Shadow mate shadow wolve.., p.14
Juggling Concerns (Karma Bakery Book 5), page 14
My anger slowly drained out of me. “What do you know?”
She didn’t respond right away. “That Colton fell for you and is a mess. You told him to piss off after you learned he didn’t tell you what he was.” She held up her hand to hold me off. “But we have elders and like real shit we can get into if we tell. I get you probably ran from whatever coven you were part of for being monsters, but we can’t just trust anyone. I’m sorry, we can’t.”
“Coven?” I whispered.
She sighed. “You’re good, Arabella. Really good, but anyone with magic would walk in here and sense your wards. You didn’t try to cloak them. Aunt Nicole can teach you how to hide them…” She frowned as she studied the bakery over her shoulder. “Maybe. Yours are seriously powerful.”
“And you’re very sensitive to them,” I praised, but then blew out a harsh breath when she looked at me. “And yes, you’re missing lots.” I took in a slower breath this time. “I’m sorry I assumed you were part of it all. I am. You didn’t deserve that.”
“I’m super lost, and I have no idea what’s going on,” she grumbled. “Aunt put me up in a fab suite after I told her I’d try and take you for a spa day.”
“We can talk, but I don’t have time for a spa day.”
She smirked at me. “Spa night. I made sure they would accommodate us. Open just for us so we can cloud what they hear. If I’m getting on a plane to clean up Colton’s mess, I’m damn well getting spoiled to do it.”
I opened my mouth but then closed it. A massage sounded amazing. “Fine, you can abduct me. I’ve had a shit day. Let me check no one needs me.”
“Deal,” she chuckled.
Twenty minutes later, I had an overnight bag packed and was ready to go with Sara. Something stopped me though. “Are you related to Nicole or Colton’s asshole father?”
Her eyes flashed shock but then she frowned. “My mother is Nicole’s younger sister.”
I felt a headache forming. “That makes more sense. I’m sure they didn’t want everyone knowing along the way.”
“Okay, I’m dying to know the dirt of this now.”
“No, you’ll probably regret getting involved,” I grumbled. I led her to my SUV since she’d been dropped off and didn’t rent a car.
She looked like she was dying to ask but instead guided me to the crazy expensive hotel. The valet hurried to take my vehicle for me, and Sara stopped to inform the front desk we would be ready for our treatments in ten minutes.
“You said Mrs. Knight is covering all of this?” I checked, smirking when she raised an eyebrow and nodded. I went over to the front desk and smile. “Hi, can we get a menu? I assume you’ll deliver wine to the spa, yes?”
The man took in our interaction and seemed to bite back a smile. “Yes, of course. I’ll have one ready for you along with our room service menu. Your attendants can order whatever you want.”
“Fabulous,” I purred, turning and following after Sara.
“So you’re pissed at Aunt Nicole too. I didn’t realize that,” she worried.
“Keeping secrets is what they do best,” I bitched.
I stowed my stuff with hers and we headed down to the spa. Once we were there and getting massaged, I heard her chant under her breath.
She looked at me and raise an eyebrow. “Okay, spill.”
Just to be sure, I added my own protections, noting when her eyes filled with amusement. “I’m not a witch or priestess.”
She snorted. “Of course you are, though I’ve never heard us called priestesses. I mean, I know that’s our history, but I’ve never heard it. It sounds so…”
“What?”
“Hinky.” She shrugged. “It sounds so self-serving of the gods, and I would think better of them.”
I burst out laughing, apologizing to the man massaging me. “Well, that would be your first mistake. They’re all about themselves and the glory.” I frowned, my heart full of sadness. “No, Hades wasn’t. He was so damn good. He just wanted to help the underworld and not have all souls go to somewhere horrid.”
“Your family has a legend about him?” she hedged.
“No, he’s my brother,” I chuckled darkly. Nodding when she blinked at me. “Yeah, that’s what you’re missing. I’m one of the original four gods.”
“That’s not possible. And there were only three,” she whispered.
