Gift wrapped family fami.., p.19
Gift-Wrapped Family (Family Ties #3), page 19
part #3 of Family Ties Series
Driven by her attack, Caleb did away with the niceties.
“I can’t be around Mia when he’s there. I can’t stop the loathing and disgust I feel,” he admitted.
“So? When I see chocolate, I can’t stop wanting it. Does that mean I have to act on that feeling?” Marsha suddenly enveloped him in her arms and hugged tight. “I love you, Caleb,” she said in a broken voice. “You’re a good man who truly cares about helping people. You’ve achieved so much. But that sad little boy inside won’t let you be free. He’s keeping you from loving a woman who could enrich your life.”
“Mom—”
“Let go of the past, Caleb. Please, before it drags you so far down you’ll miss every wonderful thing God has for you.” Marsha kissed his cheek, gave him one last hug and then, after a searching look, walked toward her husband.
As they drove away, Caleb knew he would go to Mia’s party. He’d only been fooling himself that he could stay away from her.
For Mia’s sake he would hold his tongue and endure his father’s presence. But after the party he would seek Joel out and ask him to leave, as he’d promised. Maybe then Caleb could finally break free of his past.
*
Mia reveled in her teeming home, loving the sound of laughter as people mingled together. This was what she’d dreamed of when she’d first moved to Riverbend. But her dreams had grown and changed. Soon Lily would be her daughter in word and deed. But Caleb would never—
“Looks as if everyone’s enjoying themselves.” The object of Mia’s thoughts suddenly appeared in front of her. “You’ve done a great job with the decorations and the food.” Caleb held up a gingerbread man she and Lily had made. “I like the buttons best.”
“Most kids do like chocolate,” she teased.
“The tree looks stunning.” His eyes glowed soft and warm. “I don’t think all those stars came from the local store.”
“Actually Hilda and Joel made them.” She noted his wince at the mention of his father. “Excuse me. Some folks are leaving. I need to say goodbye, but please don’t go. I want to ask you a favor.”
Mia’s hostess duties kept her busy for a half hour. By the time she saw Caleb again, her guests were gone. Joel and Hilda were cleaning up the kitchen with Lily when Caleb found her staring into the glowing embers in the fireplace.
“I think it’s time for me to head out, also,” he said.
“I’m glad you came.” Mia couldn’t stop staring into his eyes, wishing for the impossible. “I wanted to ask if you could drop Lily off at the Pembertons’ in town. She’s going for a sleepover. Ashley has the measles and according to her mom needs serious diversion.”
“Which Lily can provide because she’s already had them.” He nodded and wrinkled his nose. “I remember that occasion vividly. She tested all of our patience.”
“That’s why the Pembertons want her to come distract Ashley. I’d take her, but I’m really scared to drive on these icy roads after dark, though everyone else around here seems to take it in stride.”
“We’re used to it.” He shrugged.
“Yes, well, maybe by next year I will be, too. Anyway, I hoped you could take Lily and save me disappointing her.” Mia grinned. “She’ll keep you entertained on the way. You know Lily. Always full of ideas.”
“Believe me, I know. Sure, I’ll drop her off.” He looked at her, stared really. Mia’s cheeks grew warm.
“Uncle Caleb, come get your goody bag,” Lily called from the doorway. “I made it for you.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.” Mia walked with him, watched as Caleb took the bag and peeked inside. “Chocolate-chip cookies. Thank you.”
“Welcome. Mia helped me. And Ms. Hilda. And Pops.” Lily giggled when Joel appeared and tickled her under the chin.
Mia’s heart broke as joy drained from Caleb’s face.
“Go get your coat, Lily. Uncle Caleb is going to drop you off at Ashley’s for the sleepover,” Mia said quietly.
“Goody. I already got my backpack in the closet.” Lily moved, stopped, then grinned. “You gotta kiss Mia, Uncle Caleb.”
“What? Why?” Caleb looked as if he found the prospect distasteful.
“’Cause you’re standing under the mistletoe. Me an’ Pops put it there.” Lily’s smile never wavered. Her eyes sparkled with mischief, moving from Caleb to Mia, apparently oblivious to the tension in the room. “Kiss her, Uncle Caleb.”
