Zero expectations, p.9
Zero Expectations, page 9
Chapter 16
Haven~
I wasn’t sure what woke me up, but when I looked around, I saw Morgan sprawled out on the other side of the couch and Shiloh splayed over the recliner, and tomorrow was going to be a bitch filled with sore muscles. Neither woman looked comfortable, but I didn’t know if I could wake them long enough to get them into my bed. While I only had a queen-size bed in my room, I had no problem falling back asleep on the couch. I was used to it.
I could also feel the faint signs of a hangover already taking up residence in the back of my head. Reaching for my phone on the coffee table, I saw that it was past two in the morning, and there was no way that I should be up right now. I’d only been passed out for a couple of hours, so being up right now felt pretty blasphemous.
At any rate, since I was up, it couldn’t hurt to toss back a couple of aspirins to get a head start on my painful morning. It might work, it might not, but I was a hopeful sort of personality, so off to the kitchen I went to grab a glass of water. Though the aspirin was in the bathroom, if I tried to dunk my head under the sink for some water, I might very well come up dizzy or drown myself, and I didn’t need that kind of drama at two in the damn morning.
As I padded my way into the kitchen, I thought about earlier tonight and everything that the girls had said about my situation with Roman. After we had dispelled all the negative energies that my stupid boss had contaminated me with, the night had fallen into a predictable flow of catching up about our families, complaining about work, talking about the latest salon gossip, and men. Like any typical girls’ night out, the conversation always found itself with a men’s category, Morgan kicking it off by telling us all about the hot cop.
Now, while Morgan wasn’t high maintenance, she was picky when it came to the guys she dated. While she had no problem with casual dating or your typical one-night stand, when it came to wanting something serious with someone, she was very picky. Morgan didn’t want to waste her time investing in someone that wasn’t worthy of her love and loyalty. When Morgan loved, she loved hard, and she wasn’t one to give her heart away easily.
Shiloh, on the other hand, was what people might call a serial dater, though she really wasn’t. She just loved meeting new people, so if someone asked her out, she usually accepted. More often than not, Shiloh’s dates ended with her making a new friend, rather than finding a new love interest. People wanted Shiloh to become their friend because her positive energy was just so contagious. She also wasn’t in a hurry to find Mr. Right because she didn’t feel like her life was missing anything right now.
When we’d gotten to the topic of me and Roman, I had admitted to having feelings for him, and I had also thanked them for shutting the door in his face earlier, saving me from making a fool out of myself. They’d been right when they’d said that I needed to talk to Roman when I wasn’t emotional. While his rejection was going to suck no matter what, it’d suck less if I wasn’t in the middle of an emotional meltdown. Besides, I could wait until I was off my period before talking to him. I mean, it wasn’t like he was going anywhere, right? At least, that’s what I figured after him bringing up the whole monogamy thing. He’d made it clear that we weren’t to see other people, so I had time before ruining things between us. Plus, now that I was staring my truth in the face, a few days would help me figure out how I wanted to approach the subject. I just hoped that he wouldn’t stop the twins from coming over to play with the puppies. Even if my friendship with his kids was superficial, I really enjoyed the twins. They were so sweet and talkative.
Finally making it into the kitchen, I opened one of the cupboards, then pulled out a glass. When I turned to head towards the bathroom, a beam of headlights caught my eye, and when I looked out the window, I saw a truck pulling into Roman’s driveway.
Fully awake, my first instinct was to panic at the activity so late at night. A family emergency immediately came to mind, but once I got a better look, it was clear that I was way off base.
Standing at my sink, I saw a slim brunette climb out of the truck on the driver’s side, and when she walked over to open the passenger side door, that’s when I saw the logo and noticed that it was Roman’s work truck that she’d been driving. My heart felt like it was in my throat when I saw Roman get out of the truck, wrap his arm around her, then make their way to his front door. They looked familiar and comfortable with each other, and all I could think about was the twins. We screwed on my lunch hour because he supposedly always had the twins with him, but it was clear that he didn’t have them with him now. It was that, or else this woman was welcomed around his kids.
Stuck where I was, I watched as she unlocked Roman’s front door with ease. Stuck where I was, I watched as they both walked into his house together, the door shutting on whatever I’d begun to feel for Roman Scott.
Closing my eyes, I’d never felt such relief at how Morgan and Shiloh really had saved me earlier. I would have made the biggest fool out of myself had they not been rude to Roman, and now I was so glad that I had introduced him as my neighbor only. I was so glad that I hadn’t uttered a word about my feelings for him. I was so glad that I hadn’t done something that I couldn’t take back.
As I turned away from the window, I knew that I had no right to be feeling anything about Roman inviting another woman into his home. I was the one that had agreed to sex only. I was the one that had convinced him and myself that sex only was a great solution to not wanting to have to pick up after a lazy man. I was the one that had insisted that I wouldn’t develop any feelings for him. Roman had even asked me if I was sure before sliding into me that first time, and I had spouted off some nonsense about being my own woman and making my own decisions.
“Why do you look like you’re hungover already?”
I looked up to see Morgan coming into the kitchen. “What?”
