Hart to heart, p.7
Hart to Heart, page 7
“Well, what do you think so far?” Ruth asked when we finally made it to her office and sat down.
“So far he’s happy, which is great,” Addison said. “I know the treatment isn’t going to be fun, but I love that no one is trying to make him be all serious about the situation.”
Ruth smiled. “That’s a really common misconception. People automatically assume the oncology ward in a children’s hospital is a sad place. And there is a lot of sadness at certain times. But these are still children. And naturally, children are joyful, positive creatures. I hope you’ll be pleasantly surprised by how much laughter you’ll hear.”
Addison smiled up at me. “I hope so too.”
“Okay, so, Addison,” Ruth said, getting back to business. “I want to go over the press release with Jason and Adam, so if you don’t mind working on the admission paperwork, we can get you guys back to your son as soon as possible.”
“That’s fine,” Addison said, picking up a pen and turning her focus to the stack of papers now in her hand.
“I have a tentative press release typed up, Jason,” Ruth said. “But I wanted to run it by you and Adam first and talk about when we want to release it.”
I looked over at Adam. “You wanna do the honors? See how close it is to what we talked about the other day.”
“Sure,” Adam said, reaching for the paper Ruth was handing him. It took him less than a minute to read through it and assess it. “It looks a lot like what we wrote up on our end, Jay. Just that Jax has ALL. His prognosis looks good, and we have a great medical team working with him. Please pray for a full recovery, etcetera. Looks good to me.”
“So this works for you, then, Jason?” Ruth clarified with me.
“If Adam says it’s fine, it’s fine,” I answered. “He’s been doing this so long for me that I’m fine with you discussing things like press releases with him.”
Ruth nodded. “Good. That’ll make it easier on everyone. So when do you want this released?”
Addison looked up from her paperwork. “Is it possible to wait until the rumors start circulating? Eventually someone is going to talk about Jason coming in and out every day. But maybe we’ll get lucky and it’ll be a few days.”
“I’m okay with that if you guys are,” I said to Adam and Ruth. They both nodded.
“I’ll keep tabs on everything and let you know when I start hearing things, Jay, so you won’t be blindsided. Then I’ll let you know, Ruth, and we can release them at the same time,” Adam said, going right into manager mode.
“That’s perfect,” she agreed. “And if I start getting phone calls from the press before then, I’ll give you a call, Adam, and we can discuss a game plan.”
Once we worked out the logistics and Addison finished the paperwork, we trekked back down the hall to Jaxon’s room. A hall I’m sure we would become very familiar with over the coming weeks.
“Mom! Jason!” Jaxon said excitedly as Bri tried to take his blood pressure. “Can I go to camp this year? There’s this really cool camp and only kids who have cancer are allowed to go and they ride horses and swim and stay in cabins and do campouts! Can I go? Please?”
I chuckled. “What are you talking about Jax?” I asked as I sat down in one of the chairs by his bed. Addison went to the bags and started unpacking into the dresser up against the wall. She always liked to feel settled when we stayed somewhere besides home.
“What’s it called again?” he asked Bri, who was logging something on a laptop. Probably his blood pressure results.
She smiled at Jaxon before looking at me. “It’s called Camp HopesALot,” she said while wrapping up the blood pressure cuff and securing it to the stand. “It’s a pediatric oncology camp about forty-five minutes North of here, and it’s a blast. I volunteer there every summer.”
“See?” Jaxon said. “It’s a real thing and even Bri gets to go! Can I go? Please?”
I looked at Addison, who just smiled at me and rolled her eyes. Lately we’d been tag teaming on his exuberant ideas, so I was on my own.
“Tell ya what,” I said, stretching my legs out. “Let’s get through chemo, see how you’re doing when next summer comes, and if all looks well, we’ll look into it and see how to get you involved. Will that work?”
“Yes!” Jaxon exclaimed, throwing his fist in the air. Apparently he still hadn’t figured out that “maybe” didn’t mean “yes.”