With no choice, Caleb bent his head and pressed his lips against Mia’s. Though it wasn’t the most romantic kiss they’d ever shared, the touch of his lips on hers brought back the hopes and dreams Mia had tried so hard to quash. She kissed him back, hoping he’d understand how much she loved him, how much she wished he would kiss her for the rest of his life.
But Caleb drew away.
“We need to get going.” His voice was hoarse. “Mia will help you to my car. I need to talk to Joel for a moment. Alone.”
The sharpness of that last word, the intensity in Caleb’s eyes and the way he glared at his father caused a rush of worry in Mia’s heart. Do you trust God? an inner voice asked.
“Come on, sweetheart. I’ll get my coat and help you buckle up in Uncle Caleb’s car.” Mia glanced worriedly from Joel to Caleb. “You won’t be long?”
“What I have to say won’t take long,” he promised grimly. “The car’s running, so it should be warm.”
Mia looked at Joel. He nodded his encouragement, so with no other choice, she grasped Lily’s hand and left.
*
“You said you’d leave if I asked you to. I’m asking.” Caleb kept his voice low so Hilda wouldn’t hear. “Leave. Now. Tonight.”
“Caleb, it’s almost Christmas,” Joel protested. “I’ve got a gift for Lily under the tree. I want to watch her open it. Just a few more days. Please?”
“You can’t even keep your word, can you?” Caleb retrieved his coat. “Leave this place tonight. If you don’t, I’ll make it so you’ll wish you’d never come to Buffalo Gap.”
To his surprise Joel didn’t argue. He simply stood there in his faded corduroy jeans and washed-out shirt, looking dignified yet old. Finally he nodded.
“If that’s what you want, I will leave. You’ll never hear from me again,” Joel promised. “But I’m not running out of here like a thief in the night. I am going to stay until Christmas. I owe that to Hilda and to Mia and to Lily. After that you’ll be rid of me.”
Caleb was about to argue when Hilda walked into the room. She glanced from him to Joel and frowned.
“Something wrong?” she asked.
“Yes,” Caleb snapped, unable to control his fury that his father had won this round. “He is what’s wrong. He’s a murderer, a liar and a thief. Watch out.”
Caleb stormed out of the house, said good-night to Mia, who backed away from his car and studied him with sadness. He climbed into the car, checking to be sure Lily was buckled in the backseat before he shoved the gearshift into Drive.
“What’s wrong, Uncle Caleb?” Lily asked.
“Everything.” He gunned the engine, then took off around the circular driveway, knowing he was going too fast but unable to stifle his building frustration.
Suddenly Lily said, “A deer!”
Caleb slammed on his brakes, putting the car into a spin on the icy road. He fought to right it and lost as his left front wheel slid off the road and sent the car rolling. Caleb’s head slammed into the steering wheel. As everything faded he had only one thought.
Lily!
Chapter Fifteen
“Caleb? Can you hear me?”
The voice was Mia’s, tender, oozing love. For him. Could she still love him after what he’d done?
“Lily?” he whispered, every muscle in his body protesting at the effort it took to say the word. But he had to know. Had he hurt her? Had his anger hurt sweet, precious Lily?
“Lily’s fine, Caleb. Do you hear me?” Mia touched his cheek, her finger as soft as velvet against his cheek. “Lily is fine. Her seat belt kept her in place. But you have a concussion.”
“Lily’s okay?” Why couldn’t he get his eyes open?
“She’s fine. Joel got her out first, then rescued you,” Mia explained. “I called 911, but they had to take their time because of the icy roads. Your car rolled and was leaking fuel. Joel thought it might ignite, so he pulled you out to safety.”
“Joel?” Though Caleb finally pried his eyes open and saw Mia with her cape of red-gold hair, smiling at him, he couldn’t make sense of what she was saying.
Joel had saved him? After Caleb had threatened him, ordered him to leave?
“I was so scared. You mean everything to me, Caleb. I love you so much.” Mia pressed her lips to his, not asking for anything. Just offering comfort. And love. But how could she love him when he was so full of anger and hate?
Everything in his head felt jumbled, disjointed. Caleb opened his eyes again and found peace in Mia. Sweet Mia, holding his hand, loving him.
