Enneagram type 9, p.1
Enneagram Type 9, page 1
Enneagram Type 9: The Peaceful Mediator
© 2019 by Beth McCord
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ISBN-13
: 978-1-4002-1578-2
ISBN-13
: 978-1-4002-1930-8 (eBook)
19 20 21 22 23 GRI 10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1
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Contents
Ebook Instructions
Foreword
Introduction
Overview of the Nine Enneagram Types
Overview of Type 9: The Peaceful Mediator
Day 1: Faith and the Enneagram
Day 2: Being Aware
Day 3: Core Motivations
Day 4: Core Fear
Day 5: Core Desire
Day 6: Core Weakness
Day 7: Core Longing
Day 8: Directional Signals of the Enneagram
Day 9: Levels of Alignment with God’s Truth
Day 10: When You Are Aligned
Day 11: When You Are Misaligned
Day 12: When You Are Out of Alignment Entirely
Day 13: The Wings
Day 14: The Triads
Day 15: Childhood Message
Day 16: Enneagram Paths
Day 17: Stress Path
Day 18: Blind Spot Path
Day 19: Growth Path
Day 20: Converging Path
Day 21: Moving Toward Your Best Self
Afterword
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Foreword
As a Type 9, my interest in the Enneagram was originally rooted in my desire to understand the people closest to me. Sure, along the way, I’d love to figure myself out too. But mostly I wanted to uncover what makes my friends and family tick and learn how to love them better. This wasn’t as selfless as it may seem at first glance. I’ve learned that, yes, those things are true—I do want to learn how to love my friends and family better—but it’s also true that by doing so, I may be able to keep the waters of my life calm and easy.
If you identify as a Type 9, I suspect that you may also be drawn to the Enneagram by the same magnetic force of wanting to unify the relationships around you. This is a beautiful part of who you are! Cherish it. But if I may, I’d like to offer a tiny bit of counsel, from one 9 to another. As you learn more about yourself in the pages ahead, you may think, Hmm, yes. That’s true. I do that. Or, Yeah, that’s definitely me. Or, Yep, I’ll do just about anything to avoid conflict!
All the while, you’ll be subconsciously filing everything you learn about yourself into a nice and tidy folder in the way, way, way back of your mind labeled “Interesting Things to Process Someday.” Process them now. Choose to open yourself up beyond comfort. When you read things about being self-forgetful or being asleep to yourself, please take it to heart. It’s all true! You may be tempted to hit the snooze button over and over again and self-forget your way through this entire book. So make certain that every time you crack open this truth-filled book, you’re also cracking open your heart to all that Beth has to share.
I spent a bunch of years studying the Enneagram. But I’ve recently realized that I was only learning about eight Types. And as only a Type 9 could, I successfully forgot myself and dismissed and disqualified the baggage I’ve been quietly dragging around with me. Honestly, that’s because it was easier that way. But as we all know, easy and right are rarely in step with one another. So yes, the bummer news is that there’s a ton of hard work ahead, and for as long as we’re breathing, there will be more work to be done. But the really good news is that the work is not so much an obligation or duty as it is an invitation to be fully alive and to live a more whole and beautiful life.
You, my fellow Type 9, sitting there at the top of the strange Enneagram symbol—you are invited. You are welcomed. You are valued. You are necessary. Remember who you are.
Ryan O’Neal, Singer-Songwriter, Sleeping at Last, http://www.sleepingatlast.com
Introduction
I’m so glad you’re here! As an Enneagram teacher and coach, I have seen so many lives changed by the Enneagram. This is a perfect place for you to start your own journey of growth. I’ll explain how this interactive book works, but first I’d like to share a little of my story.
Before I learned about the Enneagram, I often unknowingly committed assumicide, which is my word for damaging a relationship by assuming I know someone’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations. I incorrectly guess why someone is behaving a particular way and respond (sometimes with disastrous results) without asking clarifying questions to confirm my assumptions or to find out what actually is going on. I’ve made many wrong and hurtful assumptions about people I dearly love, as well as destructive presumptions about myself.
When my husband, Jeff, and I were in the early years of our marriage, it was a difficult season in our relationship. For the life of me, I couldn’t figure out Jeff, or myself. I had been a Christian since I was young and desired to live like Christ, but I kept running into the same stumbling blocks over and over again. I was constantly frustrated, and I longed to understand my heart’s motives—Why do I do what I do? I figured understanding that might help jolt me out of my rut, but I didn’t know where to start.
