A christmas conundrum, p.1
A Christmas Conundrum, page 1
A Christmas Conundrum
By
Fenella J Miller
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any method, electronic, mechanical, recording or otherwise, without the prior written permission of The Author - Fenella J. Miller
A Christmas Conundrum © Copyright Fenella J. Miller, 2020
This e-Book is a work of fiction. While references may be made to actual places or events, the names, characters, incidents, and locations within are from the author's imagination and are not a resemblance to actual living or dead persons, businesses, or events. Any similarity is coincidental.
COVER DESIGN BY JANE DIXON-SMITH
Chapter One
October, 1816, Suffolk
‘Papa, if we invite a dozen families for a festive house party then the gentleman that we want to come won’t be aware of our plans,’ Rose suggested.
‘Why would anyone want to come to Castle Swaffham? It’s cold and unpleasant in the winter,’ her father said gloomily.
She looked across at her brother who was staring as if moonstruck at a letter he’d received that morning. ‘Don’t you agree, James? Please, gather your wits and pay attention our very futures depend on this house party.’
‘Aunt Agatha has died.’ He waved the paper at them as if expecting them to immediately understand why this was of some importance.
‘Who the devil is Aunt Agatha, boy? Don’t talk in riddles, I’ve no time for your nonsense.’ Papa was irascible at the best of times and today wasn’t one of those. James had better pay attention if he didn’t want to be evicted from the house yet again.
‘Adam has finally inherited from his Aunt Agatha. He has no need to marry an heiress now, he’s already got the title and now he’s got the money to go with it. You can marry your sweetheart, little sister, and we don’t need to have this ridiculous event.’
‘I don’t give a damn how much money that jackanapes has at his disposal – I’ll not give my permission for you to marry him. If you want to wait another two years until you reach your majority, my girl, then you will have to do so elsewhere.’
‘Papa, forgive me for saying so, but that makes little sense. Here we are planning to hold a Christmas house party primarily to invite a Mr Ralph Somerton so that he can see I’m the ideal candidate to be his bride. Everybody knows that he’s looking for a titled lady and has more money than anyone deserves to have at his disposal.’
Her parent snorted. ‘You have a point, but there’s a difference. I know that the Earl of Newby is an idiot and I don’t wish to have him in the family. However, as I’ve never met Somerton, at the moment I prefer him.’
James was about to aggravate the situation but she shook her head and he winked and subsided leaving her to smooth things over as he always did. Since Mama had died three years ago things had been different. The castle wasn’t the same without her and Papa certainly wasn’t. Sometimes she thought he was angry that he’d lost his wife rather than sad. Her mother had certainly known how to keep him from falling into fits of rage as he did more frequently nowadays.
‘I’ll make a bargain with you, Papa. If you allow Adam to attend the house party then I promise that I’ll not spend any more time with him than any other gentleman. I’ll do my very best to tempt Mr Somerton into making me an offer. If I fail then will you give me your word that I can marry Adam?’
He nodded. ‘If it was your brother offering me that choice, I’d not take it. I don’t trust him to keep his word. You, on the other hand, will do as you vow. Can I leave the arrangements to you, Rose? As long as you don’t ask me to be involved, you can spend whatever you want. I’m confident that one way or the other at the end of it there’ll be money in the coffers again.’ He tossed aside his journal and stomped out.
‘I’m never sure, my dear, whether I’m jealous or relieved that he prefers you. I’ll be the Earl of Swaffham when he kicks the bucket and I don’t understand why he doesn’t ask me to find myself an heiress?’
‘Look around you, brother, do you think any young lady would wish to live here her entire life when she could marry someone with a modern property and not this ancient pile? I think your reputation as a hardened gambler will also be to your disadvantage.’ James had ruined the family but refused to accept it.
‘This could be a splendid place if money was spent on it. There aren’t many ancient castles still intact. We have everything a romantic young lady could possibly want. The walls are crenellated, we have turrets and towers as well as two courtyards. Not forgetting the resident ghosts, of course.’
She jumped to her feet and rushed over to embrace him much to his surprise. ‘You are the most wonderful brother and I now know exactly how to attract the most prestigious families. You’re quite right to remind me that this place is extraordinary. This will be a unique experience for every guest where they can travel back in time to the days when there were knights in armour and jousting and sword fights.’
He was staring at her as if she was an escapee from a lunatic asylum. ‘Have you run mad? Where will we get…’ His voice died away and he smiled and was on his feet looking more animated than she’d seen him in months. ‘We have the armour, my God, there must be a dozen or more suits standing about the place going rusty. There are also swords, shields and so on hanging on every available wall. The main courtyard is large enough for jousting and the smaller for sword fighting. All we need are horses strong enough to carry a man in armour.’
‘A destrier, the horse that the knights of old prized so highly, was similar to a farm horse. We have two teams of our own and I’m certain we could borrow others from our tenants and neighbours. They will be glad to have someone else feed them as they’re standing idle at the moment.’