“Text your aunt,” I pushed. “Ask her how many original gods there were. She knows the truth. She knows it all.” I watched as she skeptically grabbed her phone from the pouch under her head. She tapped it several times and then her mouth fell open. “And?”
She cleared her throat. “I said you were saying some crazy stuff, and she told me no matter what it is, you were telling the truth. She tried to warn me first, but there were delays and stupid with my flight.”
I snorted. “Plus, she knew I wouldn’t speak to you if I thought you were involved. Warning you would…” I wasn’t sure how to phrase it or if I was even correct.
“More like if she told me, there was no chance I was getting involved,” she grumbled, sticking her phone back. She winced when she saw whatever was on my face. “Not because of you. I avoid being seen by the elders or leadership at all costs. I’m marrying a human just for the reason they won’t be interested in me. I know my gene pool is good. I had to get special permission—” She snapped her mouth closed.
And apparently bit her tongue in the process from the way she cursed.
“You had to get permission to marry a human?” I asked, my tone full of venom.
“Okay, I’m not going to lie that I’m not scared of your anger,” she whispered. “Can I—I’m sorry, I need a minute. Or five. Wine. Yeah, that too.”
I honestly worried she was going to hyperventilate. After a bit of debate, I sent Mrs. Knight a message from Sara’s phone that she was an extra-large, super-sized idiot for not warning her niece… Who was currently about to faint with panic.
Did I seriously have to smack everyone in the world to use their heads?
No, even a goddess didn’t have that much time.
13
“Better?” I asked her when we were soaking in some specialized sea salt and ash bath. We’d had our massages and peels, but not we were alone and face-to-face. It was the time to talk if we were going to.
She let out a slow breath and chugged down some of the fancy sparkling mountain water. Worry was in her eyes when she looked at me, and I knew what she was going to say before she opened her mouth. “I like gotta see it. My mind is stuck that there’s no goddess Arabella but of course, you wouldn’t use your actual name. I kind of spin out from there.”
“Kismet,” I whispered. “I was called Kismet. I won’t use that name ever again, but that’s my name.” I snorted and drank my own water. “I almost said birth name, but I wasn’t born like humans or even you priestesses. We came about… It doesn’t matter. The four of us picked names.” I met her gaze and let her see the truth. “I am the reason that kismet came to mean fate.”
“But that’s not the truth?” she hedged.
“Not really, the fates control fate. It’s not wrong, but it’s more the fate one deserves for their past behavior. So karma does fit it better.”
“I thought it was fortune spells you were putting into your goods,” she admitted. “I felt power, but—”
“You are incredibly sensitive,” I warned her. “Most can’t feel it. Unless you’ve all been bred to a super level I’ve never known, you’re sensitive to it. Even Gina couldn’t tell, and she’s leader of her coven.”
Sara swallowed loudly and then took another drink. “I don’t believe the propaganda but—”
I snorted. “You’re the elite. You have the bloodlines and all that shit. Yes, I don’t need to be fully read in to know that. Zeus’s priestess used to spout all that knowledge at his pushing. Hades’s priestesses were bullied and pushed around. He never wanted any, and the underworld was eating him, so he missed too much. Some of the women ran.” I shook my head, wishing to change too much about the past.
“We’re said to be of Zeus’s priestess bloodline,” she confirmed.
I shrugged. “Maybe. I never really interacted with them, but Hera also wouldn’t let them thrive the way they wanted. So if you are, I’d warn your leaders to not make a big deal out of it because that cunt is horrid.” I sighed and focused on the bath. “I know it better than any.”
“Maybe that’s why we’re so hidden,” she muttered.
“What do you need to see to believe?” I called on some of my power and let her see my eyes change. I shut it down when I felt her fear. “I’ve never hurt you, Sara.”
“No, but the anger when you saw me was unreal,” she whispered. “Something big happened, and even if you weren’t a goddess, but simply a powerful witch, I was worried about the messenger getting smashed.”
“Then why do it?”