“You look like your head hurts already,” she remarked.
My brows furrowed. “What are you doing awake?”
“I had to pee,” she answered. “Plus, if I don’t crash on your bed, tomorrow’s going to be a bigger bitch than it’s already going to be.”
“We need to move Shiloh,” I said absently.
Morgan nodded. “If nothing else, we need to reposition her. That recliner is going to give her one hell of a kink if we don’t move her.”
“Yeah,” I muttered, wishing that I could fall back asleep, but knowing that I probably couldn’t.
“Hey? What’s wrong?” she asked as she walked further into the kitchen.
“I just saw Roman getting home from…well, from wherever,” I told her, figuring there was no sense in putting it off.
“I thought you said that he always has his kids with them? Did something happen?”
I nodded. “That’s what he told me,” I replied. “He also wasn’t alone.”
Morgan’s head reared back. “Meaning?”
“He was with a woman, and I watched them go into his house together,” I explained, wanting to deny how bothered I was.
“Does he have a sister?” she asked carefully.
I shook my head. “Honestly, I have no idea,” I admitted. “Not wanting to…we really haven’t had any personal conversations between us. It really has been just sex and nothing more.” I wrapped my arms around my waist, the useless glass still in my hands. “I have no idea if he has a sister, or a cousin, or a best friend, or even some ex that he’s still friendly with. I know nothing, Morgan.”
“Are you okay?”
“I need to be, right?” I replied. “Roman has been completely honest about our arrangement, so this is on me.”
Morgan’s brows furrowed in thought. “But…didn’t you say that he had insisted on exclusivity? I was under the impression that exclusivity meant no other people.”
“Yeah, but…I mean, he did…but…”
“But what?”
“That doesn’t mean he can’t change his mind,” I stated lamely. “I mean, realistically, sooner or later, we’re going to want to meet someone for something more than just sex, right?” I shrugged. “Maybe he met someone that he clicked with. Maybe it hadn’t been planned.”
“Honestly, I don’t care about all that,” she said. “I only care how you’re feeling. I only care if you’re okay, Haven.”
“I will be,” I promised. “Granted, I’ve never broken my own heart before, but I’ll be fine.”
“Is your heart broken?” she asked carefully.
“I think it is,” I admitted.
“Awe, goddamn it, Haven,” she swore right before wrapping her arms around me. “Love is such bullshit.”
In spite of it all, that got a laugh out of me. “It really is,” I agreed, hugging her back.
Two hours later, I was still awake, still trying to figure out my next move.
Chapter 17
Roman~
It was four in the afternoon, and I deserved the hangover that was barely going away. Mom and Dad had also shown no mercy when they had returned the kids this morning. It’d been their way of avenging Phoebe for having to babysit Lucius, Alec, and I last night.
After dropping the kids off with Mom and Dad, Lucius and Alec had been adamant about getting lucky, annoyed with their dry spells. So, with Mom in my ear about being respectful, safe, and responsible, we had called up Phoebe to ask if she’d be our designated driver. Luckily, her husband, Derek, was used to us being assholes. However, Phoebe had been so happy to find out that I was letting the twins stay with my parents that she had readily agreed, so that I could ‘finally go live my life’.
Nevertheless, I hadn’t done much living last night. While Alec and Lucius had been having the time of their lives, making new friends and enjoying the scenery, my mind had been on the twins and Haven.
Like a pussy, my feelings had been hurt because Zach and Zoey had sounded so excited about spending the night with my parents. Their merciless five-year-old hearts hadn’t cared that I’d be all alone in the house without them. They hadn’t cared that some gold-digging stripper might try to get her claws into me and bring me to ruins. Every time that I’d gone outside to call and check on them, they’d been having the time of their lives. Their bedtime was the only thing that had put a stop to my annoying calls, and talk about pathetic.
There’d also been the issue of Haven Oslind, though she had no idea that she was an issue yet. While women had been doing their best to grab my attention last night, when I wasn’t moping about the twins out living their best lives, I’d been moping about Haven and how I still didn’t know why she’d been crying earlier. I’d found myself still pissed off that she had introduced me as her neighbor and nothing more. I’d also found myself not interested in anything that was happening at Calliope’s. It’d been a huge waste of time, though not for Alec or Lucius.
So, as my mood had gotten worse, the drunker I’d gotten. I’d gotten so drunk that Phoebe had ended up driving me home from her house. Once Phoebe had agreed to be our sober driver, we had all driven to her house, leaving our trucks, and from there, Derek had dropped us off at Calliope’s.
Now, while I could have slept it off at their house last night, I had wanted to be home for whenever my parents had dropped off the twins. So, acting like a world-class asshole, I had insisted on going home, forcing Phoebe to drive me while Derek stayed home with their kids. When my parents had dropped off the kids, they’d been kind enough to take Phoebe back home.
As for Alec and Lucius, I’d gotten a text from each of them earlier this afternoon, letting me know that they were both alive and very satisfied today. Yeah, the assholes had probably fucked all night, sweating out the alcohol, giving them a hangover-free Sunday.
Christ.
