Oleander, p.16
Oleander, page 16
He hesitated and then rose and settled between her legs, his cock lodged at her entrance. He threaded his fingers with hers and held them exactly as she’d requested. “Like this?”
She nodded. “Yes.” Her voice was breathy. “Perfect. Except you have to put your cock inside me.”
He smiled. “Don’t rush me, woman. I’m memorizing this. It’s a big deal.”
She rolled her eyes adorably. “I’m impatient.”
“Good. I hope you always feel impatient for my cock. But take some deep breaths.”
She drew in a breath and let it out.
He kissed her before speaking again. “It’s going to be tight. It’s going to hurt. You’re not going to like it. I swear it won’t stay that way. But if you want me to stop at any time, say the word. We don’t have to do this now.”
“We’re not stopping. I know what to expect. I’ve heard other women talk about it. I’ll be fine.”
He inhaled deeply. He was a mix of emotions. On the one hand, there was nothing more precious than knowing he would be her first and teaching her all the pleasures of sex while watching her face. On the other hand, the last thing he ever wanted to do was cause her pain, and yet it was unavoidable.
He set his forehead against hers and prodded her entrance with the tip of his cock. He’d never been this fucking hard. He’d had to tell the small head to hold off a dozen times in the last hour.
Kally wiggled her hips, trying to arch against him.
He gritted his teeth as discreetly as possible and let the first inch or so slide into her.
She whimpered. “Yes…”
He pulled back out and gave her more. Not enough. Just a taste. A taste that teased his cock. If it could talk, it would be shouting at him.
Jagger retreated, leaving the tip at her entrance, watching her face.
“That feels so good. Do it, Jagger. Please.”
He breathed deeply as he slid in slightly farther, giving her another inch each time. He was nowhere near fully seated. He flexed his hands around her fingers, trying not to squeeze too tightly.
Her swollen lips were parted. She squirmed and arched and fought to get him deeper.
He pulled out and pushed back in again. He was going to get awarded for sainthood before this was over. The amount of restraint he was exerting was shocking.
“Jagger, do it,” she begged. “Stop teasing.”
He held her gaze, judged her to be serious, and thrust all the way to the hilt.
She gasped, eyes wide, no longer breathing.
He didn’t look away, even though he hated that expression. She was his. His to hold during the best times and the hard times. This was unavoidably one of the difficult times.
She held her breath, not moving.
He’d never felt such a tight grip. His decision to fully impale her had been rash, but maybe it had been for the best. He kissed her open mouth and nuzzled her nose. “I’m sorry, honey.”
She shook her head. “Don’t be sorry. Give me a second.”
“Take all the time you need.”
She was at least breathing now.
He kissed her face, neck, and shoulders. He wanted to say I love you, but he held it back. She wasn’t ready for that. They’d discussed the L word before but in vague terms, not in the way he wanted to say it while he was inside her.
“Do you want me to stop?” he asked.
“No. I want you to move. Do it again.”
He hesitated and then followed her instructions, easing almost out and then sliding back in just as deep. He was going to come any fucking second. She felt extraordinarily good. Better than anything he’d ever experienced. It wasn’t just the tightness of her pussy. It was more. It was…
“Fuck,” he muttered, stiffening.
“What?” She flinched under his expletive.
“I forgot the condom.” He gripped her hands. “I’m so sorry. I should grab one.”
She shook her head. “Don’t you dare. Why do you need it? I’m on birth control. Are you worried I might get pregnant anyway? I would never force you to stay with me if—”
He cut her off. “Jesus, Kally.” He shook her hands. “I wouldn’t give a fuck if you got pregnant. I’m trying to be a gentleman. It was inconsiderate of me not to put on a condom and protect you. I don’t give a fuck about your birth control. Do you not understand how I feel about you?”
He didn’t mean to sound frustrated, but he really wanted her to grasp that this wasn’t a short fling for him. She was it for him. He was never going to be done with her. The only way this ended was if she wanted to leave.
She blinked at him. “Protect me from what?”
His breath hitched. “Well, nothing. I haven’t had sex in a long time, and I’ve been tested. I don’t have any diseases or anything. It’s just inconsiderate, like I said.”
“Then you’re protecting me from getting pregnant,” she responded. “Don’t these shots work pretty well?”
He shook his head, unable to keep himself from practically chuckling. Here they were, his cock deep inside her, having a misunderstanding of maximum proportions, and he needed her to see his meaning before he continued.
He kissed all over her face again, helping her relax. “I’d love to have a baby with you. Again, it’s your body. I’ll never tell you when or if you should have a baby. That’s not what I’m worried about, honey. I’m just saying a man shouldn’t lose his head and forget to wear a condom. It’s selfish.”
“You’re the least selfish person I’ve ever met,” she murmured. “Will you stop worrying about the condom? If you’re afraid I’ll get pregnant, stop and put one on. If you’re just being unnecessarily gentlemanly, stop it and fuck me. I’d really rather you not pull out. It doesn’t hurt anymore. I’d like to feel you pumping in and out of me. I feel so close to you this way.”
He licked his lips and searched her gaze. She was serious. “Yes, ma’am.”