Bri just smiled as she started toward the door. “I’ll leave you guys to settle in. If you need anything, just call the number on the white board right there. It’ll get you directly to me. I’ll come check on you soon, Jax.”
“Don’t forget the squirt guns!” he yelled after her.
“Well, looks like we’ve got some time to kill, buddy,” I said. “What do you want to do?”
He thought for a minute. “Minecraft.”
I just shook my head. The boy had a one-track mind sometimes.
I handed my keys to the valet as I stepped on the curb in front of the hospital a few days later. It was nice not having to walk through the parking lot—kept me more incognito. My time at the hospital was limited, so I didn’t want to have to stop for autographs and pictures. I didn’t want to be rude either, though.
“Jason Hart.” I heard the familiar voice behind me as I walked through the doors, holding on to my hat as I walked through the doors so the blast of the air conditioner wouldn’t blow it off.
I stopped and turned around, a look of annoyance on my face. “April,” I replied. “What can I do for you.”
It wasn’t a question as much as a challenge. April Gill from Channel 5 News had been a thorn in my side for years. She was notorious for digging up private information and spewing it all over the local news and Internet. I had hoped that once I got married, she would lay off me, but no such luck, I guess.
“Oh, I just wanted to make sure everything was alright,” she said, feigning concern. “Word on the street is you’ve been here a lot over the past few days.”
“Uh huh,” I deadpanned. “And that’s a story because….?”
“I didn’t say I was after a story,” she said with mock offense. “I was just making sure everything was alright with your new family and all.”
“Thanks,” I said, turning from her and pressing the up button on the elevator. “I appreciate your concern, but everything is just fine.” I knew she was going to find out the truth eventually, but I wasn’t going to confirm anything to her.
“Tell that new wife of yours I said hello,” April said with a smile as the doors to the elevator opened and I stepped on. I ignored her and headed straight to the back wall to let others on as well. I waited until the door closed and April was out of my sight before asking to have the button to floor three pushed. I knew it wouldn’t throw her off the trail, but it might slow her down a bit.
When I got off the elevator, I pulled out my phone and headed straight to the small family restroom on my right and shut the door.
I quickly dialed Adam’s number and waited for him to pick up, still jarred from my run-in with April.
“Hey, man! How’s it going?” I could hear him crunching in my ear. I swear he was always eating when I called.
“It’s time, dude.” I knew he would know exactly what I was talking about. “I ran into April Gill outside the hospital, and she’s sniffing for a story.”
“Oh, shit.”
“Yep.” I nodded even though he couldn’t see me. “I know we were hoping to wait a few more days before we went public, but at this point I’d rather make sure everyone else gets the story before she does.”
“Hell yeah!” he said in agreement. “So do you want me to send the press release to all the stations except Channel 5? I can send them out now and wait to send hers until all the 5:00 newscasts have started.”
I chuckled. I knew it probably wasn’t right to purposely try and screw over a reporter for doing her job, but it wasn’t the job that bothered me. It was how she went about it and how many times she had intentionally tried to screw over my family and my friends. I just didn’t have any more patience for it this time around.
“That sounds great, man. Make sure Judy and Ruth are on board with what the plan is before they get bombarded with phone calls. And that security is ready to go.”
“I’m on it.”
“Thanks. Let me know if you need anything from us.”
“Will do,” he said, sounding like he was taking a gulp of his drink. “Go take care of your kid. You leave in just a few days.”
We hung up as I headed out the door and down the hall.
Today was Jaxon’s first day of chemo, and while I wanted to be there for it, I was late because of work responsibilities. One day in and we already had to shuffle things around.
I knocked on Jaxon’s door and stuck my head in. “Hey buddy, how’s it going?”
I walked in and leaned over the recliner, giving Addison a kiss.
“Gross,” Jaxon said, barely looking up from his video game. “Why do you have to kiss all the time?”
“To show your mom I love her,” I said, sitting down in the empty chair next to his bed.
“Can’t you just shake hands or something?”