Then I learned about the insightful tool of the Enneagram, and it was exactly what I needed.
This personality typology (ennea for nine; gram for diagram) goes beyond what we do (our behaviors) and gets at why we do what we do (our heart’s motives). And though there are just nine basic personality Types, each Type has multiple layers, allowing for numerous variations of any given personality Type.
The purpose of the Enneagram is to awaken self-awareness and provide hope for growth. Once we learn why each Type thinks, feels, and acts in specific ways, we can look at ourselves with new understanding. Then we can depend on God in new ways to reshape us. The Enneagram makes us aware of when our heart’s motives are good and we are on the best path for our personality Type and when our heart is struggling and veering off course. The Enneagram is an insightful tool, but God’s truth is what sets us free and brings transformation.
When I first learned about the Enneagram, I resonated with the Type 9—and had a good laugh when I discovered that 9s know themselves the least! But I finally had wisdom that cleared away the fog and illuminated my inner world. I kept thinking, Oh, that’s why I do that! Everything started making sense, which brought my restless heart relief.
The Enneagram also helped me see when my heart was aligned with God’s truth, misaligned to some degree, or out of alignment entirely with the person God created me to be. It would highlight where I was misunderstanding myself or those I love, and then I could use that awareness to seek transformation. Using the Enneagram from this perspective was a significant turning point for me in all my relationships, especially my marriage. My new perspective allowed me to have more compassion, kindness, forgiveness, mercy, and grace toward others and myself.
Exploring my heart has been some of the hardest—and most rewarding—work I’ve ever done. The process of looking at our hearts exposes who we are at the core, which highlights our need for redemption and care from God, who is always supplying us with what we need. We simply need to come to Him and depend on Him to change us from the inside out. He will give us a new internal peace, joy, and security that will help us to flourish in new and life-giving ways.
The Enneagram can function as an internal GPS, helping you understand why you and others think, feel, and behave in particular ways.
This internal GPS assists you in knowing your current location (your Main Enneagram Type) and your Type’s healthiest destination (how your Type can live in alignment with t
The Enneagram also acts like a rumble strip on the highway—that boundary that makes an irritating sound when your car touches it, warning you when you’re about to go off course. It keeps you from swerving into dangerous situations.
While everyone has character traits of all nine Types to varying degrees, we call only one our Main Type. In this book you will unlock some of the mysteries behind why you do what you do and discern ways you can grow into your best self.
If you’re not sure of your Type number, that’s okay! Going through the exercises will help you figure out what your Type number is. Sometimes it’s helpful to find out what we’re not as much as what we are. It’s all about self-discovery and self-awareness. If you find you resonate more with another number, that insight is valuable.
In the twenty-one entries that follow, we’ll begin with a summary of your Type. Then we’ll discuss topics that are general to the Enneagram and specific to your Type. Each reading will end with reflection questions—prompts to help you write out your thoughts, feelings, and gut reactions to what you have read. Putting pen to paper will help you focus and process what is going on inside you.
Before you begin, I want you to commit to observing your inner world from a nonjudgmental stance. Since God has fully forgiven us, we can observe ourselves without condemnation, guilt, or shame. Instead, we can rest in the fact that we are unconditionally loved, forgiven, and accepted based on what Christ did for us. Follow the prompts and write about your own story. Allow God to transform you from the inside out by helping you see yourself through the lens of the beautiful and amazing Type He designed you to be.
It’s my privilege to walk with you as you discover who you are by examining your heart. I’m excited to be on this journey with you!
DEAR
TYPE 9
I’M THANKFUL FOR YOU BECAUSE . . .
You are deeply receptive, accepting, unselfconscious, and emotionally stable. You are simple, patient, unpretentious, good-natured, and genuinely kind. You are a good listener, reassuring, and a great encourager. You bring peace and harmony wherever you go that enables others to flourish.
OVERVIEW OF THE NINE ENNEAGRAM TYPES
The Enneagram (ennea = nine, gram = diagram) is a map for personal growth that identifies the nine basic ways of relating to and perceiving the world. It accurately describes why you think, feel, and behave in particular ways based upon your Core Motivations. Understanding the Enneagram will give you more self-awareness, forgiveness, and compassion for yourself and others.
To find your main Type, take our FREE assessment at test.YourEnneagramCoach.com, and find the Type on the next page that has your Core Motivations—what activates and drives your thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.