She giggled, but only for a second because her giggle turned into a sexy moan as he eased out and thrust back in deep.
“Yes… Do that again.”
He obliged her, focusing on her glazed-over eyes to keep himself in check. He didn’t want to come too quickly, but his cock had been denied for so many long nights in bed with her that it was close to a revolt.
“Oh God, Jagger. That feels so good…” She lifted her hips in rhythm with his thrusts.
Without the condom, he was even more sensitive. He’d heard men talk about the difference. They hadn’t exaggerated. He would never want the barrier between him and this tight pussy now that he’d felt paradise.
Kally whimpered, her legs coming around his waist. “It never looks this sexy in the movies…” she muttered.
He loved how she could talk and analyze their lovemaking. He loved how he was blowing the doors off her misconceptions, too. “The people on television don’t feel the way I feel about you, honey.”
She bit her lip and tipped back her head.
Jagger took it slow. If he moved too fast, he would come in a heartbeat. He wanted her to experience more than one minute of his cock this first time, especially since she seemed to be enjoying it more than he’d expected.
When he ground the base of his cock against her clit, she cried out.
“Damn, that’s hot, Kally. Do you want to rub your clit while I fill your pussy?”
She shook her head. “Can you do it?”
Gladly. “Of course.” He released one of her hands and slid his palm down, lifting his hips slightly to slip it between them. When he found her swollen nub, she gasped.
She gripped his other hand tighter but used her free hand to grab his shoulder. The force of her grip spoke volumes. “That…feels…so…good.”
Thank God. He really wanted her to come again. He wasn’t unrealistic. He’d considered it a longshot the first time he entered her, but she was writhing now, her greedy pussy gripping him tight. She moaned every time he moved and shuddered as he stroked her clit.
She was going to come.
“Faster,” she pleaded.
He smiled. He loved how bold she could be. He was so glad she could ask for what she needed. He had no idea if she meant his cock or his fingers, so he increased the pressure of his fingers and the speed of his thrusts.
She arched, her breathing coming heavier. Her eyes rolled back. Her fingers dug into his shoulder and his knuckles. And then she fucking cried out just as loud as before as her orgasm rippled through her sexy body, shaking both of them with the ferocity of the tremors.
Jagger couldn’t hold back another second. Her reaction pushed him over the edge. He let his cock spill his seed deep inside her in the most intense and amazing orgasm of his life.
The first of many. The first of a lifetime of fucking hot orgasms inside this woman. At least he fucking hoped so.
As he eased his fingers out from between them, panting, trying to catch his breath, he couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face. He hoped she felt the same way, and he knew she did when she returned the grin before she sighed hard.
“You’re crushing me,” she whispered.
He quickly released her hand, set his elbows at her sides, and lifted the bulk of his weight off her. “Sorry.”
She ran her hands up and down his back and gripped his ass. “They lied.”
“Who lied?” He was still smiling. She was going to say something funny.
“Everyone.”
“What did they lie about, honey?” He kissed her.
“That was the best thing I’ve ever felt in my life. It only hurt for like a second, and then the world suddenly had more color. All my senses heightened. I had no idea it would be like that.”
Her eyes went wide, and she met his gaze. “Will it be like that again?”
“Nope. Better.” God, she was precious.
She rolled her sassy eyes. “You’re teasing.”
“Nope. I’m serious. We barely know each other’s likes and dislikes. As we learn what feels good, we’ll improve on this every day.”
“How could it feel better?” she asked, narrowing her gaze.
“Oh, it will. You’ll see. I’ll find out if you like my tongue inside you or against your clit. I’ll learn exactly what parts of your pussy make you squirm when I stroke your channel. I’ll discover how you like your breasts sucked. Hard? Gently? Or maybe just tongued. And we haven’t even gotten to your ass.”
She gasped and clenched beneath him.
He chuckled.
“My, uh… Seriously?”
“I would never joke about anal.” He kissed her again. “But again, I also would never do anything you haven’t begged me to do.”
“I don’t see myself begging you to touch me there.” She gripped his butt cheeks.
He shrugged. “You might. We’ll see.”
Her cheeks flushed darkly. So fucking adorable.
Her expression grew serious. “I don’t want you to pull out.” She held him tighter, her arms coming around his waist. “I feel so close to you like this. Closer than when you hold me.”
“Yeah, that happens when I’m inside of you, honey,” he teased. “But I can’t hold myself aloft here much longer, and I don’t want to crush you.”
“Maybe when we go to bed, you can do it from behind me and then just stay inside,” she suggested.
He couldn’t stop grinning. “Gladly. Or…” He grabbed her waist and carefully rolled them to their sides so they were facing each other. The only reason he was able to keep his cock inside her was because he was still just as fucking hard. She felt too good for his erection to subside. One orgasm wasn’t going to quench his thirst for her.
He doubted a million orgasms would be enough.
As he stroked her hair away from her forehead, he prayed he would get to keep her. She was so young, so vulnerable. She had her entire life in front of her. He needed to be prepared for a time when she might want to walk away.
He knew she felt attached to him and clung to him right now, but that wouldn’t last forever. It wasn’t sustainable. Like she’d said, she had some sort of hero complex right now.
