Karma, p.21
Karma, page 21
Liza swallowed over the lump of fear that wedged in her throat. “Who do you owe money to? Tell me so I can pay them and make the threat go away. Then you can come home and get help.”
“You can’t keep making things better for me, Liza Lou.” His voice cracked on her name.
“Then make them better for yourself,” she whispered.
“I’m not sure I know how.” She had to strain to hear him.
“We’ll figure it out together,” she promised him. “Just come home.”
“Can’t,” he said. Then he was gone.
“Brian?” When she didn’t hear his voice again, she looked at the phone, but she didn’t need confirmation that he’d disconnected the call.
With shaking hands, Liza placed the phone in her lap and stared out the window into the dark night. Then she waited for Dare to yell at her for offering to bail out her brother once more. She prayed he’d trust her judgment and understand why she’d offered to pay off her brother’s loans without knowing how much he owed, to whom, or for what reason he’d borrowed in the first place.
But in her heart and soul, she knew Dare couldn’t possibly let that go. Even as she’d spoken, Liza knew she’d crossed a line. Dare and his unyielding sense of right and wrong wouldn’t understand. He had uprooted himself and his life to take care of her and keep her safe, and she’d once again sided with Brian. She fully expected him to wash his hands of her for good, and her chest hurt at the thought.
And his continued silence long after she’d disconnected the call confirmed her fear.
Dare knew Liza was waiting for him to speak, but he’d be damned if he’d run off at the mouth and start a fight without thinking things through. And as much as he’d hated listening to her part of the conversation, his gut told him she’d been right to make the offer. This wasn’t about Brian’s drinking. This was about life. Her life. The loan sharks needed to be paid off so Liza could be safe.
Her guaranteed safety was the key.
He waited until they’d pulled into her driveway and exited the car. He turned and grasped her hand before she could walk inside.
“Don’t.” She pulled back.
“Don’t what? Tell you I understand why you made the offer? Because I do.”
Her eyes opened wide. “Then why the silent treatment?”
“Because I wanted to take my time and think things through. Yes, you have to pay off his debts to be safe. But…”
Her hopeful expression drooped at his qualification. “But what?”
“Who’s to say it’ll be the last time? What happens next time he gets into trouble? Or the next? It’s your long-term welfare that matters.”
“There are no guarantees in this life. Trust me, I know.”
She started to turn away, but he grasped her face. “Hey. Don’t be angry because I care. I’m telling you I agree with what you have to do.”
“You just don’t approve.” She raised a hand before he could interrupt. “Don’t worry. I get it. Look, I’m tired. Can we just go inside and get some sleep? Tomorrow, we’ll deal with the logistics of how to make this thing with Brian happen.”
He let her go, following her to the door. What more could he say? There was no point in beating the dead horse that was her brother, his alcoholism, and the years of enabling him that had led to this moment.
Dare might be this close to falling in love with her. Hell, he was probably already there. But his speech about the cyclical nature of her brother’s disease and the inevitability of her bailing him out again wouldn’t be changing any time soon.
Once and for all, he had to decide whether he could deal with it…or not.
Liza couldn’t say which of them withdrew first. She only knew that she lay on one side of her bed and he on the other. She pretended to sleep, but she wasn’t even close. Her heart was close to breaking, and if this was how she felt now, imagine the agony she’d feel once she really invested her heart.
Nope, withdrawal was the smart thing. The right thing. The only thing she could do.
Because Dare would be here now while she was in danger. He’d help her get through this situation and maybe even stick around for the honeymoon period after, when Brian did whatever he could to stay out of trouble. And then, after she fell for him completely, Brian would do something, Liza would have to help him, and Dare wouldn’t be able to understand.
He agreed with her decision, but he didn’t approve. Liza considered those words fair warning and decided to act accordingly.
* * *
Dare met Ethan and Nash for lunch at the Family Restaurant on Thursday afternoon. The restaurant had been Dare’s meeting place with Nash for years. He’d never imagined Ethan would be included in these impromptu luncheons, but he had to admit he was grateful they’d put the past behind them.
