Racing hearts, p.7
Racing Hearts, page 7
I decided on somewhere in between.
“It’s alright. We both seem okay dealing with each other, and he’s obviously nice enough to be around.”
She made a groaning sound before looking at me with a big grin. “I’m not here for the boring roommate stuff. Tell those things to Scout. Give me the good stuff. I meant, how is it living with a tall, hot, muscled tattooed man who is the sweetest thing in the world?”
“Oh. I mean, that part isn’t terrible.”
“Not terrible? Jax without a shirt on is more than not bad.”
I looked at her, not able to stop my laugh. “Aren’t you dating Fox?”
“Yeah, but I also have eyes. And Jax is basically my best friend. I have to help him out where I can.”
“What do you mean, help him out? How is pointing out how hot he is helping him out?”
“So you do agree that he is hot,” she said, laughing harder now.
“Okay, yes, I also have eyes and can see that he is good looking. Does that even matter? Nothing is going to happen.”
“Why not? He’s a good guy.”
“I don’t know that, and I really doubt I’m his type.”
“Beautiful and funny isn’t his type? Pretty sure that’s right up his alley.”
I looked at her, trying not to roll my eyes.
“Whatever you say,” she said, that sly smile back. “I guess we'll just have to see how it goes.”
Two hours later, I had a new phone that I was setting up as I watched professional racers move around a circle track with ease. It was intense, each lap making me look longer and longer at the track. Ash was looking something over with her friend Cole as they talked about the upcoming rally races.
“Speak of the devil,” Cole said as another guy walked up.
“Hey now, how am I the devil?”
“We all know you’re the worst of the worst, Raf.” Ash said with a smile that showed she didn’t mean it, but I took a small step away.
“Oh come on now, you’re scaring off the pretty girl.”
“Don’t even start,” she said to him before turning to me. “He’s a nice guy, but an endless flirt.”
He turned, giving me the first full look of his face. It was perfect, the hard jaw, piercing gray eyes, and smile that let me know he knew how to be charming. “Before you start listening to her lies, let me at least tell you my name. I’m Raf.” He reached out his hand, but I didn’t take it. He seemed nice enough, entirely relaxed and happy, but I was too skeptical of anyone right now. If Ash was fine with him here, though, I would be nice enough.
“Carly.”
“Pretty name for a pretty girl. Plus, it has my favorite thing right in it, car. Nice to meet you.”
I only stared. It wasn’t that I was horribly self conscious. My day-to-day life didn’t change because I was a little heavier. My hips and ass were a little thicker, and I knew I wasn’t a perfectly petite woman, but it really didn’t bother me.
Except for times like this.
I hated when I had eyes on me like this. Something about the undivided attention made me start worrying about every inch of my body until I wanted to hide. It was a big reason why I never got too far in the sex department. A guy's undivided attention on you was hard enough, but adding the layer of intimacy and him touching all those parts that you’re feeling insecure about was hell. How could I be okay when suddenly all those parts I was worried about became the main attraction?
“Sorry,” he said, wincing. “That might have been too corny of a joke. What are you up to today?”
“I came to hang out with Ash.”
“Oh yeah, has she had a chance to show you around?”
“I think I’ve seen enough, but I’m assuming you are going to offer to show me around yourself?”
He laughed. “I was actually. Not impressed?”
“Not quite,” I said, my response a little more rude than I meant it to be.
“Alright, give me another shot. Maybe I’m just flustered with a hot girl here. You don’t really come to expect them when day after day it’s a bunch of sweaty guys hanging out here. And Ash, of course. What are you doing? New phone?”
“Yeah, and I can’t get it to log me in,” I said, still trying to mess with the dumb login screen.
“I’m surprisingly good at technology. Want help?” I shrugged, handing it over.
He clicked through the phone, asking for my email and then smiling.
“All done. I better make a test call,” he said, hitting more buttons until his phone started ringing. “And look at that, it works. You can save that under Raf if you want.”
“You think you’re really smooth, don’t you?” I asked, trying not to smile as I took the phone back.
“Come on, that was pretty smooth, and I did actually set up the phone.”
“Fine, you get a few points for that.” I knew he was flirting with me, and I realized I might be flirting back. For the first time in a long time, it was actually fun. There were no expectations, it could just be sitting here flirting for a few minutes with no other strings attached.
I finally glanced down as a text came through.
“Did you seriously put your name in here as hot Raf?”
He flashed a smile that should have made my knees weak, but only made me want to put a stop to all of this. “Yep. You never know. What if you meet another Raf and have to be able to tell the names apart? Plus, the chances of him being better looking than me are slim to none.”
“Alright Raf, that’s enough. Come on Carly, we should get back before it gets any later.”
We said our goodbyes, and I gave Raf one more curious look over before heading with Ash back to the car.
“Shit,” she said. “Jax has called me like ten times. He doesn’t know you came with me, does he?”
“No, I never said anything. I don’t even have his number.”
“Shit,” she said again. “Come on.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I forgot to text him earlier, and now he’s freaking out that you are not at home.”