He’d been the one to crouch in front of her and draw her out of her stupor that night in Gustaf’s house. She thought of him as her protector. Her guardian. And he was. But how long would she need him like that?
Chapter Seventeen
Kally couldn’t control the fact that her cheeks felt heated all evening. She couldn’t stop smiling, either. No one said a word, but she felt self-conscious because surely, they’d all heard her screaming.
Maybe it hadn’t been as loud as what she’d heard in her head. But when she’d suggested that, Jagger had laughed. He’d also pulled her into his arms, kissed her senseless, and told her to never hold back because he liked her uninhibited side.
That had happened in the shower, the shower they’d taken together, the one where he’d washed every inch of her under the spray of water he’d insisted was scalding hot.
He’d humored her, as he always did, understanding that after a year of being washed with a fucking garden hose and cold water, she didn’t think she could ever take a shower that was less than boiling again.
When he’d first picked up the soap and had begun to wash her, she’d stiffened, panic threatening to consume her. When she’d grabbed his arm, he’d set the soap down, pulled her gently against him, and stroked her back until she’d managed to breathe normally.
“Sorry,” she’d muttered.
“No reason to be. I understand, honey.”
“You’re not them.”
“No, but that doesn’t mean you won’t be triggered sometimes. If you want, I’ll keep my hands off you in the shower.”
Water had been running down between them as she’d tipped her head back. “No, I want you to do it. It’s not the same. I just needed to remind myself. My arms aren’t restrained to the ceiling. The water is warm. The soap smells like you. Your hands feel like heaven. I’m good.”
“Okay,” he’d whispered, “but stop me if you need. This isn’t a dealbreaker, Kally. Nothing is. Never. Just because you don’t like me washing you doesn’t mean you never will. And even if you do, it will still be okay.”
“Kally?”
She jerked her gaze up at the sound of Gemma’s voice.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, I was just in my head.”
“I do that a lot. Sometimes, I get triggered by something. That’s the look you had,” Gemma said. The two of them were standing at the kitchen sink, rinsing dishes from dinner to load them in the dishwasher. The men had cooked tonight, so the women had agreed to clean up.
Kally swallowed. “Yes. Does it get easier?”
Gemma set the last plate in the dishwasher, shut the door, and dried her hands. She leaned a hip against the counter. “Yes. Every day. And when you start seeing a therapist, you’ll feel better faster. I promise. Dr. Langston is amazing. You could try her first. If she doesn’t work out, there are plenty of others.”
“I’ll set something up as soon as we can leave here. I’m sure it will be easier to see the same person who already knows our story.” She glanced around. “Do you think we’re ever going to be able to leave here?”
“I’m sure we will. The FBI will find the man who bought you soon.”
“What about the man who sold us? Don’t you think he’s just as pissed?”
Gemma sighed. “There is that, too.”
Kally crossed her arms. “It feels like he’s fucking with us, toying with us.”
“Who’s fucking with you?” Damon asked as he stepped into the kitchen. He pulled Gemma into his arms and held her back against his front.
“We were talking about whoever sold us.”
Damon kissed her neck. “We’ll catch him, baby. It might take a while, but we will get him.”
Gemma smiled at him, warmth in her eyes.
Kally loved the way he was with Gemma. He adored her. He rarely took his eyes off her. He touched her and held her every chance he got. She knew Jagger did the same thing, but it was different. Jagger and Kally hadn’t known each other before. They didn’t have history.
Gemma and Damon had fed a flame between them that had burned bright three years ago. Damon had been so obsessed with Gemma that he’d spent three years of his life looking for her, never giving up until he’d finally found her. And he’d bought her.
Kally fingered the front of her sweater at her chest. She wanted that. She wanted what Gemma had. She was jealous for no good reason because, for all intents and purposes, she had the same thing. Jagger did all the same things as Damon. Hell, so did Robert. The three men had been friends for many years. It wasn’t hard to imagine they all three treated their women similarly.
But was it real? It felt intense. It felt so good when he looked at her with that brooding gaze that made her shiver. It felt good the way he held her at night or rubbed her neck while she struggled to enter the bathroom alone. It felt good when he went in with her without complaining, turning his back so she could pee with moderate privacy.
But she couldn’t believe it could be real. She’d only known him for two weeks. He’d insisted he’d felt strongly about her from the moment he’d met her. He’d dropped everything for her, taken her into his home, into his bed.
God, she was grateful and so very lucky. But it scared her, especially how much she leaned on him and how hard she’d fallen for him. It was impossible to imagine he would really be with her next month or next year.
Could she even trust her own feelings? Yes, definitely. But she was just some girl from the wrong side of the tracks. She’d never been someone important. She hadn’t finished high school. She had nothing more than an associate’s degree from a small community college. She’d been working as a dancer in a sleazy club where she’d made poor choices and had ended up kidnapped, trained as a sex slave, and sold. What did Jagger see in her?
She flinched when she looked up again. She hadn’t realized she’d been so deep in her head that Damon and Gemma had left the kitchen. Jagger was standing in their place, one hand on the counter, brows furrowed. “Regrets?” he asked.
