Burning love hell yeah c.., p.4
Burning Love (Hell Yeah! Cajun Style), page 4
Dr. Young looked at her with sympathy. “Are you happy? Do you want more out of life? Do you want to know what it’s like to know the love of a good man?”
“Well, when you put it that way. . . .” Harley wanted so bad to laugh at herself, but the whole situation was just too sad. Meeting Beau today just seemed to cap it all off. The way he made her feel before the panic attack just highlighted how empty her existence had become and how she was just watching life pass her by. If it wasn’t for her work at Socorro, she wouldn’t have a purpose at all.
“Look, let me make you an appointment with someone I trust – implicitly. Dr. Wagner can help you. I know he can. And get those pills filled – today.”
*****
Harley stared at the appointment card like it was a poisonous snake. She didn’t know if she had the courage to go to a sex therapist and bare her soul. Thank goodness she had a month to think about it. Pulling on a pair of blue jeans, she grabbed a yellow sweater off a rack and skimmed it over her head. She had followed the doctor’s orders and gotten the prescription filled. And as soon as she had gotten home, she had swallowed a once-a-month birth control pill and tried to relax in the shower. Going to the gynecologist always made her feel funny. The jelly they used to ease the insertion of the probe always made her feel like she had been violated again.
As she hung up her clothes and straightened the bathroom, a noise from across the hall caught her attention. It sounded like a door creaking and – swear to God – she heard the sound of a child’s little voice waft on the air. Every hair rose on the back of her neck. Great – now she was hearing ghosts.
Moving slowly, Harley left her room and eased across the hall. Maybe the sounds had come from outside. Sure, that was it, it had to be. Beau had told her a tale and she had fallen for it – hook, line and sinker. Still, she was going to check and make sure. Just before she opened the door to the guest room, she heard another noise; it sounded like people talking in her kitchen. All right, this was just too much. Going back to slip on her sandals, she scooted downstairs. Her heart was racing a mile a minute. She had never really believed in ghosts, but she had spent enough time in New Orleans to realize there were more strange things in this world than she had ever imagined. Peeking into the kitchen, she was relieved to see nothing out of place.
It wouldn’t take but a moment for her to look around the whole first floor – and she wouldn’t rest until she knew there were no intruders lurking around the next corner ready to jump out at her. As she headed through the entry hall on the way to the dining room, a lilting little laugh seemed to come from directly behind her. The very next moment, the front door bell chimed and Harley panicked, threw open the door – saw Beau, and launched herself right into his arms.
“Hey, precious!” Beau couldn’t imagine a better welcome. This was way better than yesterday. All day, he had worried about the way she had reacted to his kiss. If she didn’t enjoy his touch, it just might kill him. Then, he realized she was trembling. “What in the world?” She wrapped her arms so tight around him; he had trouble taking a breath. Beau didn’t mind that a bit. “Harley, is something wrong?” He cradled her closely, aware of every luscious inch of her body nestled close to his.
“I heard noises. I think it was the ghost.” Her voice was shaking and Beau wanted to smile. He had never been grateful to a ghost before, but he definitely owed the specters of Willowbend.
“I’m here, it’s okay, Love. I’ll protect you.” Lord, what a perfect armful. He could feel her tits pushing against his chest as she tried to crawl into his skin. Kissing her temple, he marveled at how right it felt.
How wonderful to be held! Harley clung to him a second longer, trying to calm down. Gradually, she began to feel foolish. Some brave Special Ops soldier she was – falling apart and going all girly over a ghost! And then – there it was – the niggle of unease. Beau was so precious, but he was a large male and being in his arms brought back painful memories. Gee, she was pitiful! Pushing back from him, she managed to put a few inches between them. “Sorry, I feel so stupid.”