The meal consisted of the usual barrage of insults and jokes, serious questions about other things, and of course eating burgers and guzzling soda.
“So Tess wants to go to a party Friday night,” Ethan said, leaning back in the booth.
Dare narrowed his gaze. “What kind of party?”
“House party. She’s been good lately. Grades are excellent, hanging out with Michelle, who’s been a good influence…”
“Kelly mentioned it to me. Is Michelle going to the party?” Nash asked.
Ethan nodded. “Faith’s leaning toward saying yes, rewarding her for good behavior and all that. Kelly agreed with her.”
Dare listened to the conversation and processed the arguments in favor, but his mind had already been made up. “Are you all crazy?”
Ethan met his gaze. “We can’t keep her locked in her room. That’ll just encourage her to sneak around when she starts to feel like we’ll never trust her.”
“And meanwhile, she’s just gotten her previous record expunged. Why would you want to risk something like this?” Dare asked, fists clenched hard.
“Is this her brother talking, or is it the cop in you?” Nash asked.
“Or is it the kid who went to a party and never forgot it?” Ethan asked somberly.
Damn, but his eldest brother was perceptive. Dare glared at him. “Maybe it’s a mixture of all three. All I know is that nothing but trouble can happen at one of these high school parties.” He cocked his head to one side.
“Is it supervised, or is that a stupid question?” Nash asked.
“Not stupid, and surprisingly yes. The parents will be home.”
“Doesn’t matter. If they’re dumb enough to host a party with all the liability these days, I’m not sure that means squat.” Dare leaned his elbows on the cleared-off tabletop.
Ethan exhaled a long breath. “I still say I don’t think we have a choice. I’d rather she know she’s earned our trust. She’ll understand she can call us no matter what happens, and we’ll be there. Better than sneaking out like we used to do.”
Nash stretched his arms over his head and groaned. “Sorry, man,” he said to Dare. “I’m with Ethan. We have to let the kid spread her wings.”
Dare remained silent. Legally, he had no say. Ethan was her guardian, sharing decisions with Kelly. They’d all agreed to it. Dare was just lucky Ethan asked their opinion on big decisions for their new sister.
And maybe, given his background and what he saw on the job, he was ultrasensitive on the subject. “I don’t like it,” he muttered under his breath. “But I appreciate you asking our opinion anyway.”
“I’m not an idiot. I know what can happen at these things. I also know how Tess reacts when she’s feeling trapped and unhappy. I just want to give her a little freedom in exchange for how much she’s come around,” Ethan said.
Dare nodded. “I get it.” He did. But as he’d told Liza the other day, even though he understood, that didn’t mean he approved.
“So any luck tracking down Brian McKnight?” Nash asked, knowing when to change the subject.
Not that this topic was any better, Dare thought. “No. Not yet.”
“So you’re still staying with Liza then?” Ethan asked.
“Yeah.” And wasn’t that a treat? Ever since their terse talk in the car about her brother, he hadn’t had the time to back away so he could consider his options. Liza had done enough pulling back for both of them.
It was as if admitting his inability to truly accept the realities of her life had marked the end in her mind. He fucking hated the distance between them, both in bed and out. But he also knew how unfair it would be for him to push his way past her barriers only to end up back in the same argument later down the road.
“Hey, where’d you go?” Nash asked. “Everything okay with her?”
“No.”
“Want to talk about it?” Ethan asked.
“Nope.” Dare reached into his pocket for money to pay his share of the bill and tossed the cash onto the table. “I’ve got to get back to work.”
“Not dealing with it won’t make it go away,” Nash reminded him.
Dare rolled his eyes. “Talking won’t change it either.” He raised a hand and headed out, unwilling to bare his soul when it wouldn’t make one damned bit of difference.
* * *
With Dare at work, Liza spent Thursday evening with Kelly at the caterers. Liza had to admit she appreciated the chance to get out with a woman she’d come to consider a friend, away from the stifling time she’d been spending with Dare. When she was home, she had too much free time to think about everything they’d shared before the reality of her life had intruded. What she’d lost was enough to make her crazy.
