It stalks behind me, out of view. I want to turn, but I can’t get my feet to move. And then I feel it lunge. I feel the tension at my back, the movement through the air, the anticipation, the instinct. My body finally springs into action, and I spin around just in time to see the bright blue belly of the beast as it arches through the air straight at me.

  SOLUANITIAT’TI SOMIITI’UN

  I pause and look down at our ovum. There is a tension radiating from it. It fills my mind and stops me from proceeding.

  Be easy, little one.

  I run a soothing hand over the sac. Stress is not good for its development.

  It settles, and a moment later Sheh’s face flashes through my mind. I have not checked on her in a while. It was best to avoid a repeat of the earlier episode. Though I have managed to lessen my sensory reception, I open my mind now, letting the sounds of the forest flood in.

  I realize first that it is quiet. Too quiet. I spin around expecting to see Sheh behind me, tired and agitated that I have ignored her, but she is not there. I stare through the trees, looking for any movement, any sign that she is making her way toward me, but there is nothing. There is only blue moss and vines.

  I think back to when I last checked for her. It has been a long time. I have no way of knowing if she fell behind recently or long ago.

  Sheh?

  I send the thought out as far as I can. I wait, hoping to hear her exasperated voice echo in my mind. There is nothing. I clear my throat.

  “Sheh?”

  My voice booms through the trees, bouncing off the canopy of leaves and reverberating out. Still, there is nothing.

  My ovum shifts. It moves in a jerky twist, and I open my mind to it, trying to sense what is wrong.

  There is pain. It radiates up my skull, and I fall to my knees with the intensity of it. I look around for the source.

  Sheh flashes through my mind and, suddenly, I am in her head, seeing as she does. She stumbles through the wood, her movements staggered and slow. I can sense her fear and her pain. Her eyes fall on a thick log. She lunges for it, and the hand that snatches it from the ground is slicked over with dark red blood. She spins around and falls back, bringing the stick up to wedge it into the gaping jaw of the miqun as it pounces.

  “Fuck! I’m gonna die. I’m gonna get eaten by a fucking saber toothed hippo and die. Sol, please hear me. Somebody hear me. Oh, my god. SOMEBODY HELP ME!”

  I go to the nearest tree and slam my fist into the trunk, breaking away a large piece of bark. I unwrap the ovum from my chest and lay it on a bed of moss before covering it with the bark. It will be safe here.

  I run back through the wood, pushing my body to move as fast as it can. I can only hope that she is not far away. I can only hope that it has not been long since she was behind me.

  Sheh?

  I catch a glimpse of her mind, but it is frantic and panicked. She cannot hear me.

  “Ah!”

  Sheh’s cry sounds out ahead. The trees here are thick, but there is a disturbance of vines and leaves a few leagues away. I run harder, leaping over a felled trunk, and land in the small clearing where Sheh faces the beast. It still holds the branch in its mouth. Sheh has not released the piece of wood, which means she is being flung every which way as the miqun tries to wrestle it from her. It jerks its head to the side, and a sickening pop rents out before the echoing pain of Sheh’s dislocated shoulder radiates up my neck.

  Her arm drops the log and hangs uselessly to her side as she falls to her knees. Her chest and arm drip with blood. The side of her face is swollen, and a long, angry gash mars one cheek. The miqun spits the piece of wood to the ground and stalks toward her. She kneels in front of it, her chest heaving from the effort to stay alive.

  “You suck, Black Jesus.”

  The thought is clear and filled with anguish. The beast growls and snaps. The front of its body drops low to the ground. Sheh watches it listlessly. She has retreated into her mind. Her thoughts are clear.

  “I said out. OUT. Black folks don’t get eaten in the fucking jungle. I can’t die. Not yet.”

  I step into the clearing, and her eyes shift to me. Relief chases away the anguish in her expression, and she smiles.

  “Sol.”

