Reckless, p.10
Reckless, page 10
Tori and I have been having fun this week. Hanging out after dinner while we watched baseball. When she smarted off about the game tonight, I simply reacted, tickling her. Wrestling her down to the couch. She was laughing, and God, it sounded so good. She felt amazing in my arms, and her bright smile made me crave more. Before I realized it, I found myself hovering over her.
I didn’t mean for it to turn sexual. Didn’t mean to check her out, but one second we were joking around and the next we weren’t.
When I pinned her arms above her head and she stretched out below me, my eyes wandered down her beautiful face, down her bare shoulders with those tiny tank top straps and the lacy bra beneath.
Those delicate pink bra straps short-circuited my brain, and I found myself studying the way the gauzy pattern led under her thin shirt. Until I realized I was staring at her chest.
The way her breath caught when she saw me checking out her gorgeous tits, taut and pointing sky-high through the sheer fabric, had me instantly hard. As I tightened my grip on her wrists, she let out that little moan, and I wanted to strip her bare to see if she was as stunning without her clothes as she was with them. But the way her eyes dilated when I pressed myself to her body, the way she nodded, slowly, almost to herself, like she wanted this as much as I did? Coulda made me come right then and there.
Speaking of coming. I adjust myself with a wince before I get up for a drink of water.
After I fill the glass, I turn off the faucet, but the sound of water continues. I look down at the sink, confused. But the sound is coming from Tori’s bathroom, which shares a wall with my master bathroom.
I stare at the tile, wishing I had knocked on her door earlier because Tori is taking a shower. She was awake, and I was in here when I should’ve been in there. At least to talk about what happened tonight.
I’m about to turn off the lights and go to bed when a soft moan makes me freeze.
It takes a second for me to get what’s happening. What I’m hearing.
Another muffled groan from the adjacent bathroom has me unbuttoning my jeans.
Fuck. That’s hot.
The idea of Tori getting off in there after we almost messed around has me hoping she’s thinking of me. Thinking about how we felt pressed together. Thinking about doing it again but with fewer clothes.
With one hand on the vanity, I close my eyes and release my cock, the heavy length springing forward into my waiting palm.
Images of Tori on the couch flash in my mind as I stroke my eager erection. Her lithe body spread out for me. Her sexy, round ass in those damn sleep shorts. That playful smirk she gives me when she’s teasing.
But more than anything—I really want to kiss her. To see if she tastes as sweet as I think she does.
With that thought in mind, I squeeze my base and give myself a long, slow tug before I pick up the pace.
I’d lick those plump lips first. Devour them. Make her moan before I work my way down her body. Before I spread those tan legs and hike them over my shoulders. Before I taste her slick heat.
It’s that image, of me leaning over her and delving into the most delicate part of her, that has me going off.
Gasping, trying to catch my breath, I realize I’m in over my head. Because if I’m misreading this thing with Tori, I’m in for a long summer.
17
Tori
Everyone loves Fridays, but today it reminds me that I’m headed to my sister’s tomorrow morning and won’t be back until Sunday night.
When I reach into the kitchen pantry, I pause to stare out the back window, to try to sneak a peek at Ethan, but there’s only that picturesque red barn and two whinnying horses trotting along the back field.
I don’t know how long I stand there, but when the front door opens, I snap back into action, slicing apples for the kids, who are coloring at the table.
“Morning!”
Logan strolls in looking awfully perky. He must’ve gotten laid last night. At least someone did.
“Hey. What’s up?” I try to muster some enthusiasm, but I’m exhausted from worrying about the conversation Ethan and I obviously need to have. I mean, I guess I need to talk to him. That sounds like the kind of thing my sister would do—be an adult and talk through things even though I want to hide under my bed and pretend nothing happened last night. Pretend that I didn’t rub one out the first chance I had while I thought about him.