“Because you’re my friend even if we don’t talk often. Aunt Nicole said everything hit the fan, and you were seriously hurt because of it. Colton’s a mess. No one’s heard from him in like a week, and he won’t let anyone even in his building. Aunt Nicole is going nuts. She tossed Uncle out. No more graceful distancing and separating to avoid whispers.”
I winced, not having thought about him. “I’m shocked he’s alive. I gave him a large dose of my power, and Hades said he had a black heart. I figured… I don’t know.”
We were quiet a few minutes before she broke the silence. “What happened?”
“The short version is Colton knew who I was and lied to me. The long version is very dark, so strap in if you’re asking about that.”
“Does Colton know the long version?” she wondered.
“Yes. Enough to know how badly this was going to end. Which is why I cannot understand what game he was playing. I can’t figure out what he thought to achieve by—”
“Cole’s not like that, Arabella. I know he hurt you, but he wouldn’t play you or—”
I couldn’t hold back my anger, knowing it was in my eyes when she flinched. “He is the descendant of my priest who raped me. The first to rape me and use my untouched body like a whore he didn’t care if he killed, I was so disposable. And Colton is the first man I ever willingly touched all of these thousands of years later. If that wasn’t playing me then I don’t know what the fuck he was doing.”
“Traumatizing you for sure,” she whispered, her eyes so wide they looked ready to pop out. “Okay, start from the beginning because there was a whole lot of wow in there.”
So I did. I told her about all of it. I didn’t get into the details—either of the rapes or what I wished to have fixed—but gave her enough so she got the full picture.
“What the fuck is wrong with him?” she whispered.
I opened my mouth to ask which him, but the attendant came in and told us it was time to get out. We had more scheduled, but one look at Sara and I knew we were both done. They weren’t upset about that because they could only get one manicurist, and it was clear she was exhausted as well when we saw her.
So we kept on the plush spa robes and grabbed our stuff. Sara was in a daze as I led her back to the room. For some reason, it made me feel better she was so appalled. She was his cousin and loved him, yet she was clearly siding with me.
It helped validate my feelings and that I wasn’t overreacting.
If that made any sense.
I got her settled in one of the plush chairs as I quickly ordered food. I didn’t like any of the wines they had even if I wanted to rack up Mrs. Knight’s bill. So I made what I wanted appear with my power.
And I thought Sara might faint.
“Sorry, this is normal for me,” I chuckled. I cleared my throat and studied her. “Would you feel better if the twins were here? I can call and see if they’re avail—”
“No,” she said firmly, sighing when I raised an eyebrow. “I know I’m in shock, but I can’t imagine how much you need to talk. They’re your kids, like kids, not just adopted younger… Well, I knew they weren’t your cousins. They’re wolves. But I also didn’t know you were thousands of years old. You don’t remotely register like that.”
I did need to talk, so I appreciated her acknowledging that. “Can I ask if your fiancé knows?”
“He does.” She nodded when I gave her a skeptical look. “It’s not fair to hide it when our kids will have magic. That’s not against the rules, but it has to be at a level that’s serious and children are likely to be involved.” She winced. “If we divorce, that’s where things get complicated. An elder will have to wipe that from his mind or lock it with magic. It’s rare.”
I nodded like I understood, but I really didn’t. I was simply accepting the information really.
“Do you love Cole?” she whispered after we were sipping our wine.
“No, not yet.” I felt almost like I lied, but I shook my head. “I was starting to maybe feel something deeper, but it was a small ember. It could have been that, but it didn’t get a chance.”
“I cannot believe he’s such a fucking idiot. I don’t—his feelings are real, Arabella. I saw it. I saw his—the way he talked about you when he said you finally would go out with him was real.”
I snorted. “‘Finally?’ He didn’t even ask until after Isiah kissed me.”
“If he looked at you like he wanted you any more than he already did, I was going to vomit at the competition,” she drawled. “Everyone else clearly knew.”