Core Motivations of Each Type
Core Desires: what you’re always striving for, believing it will completely fulfill you
Core Fears: what you’re always avoiding and trying to prevent from happening
Core Weakness: the issue you’re always wrestling with, which will remain a struggle until you’re in heaven and is a reminder you need God’s help on a daily basis
Core Longing: the message your heart is always longing to hear
Type 1: MORAL PERFECTIONIST
Core Desire: Having integrity; being good, balanced, accurate, virtuous, and right.
Core Fear: Being wrong, bad, evil, inappropriate, unredeemable, or corruptible.
Core Weakness: Resentment: Repressing anger that leads to continual frustration and dissatisfaction with yourself, others, and the world for not being perfect.
Core Longing: You are good.
Type 2: SUPPORTIVE ADVISOR
Core Desire: Being appreciated, loved, and wanted.
Core Fear: Being rejected and unwanted; being thought worthless, needy, inconsequential, dispensable, or unworthy of love.
Core Weakness: Pride: Denying your own needs and emotions while using your strong intuition to discover and focus on the emotions and needs of others; confidently inserting your helpful support in hopes that others will say how grateful they are for your thoughtful care.
Core Longing: You are wanted and loved.
Type 3: SUCCESSFUL ACHIEVER
Core Desire: Having high status and respect; being admired, successful, and valuable.
Core Fear: Being exposed as or thought incompetent, inefficient, or worthless; failing to be or appear successful.
Core Weakness: Deceit: Deceiving yourself into believing that you are only the image you present to others; embellishing the truth by putting on a polished persona for everyone (including yourself) to see and admire.
Core Longing: You are loved for simply being you.
Type 4: ROMANTIC INDIVIDUALIST
Core Desire: Being unique, special, and authentic.
Core Fear: Being inadequate, emotionally cut off, plain, mundane, defective, flawed, or insignificant.
Core Weakness: Envy: Feeling that you’re tragically flawed, that something foundational is missing inside you, and that others possess qualities you lack.
Core Longing: You are seen and loved for exactly who you are—special and unique.
Type 5: INVESTIGATIVE THINKER
Core Desire: Being capable and competent.
Core Fear: Being annihilated, invaded, or not existing; being thought incapable or ignorant; having obligations placed upon you, or your energy being completely depleted.
Core Weakness: Avarice: Feeling that you lack inner resources and that too much interaction with others will lead to catastrophic depletion; withholding yourself from contact with the world; holding on to your resources and minimizing your needs.
Core Longing: Your needs are not a problem.
Type 6: LOYAL GUARDIAN
Core Desire: Having security, guidance, and support.
Core Fear: Fearing fear itself; being without support, security, or guidance; being blamed, targeted, alone, or physically abandoned.
Core Weakness: Anxiety: Scanning the horizon of life and trying to predict and prevent negative outcomes (especially worst-case scenarios); remaining in a constant state of apprehension and worry.
Core Longing: You are safe and secure.
Type 7: ENTERTAINING OPTIMIST
Core Desire: Being happy, fully satisfied, and content.
Core Fear: Being deprived, trapped in emotional pain, limited, or bored; missing out on something fun.
Core Weakness: Gluttony: Feeling a great emptiness inside and having an insatiable desire to “fill yourself up” with experiences and stimulation in hopes of feeling completely satisfied and content.
Core Longing: You will be taken care of.
Type 8: PROTECTIVE CHALLENGER
Core Desire: Protecting yourself and those in your inner circle.
Core Fear: Being weak, powerless, harmed, controlled, vulnerable, manipulated, and left at the mercy of injustice.
Core Weakness: Lust/Excess: Constantly desiring intensity, control, and power; willfully pushing yourself on others in order to get what you desire.
Core Longing: You will not be betrayed.
Type 9: PEACEFUL MEDIATOR
Core Desire: Having inner stability and peace of mind.
Core Fear: Being in conflict, tension, or discord; feeling shut out and overlooked; losing connection and relationship with others.
Core Weakness: Sloth: Remaining in an unrealistic and idealistic world in order to keep the peace, remain easygoing, and not be disturbed by your anger; falling asleep to your passions, abilities, desires, needs, and worth by merging with others to keep peace and harmony.
Core Longing: Your presence matters.
TYPE 9
KEY MOTIVATIONS
Nines are motivated to have inner stability and peace of mind. You want to be comfortable, experience harmonious relationships, and have mutual positive regard amongst people so that everyone feels respected and at ease.