Sighing, I rub my forehead. I have no idea when I became such a wallflower. A year ago I would’ve marched into the barn, kissed the hell out of that man, and saved all of my questions for after he shoved his hand down my shorts.
Maybe that was your problem, Tori. You ran head-first into lust without thinking.
Logan gives me one of those Carter smiles. “I know you must be tired after cooking all week. I have a surprise for my brother, so you don’t need to make anything this evening. I packed a few sandwiches for lunch, and I’m taking everyone to the Lone Star Station for dinner, you included. My treat.”
While I love going out to eat, I’m almost disappointed not to have something to cook this afternoon to keep me occupied.
Hmm. I know. I’ll bake some cookies.
“Sounds great. Want some coffee before you head to the barn?”
“No, I’m good, but thanks.”
“You think Ethan would like a cup?” I ask before I realize I shouldn’t. I’m so out of practice. I used to have nonchalant on lockdown after I hooked up with a guy, but I can’t find that happy place where I don’t care.
“We have a busy day, so I’m sure he would.”
Nodding, I grab a to-go mug and fix it the way Ethan likes it. When I hand it to his brother, Logan squishes me into a side hug. “You’re awesome, Tor. We love having you here. Don’t we, kids?”
Cody responds by trying to eat his crayon, which I replace with an apple slice, but Mila brushes her blonde hair out of her face and nods. “I love-a-dub-dub Tori!”
I smile and reach over to pull Mila’s hair into a ponytail so it’s out of her way.
Watching her buoyant reaction, seeing how easily she gives her whole heart to those around her, twists something inside of me.
It would be so easy to love this family.
A strange melancholy settles in my chest that makes me want to call my parents. It doesn’t escape me that I’ve been living with total strangers for two weeks, and my parents haven’t called me once. When Kat moved in with Brady to help him with baby Izzy, back when they first met, my dad called her practically every day. I try not to feel hurt. I know my parents care in their own way, but I wish they’d try to show it more.
By lunchtime, my stomach is knotted like fishing wire. I’m dying to see Ethan and gauge where he’s at. Because if he acts like nothing happened, like he doesn’t care, then I’m more than happy to follow suit.
Shut up. You know that would hurt your feelings, you little liar.
Twisting my hands, I debate what to say and hope I don’t flub this.
I’d hate for things to be awkward when I was starting to think working here this summer might work out. Especially since I’m getting the hang of things. I enjoy taking care of the kids and cooking for the family. This might not be my dream job, but I’m feeling like I’m actually good at this, and it’s been so damn long since I’ve felt useful or good at anything.
Plus, I can’t exactly slack off. Sure, I want to work hard and keep this job so I don’t have to explain to my sister that I’ve failed at something else, but I really and truly want to help Ethan and his family.
Today, though, I’m not doing a great job of achieving that goal. In fact, the whole afternoon I’m so distracted that I burn the first batch of oatmeal raisin cookies and have to toss them in the trash.
Eventually, I give up on following any kind of recipe since I’m feeling like a space cadet and end up playing with the kids. We’re building a fort in the living room when the guys finally come in from the barn. Ethan beelines it for his bedroom to shower, which is his typical routine, while Logan ducks into the kids’ bathroom to clean off.
With Logan’s surprise dinner tonight, I’m starting to worry I won’t get a chance to talk to Ethan alone before I head for my sister’s in the morning. Not if he and his brother hang out after dinner, like I heard Logan suggest.
I’m staring off in space when Mila crawls into my lap and wraps her arms around my neck.
“Hey, bugaboo.” I stroke her silky hair. Her sigh makes me frown, and I pull back to see worry etched all over her delicate face. “What’s wrong?”
Those big baby-blue eyes turn up to me. “How do you know somethin’s wrong?”
I rub the furrow in her brow. “Because of this. You get all crinkly here.” She doesn’t laugh the way I expect her to. Instead, she sighs again. “Want to tell me about it?”
She rests her head on my chest. “Momma’s supposed to come tomorrow. She said she’d take us to the zoo.”