‘Then you’ll have to get the maids sewing the necessary accoutrements. Each knight must have his horse decked out in his colours. I’ll find the horses and get the weaponry and armour ready for use. I’m almost looking forward to this event – no – I really am excited. For the first time in my life I’m actually pleased to be living in the equivalent of a museum.’
‘We’ll have to come up with suitable names for each of the knights and then the gentlemen can be allocated one on their arrival. I recall that Mama once told me that when she was a child she was invited here and something similar took place. The gowns made for the ladies that attended are somewhere in trunks in the attic. I imagine there must be suitable ensembles for the gentlemen as well.’
‘Obviously, the historical events of our house party can only occupy a day or two. The remainder of the time must be spent in more usual pastimes. I think people will be queueing up to come.’ He looked around the room that they were presently using as their drawing room. His face fell and he subsided onto his chair his enthusiasm gone as rapidly as it had appeared.
‘It won’t wash, my dear, this place is a disaster. It’s not had any improvements in years.’
‘Don’t look so downhearted, James. I’ve already thought of that. Did not Papa tell me I could spend as much as I want? If we have fires in every room and get them lit immediately the place will seem more cheerful. I’m also going to have it decorated with evergreens, baubles, ribbons and so on. It will be unrecognisable by the time I’m done.’
*
Grosvenor Square, London.
‘Mr Somerton, sir, I have a dozen invitations recently arrived. I have ranked them in order of interest. Shall I put them on the desk?’ Robertson said and held the silver salver out in front of him.
‘Is there anything you think I might enjoy? Anything out of the ordinary?’
His secretary nodded. ‘There’s one that I think you’ll like, sir.’
Ralph held out his hand and instead of bringing it across Robertson flicked the folded square of paper through the air so he could catch it. This young man, his secretary and man of affairs, had been with him for two years, since his return from India a nabob, and they suited each other perfectly.
He opened it and after reading the first line swung his booted feet from the edge of the desk and sat up straight in his chair. ‘God’s teeth! Now this is something interesting. Like most boys I rather fancied myself as Sir Lancelot and imagined I could slay a dragon for a damsel in distress.’
‘Then I’ll reply in the affirmative to this one. I didn’t know there was a Castle Swaffham, sir, until this arrived yesterday morning. I made some enquiries and discovered that the earl, a widower, has a son and daughter of marriageable age. His son has gambled away the family fortune so I imagine this is a last attempt to find an heiress for Lord James or a husband for Lady Rose.’
‘Then I applaud their ingenuity. I suspect that the other people will be in a similar position to myself. Did your enquiries discover how many guests there will be and if I might already be acquainted with some of them?’
‘Indeed I did. As far as I can ascertain there will be more than two dozen families, a mix of the titled and wealthy, and I gather this invitation is much prized. I could have sold it for a small fortune.’
Ralph laughed. ‘Then I’m glad that you didn’t. It says that costumes, weaponry and armour will be supplied and also the steeds. For the first time since I got back from my travels I feel quite enthused. I can fence, but I’m not sure of my skills with a broadsword.’
‘Might I be permitted to point out, sir, that gentlemen were much smaller in those days and it’s highly unlikely anyone today would be able to fit into armour made then.’ Robertson grinned. ‘And you’re more than two yards high in your stockinged feet.’
‘I don’t give a damn about that. I intend to gallop about behaving badly with the other gentlemen. There will be a banquet, a tournament, as well as other entertainment suitable to the theme. Unfortunately, as the invitation is from the week before Christmas until Twelfth Night, I’ll also have to endure tedious dinners, card games and no doubt a ball or two.’
‘You made it known that you’re looking for a suitable bride to share your good fortune, yet since then you’ve attended no more than three events where you could meet such a prize.’
‘I’ll marry the daughter of this Earl of Swaffham. Lady Rose must be someone I could like. After all, it is she who has organised this. There, the matter’s settled. I can enjoy myself without being obliged to spend time with giggling debutantes and predatory matrons on the hunt for a rich husband for their daughters.’
‘Shall I include your offer in your reply to the invitation?’
He picked up the nearest book on the desk and hurled it at his secretary. Robertson dodged smartly, well used to this practice, and left. His laughter could be heard as he returned to his own domain where he efficiently ran the myriad businesses, funds, and manufactories for his employer.
He had two months to get himself fit before this house party. Lazing about the house, eating and drinking too much and not taking sufficient exercise, since his return last year had left him flabby. He was determined to regain his trim figure before he set out. It would be undignified, to say the least, if he was unable to use any of the armour because of his girth.
He had been a lieutenant in Sir Arthur Wellesley’s army and sold out whilst in India. He’d loved the richness and colour of the country and thought he might be able to make himself sufficient to buy a small estate on his return. He’d had the good fortune to save the life of a Raja and his family and from that moment on his fortunes had changed.
Now here he was, several years later, back in England and wealthier than he had any right to be. Every guinea had been honestly gained but he knew that if it hadn’t been for that remarkable piece of good luck he wouldn’t be in the position he was.