I chuckled. “Sorry, dude. That’s not the way it works. Just close your eyes next time.”
He grunted and went back to ignoring us and building some tree house or hotel or something. Who knows? No matter how many times I played it, I would never understand that game.
“How’s it really going?” I asked Addison, reaching out to hold her hand and play with her fingers.
“So far, so good,” she said with a shrug. “He’s only been on the meds for about an hour. But I’m hopeful so far.”
I looked over at Jax and saw that the port-a-cath wasn’t being used yet. “Are they using the IV this time?”
“I guess so,” she said. “I didn’t really ask why he needed the port if they weren’t going to use it today. But I’m sure they’ll explain it all later.”
“Gotcha.” We sat, watching Jaxon play for a few minutes. I didn’t realize how boring it could be when someone gets chemo. There’s not a lot of action to it. You just…sit there. If I had realized this was what it would be like, I’d have brought a playbook to study. I’d have to remember that for next time.
“So I ran into April Gill downstairs.”
Addison grimaced at the name. “I don’t know what it is about us that is so fascinating to her, but I wish she’d stop fishing for stories all the time.” She shifted in her seat, giving me her undivided attention. “What did she say?”
I shrugged. “The usual crap. Fed me a bunch of bullshit about being concerned as to why I’ve been here over the last couple of days.”
“Wait,” she said, holding her hand up for me to stop. “She knows you’ve been here for a couple days?”
“Yep.” I nodded slowly. “I guess I wasn’t doing as good of a job staying anonymous as I thought.”
Addison groaned. “I was really hoping for a few more days of quiet before the crazy began.”
“I know,” I said sympathetically. “I went ahead and gave Adam the go-ahead to send the press release to everyone except Channel 5.”
Addison’s jaw dropped. “You did not!” She giggled. “You’re so bad!”
“What?” I asked, smiling at her. “They’ll get it at 5:01 pm. After everyone else has already scooped them on the story.”
Addison’s shoulders shook with laughter. “I’d like to say that was rude, but she so deserves it.”
I waggled my eyebrows up and down. “That’s the point.”
“Hey Mom,” Jaxon said, pausing his game. I looked over at him and realized his face was looking pale all of a sudden, and he was leaning back on his pillows like he couldn’t hold himself up anymore. “I don’t feel so good.”
As Addison jumped up, Jaxon leaned over and puked all over my lap.
“Incoming call from…Lindsay,” my hands-free device said as I drove home to change. It had never occurred to me that I would need to bring extra clothes when I was at the hospital. And none of the scrubs Bri offered me fit. Lengthwise they were okay, but I couldn’t fit my thighs in the leg holes. So here I was, driving home in puked-on shorts so I could change before heading back.
I pressed the button to pick up the call.
“Hey Lindsay,” I said as I changed lanes on the highway.
“What. The. Fudge,” she said slowly.
“Haha! Mommy, you said a bad word!” I heard Emma yelling in the background and giggling up a storm.
“I said fudge, Honey,” Lindsay responded in her mother voice. “Fudge isn’t a bad word. It’s a dessert.”
“What the fudge, what the fudge,” Emma started yelling.
I chuckled as I listened to Lindsay try to get her to be quiet. Finally, she had Emma calm and started talking to me again.
“Sorry about that,” she said calmly.
“I don’t ever want you to complain that I’m a bad influence again, Lindsay. Clearly it is all your doing,” I joked.
“Uh huh. I don’t want to talk about that, Jason. I am really mad at you.”
“What? Why? What did I do?”
“Why am I finding out from the radio that Jaxon has cancer!”
“Uggghhh,” I groaned. “I am so sorry, Lindsay. It completely slipped my mind to call you.”
“But you could call the local media?”
“I’m sorry. That was the press release that Adam and the hospital issued today. We weren’t going to say anything yet, but April Gill was sniffing around, so we went ahead and let the other stations scoop her.”
“Ew. That woman makes my skin crawl.” No one in my inner circle was a fan of April’s. “I’m not done being mad at you, but I need to know what’s really happening. Not just what some press release says.”
