Taking a closer look, I can see that he’s uncomfortable. We may not be the best of friends, but I have known him long enough to know when he isn’t happy about something.

  “Perhaps, you could tell me this information as an old friend?”

  “It’s the same damn thing and you know it,” he grumbles. “But this doesn’t just affect the Cammareri empire. Now that we are running for you, it affects the Gypsy Bastards too.”

  “Well, then, out with it. Neither of us has all day to stand here chatting.”

  I want to get home to Lira. My mind has wandered to her many times in the past few hours, and I don’t want to be away from her anymore.

  “Vice has someone planted in your organization,” Beast says flatly. “Heard it was a woman, but that is all I know. These fuckers are getting increasingly creative in their pursuit to try to snuff us out.”

  “Thank you.” I nod. My heart is beating a mile a minute. “I will bring this to the attention of my brothers. If there is a rat, we will weed them out.”

  There is no hesitation in my step as I join my brothers in our custom SUV. There is also no doubt in my mind as to who the vice agent is.

  The two-hour drive back to our home does nothing for me. My skin feels tight, and my nerves frayed. How could I not see this? Is it that easy to fool me?

  I pride myself on being able to read people, being a good judge of character. It’s why I am Alceu’s right-hand man. The one who thinks rationally before acting.

  When we reach the house, I bolt out of the car, storming through the house. I don’t have to seek Lira out. Her laughter draws me to her. I find her and Guilia beside the pool, drinking cocktails. I had this planned out better in my mind, to confront her away from my family so no one would know how epically I had fucked up. But my rage has taken over, and the demand for answers thrums through my veins with every beat of my heart.

  “Are you a cop?” I accuse loudly.

  I wish I used more tact, but the words are out there. The thing that bothers me most is that there is no shock on her features or even indignation at the fact I just accused her.

  “Yes,” Lira replies loud enough for everyone to hear before setting her cocktail on the table.

  Chapter Seventeen

  Lira

  If I had been ahead of this situation, I could have handled this moment better. I want to believe that I stayed here to further the investigation, but the sad truth is that I let my hormones get the better of me. I stayed here not out of duty and definitely not out of fear. No, I’m here because of Severu and the feeling he awakens in me.

  “What do you want to do now?” I ask, trying to keep my tone casual while I watch him.

  “What?” Guilia asks beside me.

  “Fuck!” Severu roars out. “How did I miss this?”

  Alceu joins us with his steely gaze on me. I can see that he is trying to figure out just how much I’ve seen and heard in the past weeks. But it doesn’t matter. Even if I had seen him draw and quarter someone, I won’t say a word.

  “I should shoot you,” Severu seethes.

  I know that what we had, even if it was only a passing thing, is dead in the water. I take a second to mourn what might have been, but there isn’t shit I can do about it now.

  “All right.” My voice holds no emotion.

  “What do you mean all right?” Guilia demands. “Tell him you’re not a cop. You can’t be.”

  For the first time since Severu stormed up to me and demanded an answer, I turn to Guilia. In her eyes sit unshed tears. I wish there was a way to make this easier for her, for me, for all of us, but there isn’t. Instead, I give her the truth that will allow her to hate me instead of mourning me after I die today.

  “I’m sorry, Guilia. I can’t do that. My name is Lira Blake, and I’m an undercover vice agent.”

  I watch a lone tear roll down her face as she tries to accept my words. Guilia stands swiftly and marches across the grass toward the house. The patio door slams so hard that the glass shatters and falls to the tiles beneath.

  “Fix this,” Alceu commands before following in his wife’s footsteps.

  Rage is painted across Severu’s features. I never thought it would be this hard. The sting of knowing he thinks I have or will betray him is almost enough to bring me to my knees. But I won’t. I will hold my head high as I march to my execution.

  “Where do you want to do this?” I ask as I stand before him.

  “Do what?”

  “Kill me.”

  ****

  Severu hasn’t spoken a word as we drive down twisted farm lanes. I don’t know where he’s taking me, and I don’t care. My team thinks I’m deep undercover and can’t report in. They’ll probably wait another two weeks before getting too concerned. I have no family or friends.

  “Get out,” Severu says lowly.

  I didn’t even realize the vehicle had come to a stop. Looking around, I want to smile. At least he brought me somewhere pretty to die. Fields of lavender surround us as far as the eye can see. The black SUV is parked beneath a big oak tree.

  “Tell me, Lira, if that is even your real name,” he seethes. “How long did you think you could get away with this?”

  “Yes, Severu, my name is Lira. I fucked up that first night,” I reply, not looking at him. “And my answer doesn’t matter. You’ve already made up your mind.”

  “Don’t try to manipulate me!”

  “I’m not.” My gaze collides with his. “What do you want me to say? That I haven’t reported a single thing to my superiors?”

  “How could you? You didn’t have access to a phone.”

  Laughter leaves me. “I’m a fucking vice agent. I use a phone at least once a day in that house.” I point in the general direction we came from. “Agent Spears asked me flat-out if I knew anything about a body dumped in an old industrial building. Told me the victim had his head crushed in like a melon.”

