Hold fast, p.6
Hold Fast, page 6
“There might be…I mean, we could get by without you if they were mornings.”
“It’s in the afternoon. And I do not like split shifts that much. Don’t worry about it, Val, seriously.”
Val let out a long breath. “Sorry. If I thought there was even a chance I could hire someone and let you go part time for a couple of months…”
“I know. But we can’t.”
“Anyway, how’s it going with the yoga guy? Isaiah?” Val came into the room and sat down in the second chair.
It took a full minute for Zack to realize that he was asking about the yoga series. He hoped he wasn’t actually blushing thinking that he’d been about to confess to his nominal boss—or at least coworker—that he was struggling with desire.
He’d had boyfriends, but what he felt for Isaiah was turning into a much bigger challenge to his impulses.
He cleared his throat. “I think it’s definitely worth trying. The first episode was really good. I mean, I didn’t actually watch the yoga part, but the beginning and end were professional, and the gym looks great.” Please don’t ask where we ended up deciding to shoot.
“Do you think it’s going to help? I mean, I hate to think about you putting in hours you aren’t getting paid for anyway, but if it’s not even going to bring money in, there’s not much point.”
It wasn’t the right time to go into Isaiah’s bigger plans (or Milo’s ideas), but Zack smiled as reassuringly as he could. “Let me handle it. This could be the thing that gets us back on an upswing again.”
“From your lips to God’s ears, Zack. I’m gonna hit the floor. Make sure you take an actual break at some point, okay?”
“Hey, I was taking a break! I was contemplating summer session.”
Val shot him a look. “For a business degree we both know you’re getting because you think it might show you how to fix the gym. I mean it. Take a walk around the block or something.”
“When’s the last time you saw daylight, Mr. Six Days A Week?”
“Do as I say, not as I do.” Val stood and made for the door. “I hope you’re right about the yoga series, Zack. Really. If there’s anything I can do to help, let me know.”
“I will.”
He resisted the urge to check his phone for the time. They were recording again tonight, and Zack had been in a slight state of non-intellectual arousal since he got out of bed.
All of his relationships had been rational. Beginning them had made sense. The sex had been adequate, if not always stellar. The sense of companionship, while it had always felt somewhat dissatisfying, had also been good enough.
He’d never been so damn preoccupied. Not since having teenage crushes on older boys and the occasional teacher. That tingle of anticipated synergy was entirely new, and he wasn’t sure it was warranted. He hardly knew Isaiah.
But god, he wanted to.
He forced himself to take a walk, as ordered. But the parking lot reminded him of Isaiah now, and that veiled promise to pursue him.
In his entire life, Zack had never wanted to be pursued. He’d always preferred an equal balance of pursuit split between two people.
Of course, nothing was stopping him from making this an equal balance of pursuit. And he was already breaking the rules…
That way was madness. He had to get it together. And he had to do that before Isaiah showed up to shoot a yoga video.
Except as Zack walked around the block, flicking a pen cap on and off in his pocket, he started imagining all the different ways he could bring this particular pursuit to Isaiah. He’d definitely gotten the impression that Isaiah was accustomed to chasing what he wanted. Well, he wasn’t the only one who could chase, and it was about time Zack made the point.
And in the end, how much difference did it make where they were? How arbitrary was it to insist they not be inside the gym when no one else was around to see them? Was he really worried Isaiah would think less of him for flirting in the office they had no business even being in, let alone using for a video series that would end up on the internet?
But it had never really been about what Isaiah thought.
Zack already considered his own actions foolhardy, risking his job for what had—despite what he’d told Val—a relatively low chance of doing much to make a dent in Crux’s financial problems. (Where was the ethical stance on making more money for Terence to hoard while doing absolutely nothing to help the gym? Then again, what other choice did they have?)
He stopped walking on the corner of Mooney and Alcatraz and stood for a long moment in the sun with his eyes closed.
You’re the most judgmental person you know. Maybe stop judging yourself for wanting to sleep with a hot guy you happen to be working with long enough to at least kiss him.
He didn’t have a notebook on him, but he added it to his mental to do list.
Kiss Isaiah.
Zack always felt more powerful when he had concrete, measurable goals.
Chapter Nine
The second recording session was marked by a few crucial differences from the first. The lighting set up when a lot faster because Isaiah knew exactly what he was doing. He’d been impressed by the warmth of the sound on the video, despite that huge glass wall, which was good, since he hadn’t been sure how he’d temporarily adjust for that. (Affix packing blankets to the ceiling somehow? Muffle some of the flat surfaces in the room? He was sincerely grateful he didn’t have to worry about it.)
Lighting: check. Sound: decent.
Oh, right, and of course there was Zack.
Who’d sat down this time on the creaky desk chair and immediately stood up again, shooting him an apologetic look. Then he’d sat exactly where he’d ended up last time: on the floor, back against the wall, where he could more or less directly watch Isaiah.
The attention would have been welcome and flirty last time. But tonight Zack’s vibe was different, hard to get a handle on. He was very…still. Very focused. Very intent.
Or maybe it was intense.