  My name is a breathy whisper before her eyes flutter back and she collapses to the ground just as the miqun springs. My feet move before I know it. I leap forward, intercepting the beast just before it lands.

  Our bodies clash violently, and pain like I have never known sears through my side. I ignore it. I can only think about Sheh. About saving her and keeping her safe. The miqun rolls away when we fall to the leaf covered ground but recovers quickly and immediately sprints toward me. I throw myself to the side when it lunges, and my shoulder lands on a large, jagged rock. I am aware of it tearing through my skin, but this sensation is crowded out by some other instinct. I jump to my feet and turn just as the beast leaps again. Without thinking, I grab up the rock and bring it down hard against the side of the miqun’s head. It seems to pause before it thumps heavily to the ground at my feet.

  The miqun does not move. I watch for several long moments, waiting for some sign that it lives. It does not. I search its mind and there is nothing.

  I have never killed anything before. My entire body vibrates with the rush of the encounter. I should have been scared, but I could only think of Sheh.

  Sheh.

  I spin around and rush to where her body lies still on the ground. Her dress is torn and bloody. Her beautiful, coily hair is littered with leaves and bits of vine. The cut across her cheek oozes blood down her chin. Just to the left of her right shoulder is a deep puncture in the flesh.

  She is badly hurt. I want to help her, but the only thoughts that will allow themselves to form in my mind tell me that she would not be this way if I had not shut myself to her. The thoughts cause a knot to form in my chest.

  I bend down and lift her carefully into my arms. She is so still, so small. The image of the beast tossing her tiny frame flashes in my mind and that knot tightens. I should have been there.

  I rush back to where our ovum is still hidden beneath the panel of bark. I set Sheh down and quickly retie it to my chest before lifting Sheh back into my arms. I raise my face and inhale. The sweet scent of water is in the air. I turn toward it and start to run through the wood.

  CHAPTER 13

  LASHAY

  I can see my face. The view is Sol height above me, and I know it’s his thoughts that I see. I must be dead because I don’t remember this. We’re walking through a field, and he’s laughing. The sound is deep and gentle. The smile transforms his face into that strange kind of handsome, and I feel my heart lift. He’s so fine. It’s too bad I got ate before we could really like each other.

  Sheh.

  He looks lovingly down between us and my eyes follow. Just when they would fall on what he’s looking at, the perspective shifts.

  I’m looking up at myself now. I’m far below, like I’m lying on the ground, but I’m still moving. It’s strange, but I feel good. Above me, I smile and stick out my tongue playfully. My perspective shifts to the left and I see Sol. He smiles down, too, before reaching and lifting me high into the air.

  I’m on Sol’s shoulders. I can feel the soft brush of his feathers on my calves as they dangle on either side of his chest. It tickles. I reach down to scratch my leg and the hand that scrapes along the shimmery bronze skin is small. Sol says something, his deep voice reverberating through my dream, and he turns back to me, the real me. I look different. My dress is torn and bloody, but I look happy. Alongside one of my cheeks is a long scratch.

  You are still beautiful, Sheh.

  I blink, and my perspective changes again. I’m in my own head now. Sol stands in front of me. He’s in his loincloth, looking perfect and beautiful. His expression is warm and relaxed. And we are not alone. Sitting on his shoulders, in a perfect replica of my favorite dress when I was five, is a little girl. Her bronze skin looks like it’s been dipped in a fine dusting of silver glitter. Her hair is a halo of wild, silvery-black curls. Along her shoulders, short, wispy bright yellow feathers flutter in the breeze. The eyes that gaze down at me are orange and full of love.

  She lifts her arms, holding them out to me, urging me to take her. I can't stop myself from moving forward. I reach for those tiny hands, and just when I’m about to take them, my mind blanks, and my eyes open on the dark, night sky.

  “Ooooooow!”

  I roll to my left side, the only part of my body that isn’t throbbing with pain. I can barely breathe. Every breath feels like it’s dragging a handful of nails through my chest. My face stings, the spot just below my right eye aches, and I can't feel my right arm.