I spent the next couple of minutes catching her up to speed, telling her everything the doctor had said about the diagnosis and treatment and answering all her questions.
“So today was his first day of chemo?” she finally asked.
“Yep.”
“How’s it going so far?”
“Well, it was going fine for a while. And then he got sick and puked all over me.”
She roared with laughter. “That’s what you get for not telling me! It’s called ‘karma.’”
“Oh, I will never forget again,” I said, laughing with her. “Not after this.”
“Do you guys need anything at this point?” she asked when she stopped laughing, getting back to the conversation.
“I don’t think so,” I said, trying to think if there was anything that could be done yet. “You may need to call my mom and ask her. I’m sure she’s got a spreadsheet and meal plans ready to go for when I head to training camp later this week.”
“Oh god, I forgot about training camp. So you are gonna be gone for a month.”
“Pretty much. They’ll let me fly home on my off days to check in and give Addison a break. But yeah. It’s gonna be rough.”
“I’ll call your mom then and make sure she puts me on all her call lists.”
“Okay.”
“And don’t worry about picking up the school paperwork next month. I’ll pick everything up that you guys need to fill out and help Addison with it while you’re gone so we can get the tutoring process started if we need it.”
“You already know about that?” I asked, surprised she didn’t have to research anything or call her boss to find out what to do.
“Sadly, Jaxon isn’t the first kiddo I’ve worked with to have chemo.” She sighed.
“Yeah? How’s the other kid doing now?” I asked out of curiosity.
She was silent for a moment. “He fought for about two years. But, um…he didn’t make it, in the end.”
I paused, stunned at her words.
“Jason,” she said. “Stop. He was never as strong and active as Jaxon. I don’t for one second expect the same outcome. It wasn’t even the same kind of cancer. He had a very aggressive form of non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. So whatever is happening in your brain, just stop.”
I nodded. Then I realized she couldn’t see me. “Yeah. I hear ya. Hey, listen, I’m pulling up to my driveway now, so I need to let you go, okay?”
“Okay,” she said, sounding sad. “Seriously, Jason. Call me if you need me. I’m right here, and I can take Addison anything she needs when you’re gone.”
“Thanks, Lin. I appreciate it,” I said before disconnecting the call.
My mood was completely different now. Sure, it was fun to pull one over on April Gill. And it was fine to joke about Jaxon puking on me.
But the reality of the situation had just hit me again.
And the truth was, it wasn’t a fun reality. No matter how many good moments you could find in the middle of it.
A couple days after his treatment started, I would have gladly gotten my ass kicked at Minecraft if it meant Jaxon would stop throwing up.
His chemo was brutal. Everyone was working on finding a different drug to put him on that wouldn’t have such bad side effects, but weren’t having much luck so far. Apparently finding a cancer medicine that doesn’t have nausea as a side effect was damn near impossible. And for some reason, the anti-nausea meds weren’t helping.
When he wasn’t throwing up, Jaxon was just lying in bed, sleeping or staring off into space. He had resorted to staring at Minecraft videos on YouTube instead of playing his favorite game. His lips were chapped, and he had dark circles under his eyes. His hair hadn’t started falling out yet, but I was terrified that whenever I ran my hand through it, I’d end up pulling it out. And we were only two days into the actual treatment! Dr. Bates assured us that it was normal for some children to react more strongly than others, but that with the exception of the obvious, nothing was wrong or unusual. Jax was just one of the unlucky ones.
For the most part, Addison was trying to take it all in stride, but I could tell it was wearing on her. She hadn’t left Jaxon’s bedside since we got here, not even to shower, so I finally kicked her out. Told her to go home, clean up, and take a nap. She swore she didn’t need it, but when our child life specialist, Elizabeth, got involved and reminded Addison that we had at least three and a half long weeks ahead of us, most of it with me out of town, she finally agreed to go. But only as long as I stayed with him. That was a no-brainer. Of course I was staying with him.