There’d been no time for romance, no opportunity to find himself a wife, and he wished to share his fortune with someone. He wanted to set up his nursery, be able to leave what he had to his children. He had no family. He was an only child; his parents were dead and he’d just scraped together the money to buy his colours from money inherited from his grandmother.
One could say that he intended to buy himself a bride – God knows he could afford it – but he was a particular man. He wanted wit, intelligence and beauty as well as a title. This young lady had certainly got the first two and he sincerely hoped that she had the third.
*
‘What do you think, Papa? Doesn’t the castle look beautiful in its Christmas finery.’
‘It certainly warmer, I’ll give you that. Where did you find all the hangings, curtains and cushions?’
‘There was a positive treasure trove in the store rooms that I knew nothing about. I think one of your ancestors must have travelled to India or some such place and returned with dozens of bolts of silk and cotton. I used everything I found to refurbish and restore all the bedchambers and reception rooms.’
James strolled in and joined in the conversation. ‘Having stone walls has proved an advantage for once. Now the armour has been repaired and polished one can’t fail to be impressed. Also, the shields, lances and swords look quite splendid and suitably warlike.’
‘I think we’ve worked miracles between us these past few weeks. I’m particularly pleased with the caparisons and banners that have been made. The dozen farm horses we now have in our stables will look quite magnificent decked out in their special clothing.’
‘It occurs to me, Rose, that there might be some argument about which knight each gentleman becomes. How do you intend to allocate them?’
Their father interrupted. ‘Why not auction them? You’ve emptied the coffers getting this nonsense ready, my girl, and this would be a way of partially filling them.’
Before she could disagree, James stepped in. ‘An excellent notion, sir. With all the accoutrements for each knight so splendidly displayed in the central hall our guests will have ample opportunity to view them and decide which one they would like to wear.’
‘I’m not comfortable with your suggestion, sir, but as I’m outvoted, I’ll say no more. The gowns that I found for the ladies have been washed and pressed and I’ve put them in what used to be mama’s private sitting room. The gentlemen’s ensembles are in the music room. I shall leave you to organise the distribution of those, James.’
Her brother smiled. ‘To be honest, I’m actually looking forward to transforming into a knight of old. That reminds me, Rose, I forgot to mention that your party is the talk of the town and those that received invitations feel themselves honoured to have been thought of.’
‘That must be why I’ve had so many letters asking if extra guests could be accommodated. Fifty, including ourselves, is the absolute maximum the castle can comfortably hold. If the weather was clement then we could have put marquees on the lawn. I’m sure they wouldn’t have cavilled at such rudimentary accommodation.’
‘When do the first of our guests arrive?’
‘The day after tomorrow, Papa, it will then be exactly one week to our Lord’s name day. People will arrive over two days and I’ve no entertainments planned until everyone is in residence and settled. I think you should have your auction on the twentieth, James.’
‘I think it wise of you to postpone the actual tournaments and battles, sister, until after Christmas day itself. I think it highly possible that there might be injuries, broken limbs, and so on and better to have that happen at the end of the event rather than the beginning.’
‘I do wish you wouldn’t be such a Jonah. Although, I own I’ve already arranged for the apothecary and the doctor to attend on those two days. I’m beginning to feel nervous and wonder if I’ve taken on more than I should have done. I have nightmares about gentlemen being stuck in their armour and having to be cut out by the blacksmith.’
‘You said that you had a carefully planned itinerary which will be placed in each bedchamber. Am I not to be acquainted with this information too?’
Rose pointed to a pile of beautifully penned notices that were waiting to be distributed tomorrow.
Itinerary for Castle Swaffham Christmas House Party
Day One and Two – Arrival of guests.
3. Auction of the names.
4. Musical Evening.
5. Informal dance and card evening.
6. Theatrical performances.
7. Christmas Eve – Celebration supper and midnight service.
8. Christmas Day.
9. Boxing Day – Knights will practice for the tourney.
10. Tournament and battles followed by banquet in the grand hall.
11. Grand finale of the tournaments and winners declared.
12. Sunday – Day of quiet contemplation and recovery.
13. Skating and tobogganing if weather permits.
14. New Year’s Eve Ball.
15. Day of contemplation and recovery.
16. Ghost Hunt in the castle turrets for those brave enough to participate.
17. From the third of January until Twelfth Night guests shall entertain themselves.
18. Twelfth Night – Farewell Ball.
19. Guests depart.
‘Well, that’s certainly comprehensive. I cannot credit that you managed to organise all this yourself. It makes my head spin just looking at it. I really think the good Lord should have made you the heir and me the daughter. You’ve got more backbone, intelligence and wit than I.’
‘You certainly have the looks, James. You and Adam could be brothers so alike you are. I favour my papa which is unfortunate, I suppose. Red hair and green eyes are not at all fashionable.’
‘Fishing for compliments, my dear? You’re quite beautiful, and I’ll be fighting off unwanted suitors with my lance.’
‘Adam certainly agrees with you, but then he’s known me since I was in the schoolroom and is somewhat biased. Which reminds me, why hasn’t he come to see us? He writes weekly but that doesn’t compensate for his absence.’