“I’m a bit behind on all of that,” I accepted. “I’m not like any of you. I didn’t have…” There were so many words that could have finished that sentence, but I let it go. “I wanted to try normal with a human. He wouldn’t know. I didn’t have to be—I could simply be Arabella. I wanted that.” I angrily wiped tears. “It was all a lie.”
“And he knew you’re a goddess, not thought you were a powerful witch like I did?”
I shook my head. “He knew. His father knew, and that was why he was such a bastard to me. When those descendants of my priests arrived, Colton came barreling towards me and made a staff appear. He knew.” I sighed at her confused look. “It’s a powerful weapon your ancestors were given to defend our temples. If he can call on it, so can you. Others.” I shook my head again. I couldn’t get into that.
Instead, I tossed back my wine.
Our food arrived and I got us settled, Sara giving me an amused look that I didn’t order desserts, but simply made my own appear after the hotel staff was gone. I simply shrugged. She’d get used to it.
“So what happens now?” she asked after we finished off two of the appetizers.
I shrugged. “With what?”
“With Cole.”
I shot her an annoyed look. “If he’s struggling, that’s his problem. I’m drowning in pain and—why is he my problem after he did this to me?”
“He’s not,” she stated firmly, nodding when I studied her. “I’m not asking you to fix him.”
“Then I don’t understand,” I admitted.
She sighed and tossed back the rest of her wine before pouring us both more. She had moved to the sofa I was on so we could share plates, both of us taking an end to face each other. “There’s so many questions even I have. How can you not demand answers? Are you going to confront him? Make him confess what the fuck happened?”
I snorted. “You think I’d trust anything that came out of his mouth after this?”
She snickered, studying me when I couldn’t hide my confusion why that was amusing. “You’re a goddess. Why would you just believe him? Can’t you make him dance like a monkey?”
I opened my mouth but then slowly closed it. “It’s a line I don’t like to cross. Free will is the one area we all swore to tread lightly on. I only use it for the worst people.”
The dry look she gave me spoke volumes she thought I was dense. “Yeah, I’d put Cole and my uncle in that right now.”
That was fair. Really fair even.
Which was how I ended up at Colton’s after Sara passed out and I’d tucked her in. I thought maybe I was at the wrong place when I looked around and his immaculate apartment was trashed.
And the always put together, clean-shaven, and dashing Colton Knight was a mess. Mess didn’t even cover it. He was a disaster like his apartment.
“Are you trying to kill yourself?” I asked when I found him sitting out on his balcony in the freezing cold drinking directly out of a bottle.
“Would you forgive me then?” he whispered, closing his eyes and taking another swig. “Seriously? I’m so pathetic I’m hallucinating you now? Not being able to sleep because I see you when I close my eyes isn’t enough?”
I went over to him and ripped the bottle away. Then I made us appear in his bathroom. I turned on the shower, ignoring his confusion and shoving him under the spray when it was warm. He sputtered and yanked off his now soaked sweater. He tried to leave but I kept him there, mostly warming him up but also, I was enjoying his annoyance.
Colton tried to shut off the water but couldn’t seem to, giving me a shocked look when his drunk brain figured it out.
I simply batted my eyelashes. “Since I don’t have to hide what I am anymore so I didn’t scare the human I was involved with, I won’t.”
He glanced away, hanging his head in shame and not fighting. It did nothing to ease my anger. He should feel shame.
“Your cousin came to talk to me,” I told him while he warmed up. “Apparently, your mother is panicked about you and sent her to try and talk to me. It’s shitty to get her involved when she was clueless and scared to get involved.”
He didn’t look at me still, letting out a long breath as he leaned his hands against the tile. “Shitty or exposing?”
I wasn’t drunk, so even with a slight buzz I quickly picked up on what he meant. “You’re gagged? You and your mother are gagged somehow?” I opened my power up to him, scanning him.
“No,” he lied, his eyes pleading when he looked at me.
Yes, he absolutely was.
Except I didn’t know how to help him.
I sliced open my finger and drew on the glass as I thought of Poseidon. “Brother, I need your help when you can. There is more to this, and I don’t know how to pull back the layers.”