“I bet you’re excited to see her, huh? The zoo sounds so fun!” Two weeks is a long time to go without seeing your mom at that age. Thinking back to the long stretches without seeing mine when I was a kid makes me want to squeeze the stuffing out of Mila.
But instead of agreeing, she shrugs. “What if she doesn’t come? What if she forgets again?”
Man, shoot me now. This poor kid. I’ve never met Allison, but how could she not adore Mila and Cody and move heaven and earth to see them?
“Oh, honey. Did she forget once?”
A sniffle escapes her as she nods. “A few times.”
The psycho part of me wants to punch that woman in the ovaries for making her kid feel like shit.
Nibbling my lip, I rush to think of something to explain Allison’s behavior. “Sometimes, when life gets crazy, people lose track of time. Like how I burned those cookies today when I forgot to set the timer. Or it’s possible she misremembered. Wrote down the wrong dates or got confused.” I hope to hell she didn’t deliberately blow off her kids.
Mila sniffles and looks up at me. “Yeah?”
“Totally. But that doesn’t mean your momma doesn’t want to see you and your brother. As I get older, I’m starting to understand that parents aren’t perfect. They try really hard. Like when you were trying to do that cartwheel the other day. Even though you didn’t quite nail it, you gave it your whole heart, right?”
Nodding, she sniffles again, but her eyes don’t look quite so downcast anymore.
“So we have to cut our parents some slack. Give them a break sometimes because everyone makes mistakes.”
“Okay.”
I run my hand gently across her back, wanting to soothe her. “But if you ever need to talk about this again, you can always talk to me or your daddy. He loves you so much, and I know your momma does too.”
She nods against me, and I kiss the top of her head.
Someone clears his throat, and I look up to see Ethan leaning in the doorway, his solemn expression telling me he heard the conversation I had with his daughter.
I stare at him while I whisper to Mila. “I think your daddy could use a hug. What do you think?”
Her head whips around, and a second later, she’s bounding into his arms. He’s so sweet with her, so tender and reassuring that the sight of him snuggling her close makes my breath catch.
I start to wonder, if he’s that gentle with his daughter, maybe he’s the type of man who could be gentle with my heart too.
* * *
The five of us head for Ethan’s enormous four-door truck. Logan yells “shotgun” and grabs the passenger seat, but Ethan smacks him with a baseball cap. “Where are your manners? You should let Tori sit up front.”
Logan nods and starts to get out.
“It’s okay,” I yell from the other side of the cab. “Really. I’ll sit between the kids. It’s easier for me to fit back here anyway.”
Once Cody is all buckled in, I’m debating how the hell I’m getting into this huge vehicle myself when a hand on my hip makes me turn. I’m finally face-to-face with Ethan after this crazy day where I’ve been making myself nuts debating what’s going on between us.
He gently pulls me away from the truck and half-closes the door behind me. “Just wanted to thank you for what you told Mila earlier.”
“No problem.”
There are so many things I want to say, but with his family waiting for us a foot away, now’s not really the time. Instead, I stare at his broad chest, at the tats that extend down both arms, and I shiver when I remember how it felt when he touched me.
I kick the ground between us, feeling too awkward to look him in the eyes. “You know, the Astros lost despite that grand slam.”
He hums in the back of his throat. “I have a feeling they’re not the only ones who lost out last night.” His rough palm slides up my arm. That sexy voice drops to a whisper. “Let’s talk later, okay? I think I need to apologize.”
That makes me pause.
Does he want to apologize for things that almost happened or for letting things get that far?
Does he want to apologize for not coming back out to the living room?
Or worse, am I all wrong about him finalizing his divorce and maybe he’s getting back together with Allison so he feels guilty for flirting?
The younger version of me would blurt out that this whole thing is fucking confusing me. That I know I shouldn’t be so wrapped up in whatever we’re doing, but I can’t help it. That this is the very reason why I shouldn’t do relationships.