“The doctors want to talk to you, Caleb. I have to take Lily home. Rest well. I love you.” She kissed his cheek, then disappeared. He wanted to go after her, but a hand pressed him down.
“You have a concussion, Caleb. You need to stay still for a while.”
Caleb lay awake long into the night as images from the crash replayed in his brain. One cold, hard fact stuck out. Because of his anger at Joel, he hadn’t been paying attention to his driving. He could easily have avoided the deer, had done it many times before. But with his mind clouded by anger, he’d nearly killed Lily.
What’s the difference between your anger and your father’s drinking, Caleb? his brain demanded. Both led to a loss of control. You are as guilty as your father. It’s only by God’s grace that Lily’s not badly hurt, or dead, like your mother.
The truth finally pierced through his anger and bitterness to shine on the truth. Wrong was wrong. God didn’t forgive by degree. He forgave. Period. Everyone made mistakes. Some were life changing, like his mother’s death, but no less forgivable by God.
At last Caleb understood. His anger wasn’t only toward his father, but also toward himself for not preventing his mother’s death. He’d shifted the guilt he felt onto his father. He closed his eyes and let the scene replay. Arguing. His mother stepping back, falling while his father reached out. Was it Joel’s fault?
Caleb didn’t know anymore. All he knew was that the hate had to be over. He had to ask God’s forgiveness, forgiveness willingly given for him and for his father.
Sun began to light the eastern sky while Caleb prayed for forgiveness. Cleansed and restored to his heavenly father, he finally drifted into sleep, his thoughts of Mia and the love she had. How could she still love him now that he’d endangered Lily?
*
“Father, You know this child far better than I do. I love him, but He’s Your son, too. Take away his pain and heal him with Your love. In Jesus’ name.”
Caleb lifted his eyelids and studied the father seated next to his bed.
“How can you pray that?”
Joel simply smiled.
“How can you love me after all I’ve said and done to you?”
“Love is all I have to give you, Caleb,” Joel said softly. “I’ve always loved you, since the day your mom put you in my arms. That will never change. I’ll always pray for God’s best for you.” He rose. “I’m leaving. Goodbye, son.”
“Wait!” Caleb struggled to sit up, wincing as his ribs protested. “I don’t want you to go.”
“I have to. I promised, and I keep my promises.” Joel’s steady gaze met his. “I’m sorry you can’t forgive me.”
“I don’t have the right to forgive you,” Caleb admitted. “It’s you who should forgive me.” The enormity of his actions replayed through his memory. “I could have killed Lily,” he whispered.
“By God’s grace you didn’t. Lily only remembers the car rolling and hanging upside down. She doesn’t have bad memories, except she’s concerned about you. And the deer.”
“By God’s grace.” Caleb mulled over the words. He had a father because of God’s grace. He had a woman who loved him because of God’s grace.
“Can you forgive me, Caleb?” Joel asked.
“I don’t know. I’ve hung on to it for so long that I’m not sure I’ll ever be completely free,” Caleb answered honestly. He saw Joel’s disappointment flare. “But I want to.”
“Let’s start over.” Joel thrust out his hand. “Joel Crane, sinner saved by God’s grace.”
“Caleb Grant,” he said, shaking his father’s hand. “Also known as Caleb Crane. Son of Joel and Theresa Crane.”
Tears filled his father’s eyes as he said, “I’m looking forward to getting to know you, son. It will take time, but with God all things are possible.”
“What?” Caleb asked, noting Joel’s hesitation.
“Mia loves you, son. I think you love her, too.” Joel frowned. “Love is the one thing that can heal you, but for it to do its work, you have to be vulnerable to it. There’s no sure thing with love. But to go without it because you’re afraid…that’s wrong.”
“I’m not sure I can love Mia as she ought to be loved,” Caleb admitted. “I don’t know anything about love.”
“Sure you do. You know you’d give your life for her and Lily. You know you want to be with her tomorrow and tomorrow after that.”
True, but was that enough for someone as precious as Mia?
“Mia needs you in her life as much as you need her. Lily needs both of you.” Joel shrugged. “Why don’t you just enjoy that and leave the rest to God?”
