Dear daughter, p.2
Dear Daughter, page 2
Olivia watched with wide eyes as her grandmother recounted a part of her parents’ story she had never before heard. Her grandma turned off the stove burner and began dishing food onto two separate plates, placing them on the table as she continued the story.
“My boy was raised to be responsible for his actions so he proposed to your mother and they married at the courthouse before you were born. They wanted to marry at the church but because they were teenagers with a child out of wedlock, they were turned away at the door.”
“But, Grandma, why would the church do that?”
Her grandmother took a bite of steaming mashed potatoes and swallowed before continuing the story.
“Sometimes Christians are so obsessed with their reputations, personal agendas, and church politics that they forget what Christianity is all about: loving God and loving others. Christianity isn’t for perfect people; it’s for sinners. You don’t go to church when you’ve got your life straightened up. You go there to heal, to repent, and to be completed by a perfect God and His unconditional love.”
“Why didn’t you tell them that, Grandma?”
“I did, sweetheart. They just didn’t listen. Believe me, I did everything in my power to help your parents. Even when her parents moved away and failed to keep in touch, I was there for Renee and Ellis. After that, your mother stayed home to take care of you while your father went to school and got a job at the local factory to support his family.”
“So, that’s why Mom doesn’t want me. She didn’t want to get pregnant in the first place and be forced to give up her life to take care of me.”
“There are no mistakes, child. God created you for a reason just like He created your daddy and mama. Before He created the birds of the sky and the fish in the sea, He knew your story. From beginning to end.”
I miss her so much.
That evening when her grandmother dropped Olivia off at home, she told her son to get his wife and come out on the front porch. Ellis’s eyebrows raised. He knew a scolding was in his near future and flinched when he was sent to retrieve his wife.
“I will see you next weekend, Olivia. I love you, sweetheart. Now go inside and get ready for bed.”
“Yes, Grandma. I love you, too.”
As Olivia stood at the front door, Ellis held it open and waited for her and her mother to step over the threshold. Her mother seemed extremely irritated at the disruption, folding her arms over her chest when she came to a stop on the porch and glared down at her mother-in-law.
Twelve-year-old Olivia prepared for bed while her older version stayed behind to witness the conversation she had once been kept from hearing.
“Lose the attitude, Renee. I’m here to help. There’s something I need to say…”
“Don’t give me your holier-than-thou speech again, Vi. What do you want?
Her grandmother’s tone was short and unapologetic, “It’s not just what I want. It’s what that child needs.”
Olivia’s mother was not soft when it came to confrontation as she was usually the one starting the fight, “You’re not going to stand there and tell me what MY child needs.”
“She needs parents who don’t fight all day long and a mother who doesn’t chastise her every move. Renee, your bitter attitude is detrimental to this entire household: to your daughter, your husband, and yourself.”
“We are doing just fine. Thanks for stopping by.”
Renee smirked at her mother-in-law before turning and walking back inside, grabbing the wine glass she had set down just a moment ago. Once out of sight, Vi turned toward her son who had chosen to remain quiet during the entire argument.
“And what do you have to say for yourself, Ellis? Is this what you do in your home, too? Just stand there while she destroys everything in her path? I raised you better than that.”
“Mom, I don’t know what to do anymore. She’s out of control. No matter what I say or do, it’s wrong. I never wanted Olivia to live in a broken household…”
His voice was strained as he glanced back at his home toward the window of Olivia’s bedroom.
“I know growing up without your daddy was hard, Ellis…”
“He died in a car crash when I was three, Mom. He couldn’t help that. But I have the choice to keep my family together. And I’m trying…”
“I know, honey. You’ll never hear me advocate for divorce before counseling. Whatever you do, son, you need to get your house in order. Take care of my girl. I’ll pick her up next Sunday after church.”
Olivia’s father nodded as his mother patted him on the arm and walked back to her car, turning the engine over before pulling off in the direction of her home.
This is the conversation that made my parents go to marriage counseling. Too bad it only made things worse. My mom grew more resentful, claiming counseling was my dad’s way of blaming her.
This is only going to escalate even more. God, why can’t I just go back to my family? Why do I have to relive these moments? I just want to see Grey.
And with that, another memory was returned to the pitch-black abyss of her mind before the next began right on cue.
Chapter Three
“Thanks to you, I’m stuck in this tiny town where everyone knows my business. I wish I never met you, Ellis. You ruined my life.”
Olivia could hear her mother’s voice from her bedroom where she lay on her bed, a pillow pressed around her ears to soften the disruption outside her door.
She was fifteen now, too young to drive away from the fighting yet old enough to dream of doing so. It didn’t matter that it was Christmas Eve. Her mother couldn’t care less about the time or place of her newest fit of destruction.
Olivia’s father pleaded with his wife as he had done so many times before, “Renee, can we just enjoy the holiday without fighting? Please, for Olivia…”
“Haven’t I done enough for Olivia? I gave up my life for her! My body, my career, my happiness!”
Olivia could take their incessant bickering no more. Her feet touched the floor beside her bed before she even knew she was leaving. Throwing the door of her bedroom open, she hurriedly marched toward the back of the house.