  Do not move, Sheh. Your shoulder is dislocated. I will have to reposition it. It will hurt, but you will not be in pain for long. I promise.

  Sol moves beside me, and I get the sensation of him lifting my arm. He shuffles and there is a moment where he holds it suspended in the air, and then he jerks. My shoulder snaps into place, and pain shoots up my already aching shoulder. It’s so intense that I immediately heave. Acidic bile spills out of my mouth.

  It will not hurt for long, Sheh.

  I’m lifted from the ground. Sol’s steps jostle my bad arm, and I clench my mouth tight so I don’t scream.

  This will make you better.

  Our movement carries with it the sound of splashing water, and I open my eyes to find wading us into another spring. It’s smaller than the last. The waters sparkle pink and blue. They swirl with mist. He takes us deeper until it licks at my feet and back. Soon I’m immersed up to my shoulders.

  “Oh!”

  The relief is immediate. The pain in my arm vanishes. My brain clears from the haze of agony that grips me, and it’s like it never was. I can’t even remember the torture from two seconds earlier.

  I lift my right arm, and it only twinges the slightest bit. I drape it over Sol’s neck and pull myself up against him.

  “How am I better? What is this?”

  He does not answer. His eyes flicker across my face and suddenly he hauls me against him, wrapping his arms around my back and burying his face into my shoulder. He presses our bodies together like he can’t get me close enough. I hold still, caught off guard by the intensity of this behavior.

  “I am sorry, Sheh. I said I would be there for you, and I was not. I should not have closed myself to you. Had she not drawn my attention, you would have died, and that is not something I believe I could have withstood. Please forgive me.”

  I can’t breathe. He’s holding me too tight, but it feels nice, so I let him.

  “You came back for me though. You saved me. What was that thing?”

  “It was a miqun. They stalk these woods for prey. They do not attack Somii, but you are smaller. I should have protected you.”

  He sounds so distraught that I find myself hugging him in return to comfort him. I rub my hands over his back in a soothing motion.

  “Don’t worry about it, Sol. Did you have to kill it?”

  “I did.”

  “I’m sorry.”

  I really am. I’m sure he’s never killed anything before.

  He sighs, but manages to squeeze me even tighter.

  “I am also sorry, but I am happy that you live.”

  I lean away. It takes some work, since he doesn’t seem to want to let me go. He gives me just enough space to see his face.

  “How do you know you’re happy?”

  He frowns, and it’s more an expression of confusion.

  “I feel something—here.”

  He taps the middle of his chest and warmth spreads through me. I lean back in and squeeze him around the neck.

  “Aw, Sol. Do you heart me, dude?”

  “Does this mean that I wish to see you happy and alive, and that knowing you are near is the best thing I can imagine?”

  “Yeah, basically.”

  He wraps his arms around me again, touching every part of my back and pressing a soft kiss to my shoulder.

  “Then, yes, Sheh. I heart you very much.”

  SOLUANITIAT’TI SOMIITI’UN

  “Turn your head.”

  She does as I say, giving me access to the side of her face with the gash. I cup some water and pour it down her cheek. The red, jagged flesh fades and seals into a thin, pink line.

  “What is it?”

  Sheh’s voice is hesitant and small. When I drag my gaze back to her, she is staring across the water, running the fingers of one hand through my plume. It feels good. It sends a thrill through my body. My cock tightens, and I shift her higher on my waist so she does not notice it.

  “There are organisms that live in this spring that repair wounded flesh.”

  “No, I mean that.”

  I follow her line of vision toward the bank where our ovum rests. It is the first time she has acknowledged it. I observe her cautious gaze and consider the best way to make her understand without alarming her again.

  “It is you and me. It is us.”

  Her eyes jump back to me and she frowns.

  “What do you mean?”

  Her breathing has accelerated. I sense the panic rising in her.

  “I did not realize when we fukhed it could result in the joining of ourselves. I did not have experience in these matters. But it seems that we have—conceived, I believe is the correct term in your language.”