But I can’t ask the questions burning my lips because the kids are within earshot, and it would be irresponsible to freak out in front of them.
Biting my tongue, I nod and tuck my hands into the back pockets of my jeans and hope I’m not headed for a repeat of last summer.
18
Ethan
The whole drive, all I can think is I must’ve said the wrong thing, because I meant to show Tori that I genuinely like her and want to spend time with her outside of whatever family things we do with my kids. Sure, I’m just finalizing my divorce, so I can’t get too serious, but we’re two consenting adults who have to spend a lot of time together. Why not enjoy that time and see what comes of it?
But the second those words were out of my mouth, that we needed to talk and I wanted to apologize, her shoulders got stiff. She gave me a curt nod and jumped in the truck, and once again, I realize I’m sorely out of practice with women.
I glance at my rearview mirror and catch her eyes briefly before they flit away, and she focuses her attention out the window.
Yeah, great job there, Ethan. You weirded her out.
The tires of my truck crunch the gravel in the parking lot when we pull up to the diner. Not sure what has Logan so excited to grab a bite here, since we frequent the Lone Star, but I’m grateful to give Tori a break from preparing dinner. That’s another thing bothering me. She’s working far more than I’m paying her to do. It’s odd that my first impression of her was that she might be a slacker because she’s been nothing but a damn hard worker.
The smell of country food, the kind slathered in gravy and served with a side of biscuits, makes my mouth water when we walk through the front door. It’s a busy night, but after greeting a few neighbors, we crowd around a table.
Tori situates Cody in a high chair at the end and smooths back his wavy tufts of blond hair before she sits next to him. Reaching into the diaper bag, she pulls out a toy truck for my son to play with, which he snatches up gleefully to make zoom-zoom noises. Cody’s sweet nature seems to relax her, as though her happiness somehow hinges on his.
It’s hard to ignore how easygoing she is with my kids. How readily they’ve taken to her. Even when they’re running around like monsters, she seems to take it in stride.
Nothing bothered me more than Allison’s perpetual irritation with our children. She acted like they were going out of their way to personally offend her with their rambunctiousness. Even after a weekend away at that spa in Austin, she never seemed relaxed around our family.
The darkness that always sweeps through me when I think of my wife hovers like a shadow in my peripheral vision, but I don’t want to go down that road tonight. I’ve spent too much time sick over the failure of my marriage. Sitting next to my daughter and watching her vibrant smile, hearing Cody’s wild laughter when Tori tickles him, makes me realize I have a lot to be grateful for.
That’s what the last two weeks have made me realize. Seeing my kids laugh like they mean it, seeing how carefree they’re becoming again—that’s my bullseye and that’s what I want to focus on. Moving forward, not living in the past.
After we get our drinks, Logan slaps a notepad on the table I hadn’t realized he’d brought, and with a flick of a finger, he slides it to me.
“Wanna finish telling you the plan for the weekend.” Logan turns to Tori. “You mind if we chat about the ranch? We need to talk through the logistics for those two new horses we’re boarding.”
Anxiety riddles its way through my shoulders as though Allison can sense we’re talking about work at the dinner table. Old habits die hard.
But Tori gives him a sweet smile. “I don’t mind at all. I’d like to hear what you guys do.”
Logan ticks off item after item, and I jot everything down before I forget. Shit’s easy to forget when you have two kids and a barn full of horses to look after.
“So they’re not all yours?” Tori asks, looking between me and Logan. “The horses, I mean.”
I open my mouth, but my brother is already explaining. “Eight are ours, and six are boarders, and we’re adding two more to the tally.”
Tori draws her finger through the condensation on her glass of iced tea. “This is going to sound crazy, but I like the smell of the barn. I don’t know if it’s the leather from the saddles, the bales of hay, or the horses themselves. It’s this great earthy scent. I can’t explain it.”
