Ice heart, p.1
Ice Heart, page 1
Ice Heart © 2024 J.A. Fuller
All Rights Reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means including information storage and retrieval systems, without permission in writing from the author. The only exception is by a reviewer, who may quote short excerpts in a review.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.
Printed in Australia
Cover and internal design by Shawline Publishing Group Pty Ltd
First printing: July 2024
Shawline Publishing Group Pty Ltd
www.shawlinepublishing.com.au
Paperback ISBN 978-1-9231-7133-6
eBook ISBN 978-1-9231-7145-9
Hardback ISBN 978-1-9231-7157-2
Distributed by Shawline Distribution and Lightning Source Global
Shawline Publishing Group acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and pays respects to the Elders, past, present and future.
J.A. fuller
For Noah, my four-legged writing companion
1
Siara
‘I’m just worried.’ My mother’s voice barely makes it through the crackling speaker of the phone. ‘It’s been a year now… and we just hope you’re not still thinking about the things she said.’
The knot in my stomach tightens. I scoff into the phone but find myself unable to deny her. Even if she’s right, she’s making a bigger deal of this than necessary. If Dad was home, he’d get it. He’s the one who usually quietens her loud thoughts – neutralising her when she becomes too ‘worried’.
It’s not like I don’t understand her concern, madness runs in the family – or so I’ve been told – and unfortunately for me, it apparently didn’t skip a generation like it did hers.
My silence must fuel her concern. ‘Have you found it yet?’
I continue my search down the street, eyes eventually falling on a pair of rusted metal numbers, the same pair I was dreading to find. ‘Yes. Just now.’
‘Oh, good.’ My mother pauses, reading my silence for what it is; hesitancy. ‘Siara, we just want to make sure you’re okay.’ I hear a small sigh on the other side of the phone. ‘But if you really don’t want to go…’
An unexpected groan originally intended as a silent profanity escapes between my lips before I have the chance to stop it. Perhaps even more unexpected is the painful empathy that has been breathed into me. How do they do that? How do mothers find that one small weak spot in your resolve and fill it with guilt instead? The same guilt-fuelled obligation drags my feet to the stone steps. Should I go in? I mean, talking is the exact reason I’m here.
If I hadn’t mentioned to my parents about what happened in that room, would they still have sent me to a shrink?
Skipping up the clinic’s steps, my breath catches. A small, shadowed creature waddles through the flowerbed to my right, no bigger than a child’s palm. Its stout arms clamber for the stalk of the largest flower, eventually resorting to a strenuous jump. Once secured, it ascends, climbing its way to the very top and slipping into the unbloomed bud.
A cold, nauseous feeling freckles down my face, residing in the pit of my stomach.
Yes, I think my parents may have still sent me here.
I avert my eyes from the creature’s own, dissociating as if I may be daydreaming. Frowning, my grip tenses around the phone pressed to my ear.
‘Siara?’
‘No. I mean yes – I’m still here, I was just–’ I shake my head, daring not to look back to the flowerbed. ‘Distracted. I’m going in now – I’ll speak to you later.’ I push the door open and an array of beady eyes land on me.
‘Okay, dear. Your father wants you to call him when you get out, okay? Don’t wait too long. The time difference is quite a stretch.’
‘Okay, Mum.’
Despite the broken speaker, there’s no doubt her voice can be heard in the silent waiting room. ‘And, Siara, don’t forget to update this new lady about your hallucinat–’
With a frantic push, I end the call.
My heart makes acquaintance with the nausea in my stomach. Releasing a staggered breath, I glance up towards the people waiting in the padded armchairs. Maybe they didn’t hear her. Most look away uncomfortably. Or maybe they did. One older lady maintains her stare, turning away as she peers back down through her glasses at the book in her lap.
Mortified, I check in at the counter and take a seat, absorbing myself into the secure embrace of my phone screen. I swipe left and right, each completed level in the game relieving a little bit more anxiety than the last. As soon as I feel my breath start to steady, my name is called from the other side of the room and my moments of peace are gone. A tall lady with frazzled silver hair and rainbow earrings pokes her head out of her office, giving me a small wave as I peel myself off my seat.
‘So, Siara, I have a little bit of a background on your recent challenges, but your mother thought it might be helpful to talk through some specific events,’ she says warmly, motioning to the set of chairs across from her desk. I sit. No doubt she’s already been briefed by my loving mother in great detail. I can’t imagine the things she’s been told – hallucinations, breakdowns, time loss. In reality, I’m afraid I’m going to be a disappointment. She finds her place behind her desk.
The afternoon sun beams rays of light onto the client file. If I lean just a little more in my chair, I might be able to make out the notes. That’s when I see it. In the corner of the office, tucked away under a stand, is a little transparent being. Small but eerie, it warps the space around it, distorting the furniture as it glides through unnoticed. I haven’t seen one like this before.
‘Is something the matter?’
I hold the therapist’s stare. If I don’t see it, it’s not there. ‘No, nothing.’
Her gaze narrows, smile still intact. She doesn’t believe me. I wouldn’t believe me either.