Without a look back at her parents, Olivia grabbed her coat from the hook, stepped into her boots, and slipped out the back door. No shouting followed her as she crossed the snow-covered yard. Her parents must not have heard her departure over their argument. Even through her coat and jeans, Olivia could feel the chill of the winter evening creeping up her legs and arms.
Being a small town, Joliet only had one grocery store, elementary school, and high school. She had gone to class with the same students since kindergarten, stuck in the revolving cycle of drama and cliques each year. And her mom was right about one thing: everyone knew each other’s business.
When she was thirteen, Olivia’s dad had taken her shopping in the nearby city. Her mom hated the urban life, claiming skyscrapers and concrete made her feel confined. She had refused to go. But Olivia and her father loved it – or they loved how far they were from her oppressive mother.
There was a certain liveliness about the city. Whereas Joliet seemed asleep at night, the city was awake every hour of the day. While there were fewer pedestrians and cars later in the evening, neon lights and signs demanded your attention.
As Olivia continued her silent trek, nothing grabbed her attention as she walked down the snow-covered alley toward her grandmother’s church. Olivia knew she would find her grandma there at the Christmas Eve service. Vi attended every service at one of Joliet’s few churches, rain or shine.
Olivia’s chest tightened as she neared the entrance of the church. She knew her mother would disapprove of her stepping foot on any holy ground, especially the very same church that turned its back on her years ago.
But she didn’t care what her mom wanted. All Olivia wanted were parents who loved one another and didn’t fight every single day of her life. She would even take half-hearted tolerance at this point.
The corridors of the church were vacant of people, the doors to the sanctuary closed. Olivia’s body welcomed the warmth of the indoors. The walk in the frigid cold was enough to send chills down her spine.
Slowly and quietly, Olivia crossed the lobby toward the entrance of the chapel, cracking it open and peeking inside. She spotted her grandma near the middle of the room at the end of the pew.
The room was dark except for the soft, warm light provided by a candle in each person’s hand. Her grandmother’s mouth moved along with the words of the hymn filling the small auditorium.
Olivia hurriedly strode up the aisle and tapped her grandmother’s shoulder. Vi looked up in surprise at her granddaughter, checking her from head to toe before smiling in welcome.
She stepped aside to allow room for Olivia, gesturing for her to shed her coat. Once they were settled in the pew, Vi wrapped her arm around her granddaughter and handed her the small white candle. It had a paper disk near the bottom to protect from dripping wax.
This was the first time Olivia had been in a church. She had seen plenty of them on television but had never entered one in fear of repercussions from her mother. If there was one thing her mother didn’t need, it was ammunition for her next rant.
The hymn ended and the entire congregation seated themselves, blowing out their candles and turning their attention to the man on a brightly lit stage at the front of the room.
He was a tall, slender man with hair the color of flax. There was a certain charisma, a way about him that demanded your attention. He embodied compassion, kindness, and humor in a way Olivia had never before witnessed.
As she sat listening to his sermon, Olivia noticed several eyes darting in her direction, many of them older women who appeared as if they would drown if it rained too hard.
Yet, as Olivia observed her surroundings while also being careful not to spill hot wax on herself from the candle still in her hands, she noticed a boy around her age near the front of the room looking in her direction.
His hair and eyes appeared dark, the dimmed lights of the room softly illuminating both their warmth and friendliness. Olivia’s cheeks turned hot as he continued to observe her for a moment despite her having discovered him, his eyes eventually gravitating back to the pastor.
It was uncommon in a small town like Joliet to see someone new but then again, Olivia remembered her grandmother mentioning the new pastor and his family. That must be his son.
Turning her attention back to the pastor, his words finally resonated in her mind.
“Now, I know we are all tempted this time of year to get overwhelmed by gifts, food, and events. But we need to remember that we don’t celebrate earthly possessions we will someday leave behind; we celebrate Christ coming down to Earth to save us from our sins.
He came as an innocent, vulnerable infant… born in a barn, no less. Can you imagine the love He has for us? To leave the glories of Heaven to be born in a manger with filthy barnyard animals?
And that is the most beautiful reason for this joyful season: love. Each and every one of us are recipients of His love. No matter what you have done, where you have been, or how worthless others have made you feel, you have the unconditional, sacrificial love of Christ. There is no better way to end my sermon than with this message: you… are… loved. Recklessly, stubbornly, and completely loved.”
The church stood and sang one final song before the lights illuminated the entire room. Church members grabbed their coats and hugged their friends in farewell, some exchanging gifts wrapped in shiny paper.
Vi stood from the pew and looked down at Olivia who silently remained seated, the words of the sermon repeating in her mind. Something had ignited in her for the first time in her life. She didn’t know what it was but her curiosity prevented her from burying it fully in the back of her mind.
“I’m going to assume your mother doesn’t know you are at church with me?”
Olivia noticed the stern look on her grandmother’s face and hung her head, shrugging off the answer they both knew. When she looked up at her grandmother, prepared for reprimand, Vi had a hint of a smile on her lips.