He let her distance herself for a little bit, the night was young – at least she had turned to him when she felt afraid. Beau was old-fashioned. He was the protector. There was one thing he believed more than any other. It was a man’s place to protect his woman – to shield her from whatever threat she might face. If everything went the way he hoped, he’d get her back in his arms before the evening was over – or he wasn’t the ragin’ Cajun he thought he was. “You stay right here and I’ll go check everything out and make sure you don’t have an intruder.” She stood there by him looking like a China doll – a wary trust in her eyes. Right then, he vowed in his heart that he would never, ever let her down. “God, you’re beautiful.” Stealing a kiss from her worried little forehead, he looked into eyes the color of amber jewels. Where had he seen eyes that shade before? “Don’t fret, Lamb. I’ll take care of things.” It made him feel great to be able to take care of her. She had knocked him for a loop and all he could think about was getting to know her and seeing if the incredible connection he felt with her was real.
“Okay, I trust you.” Harley knew she should be the one to check out her home, she was perfectly capable. But Lord, it was nice to have someone want to take care of her. Their gazes held for just a moment and she was struck anew by his sheer size and masculinity. Even though she was emotionally damaged – she wasn’t blind. Beau was built. He was strong and sure of himself; yet kind and so considerate. And sexy, incredibly sexy.
I trust you. I trust you. Harley’s words rang in Beau’s ears. Searching her face, he looked for his own ghost. Was he imagining things? What he saw was a drop-dead gorgeous woman who had more sensual appeal than should be legal. More importantly, she had just leapt into his arms like she belonged there. Still – those words – I trust you, haunted him. Despite the provocative prospect of spending time with Harley, Beau still remembered Nada. It had been sixteen long years, but not a day went by that he didn’t think of her. She had saved his life, asking nothing in return. His heart still broke every time he thought of the night he had led the police back to Brownwood to save her and the others, only to find that Pell had killed her in anger because she had been foolish enough to help him escape. That was the last words he had heard Nada say, ‘I trust you. I trust you, Beau-ray’.
“I’ll be right back.” Fighting off the ancient memory, he decided to enjoy the blessings of the present. Entering the big double doors of Willowbend, he found that Harley had been busy. It wasn’t like she was trying to turn back time, but she had tried to stay true to the spirit of the place. That thought made him smile. He hadn’t really been joking about the place being haunted – he had heard it was. And the person who told him, Savannah Doucet, would know. Savannah was their local ghost hunter. She haunted more cemeteries and battlefields than the dead did. According to Miss Doucet, this beautiful old home was still inhabited by the mulatto mistress of Joshua Conway and their two mixed race children. Tales of visitations by Lillian, the mistress, were commonplace. Most would see her or hear her in the kitchen and the little girl and the little boy were most often heard – their little voices carrying on the wind, laughing and playing in the twilight.
Beau walked into the living room. Harley had done a good job with the house. He was just a good ole’ boy, but her sense of style appealed to him. The colors were warm and inviting – blues and earth tones with touches of burgundy. He would feel right at home here. She had brought the richness of Louisiana and the mystery of the bayou into every aspect. Audubon prints were on the walls and wooden carvings of wildlife sat on the table. It was amazing.
Making his way through the plantation house, Beau looked for clues as to what defined Harley. Everything was comfortable, not overly feminine, but tasteful and well put together. When he came to her bedroom, he stared at the big bed covered in pillows and imagined being there with her, loving on that incredible body and making her cry out with passion. Mon Dieu! He couldn’t wait to see her naked, those breasts were going to be spectacular. Beau’s cock grew hard and thick just thinking about cupping them and sucking on them. He loved a woman’s breasts and he couldn’t wait to get his hands on Harley’s. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw a figure go by. Thinking it was Harley, he made a grab for her – and his hand closed around – nothing. “Well, shit!” he laughed. Continuing on with his inspection, he had to conclude that there was no one in the house but them – no one alive, at any rate.
When he went back downstairs, he found Harley standing in the front hall at the base of the stairs. She began to apologize. “Look, I’m sorry. I was foolish. My imagination just got the best of me. I can’t believe I attacked you at the door, like I did.” He walked right up to her, making her realize what a height advantage he had. She stood five-four and he was easily a foot taller without those shit-kicker boots he wore.