“Daddy, can we go see Nic and Tin?” I looked down to see Zach peering up at me. “It’s been a lot of days.”
I rubbed the top of his head. “Let me see if Haven’s home, okay?”
Zach nodded but didn’t go anywhere. He just kept staring up at me, waiting for me to get to it. I could totally see the kid not putting up with a lot of bullshit later on in his life. Zach was not going to be an ‘excuses’ person.
Pulling out my phone, I texted Haven.
Me: R u busy? Zach wants 2 know if he can go c Nic & Tin
Her reply came almost immediately.
My Fruitcake: Not really. They can come over
Looking back down at my son, I said, “Go get your sister. Haven said that we can go over.” Though that wasn’t technically true, I was inviting myself. Up until now, the kids had gone across the street on their own, me watching from our own front yard, making sure that the line in the sand stayed there. However, since I was choosing to no longer be stupid, I was going to join my kids in crashing Haven’s Sunday afternoon because she and I needed to talk.
As soon as Zach had Zoey in tow, we walked out of the house, making our way to an already waiting Haven. She had Nicodemus and Justin on their leashes, the puppies still not trained to stay in the front yard and not wander off.
Crossing the street, I could see the surprise on Haven’s face that I was joining them, but she was just going to have to get over it. Last night had opened my eyes to a lot of shit that I was no longer going to take for granted. I wanted more with Haven, and she was just going to have to deal with it.
Not letting me ruin their routine, as soon as we got to Haven’s front yard, she handed off the leashes to the kids, then went to sit on the stoop of her front steps. Without inviting me to, I sat down next to her as she watched my children play with her puppies.
“Thanks for letting them come over all the time like this,” I said, trying to break the awkward ice.
“They’re always welcomed over here to play with Nic and Tin,” she replied graciously.
“What about me?” I asked, turning to look at her.
“What about you?” she asked back, still watching the kids.
“Am I always welcomed over here?” While it could just be me because I was feeling nervous about ruining things between us, I was sensing something off about Haven’s vibe.
“Monday through Friday during lunch hour,” she answered like she was reciting cue cards or something, and I hated how her automatic response was to mention our arrangement.
I looked back towards my kids. “You know, Zach and Zoey finally spent the night at my parents’ house last night for the first time ever.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
Ouch.
I internally winced at the cold reminder that we didn’t have personal conversations. We didn’t talk about our family, work, friends, hobbies, etc. We didn’t talk unless it was dirty and demanding. Pride was a motherfucker, and it was hard to broach a touchy subject when the other person was making their position on the situation absolutely clear.
“I was thinking that we might be able to do something this weekend if the kids are willing to stay at my parents’ house again,” I said, putting it all out there. “I have no doubt that my parents would love to have them stay again.”
When I felt Haven’s eyes on me, I turned to look at her. “So, you want to make a night of it?” she asked. “Finally fuck for longer than an hour?”
I deserved that.
“I was thinking dinner and a couple of beers or something,” I said, correcting her.
Haven turned back to look at the kids. “I’m thinking that’s against the rules,” she replied evenly.
“We’re the ones that made the rules,” I reminded her. “Can’t see why we can’t be the ones to change them.”
“Well, since they’ve already been changed, I guess now is as good a time as any to mention that I have a date this weekend, so no need to leave the twins with your parents on my account.”
I could feel my blood pressure sky rocketing.
“What?” I asked, doing my best not to cause a scene in front of my children.
Haven looked over at me, her hazel eyes not flinching a bit. “I have a date this weekend,” she repeated. “However, unlike you, if he ends up in my bed, I’ll let you know.”
“What in the fuck does that mean?” I bit out, hating how she might actually let some other guy into her bedroom when I was still limited to the living room and kitchen.
“I was awake last night when I saw you and your date make it back to your place,” she stated, and I was going to kill Alec and Lucius for their stupid strip club plans. Yeah, I was the stupid ass that had agreed to go, but still.
“That wasn’t a date-”
Haven laughed and it didn’t sound joyful at all. “Of course, she wasn’t,” she snorted. “You don’t date. You make arrangements with women where you do nothing but screw.”
Now I was getting pissed.
“And you make those same arrangements with guys that you do nothing but fuck,” I flung back. “Last that I checked, you opened your front door to me willingly.”
She cocked her head at me. “I supposed I did.”
I let out a deep breath, trying to diffuse the situation. “I can explain about last night-”
“No need,” she said flippantly. “It’s not like we were falling in love or anything.”
Chapter 18
Haven~
Keeping up this nonchalant attitude was harder than I’d imagined that it’d be. When Roman had walked over with the twins, I’d been surprised. However, after my initial surprise had worn off, my first thought was that he’d been coming over here to break things off with me. I sure as hell hadn’t been expecting him to invite me to dinner.
Ducking the curveball, I’d been disgusted that he would suggest something more personal after having spent the night with another woman, so the lie about having a date this weekend had flown out of my mouth effortlessly. I hadn’t wanted to look pathetic on top of already feeling like a fool.
“She’s Lucius’ sister,” Roman bit out, ignoring my remark about love.