‘I’m just feeling a little sad, I guess,’ I lie as the creature passes under the seat, clicking and whirring.
Her gaze softens.
William
His screams howl through the darkness, a piercing sound in the silent forest. By the time I reach him, his voice is lost. What a pitiful sight.
The mound of flesh lies deformed at the base of the cliff. Jagged bones divert off in unnatural angles while lumps of shining skin expand so greatly you would think they may burst. To complete the artistry, hues of the deepest blacks and purples blotch his almost unrecognisable being. What was once a man is now barely a thing at all. How grotesque. Surely something so pathetic must be an act of divine humour.
Rustles on the forest floor catch my attention, drawing my focus behind me. The scurrying and clashing of leaves start to grow louder until the nine year old boy bursts through from amidst the towering trees, running out onto the rocky ledge. His glowing eyes meet my own. ‘Master!’
The boy’s expression drops as his eyes fall to the object at my feet.
I turn my gaze back to the deformed human. ‘If this frightens you then look away.’
The boy steadies his breath, taking a few tentative steps forward in the moonlight and dropping the dangerous plummet to land safely on his feet. ‘No. I know now. I shouldn’t look away.’
He finds his place by my side.
A faint wheeze struggles from the human. My eyebrows twitch in a rare combination of surprise and amusement. It is still alive.
‘Master, can’t we do something?’
‘… Yes.’ From between two swollen lumps of skin, a pair of pleading eyes appear. They cry for compassion. My lungs breathe in an unnecessary breath of air, holding it firm within my chest.
I bring the ice spear down through his body, skewering what was once his skull. His eyes detach from focus, his soul fading out from view. Yanking the spear out with a grunt, human blood flicks onto the ground around us. My breath releases slowly, knowing there is no need for me to take another.
A zap of electricity buzzes from behind us, giving us a split-second warning. Xander’s glare finds mine and we both understand. It’s too late; there’s not enough time. We’re caught.
I turn to the small portal forming, wiping the excess blood on my coat. I can feel the small green demon tensing beside me.
‘You two will be the death of me,’ a feminine voice chimes from the crackling portal. She steps through gracefully, the space around us becoming heavier in an instant.
‘Heret-Kau,’ I mutter, ‘impeccable timing as always.’
The Goddess smiles. ‘William, getting up to no good – as always.’ Her eyes drift disapprovingly to the human lain dead in front of me. ‘Not falling back to old habits, are we?’
My jaw clenches. Xander opens his mouth in protest, but my glance sends the small boy quiet. She wouldn’t understand. Heret-Kau frowns, looking from Xander to myself. ‘Silence is the coward’s confession, William. If you have killed the man, I’ll have you speak it.’
She lifts her chin, her snake eyes bearing down in an attempt of intimidation. It’s unnecessary, her existence itself is intimidating enough, despite how accustomed to it I have become.
‘It was me that ran the human through.’
I see some thing flicker behind the Goddess’ stare. Disappointment? Anger? Possibly both, but I don’t care enough to investigate.
‘I see,’ she concludes, letting the silence linger. A frown gathers on her forehead, accompanied by a bothered sigh. ‘I will send my people to clean up your mess, give the man a burial and enact his chosen religious rites. For now, walk with me. We have much to discuss.’
My feet find their way but Xander remains frozen, no doubt confused by the speed in which she moved on from the killing.
‘You will remain here in the mortal realm,’ she continues as we walk through the dim forest. ‘Who am I to ruin your rebellious escapade?’ Her teasing humour could fool many, but I know her; it is never something simple with Heret-Kau. I remain expressionless and mute, not playing into her games.
Realising her bluff is called, she grins devilishly. ‘There is a new lead – something has changed.’ With my sceptical glance, she continues, ‘The spirits have whispered to me. There is a girl here in the human realm; they say she is connected to who you’re looking for. They say she sees spirits.’
Xander has found his way alongside me once more, glancing at my expression.
It’s been so long, I had almost accepted my fate. In fact, I was convinced it was going to end just moments ago when she arrived. ‘I see.’
Heret-Kau glances over to me, a fleeting melancholy gracing her features.
‘Best to hurry. Time waits for no one, William,’ she says, letting us pass in front. ‘Not even the dead.’
2
Siara
Unbelievable.
The metal bucket scrapes against the concrete with a ghastly sound as I practically throw it under the tap. This was supposed to be a holiday, some downtime to spend with family on the school break. The shrink says it’s to get away from the ‘stressors’ – whatever that means. How am I supposed to focus on being less stressed when I didn’t even know I was stressed to begin with?
My hand stings from the rusted handle. A reluctant groan sounds before hot water spurts out from the old pipes with a lethargy that is almost relatable. I smirk, mildly amused. ‘You and I both.’
With a jolt of realisation, I glance up. Good, no one around. I wouldn’t mind people thinking I was crazy if I wasn’t actually crazy. It’s always worse when people call you things that are true.