“Freaking out, why?”
“Because there’s crazy people after you and he doesn’t know where you are?”
“I don’t get it. He barely knows me, but acts like it’s his job to take care of me now.”
“Pretty sure Jax really thinks it’s his job. That’s just how he operates. How the entire group operates, actually. Like I said, you’re a part of that now.”
"Do you want to text him and let him know?" I asked, hopeful that I wouldn’t have to deal with whatever freak out he could be having about this.
"And take the wrath of Jax? No way. I'll leave that up to you."
My heart beat was suddenly out of control. "The wrath of Jax?"
"No. Oh no, babe. I was kidding. Wrong wording. There's no wrath with Jax. You might get a boa constrictor that can't stop hugging you, but that's about as far as his wrath goes. Don't look so scared!"
“Okay. Alright then,” I said, taking a steadying breath. “We aren’t far, anyway. I’ll just talk to him when we get there.”
I looked out the window at the setting sun. I didn’t know if I wanted to be included in this group. I had never wanted to be part of any group again, knowing that it can change to a toxic group in the blink of an eye.
We pulled in and I headed up with Ash, taking the next set of stairs up to Jax’s apartment as slow as I could.
The lights were on when I walked in, but Jax was nowhere to be seen. I almost yelled out for him, but Riot ran into Jax’s room as soon as I unclipped his harness and I went after him.
“Riot, no!” I hissed, peeking inside, worried he was either out or asleep.
By the time I made it in, Riot was draped over Jax’s knees as he sat on the bed, petting and hugging him. A book was set out next to him, but Jax moved fast to put it in the nightstand drawer before I got closer.
The fast way he hid it only made me more curious now.
“Sorry, I didn’t know he was going to bolt in here like that.”
“It’s fine. I missed him anyway.” He kissed his head and then stood facing me. I tried not to stare. He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, and the sight of his bare chest was leaving me breathless.
Tattoos covered his body, with small random tattoos across his stomach and arms, with one bigger one across his chest. There was so much of him, and I wanted to reach out and run my hands down each muscled inch. I stepped closer, finally seeing what that little word at the bottom of his neck was.
“Forever? Why that word?”
“I’m a bit of a romantic.”
“You got that tattooed for a girl?” I said, the horror in my tone not hidden.
He shook his head with a laugh. “No. I got it because I believe in forever. I didn’t have any girl in mind when I got it, besides hoping I would find it one day.”
“Wow, that is a very romantic thought. Borderline delusional to think that there's a forever with someone.”
“Delusional? No. Hopeful? Yes. But I see that you are very anti-romantic. Of course, you can have forever with someone. That’s not a made-up thing.”
“Right,” I said, breathless. There was so much of him, and each muscled inch made me want to reach out and run my fingers across that word before moving down the rest of him. He was close enough now that I could.
The thought surprised me.
Enough that I had to step back, and he noticed, pulling us both back to reality.
“Ash said you were with her at the track all day.”
“Yeah.”
“Obviously you’re not some prisoner here, but until I know you’re not in danger of being kidnapped, can you please update me if you leave?”
My brows furrowed. “Aren’t you going to get mad at me?”
“I am mad. I’m mad that I spent the last two hours worrying about where the fuck you were and no one thought to let me know that you weren’t taken by Slaughter today. Ash wasn’t picking up her phone, and no one knew that you went with her.”
“Sorry, I thought Ash let you know, and she thought that I let you know.”
He looked down at me, his eyes roaming over my face. “No one let me know. I thought you were taken, and I didn’t even know where to start looking. I was about five minutes from going to find Slaughter myself, but Kye advised me to calm down first.”
“Is that a joke? You can’t go looking for him even if he did take me!” My breath quickened, and I knew how wide my eyes were. “You barely even know me, definitely not enough to put yourself in that much danger.”
“So? I was going to come find you. I wouldn’t let him take you and get away with it.”
The panic that he was about to flip out only got worse as he reached out, making me duck from his hand.
“Whoa,” he said, jumping back. “I wasn’t going to hurt you.”
“Reflex, sorry. It’s not usually a good thing when someone is mad at you and reaches out like that.”
“No need to apologize. I wasn’t trying to freak you out. I’m also not mad at you. Not really.” He took a deep breath and smiled. “I’m going to do something now, and I need you to stay calm. I am not going to hurt you.”
I was ready for a fight, my body on edge as he stepped closer, invading my space as he wrapped his arms around me.
“You smell like lavender, and dirt from the track,” he said. “It’s an amazing combination.”
“What are you doing?”
“It’s called a hug. It’s where I hold on to you for a minute, and you,” he grabbed my arms, pulling them around his waist, “hold on to me. I’m glad you’re okay.”
I froze for a second before leaning in. He had obviously showered, his hair damp, and everything around me smelled like the clean mint soap he had in the bathroom.
“See, no knives, no needles, no pain.”
“Speak for yourself,” I said into his chest.
He pulled away. “Fine, grouch, hugs over.”
