the floor. “I know you are concerned, as am I for many reasons.”
“Should I try to talk to him about it more?”
“You know this male better than anyone, so that is a question only you can answer.”
She unbuttoned and began to unzip my jeans.
I took over because she was doing it slowly to tease me.
“I’m sorry.” Her eyes seemed to be an even deeper blue tonight.
Confused by this turn, I lost my jeans, and the second my arms were around her, I asked. “For what?”
“For underestimating how much you care.” Her hands stroked my arms. “You’ve told me a hundred times that the concern never goes away for your people. Even Conal told me…but I never really realized how much it matters. It is always there, in the back of your mind, in your heart.” She touched my chest. “I never really understood until now.”
“Theo,” I pulled her in tight, “you’ve always cared about our people.”
Her arms circled around me. “I want to do a good job, and I’m not sure if I am. Would you tell me if I misstepped?”
“You do a good job.” I gripped the back of her head and tilted her face upward to kiss her. “And I would.” Because it could mean her death. She was protected, but some did not respect our rules.
“You’ve given me so much. A home, friends, family, your love. I hope that you feel I’ve done the same.”
I didn’t have the words. How could I tell her that she was my entire world? I kissed her again. This time I teased her mouth with my tongue as I used my hold on her head to reposition her so that I could have more access.
Her nails dug into my shoulders, and I could smell her arousal.
“Lose the panties,” I said, my voice rumbling.
“Make me,” she said against my lips.
I could feel her smile, and it got wider when I gripped the silk and tore it free of her body.
She let out a shriek of a giggle as I lifted her into my arms and tossed her onto the bed.
I covered her legs with my lower body, leaving her with the impression that she was trapped. My mouth closed on her nipple.
She anchored her hands in my hair and sighed my name.
I didn’t spend much time on her breasts; I wanted to move lower. Using my hands to push myself down her body, I trailed my mouth along the soft skin of her belly.
“Oh, God, yes,” she moaned and spread her legs wide.
“Open yourself to me.”
Her breathing was ragged as she immediately complied. She lifted her thighs into the air and used both hands to widen her outer lips.
In this moment, I felt all-powerful. My woman trusted me with her body and her heart. I placed a kiss above her pubic bone.
“Black…” Her body began to tense slightly with anticipation.
“Shhh.” I’d give her what she needed. I wanted to hold off until I couldn’t take the ache any longer. Mine. I dropped an open-mouthed kiss on her and then began to lick with long strokes. Teasing her, sometimes taking my time, and other times using short, quick strokes.
She released her hold on her lips, snaked her hand to her entrance, and inserted her finger.
My chuckle was low at her sneakiness. I watched as she finger-fucked herself. After a few strokes, I added my index finger, stretching her opening.
“Yes,” she sighed.
I closed my lips over her clit.
“Oh, God…Raid.” Her other hand gripped my shoulder.
“Enough.” I pulled her hand away and moved to position my cock at her entrance. I entered her with one thrusting action.
She was wet and ready for me. Her legs wrapped around my thighs.
Mine. My wolf rumbled deep in my belly. He did not need a formal ceremony to claim her as ours. He’d known from the first moment I’d held her in my arms.
I grasped her right thigh, lifted it from my leg, and pulled it higher, changing the angle.
Theo’s head turned from side to side, the tendons in her neck showing.
“Baby, come.”
“With…you,” she said through clenched lips.
“Theo, baby, now.” I added extra pressure as I ground against her.
She squeezed her eyes closed and raked her nails over the backs of my shoulders.
“Come,” I ordered as I went off.
Her body clamped down on me.
I didn’t collapse on top of her. I rolled to my side and held her close.
Her face was against my chest, and I could feel her breath against me on each exhale.
I combed her hair back from her face. “My beautiful girl.”
“I love you, Raid.” Her lips brushed my skin.
In only a few minutes, she was breathing deeply, and the arm that was wrapped around my waist went slack. I took time to study her. My mate, she’d overcome so much, worked so hard, and accepted her life with us. To think that we’d almost lost her a year ago as she’d battled the demons in her head, and now we were learning to move forward in our new normal. Novus members had taken classes to learn more about PTSD. Solle confided that several members had approached her about the experiences they had endured. Theo was impacting our people in ways she might never understand, but I could see.