Beau couldn’t keep his hands off of her if he tried. Taking her stubborn little chin in his hand, he tilted her face up to his. She visibly trembled and he noticed it was all she could do to stand still. What was up? This was one mystery he definitely intended to solve. “It was my fault. If I hadn’t filled your head with scary stories, you would have just ignored the unusual noises. And don’t you know that I want you in my arms? The greeting you gave me at the door was the fulfillment of a fantasy, Love – not something you need to apologize for.”
“I don’t think I could have ignored the laughter of a little child. It sounded too real.” He was standing so close and her whole body was reacting to him in conflicting ways. Harley was mystified; she hadn’t realized she could still feel this way. Not only was she a bit nervous, she was beginning to feel sexually excited. And it wasn’t just that he was a virile, exciting, handsome man – no, it was because he was Beau – her Beau-ray. “I’m just thankful it was you outside my door. I could have thrown myself into the arms of the UPS guy.”
“I’m glad it was me, too. I don’t want anybody else holding you tight. I’m claiming that job for my own.” He smiled, watching her cheeks grow warm again. God, she was a delight! Beau debated whether or not to tell her the legends or what he had seen upstairs. He decided against it, for now. “I just don’t want you to be scared.”
“I’m okay now.”
He couldn’t resist, he placed the back of his hand on her face; her cheek was so soft. Jesus, he wanted to kiss her. “Look, let me take you out to eat, and we’ll talk about everything over supper. I have your check and some papers on the conversion I want you take a look at. And there’s no charge for the conversion.” Her big doe eyes pulled at his heartstrings. “But to be honest – I just want to spend the evening with you. I couldn’t stay away, Cher. Will you do me the honor of keeping company with me tonight?” He waited, expectantly, studying her face.
And then she surprised them both. She rose up on tiptoe, put her arms around his neck and kissed him on the side of the face. It was a quick embrace, but it was a start. “I would love to have dinner with you. But, you’re in business and I will pay for the conversion.”
Beau didn’t know what to do. He started to put his arms around her – but let them fall and then, he gave in to his desires. “No more talk of money.” He clasped her to him so tight that he was afraid he might break her. “God, Baby – you do know how to turn a man inside out.”
Harley struggled with herself and forced her body to remain still. She could feel the ridge of his cock, hard against her stomach. For a moment, she wanted to rub herself against it. Embarrassed by her own desire, and a fear that the panicky feelings would start, she pulled back - again. “Sorry, I got carried away.” What was she thinking? The realization that a physical relationship with Beau might be a possibility stunned her. He wanted her, or he thought he did. There was no attempt on his part to hide his interest. But what would Beau have to say when he found out her secrets? And she had so many. . . . .
“Don’t you dare apologize to me. Having you in my arms is absolute heaven.” Watching her cast her gaze to the ground, he wondered at her innocence. She gave out this - almost virginal vibe. But, surely not. She was fully-grown, filled out, and a fuck-fantasy if he ever saw one. But she was also a lady and he would never, ever dare forget that. This sweet doll was a class act, and he was going to make sure he did everything just right. “I want to be alone with you more than I want to eat – but I’m determined to show you a good time. So, let’s go out while I still have the strength to resist you.” Putting a hand in the small of her back, he showed her to his truck and helped her inside. For the first time, he wished for bench seats so he could have her sit right next to him. “Have you ever been to Mulate’s?”
“No, but I’ve heard about it. They are supposed to have some of the best Cajun food around.” Breathing deeply, Harley inhaled his scent. He smelled so clean, like salt spray and crisp autumn air. They pulled out of her drive and headed toward the small downtown area of the sleepy south Louisiana town. “Where do you live, Beau?” She couldn’t resist asking about him. Now that she had found him, she was hungry to know every detail she could learn.