  “And?” he asks.

  “You wouldn’t be here if I had told the truth, now, would you?”

  The action is so fast that I almost miss it. Suddenly, I’m staring down the barrel of the gun he always carries with him.

  “And why wouldn’t you tell him? It’s your job to send men like me to prison for the rest of our lives.” Severu has a calmness cloaking him as he asks the question. It’s unnerving and scarier than when I saw him kill the man in the alley.

  Taking a deep breath, I tell him the only truth I have left.

  “Because I’m not sure that you are the bad guy.”

  Chapter Eighteen

  Severu

  I drive for hours, trying to get my thoughts back in order. Putting an end to this mess with Lira is the only logical option. Then why do I feel like such a bastard? I’m a fucking criminal, for God’s sake. I don’t fall for pretty girls working behind the bar in brothels. I certainly don’t let cops fool me and fall into fucking bed with them.

  Walking back into our family home, I feel a pain in my chest and wonder if this is what heartache and longing feel like.

  I want nothing more than to go to my room and sleep for the next week. But the memories of Lira in my bed have me heading instead toward the library. Pouring myself a stiff drink, I push all thoughts of her away. I welcome the burn the alcohol causes down my throat.

  My thoughts swirl and crash together as I stand in the center of the room. My temper spikes, and I hurl the glass in my hand at the nearest wall. My breathing is erratic, and I can already feel a migraine churning at the base of my skull. Fucking Lira.

  “So, is she dead?” Alceu asks from the doorway.

  “No.” Shame washes over me as I lower my head.

  “I’m assuming there is a reason you would leave this entire family open like that.”

  “She won’t report anything,” I say brokenly.

  “I trust you, brother. I always have. But your word isn’t good enough right now,” Alceu says harshly. “My wife and my child are in danger because you couldn’t see what was right in front of your face.”

  My gaze zeroes in on his. “Fuck you, Alceu. I protect this family. I always have,” I seethe. “Remember, brother, no one else saw it either.”

  “You’re right. I shouldn’t have said that. Just tell me what makes you so sure that she won’t change her mind.”

  “It won’t matter if she does. She doesn’t know anything,” I say, pouring a new drink. “And what she does know won’t impact anyone but me.”

  Alceu stares at me, waiting for me to continue. I have dug this hole so fucking deep and have no idea which way to turn. The best option at the moment is to tell the truth and hope he can help me when the time comes.

  “She watched me beat a man to death with my bare hands.”

  “What?” Alceu demands.

  “The night I brought her here. I killed the man who attacked her.” I replay the entire event in my mind.

  “Shit, Severu.” Alceu starts pacing the library floor. “And you let her go? Knowing what she knows? If you couldn’t kill her, you should have just locked her up.”

  A dark chuckle leaves me, causing him to stop pacing immediately. “That’s the thing. She has been reporting in to her superiors every day since she has been here, and she hasn’t breathed a word about it. Not even when asked directly.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” Alceu frowns.

  “No idea. But the last thing she said to me was that she wasn’t sure if I was the bad guy.”

  “Fucking hell.” My brother throws his hands in the air. “I don’t understand women at all.”

  I down my drink as I nod and head out of the library without another word. I need to find a room in this house that Lira hasn’t been in so I can get some fucking sleep without the smell of her lingering around me.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Lira

  Three months later

  “Thank you for calling Clarke and Besson Security services. How may I direct your call?” I answer the phone for the twentieth time today.

  “Greg Clarke, please,” the woman on the other end responds, and I put her through.

  I return to my perpetual job of nothingness. After I quit the force, this was the first job I found. I thought I would be working security, perhaps as a bodyguard. But no, I was hired for my looks, to run the reception.

  It doesn’t matter. A girl needs to eat, and I needed a job.

  “Lira,” Greg calls out from his office. “Can you come in here for a minute?”

  He probably wants coffee or copies of some document. He hasn’t treated me like a personal assistant, but it probably won’t take long for it to start. Rolling my eyes, I leave the reception desk and head toward his office.

  “Take a seat.” He gestures to one of the blue chairs in front of his light-brown desk. “We have a new client. Female. And she has requested a bodyguard. But she has made it clear that her husband is insanely jealous, and we can’t send a man for the job.”

  I feel the excitement rise in me. I would love to be out in the field. To put all my years of training into practice, even if it’s not as a cop.

  “So,” Greg continues, “I know that you have a ton of training, and I was wondering if you would be interested in the position.”

  “Greg,” I start.

  “I know you started as a receptionist.” He holds up his hand. “But this position would include a significant pay raise. Besides, the only other female we employ is off guarding a sheik of some sort.”

  I want this so much, but I know it’s impossible. I can’t put myself at risk. I need to make that clear to Greg.

  “I wish I could, Greg, but I won’t be able to.”

  “Do you have PTSD from the force? I know that is a problem sometimes,” he has a sympathetic look on his face.

  “No, nothing like that.” I laugh. “I recently found out that I’m pregnant. I don’t think it would be professional to start an assignment when I know I can’t fulfill my duties. And it’s not a good idea to put myself in less-than-safe situations.”