Two nurses bustled into the room and ordered Joel out before Caleb could answer, which was all right because he needed time to think things through. And to pray.
He longed to see Mia, to hold her in his arms and hear her say once more that she loved him.
*
“Mia, will you please put on your dress and fix your hair?” Abby begged with a hint of frustration in her voice.
“But why? What’s going on?” Mia knew Abby wouldn’t tell her, because she’d already asked a hundred times. Finally she gave in, took the bag with the gorgeous black dress upstairs and changed into it. Abby helped her pin up her hair.
“You look so pretty,” Lily told Mia when she returned downstairs. Her small arms hugged Mr. Fudge, the chocolate Lab puppy Mia had given her for Christmas. “Are you going to a party?”
“No.” Caleb stepped into the room from the kitchen. “We’re going to the ballet. The Nutcracker. It’s a New Year’s Eve tradition.”
Mia’s breath caught in her throat at the sight of him. He had a vivid navy bruise at the corner of his left eye, which only added to his handsome good looks. She hadn’t seen him since Christmas when he’d stopped by to drop off the puppy, then left after sharing Christmas dinner. How she’d missed him.
“Tradition?” she whispered, soaking in his presence as joy filled her soul.
“Isn’t it?” he asked, silver eyes aglow.
“Well, I usually go alone.” Her gaze locked with his.
“It’s probably time to change that part of the tradition, don’t you think?” He held out her coat. Mia slipped her arms into it, clamping down on the rush of love.
This was Caleb being nice. It didn’t mean anything, she told herself as Lily hugged them and Hilda and Joel promised to care for her.
“Go home, Abby. And thank you.” Mia hugged her friend, so glad she’d made the move to Riverbend. That, like much of her life now, was due to Caleb. Dear, sweet Caleb.
She took a moment in the frigid winter night to admire his new vehicle. “A truck? How come?”
“I needed a change.” He lifted her so she didn’t have to negotiate the high step.
Oddly Mia found it hard to talk to him on the ride into Calgary. She felt shy, as if she barely knew this man who’d suddenly begun having long talks with his estranged father.
Dinner at a posh restaurant was nice, but Mia barely tasted the food, too busy wondering if Caleb was going to tell her he couldn’t love her. She sat through the ballet on tenterhooks. Finally on the drive home, she asked, “Why did you do this?”
“You’ve been acting like a scared rabbit since we left. I guess this was a mistake.” He turned into a lookout that gave them a view of the entire city, its lights sparkling in the night. “I need to tell you something.”
Please, God?
“I love you.”
She couldn’t believe he’d said it or that he meant it. “What did you say?”
“I said I love you. I think I have for a long time. But I needed to be sure.” He studied her with his amazing eyes, his words quiet but assured above the purr of the truck motor. “I’ve searched God for the truth. I’ve talked to Pastor Don and to my father. I’m pretty sure what I feel is love. For you.”
“Oh.” Mia broke his stare to study her hands. Dared she believe? Dared she trust?
“Is that all you’re going to say?” he asked with a bark of laughter. “I’ve spent a week agonizing about this and all you say is ‘oh’? Mia, come on!” The plea in Caleb’s voice was her undoing.
“I love you, too,” she whispered.
“Thank You, God.” He leaned toward her and pressed his lips to hers, but the console came between them. Caleb grimaced. “Maybe it was a dumb idea to buy this truck,” he said, threading his fingers through her hair, which he’d loosened.
“Why did you buy it?” she whispered, leaning in to his touch.
“Because when we get married, you’ll need a truck on your ranch. And a bigger horse. I want to go riding with you, and those little ponies you have just don’t cut it.”
“You really are a cowboy at heart, lawyer Grant,” Mia said, and then she didn’t say anything for a while as Caleb kissed her. When he finally drew away, she asked the questions that plagued her. “When did you know you loved me?”
“I can’t give you the exact day or time,” he said. “You grew into my heart and became a part of me. Your grace, your beauty, the way you took on life and made sense of it— I admired you so much. Thanks to God’s mercy, admiration turned to love. I love you. I love the way you care for Lily with all your heart. I want to share that with you, to build a home where love joins us. Will you marry me, Mia?”