She was interested in him! Yes! “Most of the year; I live on a houseboat. There’s nothing in the world like it. I can’t wait to take you out on it. Also, I have a house a few miles from yours, deeper in the swamp at my game preserve. You’ll love it. It sits on stilts and there is this meandering staircase and deck that I’ve built that goes from the decks off my living room and bedroom and winds down around trees and over swampy places and ends up right on the bayou. There’s a dock there that you can sit on and fish. If you’ll come over one night, I’ll grill steaks and we can eat down there.” He had to touch her hair – it seemed imperative. Yes, it was as soft as he imagined it would be. Stroking the silky strands from her face, he tucked a little bit behind one pink shell of an ear. This time she didn’t tremble – good. “Would you like that?”
She hesitated, not because she didn’t think she would have a good time – but she knew there was so much they needed to discuss before they could embark on a real friendship – and thinking about anything else was more than she could process right now. “Why don’t we wait until after dinner tonight and see if you still want to see me again?” She said it lightheartedly, but meant every word.
“Do you remember that innocent kiss from yesterday?” He drove into the parking lot of the inauspicious restaurant and slowed to a stop. Not waiting for an answer, he asked another question. “I didn’t get to keep you in my arms for very long. But the amount of time I had you there was heaven.” Their eyes were locked, she watched him as closely as a frightened deer. He could tell she was listening intently. “Do you remember how it felt to be in my arms a few minutes ago, when you ran to me for protection?” The expression on her face wasn’t hard to read – it was longing – pure and simple. “I do, Sugar. And I’ll be honest with you. I’ve never felt this way about a woman before. I want you, Harley Montoya. I want you every way that a man can want a woman.”
She felt hypnotized. No one had ever spoken to her this way before. The closest had been the night she had lain in Beau’s arms when she had been thirteen and he had told her she belonged to him. Lord, she owed him so much. She owed him the truth about who she was. Right now, she had no intention of telling him about the rapes; she had learned her lesson on sharing that detail from her past. Later she might feel differently – but right now, she didn’t want that ugliness to mar their reunion. God, she didn’t know what to do – but she could be honest about one thing. “I’m glad I’m with you. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be.”
“Well, hallelujah,” – was all he could say.
On the way to the restaurant, she tried to get all of this sorted out in her mind. God, she wanted to share herself with him, to acknowledge their connection and their past. But would that be wise? So much water had run under the bridge and the last thing she wanted was for him to bear blame for what happened to her. He escaped and she had provided the distraction. It was a risk she was willing to take. After the midnight visits to her room, Pell’s reaction shouldn’t have come as a surprise. Harley could still feel his cruel hands as he had forced her into the back room where he had made her pay for his loss. Harley – or Nada – (that was one of the ways she coped, separating herself from the ugly reality) had been cruelly raped. But that single act of violence had given her the courage to run away from Brownwood. So while Pell had removed the bloody rubber and jerked the soiled sheet from his bed, she had fled.
The only regret she had was losing Beau that day. How often she had thought of him and prayed he was doing well. Harley would have given anything if she could have left with him, but she had understood it was impossible. He hadn’t offered to take her and she hadn’t realized he was going until just moments before he escaped. She had been able to help him, and for that she was grateful. As he had turned to go, she had mouthed the words – ‘Run, I’ll slow him down’. If only they could have found one another later, but she had never known Beau’s last name or where to find him - until today when she had walked into his shop and stood face to face with her past.
A crowd was gathered in the parking lot, so Beau found a place and helped her out of his truck, escorting her to the door with a possessive arm on her shoulder. When they walked through the modest entrance of the restaurant, the rhythmic music of Cajun zydeco met her ears. It was all she could do to keep her bottom still; the peppy, driving beat made her want to dance. As they made their way through the entry hall, Beau showed her all of the photos and signatures of famous people who had performed at the club – Muddy Waters, Huey Lewis – even Paul Simon. “I can’t wait to get you in my arms on the dance floor,” he whispered in her ear.
Dancing with Beau – just the thought of it sent a shiver through her body. The only times she had ever indulged was in a crowd setting, to fast music. She had never been held in a man’s arms while they swayed to the music. Could she do it? Did she want to try? “I’m not very good at dancing. My lifestyle hasn’t given me much of a chance to indulge.” There, that was as good an explanation as any.