Isaiah gestured to the second mat he’d brought. “Do yoga with me for a few minutes. I need to warm up.”
“I’d rather not.”
“C’mon. It’ll be helpful. It’s harder than you’d think, teaching without students.” He rolled out the other mat in between his mat and the camera. “Plus you got a whole—” He motioned in Zack’s direction. “You have some kind of energy tonight, man. You’re making it hard to concentrate.”
“Oh really.” Flat tone. Unimpressed.
Isaiah walked over, grinning, then held out his hand. “A couple of forward bends. A few twists. Please, Zack.”
“Dammit. I shouldn’t have told you I liked it when you said my name.”
“Yeah, I’m definitely gonna exploit that.”
Zack brushed his hand aside and stood. “Fine. What do I do?”
“Stand on the mat at first. I’ll guide you.”
“Uh huh.”
Since they were in the gym, he kept it clean and straightforward. And he stayed on his own mat as he narrated the flow, the same as he would on video. Zack wasn’t making it up about yoga stressing him out; the dude was stiff, tentative, his movements conservative. He held his breath almost the entire time. In a real class, Isaiah would have been all over him, but it seemed like a spectacularly bad time to pounce on the guy when he was only on a mat because Isaiah insisted.
By the end of fifteen minutes, which was what he’d set his timer app for, Zack had barely loosened up at all. And the tightly coiled energy coming off him was actually stronger.
He retired back to his seat on the floor with obvious relief. “I told you. I’m terrible at yoga.”
“That was really helpful. Thanks.”
Zack snorted.
“It was. It’s mostly about getting used to hearing my voice, and finding the rhythm of the class without anyone else in it.” He continued stretching as he spoke, and if Zack had a hard time looking away, hey, Isaiah didn’t hear any complaints. “Like, when you’re teaching a group of actual people, you feed off their presence a little bit. It changes the way you talk, you know? So the trick when recording is to basically recreate that, but without the people. So it helped, pretending I was teaching you.”
“I see.” Brief pause. “I wasn’t trying very hard to be a good student.”
What had he said? He liked being good at things? Isaiah smiled. “It’s okay. I got what I needed. And I’ll try to get you on a mat again. Maybe at my place next time. I’ve been meaning to ask you if you wanted to stop by to see my recording set up.” So smooth.
Zack smiled, shaking his head. “You’re unrepentant.”
“Yep. Now hush, I’m trying to record a yoga video.”
“Did you just hush me?”
Isaiah pressed a finger to his grinning lips and pressed Record.
He’d decided to record and edit all the episodes before airing any of them. Which meant—among other things—that he could show off a little while Zack was watching and place this particular episode later in the series, filling in the easier sequences as he went.
Of course, crow really wasn’t a beginner pose. He talked his imaginary audience through alternative poses at various experience levels while he himself executed a flawless Bakasana.
You are so wrong right now. Using yoga to pick up a dude.
His better angel was drowned out by the chorus of devils on his shoulder, all of whom had suggestions on other poses he might test out with Zack.
He brought the flow to an end in Savasana, picturing the shot. He’d ended the others by coming back into a cross-legged position. After another moment he decided to do the same here, for the sake of uniformity, though he instructed his class to stay in corpse pose for as long as they could spare the time.
As he was finishing his final words, he happened to catch Zack’s eye, and nearly forgot his “Namaste.”
Zack looked hungry. Ravenous. He looked like a man lost in the desert looking right at an oasis.
Turn off the camera. Right now. Whatever happens next, turn off the damn camera.
He rose and clicked stop on the recording, resisting the urge to fidget with the settings. “So that’s basically how—”
“Hush,” Zack said.
Isaiah turned in time to see Zack stand.
“I decided my rule about the gym was arbitrary.”
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah. How many more episodes are you planning to shoot tonight?”
“One, probably.”
Zack glanced at his phone. “Okay. I’ll be back in about an hour. I need to get some work done.”
That is not why you just told me to hush. “Sounds good.” He watched Zack walk out, almost tempted to call him back.
But to say what? To demand what he meant, and how he planned to break his rule?
Also, damn, the man had totally thrown Isaiah off his game. He did a few more stretches to get his mental space back before hitting Record again, forcing his mind definitively away from Zack.
* * *
This time he was packing up his lights when Zack came quietly up the stairs. “I’m done! You can make noise.”
“Thanks. Need help with anything?”
“You could collapse the tripod if you wanted.” He placed the lights and the camera bag by the door before strapping his mats together.
“Should I…do something with this?”
“It’ll actually fit in that bag, though keep it in the outside compartment and away from the camera. Thanks.”
“Sure.”
Christ, they could be strangers. He watched Zack carefully fit the tripod into the bag and snap it shut. “Thank you.”
“Of course.” When Zack rose from the ground his skin was noticeably flushed. “Did you have a good recording session?”
“Yep. Did the job. And you? Get some good work done?”
One-shoulder shrug. “I meant to, but ended up sidetracked by LVCC’s summer course schedule. There’s a class I’d love, but can’t take.”
“Because of work?”
“Yes. The night classes are challenging to fit in at this point. But I happen to really enjoy this professor, so I always look to see what she’s teaching.”