Which told her she was smart not to let things between them go any further. Not that he seemed to be pushing, either. They were two polite strangers who just happened to share a bed until the danger to her had passed.
Kelly drove them to the large catering hall, where the head chef prepared choices and dishes for them to taste. To Liza’s surprise, she and Kelly agreed easily on most courses and talked through what they didn’t. Faith, who’d delegated the task, would approve on paper. Then the menus would go out to the printers.
After they’d chosen desserts and the catering manager who would run the event from Ethan and Faith’s left them alone, Kelly turned to Liza. “Spill.”
“What?” She met the other woman’s serious brown-eyed gaze.
“You aren’t yourself, and I want to know why. What did Dare do?”
Liza managed a laugh. “What makes you think it’s Dare? My life is crazy enough to make me not myself.”
“Oh yeah? Do tell.” Kelly nudged her elbow as she leaned in close.
Liza sighed. “Okay, fine. It’s Dare.” Nuts as it seemed, Liza’s mood had nothing to do with her brother, his drinking, debts, or even the loan sharks lying in wait for her.
“Need me to slap him for you?” One corner of Kelly’s mouth turned up in a grin.
Liza grinned. “Not quite yet.” She thought long and hard before speaking, and when she was ready, she’d sobered. “It’s not Dare’s fault we’re having problems.”
“Then whose is it? Yours?”
If Kelly minded prying, Liza couldn’t tell. She just barged in, and to Liza’s never-ending surprise, she didn’t mind. In fact, she needed the ear. Needed a friend.
“It’s life. Circumstance.” She drew a deep breath and dove in. “I’m sure you know about Stuart Rossman’s death, right?”
Kelly nodded. “And I’m guessing you know Dare was there.”
This time, Liza nodded. “Dare’s holding so much guilt from that night. So am I. If I’d stayed home like I was supposed to, my brother wouldn’t have had the party, and that boy would still be alive.”
Kelly blew out a long breath. “Well, if you ask me, that’s common ground you two share. Not that misplaced guilt is such a great thing, mind you, but how can it keep you apart?”
“He blames my brother and rightly so. Brian’s done nothing to fix his life and has made no effort to make some good come of the past tragedy. Not like Dare has by becoming a cop and a good person.” Liza bit her bottom lip. “And he blames me for enabling Brian’s behavior.”
“Now that’s unfair.”
“But not entirely wrong. But my brother was there for me when I really needed him. He may well have saved my life and shielded me from my parents at the same time. I owe him. And…he’s my brother.”
“I get that. I’d kill for Tess, believe me. But doesn’t there reach a point when they have to sink or swim on their own?”
“Maybe…yes…of course. And I’ve reached that point with Brian—except whatever he’s done now has put me in danger.” She glanced at Kelly. “You know the rest, right?”
The other woman nodded.
“So once I hear from my brother, I have no choice but to tell him I’ll bail him out and pay off whatever he owes. I have to get the loan sharks taken care of—for his safety as well as mine.”
“Dare can’t object to that?”
She shook her head. “But that will only solve this one problem, and Dare and I both know that there’ll be many more in the future. Brian’s drinking and irresponsible behavior reminds Dare of a past he’d rather forget. And by extension, I’m a living, breathing reminder.” She shook her head, unsuccessfully blinking back the tears. “Dammit.” She wiped her eyes with her arm.
Laughing gently, Kelly handed her a napkin from the table.
“It’s linen,” Liza muttered.
“I won’t tell if you won’t.”
Liza smiled. “Thanks.” She blotted her eyes, grimacing at the black smears her makeup left behind. She rolled the napkin inside out and placed it back onto the table. “Look, I appreciate you listening, but I don’t want to put you in the middle or cause trouble with your family.”
Kelly shook her head. “Every person in that family speaks their mind, so forget worrying. And since you told me everything, I’m going to give you my opinion.”
“I’m all ears.” Another woman’s point of view would be welcome at this point.