A lock of cinnamon hair escapes from the messy bun piled atop my head. I stuff it somewhere else with a huff. There seems to be more lately. The things that I see. On the car drive here, I counted at least eight, mostly small little creatures climbing over logs and hiding in plants. They aren’t the ones that worry me so much, strange as they are. It’s the other ones – the larger ones. I give a small shake of my head. Don’t think about them. With a grunt, I heave the bucket alongside me, walking the edge of the amenities block, passing Mrs Livingston in the process.
‘Good morning, Siara,’ she greets before narrowing her large brown eyes. ‘Oh dear, are you okay, lovely? You’re looking a little pale.’
I give a sickly sweet smile in return. ‘Oh, no, I’m fine. Just a little tired.’
Her mouth mimics a trusting smile but her eyes tell me otherwise. She knows. She’s heard about my condition.
‘Have you seen your mother today?’
Her sudden question catches me off guard. ‘Oh, not since early this morning. Why?’
What has that woman done now?
‘I saw her just moments ago, looking quite frazzled. She asked if I knew where you were, and here you are.’
‘Here I am,’ I say, with an element of charm. ‘I’d better go find her then.’
‘Of course, dear,’ she says, her voice warm. ‘Siara, before you go, I heard about your great gran. I would like to express my condolences. She really was a lovely woman.’
My heart skips a beat, oxygen ceases to enter my lungs. My great gran’s final words linger like an infestation in my mind. No, don’t think about that. I don’t want to think about what happened. Sudden clarity brings me back.
So that’s what that look was for; Mrs Livingston doesn’t know about my condition, she’s just heard about Great Gran. To her, I’m not crazy – not yet, anyway – I’m just grieving. On instinct, I produce a disingenuous smile. ‘Thank you.’ She smiles back and we part ways once again.
Halfway there, I can almost see our little van. Despite the distance, it’s hard to miss. Its rusted metal edges and seventies-style curtains stick out like a sore thumb in this camp park of modern monstrosities. I scuttle across the ground, two arms straining under the weight of the bucket – I’m sure not entirely unlike a crab.
‘Siara!’
Did someone call me?
Hands snatch me from behind like claws on my shoulders. The bucket falls from my grip, water splashing out the sides as my fumbling hands try to save it on its descent. Luckily, only half has been lost. I throw a glare over my shoulder to my offender.
‘You can’t just sneak up on people like that,’ I snap.
‘I’ve been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?’ my mother interrogates, ignoring my remark. Her vibrant red hair is half done, and her energy chaotic.
‘So I’ve heard. What’s wrong?’
‘My phone. I can’t find it anywhere. It’s not in my bag, or the van, or my car–’
‘It’s in your back pocket. It’s always in your back pocket.’
She does a quick slap of the back of her jeans, joy overcoming her. ‘Of course! My beautiful smart girl. What would I do without you?’
Honestly, I have no idea.
She gives me a tight squeeze, her eyes lingering over me when we separate. ‘You know Siara I–’ She stops abruptly, shaking her head. ‘You know what? Don’t worry. It’s nothing. I have an important video call for work, but I’ll be back before dinner.’
‘But, Mum, you said–’
‘I know, I know. I’m sorry – I really am. I know what I said but it’ll be quick. It’s really important. It looks like I’ll have to walk into town for it, the reception is shocking down here.’
I nod, turning to face her, but just as quickly as she had arrived, she is gone. My eyes eventually find her silhouette trekking up the road into the distance, a glowing phone held stretched out above her head searching for a satellite.
A shadow walks up alongside me. I ignore it. I’ve found it’s best to do that. Eyes straight and expression neutral. I can’t imagine what the creatures would do if they knew that I was aware of them, whether they actually exist or not, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
‘Hey, you want me to carry that?’
My fear resides. ‘Rye, thank God it’s just you.’
The broad arm stretches out across me, clasping the handle and carrying the metal pail with ease. He places his other hand against his chest, pretending to be mortally wounded. ‘Just me.’
‘Shut up. You know what I mean.’
He gives a wide grin, bumping his shoulders into mine. I return the favour in kind.
‘I didn’t even know your family was down here,’ I say as we start the stroll back to the van.
‘Just me and my sister this time.’
I nod. I don’t need to ask. I know that means that his nan isn’t well and I’m not good with topics like that, they remind me of… other things. Things I don’t want to be reminded of.
‘I see that your mother is as neurotic as ever,’ he whispers, saving me from my depressing train of thought.
‘Oh, so you saw that, did you?’ I laugh. ‘I’m convinced she likes you better than me. I’m surprised she didn’t go to you first for help.’
Rye smiles playfully, his blue eyes glinting in a way that catches my heart a little off guard. ‘Well, it’s because she didn’t know I was here, you see…’
‘Oh, of course.’
Something moves in the distance, just down the road. A dark disfigured entity. The playful banter falls to silence. My breath catches. Rye’s stare lingers, watching. He already knows my situation and knows that it will pass. I look away from him. I don’t want to meet his eyes but I don’t want to meet the eyes of the creature either. My breath stays held as the creature sprints down the road, right past me. Afraid. It’s afraid.