“Well, I guess it doesn’t hurt for us to take our time then, does it? I want to introduce you to some of my friends here.”
Olivia met several of her grandmother’s friends, mostly older ladies like herself. They all cooed over the granddaughter they had heard so much about, nearly pinching the cheeks of the hesitant teenager.
Finally, they reached the front of the room near the stage when her grandmother came to a stop next to the pastor.
“Wonderful sermon, Pastor. I want you to meet my granddaughter, Olivia. Olivia, this is the new pastor I was telling you about. Pastor Liam James.”
The tall, handsome man offered his hand in greeting, a warm smile lighting up his deep blue eyes. In the corners of his eyes were crinkles brought on by years of smiling. His hand swallowed Olivia’s during their friendly exchange.
As he took a step back, he placed his hand on the shoulder of a woman with light brown hair and a petite frame. He must have stood at least a foot taller than her, his hand covering the majority of her shoulder.
“This is my wife, Diana. Diana, this is Vi’s granddaughter, Olivia.”
Diana turned to greet them; her small hand extended as her bright green eyes memorized their faces.
Her voice was warm and sincere when she spoke, “Vi, you told me she was beautiful but I am still blown away. It’s nice to finally meet you, Olivia. You are all your grandmother has talked about since we met her some weeks back.”
Olivia nodded politely at the pastor and his wife, glancing back at Vi’s glowing smile, “It’s nice to meet you as well.”
“And this is our son, Greyson. Grey, this is Olivia Larson, Vi’s granddaughter.”
Olivia turned her attention to the boy she had noticed staring at her earlier. In better light, he was much more handsome than she had originally thought.
Both his hair and eyes were lighter than the dim room had allowed her to see. His hair wasn’t nearly black but a warm chocolate brown. Yet, it was the color of his eyes that caught her off guard. Instead of dark brown as she had anticipated, they were a warm golden brown, melting into her as he studied her features in turn.
Oh, Grey. I miss you so much.
“It’s nice to meet you, Olivia.”
She nodded in reply, noticing her grandmother’s sly smile as she watched the two interact. Her sharp brown eyes twinkled as she winked at the pastor and his wife who chuckled at the elder woman’s suggestive gesture.
“I’ll be starting at your school in January as a sophomore.”
Olivia noticed that Grey’s voice was smooth and deep as he continued their conversation despite the adults stepping away from the group.
“I’m a sophomore, too.”
“Oh, so then I’ll probably see you in some of our classes. Cool.”
She couldn’t help but chuckle at Grey’s naivety about the tiny town of Joliet. He looked confused by her reaction, uncertain whether her intentions were friendly.
“Joliet is a small town. You will see me all the time. I think we have more cows than we do high school students.”
“Oh, well then… even better. Maybe you can show me around… school, not the cows.”
Grey looked down at his shuffling feet and laughed, teenage awkwardness in full swing. By the way the other girls their age were ogling him in the corner, he would have no trouble getting shown around campus. Just then, her grandmother tapped her shoulder and looked at her thin gold watch.
“Sorry to interrupt, sugar, but I think it’s time we get you home.”
“Yeah, I guess so. It was nice to meet you, Greyson. I’ll see you at school.”
As he returned the farewell, Olivia joined her grandmother and began walking toward the exit.
Even as the girls in the corner called over to him, Grey stood his ground and watched Olivia from across the room. His mother walked up beside him, already shorter than her teenage son.
“Did you like Vi’s granddaughter, honey?”
Grey smiled as Olivia disappeared into the foyer, his eyes snapping back to his mother with a wide grin.
“Very much.”
Chapter Four
“Do you have any idea how long we looked for you, Olivia? No, you don’t because you weren’t thinking! We wasted all that time driving around in the snow searching for you.”
Olivia’s mother was locked and loaded when her grandmother brought her back home.
Her father’s voice was much calmer than her mother’s but she could see the worry and stress he had endured in losing her, “We were worried about you, Liv. Why did you run away?”
Olivia nearly burned a hole in both of her parents as she glared from the dining table in their direction, “Why do you think I ran away? You guys can’t stop fighting… even on Christmas Eve.”
“While we are sorry about that, it is no excuse to run away, Olivia. Go to your room. You are grounded for a week.”
Ellis looked at his daughter with a seriousness she knew not to challenge. Her mother was still pacing the kitchen, sporadically glowering toward Vi every other step.
“Fine. I don’t want to be with either of you anyway. Bye, Grandma. Thanks for the ride. I’ll see you Sunday.”
Olivia’s mother spun on her heel and wiggled her finger from side to side, the opposite hand on her hip, her signature move.
“No, ma’am. You are not going to your grandmother’s anymore.”
“No, Mom. That’s not fair! It’s not her fault!”
“I strictly told you never to enter that church. If not for your grandmother shoving religion down your throat, you wouldn’t have gone there tonight.”
If not for her, I’d be going straight to hell. It’s not like you were concerned about me burning for eternity.
“I only went there to be with her. She’s the only person who isn’t constantly fighting and making me feel worthless!”