  “Well, I appreciate your honesty.” Greg smiles. “And congratulations.”

  “Thanks, Greg.” I smile. “I appreciate your understanding.”

  ****

  I consider calling Severu a million times in the last week. He is the father of my unborn child, after all, and he deserves to know. But every time I have his number pulled up, I chicken out. He wants nothing to do with me, that much he made perfectly clear when he left me in that field of lavender to find my own way home.

  I should probably just be grateful that he didn’t shoot me.

  I pass a baby store on the way home from work. Instead of just continuing home, I head inside. I should start looking at stuff like this, planning for a baby I didn’t know I wanted until I found out I was pregnant.

  They have the cutest things. Pink and frilly for little girls and blue with balls and dogs for little boys. I walk through the store twice. I pick out a crib, some gender-neutral clothing, and a couple of blankets. I’m sure I may have already gone a little overboard, but I just couldn’t help myself.

  Standing at the cashier, I wait for them to ring up all my items. I’m lost in my own thoughts, thinking of the future, of how I will raise a child on my own. I also really need to call Severu and tell him. He isn’t going to be happy.

  “Hi, Lira,” a voice says from behind me.

  Fuck!

  Turning slowly, I face off Guilia and Mancuso. I don’t want to see them here, not now.

  “Nice baby stuff.” Mancuso smiles.

  “Thanks.” I try to think of a plausible lie. “I have a coworker who is having a shower this weekend.”

  “Expensive gifts,” he muses as he scans my haul.

  My gaze clashes with Giulia’s, begging her silently to help me. I don’t know what to say to get him off of this topic.

  “They probably all chipped in?” Guilia asks casually.

  “Yes!” I say with too much enthusiasm. “Everyone from the office chipped in so we could get her the best possible gifts.” The smile I paste on my face is as fake as they come.

  Mancuso watches me closely and I think he may ask more questions before Guilia cuts in.

  “Mancuso, can you give us a moment?” she asks softly.

  He looks between the two of us before nodding. “Yeah, I will go find Jennifer a toy or something. Don’t go anywhere without me,” he directs at Guilia.

  Guilia waits until he is out of earshot before she starts talking at a mile a minute. “Lira, what the fuck? Are you pregnant?”

  “Guilia.” I sigh. “Can we not do this?”

  “No. Tell me the truth.”

  “Yes, I’m pregnant.” I hand my credit card to the cashier.

  “Does Severu know?”

  “Who says it’s his?” I counter.

  Guilia rolls her eyes before giving me a look that says are you kidding? We both know better.

  “You can’t tell him,” I beg softly.

  “He has a right to know,” she hisses in return.

  “And I will call him. But I need to do this on my terms.” I push my card back into my wallet before facing her again. “Severu hates me at the moment, and I can’t even blame him. I just don’t want to make it any worse.”

  “Do you think hiding stuff from him, important stuff like his child, is going to make it better?

  I don’t want to hear her logical explanations, but there is no way around it.

  “Tell him. Or I will.” Guilia leaves the threat hanging as she exits the store.

  Chapter Twenty

  Severu

  The sound of an aluminum baseball bat hitting a knee has always been one of my favorites. The scream that follows just as much. But it just isn’t doing anything for me anymore. Nothing seems to get my interest piqued these days.

  I thought after cutting Lira out of my life, I would be able to just get back to normal, but it hasn’t been that simple. Everywhere I go, everything reminds me of her. For crying out loud, I’m still sleeping in a fucking guestroom, just to avoid the memories that have moved into mine.

  “How’s it going?” Mancuso asks as he walks into the back room at Nocturn where I have a man named Steve Lang tied to a chair.

  “About as well as expected,” I reply, bringing the baseball bat down again.

  Our friend Steve screeches like a fucking banshee. The sound used to soothe my dark soul and smooth out the jagged parts of my psyche, but now it’s only another flat sound.

  “What did he do?” Mancuso asks as he leans closer. “I saw Allegra consoling one of the other girls.”

  “He decided that it was fine to get rough with one of our girls. Split her lip before someone walked in.” When I bring the bat down again, I can hear the bones break and give way.

  “I’m pretty sure after his time with you he’ll think twice before doing something like that again.” My brother chuckles darkly.

  Throwing the bat down on the floor, I look at Steve’s prone form. It’s usually the men who dole out pain on those that can’t defend themselves who can’t handle any pain when they have to be on the receiving end. He is passed out cold.

  “What brings you here?” I ask as I wipe my hands off.

  “Not much. I was just wondering if you’ve seen Lira recently,” he says nonchalantly.

  No one mentions her around me. We just stopped talking about her like she simply never existed. My skin feels tight just hearing her name. I wonder what would prompt this.

  “No.”

  “She looks great. Ran into her while I took Guilia to do some shopping today,” he says.

  “That’s good,” I reply while I walk out of the back room and head toward Allegra’s office.

  I can hear Mancuso following me. I wish he would just go away. I don’t want to think about Lira, much less talk about her. Why the hell would he think this is a conversation I want to have?

  “Have you considered calling her?” he continues to pry.

 

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