“Wait, no it’s not.” I pulled him back in, and he didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around me again. I couldn’t remember the last hug I had that I enjoyed. One that I wasn’t counting down the seconds before I could make it stop. They were always so uncomfortable, and if it wasn’t a quick hug to my mom, it was a hug with someone that smelled, or I didn’t like, or was really just trying to feel me up.
Slaughter’s friends were the worst.
This wasn’t like that, though. I took a deep breath, sinking further against him, until it felt like he was holding me up. He didn’t make any attempt to move away, but held on tighter, taking everything I needed to let go of.
In a split second, reality crashed. He was not here to take my burdens, to hold me when I was down, or to help me at all.
He was nothing more than a stranger to me and I was somehow standing in his bedroom, holding onto him as he hugged me. All while he didn’t have a shirt on, and for some reason that was making me like this even more. My thoughts wandered back to running my hands down him, the heat spreading across my face as I thought about touching all of him.
I pushed away again, trying to catch my breath.
“But really? Grouch? That better not stick,” I said.
“Depends on how grumpy you are.”
“I’m going to clean up and go to bed. And I better not hear that nickname anymore.”
“Sweet dreams…Grouch,” he said, as I slammed the door in his face.
EIGHT
CARLY
Another few days went by as I learned more and more about my roommate. I learned that he likes things clean, really clean, which surprised me considering his job included him getting so dirty. He was constantly joking and laughing about things, and I could barely figure out how to handle such a sunshine personality.
Even before coffee? Who was that happy before coffee?
Not that I didn’t like it. I just didn’t know what to do with it. I was used to being grumpy and everyone being grumpy back, but he seemed unfazed anytime I was that way with him, and I couldn’t understand why.
On top of it all, he kept helping me in the kitchen even when I said he didn’t have to, and trying to make me laugh the entire time.
My temporary roommate was an enigma to me, and I wasn’t even sure if I had enough time to begin to understand him.
I winced as the front door shut and that organization-obsessed roommate walked in. His mouth dropping open as he took in the state of the kitchen and living room.
“What. The. Fuck,” he mumbled.
“I did not realize what time it was. I thought I had more time to clean up,” I said, moving things around the covered countertops.
Not only was every surface of the kitchen covered in things I was using for cooking, but the living room was covered in my clothes. “I had been working to sort through those,” I said as he looked it over. “That’s when I realized I needed to get started on cooking, then needed to walk Riot, and I almost burnt some things I was prepping for dinner, so I came back in here and honestly forgot about the clothes.”
He picked up a corseted top that was hung over the back of the couch and his eyebrows jumped up.
“Well, seeing this makes me a little less annoyed. And what is this one?” He asked, holding up a bra that had straps crisscrossed to my neck. “Seems a little flimsy for a Rottweiler harness?”
I grabbed it out of his hand. “That’s for me, not the dog.”
A smile crept over his face, but I could tell he was trying to hide it.
“Oh, you have some real kinks then, huh?”
“Not kinks. I just have good taste.”
“I think that’s the same thing?” he asked, eyeing the leather in my hand.
“It’s clothes, Jax. I wear this.”
“In public?” he asked, stunned.
“Yes. In public.”
“Fuck,” he mumbled, still staring at it. “Did not realize your kinks included exhibitionism.”
“It’s clothing!”
“Right, right.”
I went over, shoving clothes down the couch into a pile. “Forget about that. I’m sorry. I’m sure you hate the mess, but I lose track of time once in a while. I also lose track of what I’m doing, but I’ll clean all of it up.”
He shook his head. “It’s fine. I don’t really understand how you forget an entire living room of clothes, but it’s fine. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
I nodded, assuming that was my cue to clean up and clean up fast, so I moved. I started throwing all of my clothes back into suitcases and then ran back towards the kitchen. I was still cooking, so I wouldn’t be able to clean it all, but at least he might not have a heart attack when he came back out.
“What are you doing now?” he said, his eyebrows shooting up as he returned, the living room almost empty again.
“Trying to clean up before you came back out?”
“Where did all the clothes go?”
“Back in my suitcases.”
He looked over and went for them, dragging the big one back into the bedroom with him.
“Come on. And grab that other bag.”
I didn’t move, not knowing what he was doing, and too afraid to find out.
“I know you're still standing there, and if you don’t get in here with that bag in the next ten seconds, I will start digging in these to find all the lace and leather things I saw laid out on the couch.”
I groaned, grabbing my bag and heading into the room. “I’m only coming in because I know this is a threat you would follow through with.”
When I walked in, he was reclined back on the bed with a smile.
“I did not think about the fact that you were living out of a suitcase. Sorry. The dresser is yours. I did keep the one drawer if you don’t mind, but I will see what I can do about making room in my closet, too, if you need it.”
“What? No way. I’m not taking over your space in here, too.”
“Why?”
“Because you’re already mad about me taking your space out there.”
“I am a little surprised at how…scattered you are, but you’re not taking the space. We are sharing it.”