  Her eyes widen and flicker on my face.

  “Con—conceived? Like there’s a baby in there?”

  I nod.

  “The sac holds our developing fetus, yes.”

  “What kind of baby is it? What is it going to do?”

  “Do?”

  Despite the warmth of the water, Sheh trembles in my arms. Her fingers press hard into my back.

  “When it comes out.”

  “I believe it will fuss and require caring like most human and Somii younglings. I have never cared for one before, but I will do my best. You do not have to worry about this, Sheh. Pretend it is not here.”

  “Stop saying that.” She slaps my shoulder, and I wince when she does. “I know I’ve been freaked out about it, but you can’t just tell me not to worry about it. Do I have a baby in there? Like a live, human baby? It’s nothing weird?”

  I shake my head.

  “When you were ill, I looked into your mind. This thing you see—the creature with the thin, taloned legs—this is not our fetus. You have no reason to be afraid.”

  She looks across the water, and for the first time, she does not look quickly away. Her gaze lingers on our ovum, and slowly, her tremors subside. Her expression changes. The fear that was there a moment ago lessens.

  “I want to see it.”

  The water has done its work. Sheh’s wounds have begun to heal and will continue to repair themselves throughout the night. She is no longer hurt. She is no longer in pain. I carry her to the bank and sit her on my spread kesh. She huddles the fabric around her naked body and watches as I go to our ovum and lift it from its nest. As I carry it back to her, she watches me with wide, shifty eyes. I crouch down in front of her and lift the ovum between us. Her eyes travel over the sac.

  “It looks different up close—leathery. I thought it was hard.”

  She lifts her hand, letting it hover over the surface. Inside, our youngling is restless and ripples the area beneath her palm. Sheh snatches her hand back.

  “Do not be frightened, Sheh. She also hearts you. She is the one who told me you were in danger. She will not hurt you.”

  Sheh’s gaze jumps to mine.

  “She?”

  I feel my mouth lift in the way it has of late. The smile no longer feels stretched or awkward. It almost feels normal.

  “Yes, our youngling is a daughter, and she has been waiting to introduce herself to you.”

  CHAPTER 14

  LASHAY

  I don’t know what I’m expecting when my hand lands on the soft leathery surface of the egg, but that emotional pull engages and yanks so hard that my mind snaps back like a taut rubber band, and then I’m inside my head.

  Sol is there, smiling. We’re back in the field. The sun shines a soft pink on the tall green grass. His loincloth is gone. He’s in his kesh, and he’s holding the hand of the little girl.

  She looks like me—and Sol—with a round, chubby face that’s sharp and flat down the bridge of her nose. Her soft orange eyes are hooded like his. Bronze skin shimmers in the sunlight. She has my same riot of coils about her head, the strands are thick and so black they shimmer silver.

  She grins up at me, flashing little white teeth and bouncing on her toes. Her free hand reaches for mine. I drag my eyes from this little girl that sends a feeling of love rushing through me that I’ve only ever felt for my nieces and nephews, except it’s more because from the moment I see her, I know that she’s mine. I look up at Sol’s smiling face.

  “She’s—?”

  He nods.

  “She is of us, you and me. She is ours.”

  I’m dropping to my knees before I realize it and opening my arms.

  “Come here, little girl.”

  Every bit of fear I had about her and the egg is gone. As she bounces away from Sol, the anticipation to have her in my arms is overpowering. The second she throws herself against me, clasping her tiny arms around my neck, I melt.

  I sobbing chuckle erupts from my throat. Her arms tighten, and I bury my face into her little neck, inhaling deeply. She smells new and sweet. The fine feathers across her shoulder tickle my cheek.

  “My baby.”

  I lean away, wanting to see her little face again. She’s still smiling. I run a hand over her head and find the tight coils soft and fluffy. She touches my face, pressing her tiny fingers into the trail of tears.

 

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