“Dare’s being a jerk.”
Liza jerked her head up. “Say that again?”
“You heard me. He needs to get over himself. Every family has its share of dysfunction, and his is no different. How dare he judge yours?” She giggled, and Liza couldn’t help but find it infectious.
“Thank you for that. But it really is too much to ask anyone to put up with Brian.” And Liza wasn’t worth the hassle.
She knew that firsthand. Knew it from the cradle, when her parents put her brother’s wants and needs before her own.
“Hey. You have to know how wrong you are.”
Liza didn’t want to continue this conversation anymore, but she didn’t want to be rude either. Kelly meant well, and Liza valued her friendship.
The only way to get her to understand was to tell her the gut-honest truth. “What I know is that nobody has ever stuck around in my life. Not friends, not family…no one. Dare has pretty much made it clear that he can’t be any different, and I’m not willing to risk my heart on the off chance he comes around.”
Kelly opened her mouth, then closed it again. “I don’t know about Dare, but I can tell you something about me. I don’t make close friends easily either, but when I do? It’s for keeps.” Then to Liza’s surprise, Kelly opened her arms and pulled Liza into a warm, friendly hug.
Even if it wasn’t everything Liza wanted, it was exactly what she needed. Kelly had cemented a place in Liza’s heart that she didn’t give away easily, either. Still, she couldn’t help but realize that not even Dare’s sister-in-law could promise the impossible on behalf of her brother-in-law. Which left Liza exactly where she’d started.
Alone.
Which she hadn’t been since this nightmare with her brother had started. In the beginning, she hadn’t minded the twenty-four-hour bodyguard when it was Dare. But since they’d unofficially ended the relationship he was so insistent they shared, she was no longer comfortable knowing his family had to babysit her when he wasn’t around. Despite Kelly’s warmth and friendship, old feelings died hard.
Though she appreciated their efforts to make sure she was never alone and couldn’t be approached by anyone, she couldn’t stop feeling like she’d become a burden they hadn’t asked for. Just like her parents—who hadn’t picked up the phone since Brian had accidentally given her a concussion.
Alone was easier.
She massaged her temples and groaned. Clearly, she needed rest.
“I don’t know about you, but all that tasting did was make me hungry for ice cream,” Kelly said, interrupting her thoughts.
Liza shook her head and laughed, happy to be distracted from thoughts of Dare. “Ice cream sounds great.” Anything to take her mind off her problems.
But when they entered the small shop off Main, Liza was reminded of the first time she and Dare had had a civil conversation—and kiss.
She sighed, not wanting to go that route. “So how are you holding up?” she asked Kelly as they walked into the store. “You mentioned earlier that Tess wanted to go to a party tomorrow night and Dare wasn’t pleased.” The conversation had been interrupted by the arrival of the caterer.
In fact, he was beyond pissed and concerned. Telling her about Tess had broken the ice between them for the first time all week. Though words were inadequate, she’d seen his concern and fear for his sister, and she’d comforted him the best she could. Raising a teenager wasn’t easy. He’d run through his brothers’ and sisters’-in-law reasons for letting her go, and she both understood and respected them. So did Dare.
But he didn’t agree or approve of their decision. And Liza knew what it was like when Dare didn’t approve.
“Yeah. I’m trying my best not to worry,” Kelly admitted. “But I agree with Ethan and Faith. She’s earned our trust, and she has to start somewhere.” Kelly looked out the glass window onto the streets of Serendipity before speaking. “When we lived in the city, Tess got herself into serious trouble.”
“How serious?” Liza asked.
They got their ice cream and picked a table in the corner to sit down and eat.
Once they were alone, Kelly spoke. “Smoking, drinking, and hanging out with the wrong kids were the least of her problems. She got caught breaking and entering with a group of guys and one other girl. She was arrested and had a juvenile probation officer and everything. And no matter what I did, I couldn’t reach her.” Kelly’s vanilla ice cream dripped over her cone while she talked. “I finally turned to Richard Kane, who had handled Tess’s father’s estate.”