Isaiah nodded. On balance he’d rather be discussing the suspension of Zack’s rules for flirtation, but he had a lot of sympathy for wishing more time existed for exploring all the interesting things in the world. “Could you talk to the professor, maybe see if you could do a scaled down version of the course for fewer credits? I’ve had some luck at LVCC proposing things like that.”
“Really? You just…I mean…but how can you take a course that doesn’t exist?”
He grinned. “You take it as an independent research project or something. I forget the actual terminology. Usually a lot more work, but you get to tailor it to your needs, so in my experience it’s a lot more relevant.”
“I never even thought about that. I’m not sure Professor Yang has any idea who I am. But maybe…it might be worth sending her an email…”
“Not much to lose.”
“Well, if I did that, I’d probably not take the required class I was trying to get out of the way, so there’s a trade-off. But still…I mean, it would make more sense for her to advise me on a similar thing while she’s already teaching the subject, right? Instead of waiting. And she’s never taught this before, or at least not in the last two years.”
“Right.” Isaiah leaned back against the door jamb. “I’m just watching you rationalize this now. You might as well add it to your notebook, Zack.”
“Oh, god, sorry. I’m sure you want to get out of here—”
“Nope. Try again.”
Zack glanced down. “I was feeling more bold earlier.”
“You can get bold back.”
“I’m not so sure about that.” Still, he took a step forward, until they were well within touching rang. “It doesn’t make sense to stand on ceremony. I’m not getting paid right now. And I could get fired for being in this office. So.”
“So.”
Zack let what sounded like all the air in his body out in one rush of breath. He sucked in another and looked up. “So I’m going to kiss you now.”
Thank fucking god. “Yes.” It seemed important to say the word, to confirm, consent, encourage.
And to wait, while Zack reached out with one hand, fingertips landing lightly on his jaw, leaning in for a kiss that was warm and somehow sweet, a firm press of lips in contrast to the butterfly flutter of those fingers.
“That was better than I’d imagined it,” Zack murmured.
“Yeah—”
Zack leaned in again, and his body followed. And oh yeah, yeah, that’s what Isaiah was waiting for all damn night. He gripped Zack’s hips and thrust against him as Zack deepened the kiss, both of them gasping into it.
The fingers on his jaw slid around to the back of his head and Isaiah opened to Zack’s lips and tongue, pulling him closer. It wasn’t a grapple for dominance, it was a union of intensity, a confluence of desire, and Isaiah abandoned himself to kissing Zack and enjoying every second.
His lips were tingling when Zack pulled away to look at him, a close scrutiny he had no idea how to match. “You still okay with breaking the rules?”
“Not breaking them. Changing them. No kissing when the gym’s open makes more sense than no kissing in the gym.”
“I agree.” He shifted forward, but Zack’s hand tensed on his neck. “What’s up?”
“We’re still working together.”
“We are.”
“My priority is the gym. More than it can possibly be…anything…any flirtation between you and me.”
“I’m in support of that priority. And for what it’s worth, I started this project because I wanted to save Milo’s favorite place in the world. That I happen to distinctly like you only motivates me more.”
Zack’s fingers relaxed. “I had to leave earlier because I liked watching you do yoga a little too much. It’s hard for me to conceive of people in your classes getting anywhere in their practice or whatever it’s called when you’re there in front of them doing all that—” A flip of his hand. “All that.”
“I was showing off for you.” Isaiah wanted to kiss the confused downturn off Zack’s lips.
“You were?”
“I don’t actually expect anyone watching these videos to be doing crow in their living room. Though that would be really cool.” He centered himself better on the door jamb and tugged Zack in. “You were radiating something earlier, but I think you reigned it in. For the record—and if you write this down, I’ll be happy to sign it—you can bring all your intensity, Zack. You won’t turn me off. If that’s something you worry about.”
“Not that. Not exactly. Just…” His eyes drifted again and Isaiah allowed himself the pleasure of watching Zack think. “I decided I wanted to kiss you, and it was like I’d turned on a fire hose. I couldn’t control it. And I didn’t want to maul you.”
“Oh man, yeah, you can feel free to maul me. In the future. That’s hot.”
Zack rolled his eyes. “It would have been hot if I tackled you to your mat and humped you like an animal?”
Isaiah moved like he was grabbing his yoga mats. “We could do that right now—”
“Stop it.” But Zack smiled. “Put a pin in it. The fantasy was very clear. I mean, if you—I assumed we’d—”
“Have sex, yeah. A lot, I hope.”
Another one of those long exhales. “Good. Not that I’ve been obsessed for most of the day about seeing you without your yoga pants on.”
Isaiah slid his fingers below the waist of Zack’s jeans. “We could go back to my place. Your place. I mean, I’m good to go right here, but if you associate this office with a dude you don’t even like, maybe it’d be better to go somewhere else.”
“I, um…I started this, I realize…but I…” Zack’s eyelashes brushed his cheeks as he looked down. “It’s really late. And I want this, but I don’t want to be foolish about it. I have work in the morning.” He swallowed. “So I think we should make plans for…next week…tomorrow…whenever…”
